Breaking: Scaramucci and Sanders eat elephant to cover up Don Jr's crime

Dear Mr Dump, It's Time to Cut Your Loses and Run Like Hell

Your brand is sinking faster than Joey the Mooch taking a swim in the East River while wearing cement shoes (to put it into terms you'll understand). Nobody with an ounce of reason can tolerate you anymore. Even the GOP senators seem to be waking up to how annoying you are (BTW: busing them in to the WH every month just to chew them out is probably not a good idea). Your lawyer buddies regard you as warmly as toxic sludge (too bad we don't have an EPA to fight toxic sludge anymore). Do you really want to stick around here till the bitter end? You must have a few million tucked away safely in some offshore account that hasn't been found yet. Why not take that and run? Cut all ties with everyone you know in this country and RUN!

Maybe you can find a small, war-torn country with a warlord who can be bribed not to extradite you back to the US to spend the rest of your life in prison. You will have to keep a low profile. No more initiating thousands of frivolous lawsuits because you feel like bullying people around. No more demanding rides in flashy gold carriages. You will have to live in a hut... maybe a leanto... maybe a refrigerator box. But that is better than prison isn't it?

On the other hand, your pitiful existence depends on your name being on everyone's lips 24/7. So maybe living incognito is the same as death in your messed up mind. The choice is yours, and I am begging you to make the right one. Think about this carefully because no throwing of "presidential" temper tantrums will save your bacon, my friend. So consult with the experts (your friend Assange would be a good place to begin). Find out all you can about life on the lam. Show us just how cunning you really are, just how much of a survivor (I give you no more than two weeks without your golden toilet, but that's just me).

Sincerely,
Joe American (Patriot)

One thing you will never see him say

But it's fun to make believe, isn't it?

Imagine you are part of tRump's secret service

You are supposed to keep the president and his family safe. But does that mean keep him safe from himself? Do you tell him, "No more two scoops for you, Mr. president!" Do you knock the phone out of his hands before he can tweet his latest string of BS that will land him in hot water? Do you remind him to put on a jacket when it's cold outside so he doesn't get sick?

Obviously, Sekulow thinks the SS is a glorified nanny service, and tRump is fine going along with that. Just one of the many perks of being king and having everything funded by the American taxpayers.

Does tRump have kuru (cannibal's brain disease)?

After much research and consideration, I have come to the conclusion that we have a president suffering from kuru, a prion disease that is transmitted through the consumption of human flesh.

The following is from Healthline: http://www.healthline.com/health/kuru#overview1

Kuru is a rare and fatal nervous system disease. Its highest prevalence occurred during the 1950s and 1960s among the Fore people in the highlands of New Guinea. The Fore people contracted the disease by performing cannibalism on corpses during funeral rituals.

(Let's go through the list of symptoms and see how many apply to Donald "But I didn't eat anyone today" tRump)

Symptoms of more common neurological disorders such as Parkinson’s disease or stroke may resemble kuru symptoms. These include:

difficulty walking
poor coordination
difficulty swallowing
slurred speech
moodiness and behavioral changes
dementia
muscle twitching and tremors
inability to grasp objects
random, compulsive laughing or crying

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Granted, the inability to grasp objects could be due to tRump being digitally challenged, but most of the other symptoms fit. Moreover, most republican congressmen are starting to exhibit early signs of the disease (moodiness and behavioral changes). I can only conclude that the republican custom of eating human flesh has brought kuru back from near eradication to wholesale epidemic. Imagine what will happen when they finally get their stupid healthcare passed! They'll have all you can eat long pig buffets daily!

Was Don Sr Really at That Meeting?

He pulled a Comey on us...



And the obligatory since you never know what is real and what is fake nowadays.

You know who else grabs and yanks people's hands?

Dogs.

Young dogs (and older ones who haven't been trained) are notorious for becoming overly excited, grabbing a person's hand in their mouth, and tugging on it vigorously. They don't mean anything by it except to say, "Oh, I love you! Won't you play with me?" However, it can be very unpleasant, and it can become dangerous with larger dog breeds. Every trainer and responsible dog owner recognizes this as a highly undesirable behavior issue and will do their best to try and correct it. The trainer I took my dogs to recommended either shoving my hand into the dog's mouth to make it uncomfortable or boxing the dog's ears.

So where the hell is tRump's trainer? Is it up to the first lady of France to shove her hand down his throat and box his ears? NO! He should have been taught that grabbing and yanking on hands was an undesirable behavior before being let out into public. But, no, we have an untrained, slobbering, deranged Great Pyrenees loose on the streets of Paris, and whenever he grabs someone's hand and yanks, we are supposed to think it's cute.

Seriously Donald?

It scores high with RW family values types.

Sorry, but I have to rant about continuing the fireworks after the 4th

It's 9:20pm and the people in back of us have started up with some LOUD roman candles. I see them flash through closed blinds.

I know this will continue for the next month or until they set fire to their house, whichever comes first.

Here's an idea. Save the fireworks for the middle of winter. When we get a big snowfall, you won't have to rake the snow off your roof. Just throw a couple of m-80s up there and let the black powder do the work for you.

Or how about just enjoying your fireworks in the privacy of your own home. You could have a lot of fun with a spouse of significant other placing fireworks under the bed in the early morning hours. Wouldn't that be a hoot?!

One thing is for sure. My dogs didn't like the fireworks four days ago when it was appropriate to set them off. They sure as hell don't appreciate them now. So if you find a large, smooshy, smelly "thank you" present right in the middle of that scorch mark on your lawn, don't be surprised.

Do You Trust Our Intelligence Agencies?

They are a lot more in the know than we are, and we know that tRump is under serious investigation for collusion. I would think that our intelligence agencies would be very careful how the handle classified info around tRump. I would also think they would want to maintain good relationships with other countries' intelligence agencies. However, we have seen on several occasions how our intelligence agencies have handed over intel that tRump has not been able to keep from blabbing.

So tRump meets with Pootie at the G20... alone. Does this seem strange? Maybe Germany bugged the meeting room. Who knows? But even if they did, would they share the recordings with our intelligence?

Obviously, none of us are going to be aware of the lengths our intelligence may be going to in order to catch tRump. (This info might appear in a book fifty years down the road.) But the disregard they've shown in providing classified info to blabber mouth in chief tRump makes me circumspect. Is anyone else feeling uncomfortable?