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Top 10 Conservative Idiots: The Complete Second Season: The Election From Hell / Trump Begins

Top 10 Conservative Idiots: The Complete Second Season: The Election From Hell / Trump Begins

Season 1: https://www.democraticunderground.com/1016169212

Well, we survived the unexpected results of the election and Donald Trump’s first 100 days. Which might seem like it takes place in dog years because in those 100 days, I feel like I am now 72 years old with all the stress of the news, the fear of nuclear war, Trump’s tax returns, and all the other crazy shit we’ve had to endure since the election. And whether or not we make it to the four years or even the midterms remains to be seen. So with that in mind, enjoy the 24 editions that make up Season 2 of the Top 10 Conservative Idiots. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

Edition #2-1: The Election From Hell: Drain The Swamp Edition (11/16/16)

Donald Trump survives the election to become the 45th president of the United States. We add him to the list of “People Who Somehow Got Elected”. We also take a look at Melania Trump’s stance on cyber bullying and the real losers of this election – Curt Schilling and Alex Jones. Plus we talk about Donald Trump’s enemies list and ask: “Who Did Taylor Swift Vote For”?
Live Musical Guest: Gogol Bordello

Edition #2-2: The Election From Hell: The Room Where It Happened Edition (11/23/16)

Mike Pence gets booed while attending a performance of Hamilton on Broadway. Donald Trump blasts the media behind closed doors, while whining once again about how Alec Baldwin is being a big meanie head. We reveal what happens when you protest against Trump, and talk about Trump supporters failing at boycotts. We also recap the incident at Adam Yauch Park and open up the Top 10 Shopping Network with suggestions from Gwenyth Paltrow’s GOOP gift guide.
Live Musical Guest: Sixx A.M.

Edition #2-3: The Election From Hell: Wheel Of Corruption (Or The Unexpected Virtue Of Ignorance Edition) (11/30/16)

Donald Trump celebrates Thanksgiving in the most Donald Trump way possible. We talk about Donald Trump’s latest cabinet hires and discuss his possible business conflict of interest. We also do some fact checking into memes being passed around by deplorables. We ask: The Electoral College – How Is This Still A Thing? White supremacists are going batshit crazy in lots of public places and situations over Donald Trump’s win. Plus we take a look at who’s going to be the musical guest of honor at Donald Trump’s inauguration.
Live Music al Guest: Florence & The Machine

Edition #2-4: The Election From Hell: The Art Of The No Deal Edition (1-Year Anniversary) (12/7/16)

A fake news story turns into a real problem when a gunman does some “investigating” of his own at a DC pizza parlor and it backfires on him big time. Donald Trump throws out 40 years of diplomatic relations between Taiwan and China. Breitbart declares war on big cereal after Kellogg’s pulls their advertising. Sears is going for broke. In Minneapolis, Donald Trump’s brown shirts fire back at the Mall Of America for hiring a black veteran as it’s new Santa. We talk about The Trump Effect and teach you how to talk to your relatives during the holidays.
Live Music al Guest: Puscifer

Edition #2-5: The Election From Hell: Treason Is The Reason For The Season Edition (12/14/16)

Allegations are coming fast that Donald Trump may have committed some light treason by encouraging the Russians to hack the vote during his campaign. We go through Donald Trump’s cabinet picks including Rex Tillerson, the former Exxon CEO who has way too much at stake in dealing with Russia, Steven Mnuchin, a former Goldman Sachs employee who kicked an elderly woman out of her home for 27 cents, and former Carl’s Jr. CEO Andrew Puzder. Plus we ask “The Family Research Council: How is this still a thing?” and continue our lecture series on how to talk to your conservative relatives about Trump.
Live Music al Guest: Dropkick Murphys

Edition #2-6: The Election From Hell: Wheel Of Corruption And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull Edition (12/21/16)

For our final act of the horrendous year that was 2016, we bring back the Wheel Of Corruption. Donald Trump starts a diplomatic war with China when Chinese intelligence finds a US drone in the South China Sea, and throws the US intelligence community under the bus. Bill O’Reilly accidentally reveals the secret White Supremacist agenda. Betsy DeVos profits off the Flint toxic water crisis. A planned inauguration party backfires on the organizers after they forgot to file a permit. Plus we recap all the strange and weird stories of 2016.
Live Music al Guest: Weezer

