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PassingFair

(22,434 posts)

9. My husband started to talk about marriage on our first "date"...

Sun Dec 7, 2014, 01:52 PM

Dec 2014

...well, our first date DID last 4 days!

One night, after he had moved in, he was talking about "what if we got married..."
I asked him if he was asking me or just talking...
He got up and dug out a ring setting that we had found while we were out walking,
super-glued a piece of green glass into it, and told me he was only asking if I was saying
"yes".

I said yes....we've been married for 25 years now.

After we got "engaged", people, mostly women, would ask to see "the ring"...
I would stick my hand out and show them that god-awful, glued together ring
and they would be STRUCK SPEECHLESS!!

Got a lot of mileage out of that ring!

I put it away when I got my gold band, which I wear all the time. Not to show
that I am "property", but to signal my "paired" status.

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Highlight:

The latent sexism of the male marriage proposal [View all] boston bean Dec 2014 OP

Women will next be welcome to propose marriage on February 29, 2016. Nye Bevan Dec 2014 #1

really? women are only allowed to propose on leap years? boston bean Dec 2014 #2

. Nye Bevan Dec 2014 #3

that's a fun little ditty.... boston bean Dec 2014 #4

I proposed to my husband susanr516 Dec 2014 #64

No matter whether the couple do the traditional proposal or not, KitSileya Dec 2014 #5

true. boston bean Dec 2014 #7

Actually my wife proposed to me, her proposal began like this tularetom Dec 2014 #6

I bet you a lot start out like that! LOL boston bean Dec 2014 #11

I remember how my husband proposed notadmblnd Dec 2014 #8

LOL, I love it! nt boston bean Dec 2014 #15

My husband started to talk about marriage on our first "date"... PassingFair Dec 2014 #9

I wanna hear more about those 4 days!!!! :) boston bean Dec 2014 #10

Here's the wedding pic.... PassingFair Dec 2014 #34

Ohhhhh... that hair... ScreamingMeemie Dec 2014 #39

Yeah... He had some HAIR!! PassingFair Dec 2014 #56

I love it... Now I'm only curiouser!!! LOL boston bean Dec 2014 #47

We knew each other for over a year before that fateful night... PassingFair Dec 2014 #57

It's so nice .. sendero Dec 2014 #13

To the author, there are fewer proposals every day AngryAmish Dec 2014 #12

I proposed to my husband. Twelve years later, we finally got around to it. Luminous Animal Dec 2014 #14

It's a well-known axiom of social science that traditionally closeupready Dec 2014 #16

The term you are looking for is hypergamy davidn3600 Dec 2014 #29

But that is not true any longer treestar Dec 2014 #59

I've often wondered how many women say Yes ... GeorgeGist Dec 2014 #17

Your story is more common than you might think. Cleita Dec 2014 #19

Unlike the movie or romance novel version, most of Cleita Dec 2014 #18

We had an unorthodox discussion on this topic: CaliforniaPeggy Dec 2014 #20

Peggy, I think your experience is probably quite common! boston bean Dec 2014 #21

After reading your thread, I have to agree! Thanks for the good wishes, my dear Boston Bean! CaliforniaPeggy Dec 2014 #24

I think the traditional proposals are more common with snooty upper class folks. Ykcutnek Dec 2014 #22

I think you are correct. Most people discuss these things prior to engagement. boston bean Dec 2014 #25

Donna proposed to me and I was smart enough to accept. hobbit709 Dec 2014 #23

Flash Mob??? stone space Dec 2014 #26

from a tv show.. boston bean Dec 2014 #27

I'm pretty confident when I know that... stone space Dec 2014 #32

I've always thought the reason women dont do it is because they're afraid of the possible rejection davidn3600 Dec 2014 #28

I swear, DU is starting to sound like Portlandia. nolabear Dec 2014 #30

Or the writers of Portlandia owe somebody some royalty payments. nt Nuclear Unicorn Dec 2014 #36

I'm from a strongly matriarchal family. hunter Dec 2014 #31

You just might have the most interesting life story of any DU'er. nomorenomore08 Dec 2014 #50

. hunter Dec 2014 #54

In all seriousness, I've had a few (mis)adventures myself, but my autobiography would be boring nomorenomore08 Dec 2014 #55

We talked about it, but thought it would be kinda weird to have a woman make the proposal.... Liberal Veteran Dec 2014 #33

Lol Quackers Dec 2014 #53

I'm short on time, but the article seems to gloss over the fact that most women prefer it this way. Threedifferentones Dec 2014 #35

That's sort of what I was saying... davidn3600 Dec 2014 #37

men telling us what we prefer treestar Dec 2014 #44

Just making an observation, no reason to get hostile davidn3600 Dec 2014 #48

they might be afraid of being called desperate treestar Dec 2014 #43

I seem to remember this video that I yuiyoshida Dec 2014 #38

My proposal from my husband began with,"I was driving over here to break up with you..." ScreamingMeemie Dec 2014 #40

hahaha... I imagine something you said boston bean Dec 2014 #46

I turned my boyfriend down twice. alarimer Dec 2014 #41

The down on th knee things seems to be a more recent re-introdlluction of some old custom treestar Dec 2014 #42

my husband's proposal was decidedly not romantic fizzgig Dec 2014 #45

when I was 2O (22 yrs ago) this chump somehow convinced me to pay for my own ring freeplessinseattle Dec 2014 #49

hubby says he proposed to me on bended knee...I'm not so sure... CTyankee Dec 2014 #51

I bet there are more proposals now while holding a pregnancy test instead of a ring. rug Dec 2014 #52

That seems counterintuitive, with the wider availability... Humanist_Activist Dec 2014 #60

It has nothing to do with shotguns. It has more to do with the reality of a child. rug Dec 2014 #61

We had gotten to a point in our lives where we both had enough assets to be worth protecting REP Dec 2014 #58

This is a fantastically hetero-assumptive article and thread. Bluenorthwest Dec 2014 #62

I was waiting for you on this thread...and I'm so glad you showed up. nt msanthrope Dec 2014 #63

Oh, the horrors Doctor_J Dec 2014 #65