Reply #20: A Few Ideas [View All]

[tsipple]

1. Yes, you can check to see if he's a registered sex offender. I would do so discretely at this point.

2. Do not put children in a position where they are alone with the guy. (That's good practice anyway.) Make sure another adult is present. Again, that's just standard operating procedure.

3. Consider having a conversation with the person. Indicate that there may be cultural differences he should be aware of, that you (and your child) are uncomfortable with any physical contact, and ask that he observe a "no touching" rule with your child. Set a clear boundary (e.g. "no touching"), advise him of it, and explain why. (I'd simply say that you and your child feel uncomfortable, and perhaps that's due to cultural differences.)

I'm not overreacting on this one (yet). There are adults who are genuinely "grandfatherly" in the most innocent sort of way. ("It takes a village," remember?) Maybe the kid reminds him of his nephew or something.

The Halloween bit you describe (giving out dollar bills) sounds perfectly reasonable. Good for him for giving out dollar bills to the kids. (Much better than too much candy.) As for hand holding, is that shaking hands or something else? (There's a big difference, quite obviously, and there's not enough information in your description to draw a conclusion.)

Oh, one other thing. I would not start saying to the kid, "Hey, that guy's a creep. Watch out for him, and make sure he doesn't do X, Y, Z." Yes, of course there should be the standard "if anybody does *this*, say no, get out, and tell us" briefing (age-appropriate). (Probably already done.) Just don't make it person-specific.

So, in a nutshell, do all the things you should be doing anyway, monitor the situation, and consider having a polite conversation with the guy about "cultural sensitivities." (Based on your description, I would keep it there for now.) Americans do like more personal space (as you say) than almost everyone else on the planet. You could be right, or you could be wrong, but start with the civil conversation before going thermonuclear.

On edit: Mowing the lawn in his boxer shorts? Ew. OK, that's weird. That one's worth calling the cops.