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Oopsie Daisy

(4,555 posts)

132. Yes. That's exactly right. Definitely a mixed-bag *

Tue May 21, 2024, 12:19 PM

May 2024

* that I've been processing this past week. It's not the life I would have chosen for him... but it's the life he chose for himself. It wasn't some great tragedy that befell him (unemployment, illness, accident) it's just the way John was. Looking back, I know it was frustrating for him when we tried to help "set him on the right path". And maybe he was embarrassed, or he sensed that we may have been embarrassed by him. As people say when they want to avoid taking blame: "mistakes were made."

So, yes... relief is part of the mixture. I felt guilty over feeling relief... but I can accept that it's not bad to feel that way.

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Lulu KC

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I just learned that my homeless little brother died... two years ago... of covid. [View all] Oopsie Daisy May 2024 OP

very sorry Skittles May 2024 #1

She is "Sue" ... a name that we'd heard over the years. Close friend? Girlfriend? It's unknown. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #3

that is terrible, to sound so casual Skittles May 2024 #71

Yes. It was almost an "in passing" and "by the way" message. An afterthought. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #80

I understand your feelings. Yavin4 May 2024 #2

Thank you. You're right. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #9

Sorry for your loss. Groundhawg May 2024 #4

Many thanks. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #10

RIP XanaDUer2 May 2024 #5

Thank you. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #12

I'm sad for your loss, I am sad he was homeless. I am especially sad he died alone, and needlessly of Covid ... marble falls May 2024 #6

Thanks very much. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #15

That is a shame. LiberalFighter May 2024 #7

He died in Florida. I've looked into this, but without his SSN, it's unlikely. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #16

You're Right modrepub May 2024 #41

Thanks for your advice and insights. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #135

Doesn't look like there is a way to locate it in Florida. LiberalFighter May 2024 #42

We did that. The phone number is a mobile number with an area code that serves Minneapolis. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #45

He may well have turned to the VA with such a health crisis. 70sEraVet May 2024 #56

Thank you. We'll reach out. That's a good idea. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #77

Yes... definitely check with the VA! slightlv May 2024 #105

Thank you! We haven't given up yet. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #136

Aw, I'm sorry anyway... FirstLight May 2024 #8

Thank you. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #17

I am so sorry, not just for your loss, but also because you are left with so many unanswered questions. tblue37 May 2024 #68

Yes, that's difficult. Frustrating. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #79

I'm so sorry, Oopsie Daisy. LuckyCharms May 2024 #11

Many thanks! Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #18

Condolences FakeNoose May 2024 #13

Thanks so much. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #20

Requiescat in pace shrike3 May 2024 #14

I appreciate that. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #21

Praying for you mdmc May 2024 #19

Thank you. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #23

Sorry to hear this. ❤️ underpants May 2024 #22

Many thanks. It's not what I expected, but not surprising. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #24

for the last twenty years I ran a treatment apartment program for people with severe mental illness mdmc May 2024 #29

That's a good idea! We'll try that. We haven't given up on our efforts to reach out... Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #33

between the soup kitchens and bodega employees and social workers and others on the street... mdmc May 2024 #43

I'll never NOT give to a pandhandler again (unless I have nothing to give) Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #53

Yes. I agree with you on this. KarenS May 2024 #61

Husband always gives to panhandlers. shrike3 May 2024 #92

That's my new philosophy. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #102

The worrying and wondering must have been dreadful to bear. brer cat May 2024 #25

Yes. And I thank you. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #27

Holding your family in my heart. Mercy and peace bring you consolation... n/t TygrBright May 2024 #26

Thanks very much. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #28

So sorry for your loss. Whenever a family member leaves, there is loss. And grief. japple May 2024 #30

I appreciate your comforting thoughts. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #36

Bless. PlutosHeart May 2024 #31

Thanks for your kind words. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #34

I'm so sorry happy feet May 2024 #32

Thank you very much. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #37

I am sorry. KarenS May 2024 #35

Thank you. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #39

I'm so very sorry cate94 May 2024 #38

I appreciate your kind words. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #40

I can certainly understand why you would have a sense of relief! PortTack May 2024 #44

Yes. Thank you. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #48

I am so sorry for your loss. sheshe2 May 2024 #46

Thank you. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #49

I'm so sorry Katcat May 2024 #47

Thanks for your kindness. Sending strength to you and your family as well. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #50

I am so sorry senseandsensibility May 2024 #51

Thanks very much for you kind thoughts. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #54

