Dealing with mental illness: Two steps forward, one step back for a lifetime because we deserve it

[elocs]

31. Since she was 17, my daughter has been diagnosed as schizoaffective: schizophrenia & bipolar.

She will be 32 this month & has lost her entire young adulthood to this vile mental illness.
She has been in one or another mental healthcare facility for over 3 years now, a virtual prisoner who cannot go anywhere on her own. Then a few years ago, the facility she is currently at now managed to have a guardian appointed for her who virtually controls her life. Then after a couple of years, this guardian forced her to sign a no contact agreement where she would have no contact with me, the person she loves & trusts the most. The guardian claims her behavior is worse after she sees me, but correlation is not causation.
Since I have no rights concerning her, they will not even answer my emails about her so I have no idea how she is or even if she is still alive. It's the not knowing that is heartbreaking.

But we are in Wisconsin, one of the top states for mental healthcare in the nation (I believe last year they were #1 in the nation). But she is in the system now and they don't want to let go. She gets $1000/month from SSI from which she is given a $100/month allowance.
I have found a lawyer for her who has worked with her before and he is trying to check things out for me. He said some things to find answers for and should be very easy to discover have been hard which puzzles him and makes him think that things are being covered up.
The sad thing is that she is completely isolated now from family, friends, or loved ones. But she knows that she is in my heart & mind, that I'm still here for her as I've always been.

Her birthday is on the 23rd, a week after mine and we've always separated our birthdays together. I've sent her a cake which I hope she receives. (Ironically, they allow me to send her packages, previously all from Amazon which does not say in the package who sent it. I have sent her things I know she needs, but I have also send things she would know were from me. She also can earn computer privileges. So what does she do when she gets on the computer? Duh! She emails me and we've sent hundreds of emails to one another over the past 3 months. But that has ended now without warning and I've heard nothing for a month now and nobody there will answer my emails. I don't even know if she is even still there.