General Discussion

Harmony Blue

(3,978 posts) Sat Nov 2, 2013, 10:46 PM Nov 2013

Why are men choosing not to marry anymore? [View all]

Is the single life good? I think so but lets hear it from others.

276 replies

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Highlight:

Why are men choosing not to marry anymore? [View all] Harmony Blue Nov 2013 OP

Having one wife is plenty. TheCowsCameHome Nov 2013 #1

... Gormy Cuss Nov 2013 #92

! Adsos Letter Nov 2013 #106

DUzy! truebluegreen Nov 2013 #235

not enough doormats? niyad Nov 2013 #2

Damn, seriously? tkmorris Nov 2013 #4

Yes, really. ChisolmTrailDem Nov 2013 #49

Well, if it's mainly those men staying single, that's a plus tkmorris Nov 2013 #98

Since you admit to there being "too many assholes" among your gender, whathehell Nov 2013 #153

wow-how utterly hilarious. you admit that there are too many assholes amoung your gender, but niyad Nov 2013 #262

Yeah, actually I DO call them on it, though not often tkmorris Nov 2013 #263

pace niyad Nov 2013 #264

You don't have to be married to treat someone (or be treated) ... Fantastic Anarchist Nov 2013 #252

is it the men or the women choosing? hollysmom Nov 2013 #3

I love the challenge a long term relationship brings. It makes me reflect on my behaviors and helps liberal_at_heart Nov 2013 #6

Ihave long term relationships hollysmom Nov 2013 #23

Great point seattle15 Nov 2013 #25

Yeah I love the old fashioned assumption treestar Nov 2013 #73

Exactly ismnotwasm Nov 2013 #118

I think that's a good question. Gormy Cuss Nov 2013 #93

Not marrying anymore? JimboBillyBubbaBob Nov 2013 #5

Because more women are choosing not to marry. Because women don't need to be married Squinch Nov 2013 #7

Some men don't want to grow up. And if women are going back to "being taken care of"... haele Nov 2013 #8

Childless by choice marriages are more common FarCenter Nov 2013 #10

I can understand that argument completely, although I have three children myself BlueCaliDem Nov 2013 #81

My suspicion: Brigid Nov 2013 #9

I think this is the most accurate answer or close to it Harmony Blue Nov 2013 #27

my husband's friend just got married. They both have good paying stable jobs. My husband and I were liberal_at_heart Nov 2013 #29

Absolutely! pink-o Nov 2013 #216

Marriage, in general, has changed SoCalDem Nov 2013 #11

All of these factors are influencing some portion of the young population. Dawson Leery Nov 2013 #18

My 18 yr old daughter plans on marrying. She has watched her father and me over the years and liberal_at_heart Nov 2013 #19

My brother and sister in law have a relationship like yours... Walk away Nov 2013 #84

So true davidpdx Nov 2013 #161

Freedom from sometimes unreasonable entanglements in an irrational world. Additionally, RKP5637 Nov 2013 #12

Why should they? treestar Nov 2013 #13

There are some good reasons for marriage for some people. bluestate10 Nov 2013 #63

nail, meet hammer, excellent post nt steve2470 Nov 2013 #164

Economic stagnation DireStrike Nov 2013 #14

because they don't have to Douglas Carpenter Nov 2013 #15

+1, n/t RKP5637 Nov 2013 #59

Family history in the 19th century reveals a number of bachelor uncles and maiden aunts FarCenter Nov 2013 #86

I had several great aunts who never married Art_from_Ark Nov 2013 #265

Then why have I been writing letters in support of same sex marriage? lumberjack_jeff Nov 2013 #88

It's actually a good question why the biggest issues of LGBT activism are Jesus Malverde Nov 2013 #96

I don't agree. I think that equality means one thing. lumberjack_jeff Nov 2013 #110

What percentage of LGBT people will actually marry? FarCenter Nov 2013 #151

I don't see why it would be any different. lumberjack_jeff Nov 2013 #154

Why do you believe that? MNBrewer Nov 2013 #212

Lots of gay couples will be childless and marriage will be less important FarCenter Nov 2013 #220

I think that's buying into the "children as a rationale for marriage" a bit too much. MNBrewer Nov 2013 #244

I think the LGBT community wants the right to marry Mz Pip Nov 2013 #230

Women my age are so old....... rdharma Nov 2013 #16

and so many men my age can't. . . . . niyad Nov 2013 #74

I hear you, in reverse of course! JNelson6563 Nov 2013 #166

This male decided to get healthy after 40. tridim Nov 2013 #234

I see marriage mostly as an institution to provide security to children Sen. Walter Sobchak Nov 2013 #17

