Reply #3: The facts are what they are.. Most mothers who work outside the home [View All]

[SoCalDem]

DO feel guilty when they are not with their kids.. Every mother who is at work when her kid is sick , or even when they are well, feels the tug.. It's not abnormal.. It's just a fact..

The real tragedy is that the media, and the ever-rising cost of living has almost dictated that Moms must now work.. There was a brief time there (I was lucky..it was when my own were small), when a Mom could really choose.. Lots of Moms went to work in the 70's to earn a little extra money for the "fun stuff", and most only worked 10-20 hrs a week.. They often drifted in and out of jobs, because those jobs were not "careers".. The 80's kicked every young parent's ass.. Prices rose faster than Dad's wages, and all of a sudden, the 2nd income was necessary for the basic family needs..

More women were also college grads, and it was presented to them that they HAD to use that degree, or they would never get a chance later..That's when women started "postponing" childbearing.. That's just more guilt piled up.. If a woman who all of a sudden is 38 and has no kids decides that she now needs one, she will probably feel guilty ofr taking time off from work..

It just never ends.. Our lives opened up, but got narrower all at the smae time.. You can be all things, but just not all at the same time.. I guess you can, but you will have a hard time doing any of them well..

Professional women end up with kids who have grown up in the care of pre-schools, nannies,housekeepers & babysitters, and then they wonder why they are not "close"....The babysitter finds the first tooth, sees the first steps, cleans the scraped knees...

and then the other side is the Mom who stays home, divorces after 20 some years of marriage, and all of a sudden she needs to support herself, when she has never really worked before..

There's no "right" answer...

The hours of work are a problem too.. Way back when, jobs were 9-5 and weekends off.. The jobs people have now, often require nights and weekends, and there is rarely any time for family stuff..

I am so glad mine are grown.. I would hate to have the pressures that so many young Moms feel now..

sorry to ramble.:(