Bill bars county employees from working with federal immigration authorities

Allegheny County Council passed a bill prohibiting county employees from cooperating with Immigration and Customs Enforcement before a packed council chamber Tuesday night with an 11-3 vote.

Moments before the vote was finalized County Council President Patrick Catena, who attended the meeting virtually and had been relatively quiet throughout the evening, said a person showed up at his house and threatened his child over the vote.

Ultimately, Mr. Catena said he was abstaining from voting on the ordinance because of those threats.

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Following the meeting, Allegheny County Executive Sara Innamorato released a statement saying that she would sign the bill shortly while reminding residents that the law does not stop ICE’s presence in the region.

First Published: March 10, 2026, 10:21 p.m.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Markwayne Mullin’s exit from the United States Senate has enabled Tommy Tuberville to emerge as the nation’s dumbest senator, a jubilant Tuberville confirmed on Monday.

“People are gonna try to cheapen this victory by saying I only got it because Waynemark (sic) left,” the Alabaman said. “But like we used to say on the football field, a win’s a win.”

“People need to realize, I had to compete with 99 other senators to win this title,” he said. “And even if you subtract Mullin, that still leaves 95.”

Tuberville said that the media had not given him “enough credit” for becoming the nation’s dumbest senator, noting, “I beat Ron Johnson.”

BlackRock, the world’s largest asset manager, saw its shares slide over 7% on Friday after the company capped withdrawals from one of its private credit funds, sending its stock to a low point not seen since May 2025.

- The firm’s stock closed down 7.2% on Friday to $955.45, continuing a string of losses that began last week.

- BlackRock shares are now down 10.7% since the start of the year, when the firm’s stock traded around the $1,085 mark.

- BlackRock’s HPS Corporate Lending Fund, which acts as a private lender for large companies, said Friday shareholders can only redeem 5% of their shares after the fund received requests to redeem 9.3% of its shares in its latest quarter.

- The total value of the shares requested would have been around $1.2 billion, according to Bloomberg, which noted investors will receive about $620 million held by HPS by year’s end.

- Major private credit funds are experiencing heightened levels of redemption requests lately as investors have become increasingly concerned about limits on redemptions and their ability to exit their positions.

This is a developing story. Check back for updates.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Since being nominated to replace Kristi Noem as head of DHS on Thursday, Senator Markwayne Mullin has suddenly found himself romantically linked to her former chief of staff, Corey Lewandowski.

After receiving a barrage of late-night texts from Lewandowski, a flustered Mullin reportedly told associates, “This isn’t what I signed up for.”

At the White House, Donald J. Trump said that Mullin needs to give the relationship with Lewandowski “some time,” adding, “Corey can be a little rough around the edges, but Markwayne will learn to love him.”