Perhaps because marriage has become an avebury Nov 2013 #20

I only married my wife because she needed health insurance NickB79 Nov 2013 #21

Congratulations Nick79. liberal_at_heart Nov 2013 #22

This was 3 years ago NickB79 Nov 2013 #47

My Dad Was A Teamster ProfessorGAC Nov 2013 #66

Marriage is becoming more socially stratified mythology Nov 2013 #24

My husband was 20 and I was 18 when we got married and had our first child. We were dirt poor. liberal_at_heart Nov 2013 #26

This message was self-deleted by its author LiberalLoner Nov 2013 #50

Are we related? You're talking about my nieces. :) bermudat Nov 2013 #105

This message was self-deleted by its author LiberalLoner Nov 2013 #247

Some truth to this JustAnotherGen Nov 2013 #231

I think that's always been true though. wickerwoman Nov 2013 #266

Gays have destroyed the sanctity of it. Cannikin Nov 2013 #28

ROFL grahamhgreen Nov 2013 #51

I waited until I was 36. I'm the child of divorce Nevernose Nov 2013 #30

You made a very thoughtful decision and will likely have a long, happy marriage because of it. liberal_at_heart Nov 2013 #31

That is an excellent reason davidpdx Nov 2013 #162

If I had it to do over, I wouldn't... KansDem Nov 2013 #32

Not legal for me. Behind the Aegis Nov 2013 #33

not yet. DesertFlower Nov 2013 #36

Fingers crossed, but I don't hold out much hope for it to be soon. Behind the Aegis Nov 2013 #37

even if it becomes legal in your state DesertFlower Nov 2013 #43

Yup...sadly, it is one right of which I cannot partake. Behind the Aegis Nov 2013 #44

so unfair. when my friend's ex SO died DesertFlower Nov 2013 #46

Typically, if you die without a will, half the estate goes to the spouse and half to the children. FarCenter Nov 2013 #222

You missed a really big story this year. ieoeja Nov 2013 #241

That so sucks! Le Taz Hot Nov 2013 #67

Soon! JNelson6563 Nov 2013 #167

me too irisblue Nov 2013 #185

Hell yeah its awesome! IronLionZion Nov 2013 #34

A nasty divorce and custody battle between my sister and her ex... roamer65 Nov 2013 #141

The Perfect Excuse left on green only Nov 2013 #158

What supports "men choosing not to marry anymore" anyway? flvegan Nov 2013 #35

Because Obama. NYC_SKP Nov 2013 #38

lol treestar Nov 2013 #55

Everytime I see this it cracks me up..... Avalux Nov 2013 #77

It is clearly the women who are choosing larkrake Nov 2013 #39

that is not true for everyone. I know lots of couples who get married but chose not to have liberal_at_heart Nov 2013 #40

agreed... we totally got married for US ProdigalJunkMail Nov 2013 #65

good question. the other DesertFlower Nov 2013 #41

What's that sayin'..."if you're getting the milk free, why...?" demosincebirth Nov 2013 #42

Or "why buy the whole pig when all you want is a little sausage?" Freddie Nov 2013 #58

really? and they call women sluts if they have sex out of marriage. really? nt seabeyond Nov 2013 #90

Who is they? IronLionZion Nov 2013 #210

Olé Ghost Dog Nov 2013 #242

Yes, and that works both ways. polly7 Nov 2013 #111

I agree with you. I'm just quoting an ol' saying. nt demosincebirth Nov 2013 #136

Oh, I know! :) polly7 Nov 2013 #137

Afraid of being tied down. Going on for decades. Manifestor_of_Light Nov 2013 #45

Some people come into marriage lying. I don't understand that type, whether bluestate10 Nov 2013 #64

I doubt they were lying, it is just that a lot of people do not understand love. Drahthaardogs Nov 2013 #119

I think it was manipulation and active desire to hurt me. And lying. Manifestor_of_Light Nov 2013 #142

I can't answer for "men" only for me. Chan790 Nov 2013 #48

My other girlfriends wouldn't like it :) grahamhgreen Nov 2013 #52

I married my wife for her 1969 Ford Torino GT Fastback, god I loved that car! B Calm Nov 2013 #53

A lot of them have live in girlfriends, the best of all worlds. Warpy Nov 2013 #54

Maybe the women aren't? treestar Nov 2013 #56

I just read an article that says that women are the ones choosing not to marry cali Nov 2013 #57

I choose to focus on business. I wouldn't be able to spend the time with her bluestate10 Nov 2013 #60

