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Boxerfan

Boxerfan's Journal
Boxerfan's Journal
December 31, 2015

20 years ago today.....I stopped drinking booze

Dec 31 1995....38 years old.

My family always celebrated with alcohol. And as youngins do we try to grow up early. I ended up in the hospital at 11 having my stomach pumped. I had tasted a large liquor cabinet while my Mom was away with my siblings. I settled on a bottle of Courvoisier Cognac because it hurt less to drink. Drank about 1/3 the bottle & was rushed to the hospital.

Ok just a minor glimpse of my descent... But I came from a dysfunctional family and that sowed the seeds of my illness.

I am one of the many people who just can not imbibe even a drop without going overboard. This is a genetic problem & needs to be better recognized. So the bowling pins were all set up.

Family stress & holidays-there were so many excuses to drink. I had done obvious damage to my health & social interactions. I was living on friends couches till they got tired of me.

Then I was homeless for about 4 years but I had the advantage of a part time job & a vehicle to sleep in. I managed to get a spot in a mobile home for rent & repairs. The place was a huge mess but at least I was off the street. My mother was wonderful in so many ways-and had a great public persona. But angst guilt & drama were her calling cards at home.

My 2 siblings got out as soon as it was legal-my sister before actually. I drifted in & out till she finally booted me at 30+. Can't blame her there

--
Now a slight side story but it is pertinent...

I had finally gotten a physical address & some legal crap had to be taken care of.

I had a drunk driving conviction & by coincidence my Mother was the director of the counties drinking drivers program. She forbade me to attend the required classes at her facility. I went before a judge & he forced her to take me in. But I was not allowed to tell anyone she was my Mom. One evening in class a guy came in angry. That ^%&^% B()tch blah blah blah...And I realized he was talking about my Mom. That night I went home to do the usual plow down-12 pack of generic beer & peppermint schnapps(eeewww I did that??Yep). That sonofabitch was talking about my Mom!

As I started getting drunk I had an epiphany...What he said about my Mom was factual. It wasn't just me. And more important it wasn't my fault....

And finally I got sick & tired. Sick & tired of being sick & tired. And I was seriously hung over on my birthday-Dec 31st as in today in 1995. I quit cold turkey. I had previously had people try & help me-I never listened. One issue is all the clinics would force me to stop smoking pot as well. I was not comfortable with that & went solo.


I kept the 12 pack of beer I had bought for the evening in the fridge. It stayed there for 6 months before I gave it to a friend.
I figured if I couldn't handle seeing beer there I probably shouldn't go into any store that sold beer.

I eventually became caretaker for my Mom when she was diagnosed with terminal emphysema. If I had still been drinking it would have never worked. And I am glad I was able to see it through I have no regrets there. Sadly I also learned more about my Mom's mental illness.

------------

Fast forward and today is 20 years...

I got married-had 2 girls with a wee bit of help of course. And my life is GOOD.

Still a pothead & thank god it is legal in my state. I honestly believed my pot use help me stay away from booze.

My Physician (who had seen me a few years earlier when I still drank) put it perfectly. He remarked on my improvements " I don't care that you use pot-the effects to your health a relatively benign-stopping drinking probably saved your life".

And so it did.

And my future wife would have never even looked at me in my former condition.Long story short is there is hope for even the most stubborn booze guzzler. But I had to make the choice myself & that involved personal healing. I hope anyone who has seen the wrong side of the bottle-one too many times-can take the lesson it can be done.

But you have to do it yourself-for yourself.

Happy New Years....

March 28, 2014

Knowing the problem is always necessary to find a cure...Rambling on...

I spent most of my working days with mechanical things. One of the most important lessons I learned was how to set priorities in a repair. And how to make sure you had corrected the customers concerns with whatever....

Complaint-Cause-Correction. The 3 "C's" as he called it. Rest in Peace Ken-you taught me well.

I was a service writer dealing with customers up front so this lesson was driven home in real life. And when I ditched dealing with people to work as a mechanic the same priorities were key.

I believe the same lesson relates to a lot of situations and In this case why is America doing a spiral of infighting.

From my perspective the LAST thing we discuss are the actual problems. And of course the solutions suggested are not worth a damn if you can not "see the forest for the trees". Because lets face it-what is the root of America's problems seems to be very complex.

Balderdash (I've gone and left an age tell).

It's a simple matter of getting our priorities right. WE the people...

And all the laws & complexities that we just can't change?.

More Balderdash. Go full blown FDR on them. And I'm not going to listen to it can't be done. It most certainly can because if Americans actually knew the skewed financial agreements that make Wall Street et all the biggest welfare queens of all time.

CALL THEM WHAT THEY ARE! Use the rights language because its fun & it gets them in the groin. Point out the obvious hypocrisy when & where you hear it. The term Welfare Queens is a racist blast from the past but it more aptly fits the dialogue to be frank.

And for the love of gawd or Buddha or my Spaghetti flyer when people in office break really big laws-like say the process that brought us into Iraq. There WERE laws broken & then there is the small matter of dark sites with Torture being done on such a large scale America had to admit it was SOP.

Fudge me Agness but WTF has happened to us ALL that we can not agree on the basic problem-the people in charge need to be held accountable!-Period end of freakin story!!

And the LARGE problem of what Republicans can do to America to damage us further is then pretty much solved. Anyone who has the ignorance to vote Republican deserves public shame & scorn because they are voting for a criminal organization by proxy.

Seriously-how much clout would the teahpahty have if Bushco Cheney Rummy et all had gone to jail as they damn well should have. None in a sane world so I'd say well under 30%...

And as far as Jobs...Take a page from FDR there also...

Taxes?

FDR-I'm getting tired of typing but yeah-it is just that easy. Make taxes like they were before Kennedy and your going to get a lot of gnashing and angst-but you will also get results-

And you will get what is demonstrably proven to be what is best for America.

So stop expecting anything but pabulum & diaper fillings from anyone-Even the majority of Dem's-Because they don't have the right priorities.

Promote the so called radicals like Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders and others who actually understand the nature of what is making America sick.

Because we are freaking turning blue terminal as far as I can see it. And even the good folk here at DU are fighting about-well definitely not the solution as I see it.

Because the problem-the cause of Americas ills-is hardly discussed. Its full out WAR on disinformation and frankly nambie pambie"ism" of all sorts.

We need to point out we don't need discussions we need action

On JOBS, if you can't make an argument for ending tax credits to offshore jobs-you just are not trying now are you?. because its a ridiculous example but there it is-waiting to be plucked.

We need action-On TARIFF's...This is also a no brain decision. It is not a hard argument to defend. The tariffs equalize disparity in wages & other costs such as environmental protection. These are real & true costs. Tariffs merely remove what is an unfair advantage. UNFAIR-remember the words used are important.

Obamacare...well the good news is the Republicans have soured the pot so bad the only sane sounding solution is single payer-or Medicaid for all. Tried and true information from all over the world-Duh. But really-we can't sell that one?-BALDERDASH!. If you are fighting lies & dis-information-call it LIES & DIS-INFORMATION . If you have any voice use it to best advantage-throat-jugular-go for it!!

And "Welfare"...

Again-Duh!-The corporations are the biggest welfare queens(language again) evah!!! By paying low wages & keeping working hours to a minimum corporate America makes sure that the are SUBSIDIZED by the American tax-payer. That's a fact and if you can't make that argument YOU SUCK as a politician...

(gets off the milk crate & walks away in a huff....)

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