What can we DU now to help TTW and Yoshi ?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

309. Me, too.

I've been following TTW's situation for a long time, and I guess I've come to the same conclusion. At some point it becomes apparent that there's nothing more that can be done. Msanthrope and Ex tried to help in person, and went far beyond what many people would do for a stranger, but their help was eventually rejected - which was not surprising. I've run into situations a bit like this - though not as dire - where I tried to help someone who was in trouble. TTW's posts and the threads that ensued had a rather familiar ring: All suggestions were rejected or ignored for one reason or another; and according to TTW people who said they would help weren't helping. I want to emphasize that I do not believe for a minute that TTW was intentionally trying to scam DU. What I do think is that she has some personal issues that make it difficult for her to have insight to what's going on and what will have to happen in order for her to stabilize her life.

The situations I encountered also involved a couple of people who wanted help but didn't want the help I offered, which involved doing some things they didn't want to do (like getting a job or counseling, for example) in order to reach their ultimate goals. They wanted their problems to be solved - right now - but because of some psychological issues they had that I was in no position to understand or deal with, they didn't want to take the incremental steps toward solving them. So when I made a suggestion that would be a step toward a solution but that did not completely solve the problem I wasn't really helping. I found I got sucked farther and farther into these people's problems that I couldn't do anything about, and eventually I wound up on their growing enemies list.

TTW desperately wants to be able to keep Yoshi. We all understand that. But she can't keep him with her unless and until she has a stable job and an income that will allow her to rent a place where they can safely live together. Unfortunately that can't happen all at once, but if she would allow Yoshi to be temporarily cared for by someone who knows how to look after his breed of dog - the rescue in NJ, for example - she could find a place to live, get a job, and stabilize her life to the point where she could take him back and care for him. Unfortunately she won't agree to those incremental steps and has become angry at the very people who tried hard to work something out for her. As I also discovered, sometimes you can't just help and have to step away. I just hope things work out for TTW, somehow.