Fascinating thread. Lots of interesting insight. k&r for exposure. n/t Laelth Nov 2013 #61

Because divorce sucks thelordofhell Nov 2013 #62

The economic need for two incomes is destroying the American family Taitertots Nov 2013 #68

A bit of music for the thread. Bluenorthwest Nov 2013 #69

. lumberjack_jeff Nov 2013 #89

If I had to guess (and I do) Shankapotomus Nov 2013 #70

I tried it twice madville Nov 2013 #71

Because women are doing background checks. nt Zorra Nov 2013 #72

you nearly owed me a keyboard! niyad Nov 2013 #75

Given gender rates at university, I think less women are finding elegible mates eom TransitJohn Nov 2013 #76

Maybe it's women choosing not to get married. nt geek tragedy Nov 2013 #78

A lot of men choose not to marry any more because the divorce laws are so unfair against them. nt aaaaaa5a Nov 2013 #79

have they changed? No. I know two women who pay alimony, so that's nonsense. bettyellen Nov 2013 #103

You have to be incredibly biased to not realize the issues men face in family court. aaaaaa5a Nov 2013 #117

Women pay child support in Texas, and Texas doesn't have "alimony". Manifestor_of_Light Nov 2013 #269

I agree PowerToThePeople Nov 2013 #189

The economic and social compulsion for it, for both genders, is diminished Recursion Nov 2013 #80

Because the women they are dating are forcing arthritisR_US Nov 2013 #82

:) redqueen Nov 2013 #83

It is no longer a social requirement for sex marshall Nov 2013 #85

Because they are less able to take care of a family financially than previous generations. lumberjack_jeff Nov 2013 #87

interesting of the three close friends I know of well enough to have heard the stories bettyellen Nov 2013 #102

I'm not so sure it is just men. Plenty of woman make that choice also. jwirr Nov 2013 #91

I gave it a shot. ForgoTheConsequence Nov 2013 #94

are they? La Lioness Priyanka Nov 2013 #95

there is an active and bitter anti-woman/marriage movement grasswire Nov 2013 #97

lol, living a loser life and blaming it on women. hmmmm, lol. no surprise there. really? wow. seabeyond Nov 2013 #99

Not a surprise. Katashi_itto Nov 2013 #120

men arent getting educated, getting jobs, marrying and being fathers cause they are anti women seabeyond Nov 2013 #121

You see "anti-women" under every stone. Hiding around every corner. Katashi_itto Nov 2013 #123

uh... you might want to actually fuckin READ the post i responded to. for fuck sake. seabeyond Nov 2013 #124

As grammatically challenged as it was...I did. Quote: Katashi_itto Nov 2013 #125

"active and bitter anti-woman/marriage movement" the post i replied to. seabeyond Nov 2013 #126

All anyone has to do is look at your previous/old posts Katashi_itto Nov 2013 #127

ah... so you finally get how FAILED your argument is and now you back pedal to....???? seabeyond Nov 2013 #128

Not at all. Why would I respond to incoherent babbling? Katashi_itto Nov 2013 #129

you fail in argument three or more posts, and now you are saying you did not respond seabeyond Nov 2013 #131

Keep telling yourself it's everyone else Katashi_itto Nov 2013 #133

Sea, it is clear in this sub-thread what you were saying. NCTraveler Nov 2013 #219

thank you nc for actually addressing the words i use. i appreciate it more than you know. nt seabeyond Nov 2013 #225

+1 redqueen Nov 2013 #236

Sexism is endemic to society. BainsBane Nov 2013 #149

Ah, an attempt at biting commentary from BB Katashi_itto Nov 2013 #163

Your point is quite clear BainsBane Nov 2013 #268

Shall we look up some of yours? BainsBane Nov 2013 #270

"Loser Life" Hissyspit Nov 2013 #218

These are men who blame feminists for all their problems redqueen Nov 2013 #237

I typically put it more diplomatically BainsBane Nov 2013 #271

What you stumbled on is far right wing BainsBane Nov 2013 #145

are you saying the movement does not exist? grasswire Nov 2013 #146

Sorry, I've gotten myself confused here BainsBane Nov 2013 #147

going Galt? PowerToThePeople Nov 2013 #190

That's pretty much some crackpot fringe BS. HappyMe Nov 2013 #205

I've always wondered how many of these types actually exist? It can't be many. Dash87 Nov 2013 #213

didnt you watch the google video when tehy put in feminist should... die, be killed? put in women seabeyond Nov 2013 #224

I'm talking about organized MRA groups in particular. Dash87 Nov 2013 #248

i see. gotcha. thank you for clarification. would be interesting to know the numbers. seabeyond Nov 2013 #249

