Reply #18: A swat is not a spanking [View All]

[SheilaT]

is quite true and is one of the core issues actually at stake here. Many people will include a swat within the definition of spanking, others won't.

And some kids are simply more difficult and more oppositional than others, and figuring out the best way to shape any kid's behavior is a real art.

Another subtext of these to spank or not to spank debates is the entire issue of discipline. Far too many who are enthusiastic about spanking assume that if you don't spank regularly you're not enforcing any kind of discipline or behavioral standards. It's not an all or nothing thing. Not to mention, it's possible never to lay a hand on a kid and be verbally and psychologically abusive.

As one wise friend of mine (herself the mother of three boys) once said to me, You won't destroy a kid or ruin his life with one particular episode of bad parenting on your part. I agree. "Good enough" parenting is what we all hope to achieve.