Reply #129: Perhaps, though I would characterize them differently [View All]

[fishwax]

"... a symptom of the kind of women you know -- ie, those likely to be offended at a title."

I don’t think the women I know are necessarily “likely to be offended by a title.” I do think that they are, among other things, attentive to the use and politics of language and to gender inequity in the workforce and elsewhere. (That’s not to say, of course, that people who don’t object to being called girl can’t also be attentive to such things; I’m just describing people I know.) I think that “object to” and “offended by” mean different things, both denotatively and connotatively. I feel pretty confident in saying most of the women I know would generally object to (i.e., dislike, make an argument against) being called a girl (some contextual specifics, particularly involving people who are close to them, notwithstanding). I can't say with any certainty that they would be offended (being personally angered or having their feelings hurt) by it. Perhaps many would, but I think that would be more of an individual thing and depend more on context.




“But if you ask her what she's doing this weekend with her GIRLfriends, I'll bet she'd say she was having a GIRL'S night out, or getting together with the GIRLS, or...”

Well, girlfriends is different from girls, and a group of women referring to themselves as “the girls” isn’t necessarily the same as being referred to by others as girls/the girls. But, yeah, phrases like that are certainly common. I guess that’s one of those contextual exceptions.

I would even say that it’s also slightly different from addressing women as girls—were a guy to respond “have a fun girls’ night out” he might get a different reaction than if he were to respond “I hope you girls have fun,” depending on such factors as how well he knows the woman/women. I probably wouldn’t say “I hope you girls have fun” to my wife and her friends (not, for the record, because they would be likely to be offended, though depending on the friend it might suggest a familiarity that they would be uncomfortable with). I might be slightly more likely to say it to my wife and her sister/s-in-law. I wouldn’t say it to my colleagues.