My reason is probably different than most. tapermaker Nov 2013 #100

been there, done that.... mike_c Nov 2013 #101

Maybe young people (men and women) are not rushing marriage because they are better educated, redgreenandblue Nov 2013 #104

Men are not no better educated than they were 30 years ago lumberjack_jeff Nov 2013 #109

Better educated tc45a Nov 2013 #112

If we were working less hours, I would say "good". However, that is not true. lumberjack_jeff Nov 2013 #156

Work schedule precluded it when it was most likely for me; Then bachelor inertia took over Populist_Prole Nov 2013 #107

I'm very happily married now Blue_In_AK Nov 2013 #108

I'm not even sure that's true. MineralMan Nov 2013 #113

I love being married tc45a Nov 2013 #114

As a guy, I see no reason to get married. Proles Nov 2013 #115

I'm engaged, but why bother getting married, really? Codeine Nov 2013 #130

Don't wait too long the good ones get picked over quick tc45a Nov 2013 #253

Yes, that is true, but I would refuse to marry if only out of fear of "growing old alone." Proles Nov 2013 #259

The younger woman older man tc45a Nov 2013 #261

Marriage is a trap, but mostly for women. alarimer Nov 2013 #116

I think the reason a lot of women choose not to marry these days (or remarry) is raccoon Nov 2013 #122

If your man expects to be "waited on, placated, and catered to" then he's a lazy jerk! Dash87 Nov 2013 #215

ITA. IMO and IME, many men my age and older have that mindset. nt raccoon Nov 2013 #245

.... DeSwiss Nov 2013 #132

I am married. I went to a friend's party ejpoeta Nov 2013 #134

I'm in my 40's and never saw a reason to get married. Marr Nov 2013 #135

I'm in my late 20's and I have yet to meet a woman I can date for a few months months, let alone... Hippo_Tron Nov 2013 #138

I think its a good thing. roamer65 Nov 2013 #139

Subthread at response #97. n/t flvegan Nov 2013 #140

0-6 jury leave on your post. nt msanthrope Nov 2013 #144

ah, clever woman. he was insulting you too. he was just using me to insult all of us. brilliant. seabeyond Nov 2013 #172

I don't think he was insulting anyone..thus the 0-6 jury verdict. nt msanthrope Nov 2013 #173

you do not? then tell me what he was talking about the reason men are not marrying in that SUBTHREAD seabeyond Nov 2013 #174

I don't have to prove anything to you. An 0-6 jury verdict puts the burden of proof on you. nt msanthrope Nov 2013 #175

lmfao.... he insults all women and for whatever reason, you think you are insulated. as if really, seabeyond Nov 2013 #176

Who, precisely, is your "oppressor" today? I really couldn't get anything else msanthrope Nov 2013 #178

you made the statement he was not insulting anyone. yet you do not feel any need to clarify the seabeyond Nov 2013 #179

The 0-6 jury on the alert means I don't have to clarify anything. Who on this board msanthrope Nov 2013 #182

no misnathrope. the fact you have no argument and this man insulted me and women in seabeyond Nov 2013 #183

I don't have to have an argument. I agree with the verdict. It is you msanthrope Nov 2013 #184

ok msanthrope. allow flvegan to insult all women without speaking out. you make his "good" seabeyond Nov 2013 #186

He didn't insult anyone...it is you and grasswire who were rude. And the fact that you apparently msanthrope Nov 2013 #192

you squirmed a whole lot, but i guess you wiggled yourself into what you can comfortably call an seabeyond Nov 2013 #193

back to this. so basically you are saying it is in my "tone". i was not "nice enough" addressing seabeyond Nov 2013 #195

Um, no. Your tone was the least offensive thing about that subthread. nt msanthrope Nov 2013 #197

yes. i get it. the good woman shall not be offensive when addressing the offensive. seabeyond Nov 2013 #198

No...no one should post bullshit from a blogger at Pajamas Media on a Democratic msanthrope Nov 2013 #199

well, once again, you make assumptions to create an argument. not the way to go woman. now.... seabeyond Nov 2013 #200

Pajamas Media bloggers are acceptable sources on gender conflict? You are the one who msanthrope Nov 2013 #203

apologize for what? not having posted that dribble. fuck, you are funny. lol. seabeyond Nov 2013 #204

Oh...we agree. I think you are done with this thread. nt msanthrope Nov 2013 #208

No..good DUers shouldn't insult other DUers by using Pajamas Media for their sources msanthrope Nov 2013 #201

the only insults toward duers are coming my way. i snarked at an offensive anti woman post. you seabeyond Nov 2013 #202

