Reply #12: How 'bout if I just dissect an ad? [View All]

[Oeditpus Rex]

The hed on this ad is "Storyteller & Watchdog," which should scare away any legitimate journalist all by itself.



The Desert Sun, one of the best mid-sized community dailies in the Southwest (According to whom?), is expanding and looking for talented reporters who aspire to take their skills to the next level. (What, you mean to an actual newspaper?) We're a Gannett newspaper (We suck) in beautiful Palm Springs, a richly diverse market (Our readership base is 100 percent Republican, but some are between 60 and 65 while others are over 65) situated in California's fastest-growing county. (You're in a fucking desert. If a baby is born, it's a boom.) We have an immediate opening at one of our three new weekly editions, a key reporting spot that would be integrated in our Local News operation. (You'll have to write each story three different ways.) We're looking for energetic and talented storytellers and watchdogs (We want a kid just out of college who'll take all the crappy assignments and not complain) who can cover a broad array of stories -- from city government and local classrooms to an explosive small-business market and close-to-home community news. (You'll write five stories a day, but you'll never see a cent of overtime.) We are a multimedia-driven information company (We're a crappy paper with a crappy web site), so we'll teach you useful photo and video skills and how to post to our award-winning Web site. (We don't have any web people, so you'll do that job, too.) We're only seeking (Grammarians?) reporters who offer versatility and passion for the news. (See previous comment re kids just out of college.) We're seeking candidates with at least 18 months of daily newspaper reporting experience or two very successful daily newspaper internships. (We much prefer the latter because interns are used to getting paid squat.) We're situated just 90 minutes from the beach, two hours from San Diego/Los Angeles (Unless you hit any actual traffic; then it's a day and a half) and less than four hours from the Las Vegas strip. (But with the amount we'll work and pay you, you won't have time to go to Vegas even if you had a nickel for a slot machine.) Our valley is home to celebrities (All too old for you to have heard of), fine dining, world-class tennis, golf (more than 125 courses!) (None of which will allow you to play) and an international film festival that is one of the world’s largest. (Remember this, since you'll be writing 11 stories about it.) You also will get the chance to work in a high-energy newsroom (if you kick into the coffee fund) with experienced editors (read: burned-out hacks who can't get jobs outside Gannett) committed to teaching and helping young journalists advance their careers. (If you get coffee for them, they'll grunt at you once in awhile.) Interested? (No, just desperate.) Send resume, cover letter and examples of your work to Managing Editor/News Rick Green at [e-mail] (No relation to Linda Green, who's editor of one of the few other Gannett papers in California. Really. He isn't. We swear.)

(We don't fiddle much with those "paragraph" things, either.)