Nancy Pelosi Slams Edited Footage With Claim That When She's Drunk You'll Fucking Know It [View all]
WASHINGTONDenying that there was any factual basis to the doctored footage shared by President Trump that suggested she was intoxicated, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi blasted the viral video clip Friday by claiming that youll fucking know it when shes drunk. Yet again, we have the President spreading baseless accusations on his Twitter feed, this time implying Ive been drunk on the job, when in reality theres not going to be any goddamn ambiguity whatsoever when I decide to get loaded, said Pelosi, telling reporters that she couldnt have been under the influence in the video because it did not feature her clutching the lectern for dear life while flipping off her colleagues and calling them a gaggle of cocksuckers.
This video is a distraction from the malfeasance and cover-ups that this administration is actively engaged in, so let me put this matter to rest once and for all: When I get plastered, Im a mean-ass drunk, so until you see me actively pissing on the House floor or pressing a broken beer bottle up to [Minority Leader] Kevin McCarthys dumb face, you dipshits can rest easy knowing Ive been sober as a goddamn judge. Pelosi reportedly went on to do a keg stand on the Capitol lawn to demonstrate exactly what you fucking geniuses should be on the lookout for.
https://politics.theonion.com/nancy-pelosi-slams-edited-footage-with-claim-that-when-1835013354