You and grasswire used an inappropriate winger source to argue gender politics. msanthrope Nov 2013 #206

no. grasswire made a post. and i called it out. that simple. then the other poster jumped in seabeyond Nov 2013 #207

I don't find your defense persuasive. nt msanthrope Nov 2013 #209

Of course it isn't persuasive. Just the facts. No assumption, false accusation or insults. seabeyond Nov 2013 #214

LOL, no idea if you are really serious. nt Logical Nov 2013 #180

then you clarify his statement. what is he saying? the subthread is why men are not marrying. seabeyond Nov 2013 #181

I'm right here. flvegan Nov 2013 #276

What floors me...I mean really floors me...is the lack of picked up social cues. If msanthrope Nov 2013 #188

kinda like flvegan rudely insulting me and crying victim of women like me.... bah hahahah. you are seabeyond Nov 2013 #191

It is you...and whomever alerted...who cried 'victim.' And no one has insulted msanthrope Nov 2013 #194

uh hu. lol seabeyond Nov 2013 #196

Back up you post. flvegan Nov 2013 #272

Back up how I "insult(s) all women" flvegan Nov 2013 #273

Actually she is married. BainsBane Nov 2013 #148

Stay classy. nt redqueen Nov 2013 #155

Will do, learn from it. n/t flvegan Nov 2013 #275

A truly compelling argument. n/t lumberjack_jeff Nov 2013 #157

what would the compelling argument be jeff? cause you are playing awfully subtle here, but really, seabeyond Nov 2013 #171

The belief that all women's problems can be externalized onto men is a turnoff. lumberjack_jeff Nov 2013 #217

ah, so addressing an anti woman org is being anti man. gotcha. we will disagree with the rest of seabeyond Nov 2013 #226

thought. a black calling those in KKK losers, a gay calling those in westboro losers. seabeyond Nov 2013 #251

Women are to men as blacks are to the KKK? lumberjack_jeff Nov 2013 #254

Women are to men what blacks are to whites. Or, women are to men's hate groups what blacks seabeyond Nov 2013 #258

what are you saying? that i am the reason men arent marrying? i represent all women, and this is seabeyond Nov 2013 #170

Post removed Post removed Nov 2013 #221

and the blatant misrepresentation by pulling out a couple words in a whole sentence. amazing. seabeyond Nov 2013 #228

Umm yeah... Katashi_itto Nov 2013 #238

Why is it all about YOU seabeyond? flvegan Nov 2013 #274

Economics, age, desire for family. Missn-Hitch Nov 2013 #143

I can only speak for myself > BlueJazz Nov 2013 #150

Funny, because I encounter lots of married men BainsBane Nov 2013 #152

If your premise is true, could it be that fewer women are demanding marriage? Egalitarian Thug Nov 2013 #159

If it were not for the rights and privileges that go along with marriage LostOne4Ever Nov 2013 #160

way too many people, past and present, get married for the wrong reasons steve2470 Nov 2013 #165

Twerking. Iphones. Video Games. Bisphenol-A. Not enough Jesus. Porn! Post-Modernism. Warren DeMontague Nov 2013 #168

.......... steve2470 Nov 2013 #169

Miley Cyrus' twerking caused me to break off an engagement! JVS Nov 2013 #255

You think that's bad? It caused me to break off a FINGER! Warren DeMontague Nov 2013 #257

Social freedom get the red out Nov 2013 #177

Gotta get one to come near me first :P Arkana Nov 2013 #187

Marriage is a construct... CoffeeCat Nov 2013 #211

+1 PasadenaTrudy Nov 2013 #223

*HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!* whatchamacallit Nov 2013 #227

It Is Not Worth The Risk Of Divorce cantbeserious Nov 2013 #229

The single life is for kids, men do get married. Omnith Nov 2013 #232

It just never happened for me yet. Xyzse Nov 2013 #233

Mutual decision, extended adolescence, bro culture, and a crap economy Prism Nov 2013 #239

Because many of them are afflicted with the Peter Pan syndrome. Beacool Nov 2013 #240

I don't agree with you but I welcome your perspective Harmony Blue Nov 2013 #243

What about women that decide that they don't wish to marry? HappyMe Nov 2013 #246

Another factor: the decline of religion's stranglehold on these matters. Arugula Latte Nov 2013 #250

I'm getting married on March 8th next year. Puzzledtraveller Nov 2013 #256

Personally, I married once and it was a disaster. TroglodyteScholar Nov 2013 #260

Yes. wickerwoman Nov 2013 #267