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Masturbating men ‘will find their hands pregnant in the afterlife,’ ‘claims Muslim televangelist’ [View all] FrodosPet May 2015 OP

babyfingers reddread May 2015 #1

LOL FrodosPet May 2015 #3

Why both hands? BeyondGeography May 2015 #2

Some guys awoke_in_2003 May 2015 #7

Like the old Burger King slogan?? Ghost in the Machine May 2015 #35

Maybe the other hand gets jealous?? Ghost in the Machine May 2015 #34

Then I guess I'll be expecting a lot of kids. RandySF May 2015 #4

LOL! leftofcool May 2015 #5

Okie dokie! What about masturbating women? leftofcool May 2015 #6

They will end up with ten penis' Pauldg47 May 2015 #33

Great! I'll finally get a reality show on TLC!!! Tom_Foolery May 2015 #8

"19 Hand Spawn and Counting" Arugula Latte May 2015 #47

That's the ticket... Tom_Foolery May 2015 #59

Pat Robertson and ilk are different, how? Fred Sanders May 2015 #9

Suits instead of robes? FrodosPet May 2015 #10

The Muslim evangelicals have nicer clothes than the Christian evangelicals, very fine robes, so that is true. Fred Sanders May 2015 #11

But they both cover dark hearts FrodosPet May 2015 #16

Nobody says they are Matrosov May 2015 #46

Think I'm going to need a c section. NuclearDem May 2015 #12

How do people take religion seriously? Aerows May 2015 #13

Too many FrodosPet May 2015 #17

Damn good question. 3catwoman3 May 2015 #26

My sense of disbelief Aerows May 2015 #37

Because some of us are religious (or at least spiritual) without .... dawg May 2015 #43

Hand babies make as much sense as crackers turning into Jesus body or Muhammud riding Arugula Latte May 2015 #48

But I took the pill... TexasTowelie May 2015 #14

Son, if you masturbate, you will go blind. Hoppy May 2015 #15

So THAT'S why I need readers FrodosPet May 2015 #21

My father came into my room and caught me choking the chicken. Hoppy May 2015 #18

My response romanic May 2015 #19

Marsha! Marsh! Marsha! FrodosPet May 2015 #40

Now I want to WATCH that delivery nadinbrzezinski May 2015 #20

It's going to be like that alien delivery Art_from_Ark May 2015 #22

Dancing included? (On the spoof) nadinbrzezinski May 2015 #23

Wonder if that televangelist plans on amputating his own hands??!! oldandhappy May 2015 #24

Don't Knock Masturbation... That's Sex With Someone I Love WillyT May 2015 #25

Post removed Post removed May 2015 #27

There are some religious repukes out there that say masturbation kills potential babies Elwood P Dowd May 2015 #28

I'll give them my love gun when they pry it from my cold, dead hands FrodosPet May 2015 #32

all i can donco May 2015 #29

So, will our hands give birth to tiny humans? BlueStater May 2015 #30

"Thing" likes that idea FrodosPet May 2015 #31

Best way to curb that urge to masturbate. Elwood P Dowd May 2015 #36

That oughta do it - 3catwoman3 May 2015 #41

I think you meant "Best way to curb one's will to live." Arugula Latte May 2015 #49

wrapped up like snakes. Eleanors38 May 2015 #52

hey dad I'm over here olddots May 2015 #38

But, it's pretty hard to say it was non-consensual. Tierra_y_Libertad May 2015 #39

It is a crying shame that world religulous stupidity reserves hifiguy May 2015 #42

Renaming my hands... trumad May 2015 #44

That'll be freaky Bosonic May 2015 #45

Now that is a hand-y visual aid! Arugula Latte May 2015 #50

SATIRE ALERT. Raine1967 May 2015 #51

Poe's law is in effect Bosonic May 2015 #53

Or Raed Dog! Raine1967 May 2015 #57

Are there wire hangers in heaven? Jester Messiah May 2015 #54

Rosie Palm is knocked up? Blue Owl May 2015 #55

Well.... kcdoug1 May 2015 #56

Must be where the man-vagina resides notadmblnd May 2015 #58