I'm done, too.

[seabeyond]

276. you are a man. in the feminst circle, one of the things we would bring to your awareness that as a

man, especially a white man you sit in a privilege that allows you to be heard in your calm manner. and if you were to speak in a more aggressive manner? that would be alright too, cause as a man, that is simply innately who you are and you are being a good leader. yes.... you will find that speaking in a calm manner will gain more attention.

now, a couple things.

as a woman, i am told i am hysterical, when there is no hysterical there. i am told that i pulled out a fainting couch for merely making the statements i did. people would be all over that post to you, stating what a manhater i am, how angry and hysterical i am. when there is nothing there.

i have had times when talking to a poster, and tell him three or four time my perspective and i am insulted. a man steps in and uses my exact words. the poster then backs down and says.... oh, so reasonable and your "tone" was respectful. now i get it.

this has happened regularly, though not often. the man and i will sit and look at each other and say, ya.... perfect example of our patriarchy.

that is why i do not buy the whole tone issue. there are certain people that will characterize and dismiss not cause it is valid, but cause they cannot argue the issue.

i doubt that you have had the same experience as a man, that i have as a woman, interacting with men.

a fun experiment to experience what we women do. go into a discussion forum, use a woman name, present yourself as a woman, and see the response to you

the same things you say now, that you say is well received, and the difference in the reaction to you cause the person thinks you are a woman.

i have been called frigid, my old uterus would never produce two boys, anti sex, sex negative, manhater (a fav), and so many many other nasty names. yet. on du, we are told we should be more nice.

personally, i think i am damn nice.