I am sorry - TBF May 2024 #52

I understand. Thanks for sharing your story, too. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #57

Sorry for your situation. I sense your feeling MOMFUDSKI May 2024 #55

I appreciate that. Many thanks! Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #58

So sorry for your loss SocialDemocrat61 May 2024 #59

Thank you. That means a lot. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #64

I'm so sorry, and it is so sad. lapucelle May 2024 #60

I appreciate your kind words. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #65

I'm sorry for your loss, for what was & is & might have been. May he rest in peace & may you remember the good times. Hekate May 2024 #62

Many thanks! That means a lot. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #66

Very sorry, Oopsie. ancianita May 2024 #63

We are relieved, and sad. I can't even remember what my last words to him were. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #67

It's true. I hope you gave him a feeling of care. ancianita May 2024 #69

I am so sorry Oopsie Daisy. May the memeories and love you two shared be a blessing to you. debm55 May 2024 #70

Yes... we had a wonderful childhood. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #73

I'm so sorry... LeftInTX May 2024 #72

Thanks so much! Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #74

I'm so sorry mountain grammy May 2024 #75

Many thanks. We were close as children * Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #76

So sorry for your loss. COL Mustard May 2024 #78

I will. Thank you. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #82

Holding you and your family in love and light. May you all find peace niyad May 2024 #81

I appreciate that. Thank you Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #84

It sounds like this was the life he chose, so hopefully he was happy in it. Very sorry for your loss. Joinfortmill May 2024 #83

Yes. I must remind myself of that. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #85

I'm very sorry for your loss dlk May 2024 #86

Thank you, dlk! Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #88

Of course, I'll be thinking of you dlk May 2024 #90

Condolences on your loss Alice Kramden May 2024 #87

I appreciate that, Alice. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #89

Dear Oopsie Daisy, madaboutharry May 2024 #91

Thanks very much! I appreciate that. It helps to share. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #96

I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your brother, John. lucca18 May 2024 #93

Thanks, Lucca18. Your kind words mean a lot. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #97

I'm very sorry to hear this Orrex May 2024 #94

Thanks, Orrex! I appreciate that. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #99

I am sorry for your loss this way; I was also at a loss peacebuzzard May 2024 #95

Thanks for sharing your story, too. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #100

So with you. I am so sorry. MuseRider May 2024 #98

Yes. During this silence, we'd wondered "what-if he's dead" ... Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #101

Thanks, MuseRider May 2024 #104

The OUTPOURING of kindness of EVERYONE HERE has been very helpful and HEARTWARMING, and * Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #111

Sad story. It's not a Brady Brunch reality for a lot of families. OAITW r.2.0 May 2024 #103

Thank you, OAITW. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #108

What a story. What a sad story, and a heart-breaking one. He went where his heart wanted to go. Doodley May 2024 #106

Thanks very much! That helps to put it into perspective. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #109

I'm sorry for your loss. area51 May 2024 #107

That's kind of you to say. Thank you. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #110

Sorry for your loss. Don1 May 2024 #112

Many thanks, Don1 ... I appreciate that. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #113

Sounds fishy. ECL213 May 2024 #114

We thought that might be a possibility. But he stopped picking up and cashing checks * Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #116

The County Medical Examiner or Coroner should have a record of his death, Liberty Belle May 2024 #118

That's a good idea. Many road blocks and brick walls so far. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #119

My deepest condolences. Ursus Rex May 2024 #115

Thank you. That's a good way to describe it * Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #117

I am sorry Lulu KC May 2024 #120

Yes. That's exactly right. Definitely a mixed-bag * Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #132

we had a few of those in my family.... dembotoz May 2024 #121

Thanks for sharing and for checking-in. Things like this * Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #130

Let's hope Sue is still not receiving his benefits Owens May 2024 #122

That's a good question. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #124

I'm so sorry your brother died sdfernando May 2024 #123

Many thanks. It's frustrating and emotionally exhausting trying to find information * Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #129

Condolences wryter2000 May 2024 #125

Thank you. You're right * Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #128

I'm so sorry. Lots of complicated feelings there. yardwork May 2024 #126

We had a regular childhood, but it fell apart eventually * Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #127

Sounds a lot like my brother bif May 2024 #131

Thanks for sharing that, Bif. I'm very sorry * Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #133

Thanks bif May 2024 #137

sorry to hear this bif mdmc May 2024 #134

Thanks. bif May 2024 #138

So sad...... a kennedy May 2024 #139

Thank you. Oopsie Daisy May 2024 #140