Edition #2-7: The Election From Hell: Donald Trump’s A Series Of Unfortunate Events Edition (1/4/2017)

With our first edition of 2017, we find out that white supremacist website Daily Stormer has been blurring the line from white supremacist blog to full blown domestic terrorist group. The GOP Congress wants to gut the Senate Ethics Committee. Donald Trump hangs with mobsters at his New Year’s Eve bash, flirts with nuclear war, and provokes Kim Jong Un. Fox News gets caught spewing misinformation, and we are not surprised. We ask: “The War On Christmas: How Is This Still A Thing?”. We introduce you to a creepy Starbucks customer in Washington. And we continue our lecture series “How To Talk About Trump For Dummies” with Chapter 8, 9, and 10 Part 1.
Live Musical Guest: Tiger Army

Edition #2-8: The Election From Hell: Donald Trump In: Goldmember Edition (1/11/2017)

The CIA drops the big one as a dossier is uncovered that has Donald Trump in a pickle over some very perverted sex acts. Donald Trump gets in a Twitter beef with Arnold Schwarzenegger over ratings for the Celebrity Apprentice, and picks a fight with Meryl Streep over her Golden Globes acceptance speech. We recap a horrific kidnapping and torture episode in Chicago. Bo Bice hilariously claims a case of reverse racism while dining at the Popeye’s chicken at the Atlanta airport. We add Kansas governor Sam Brownback to the list of “People Who Somehow Got Elected”. Alex Jones attempts to profit off a mass shooting. Plus, we go back to our ongoing lecture series “How To Talk About Trump For Dummies” and cover Chapter 10 Pt 2, Chapter 11, and Chapter 12.
Live Musical Guest: Fitz & The Tantrums

Edition #2-9: The Election From Hell: Wall Of Meat Edition (1/18/17)

With just two days to go to the inauguration, Donald Trump infuriates Georgia representative John Lewis while supposedly celebrating Martin Luther King Day. We kick Donald Trump to the curb when talking about his poll numbers, and talk about who’s in and who’s out for the inauguration festivities. We introduce you to Trump’s hall monitor security for the event. The Bathroom Police are back and more evil than ever when it comes to trans rights. The guy Trump picked to head the Health & Human Services Dept was busted for ethics violations. The San Diego Chargers move to Los Angeles, but they’re not exactly welcome. Plus we conclude our 5 part lecture series “How To Talk About Trump For Dummies” with dictator comparisons, the conclusion, and a final exam.
Live Musical Guest: Against Me

Edition #2-10: Trump Begins: Just The Alternative Facts, Ma’am Edition (1/25/17)

Donald Trump is inaugurated as the 45th president of the United States, but the inauguration, as well as his first day, are proving to be complete disasters. Giant protests are held across the United States and the world in support of women’s rights and against Donald Trump. Kellyanne Conway dishes out some “alternative facts” instead of real ones. Sean Spicer gets in a feud with the makers of Dippin’ Dots foods. We profile Dan Patrick and his support of an insane anti-trans bathroom bill in “People Who Somehow Got Elected”. France’s Marine La Pen channels her inner Trump. Betsy DeVos says we need guns in school to protect from bears. Dinesh D’Souza cleans up big at the Razzies. Plus we kick off our quest to find the Stupidest State and in the first round it’s Alabama vs. Arkansas in a Family Values faceoff.
Live Musical Guest: Childish Gambino

Edition #2-11: Trump Begins: 2.5 Minutes To Midnight Edition (2/1/17)

We discuss Donald Trump’s Muslim ban heavily, while talking about the protests breaking out at our country’s airports and embassies around the world. We talk about the firing of acting attorney general Sally Yates. Meanwhile, Kellyanne Conway complains she hasn’t slept in a year and Donald Trump takes just 8 days to reach the below 50% barrier. Meanwhile, it’s revealed that Steve Bannon runs a shadow government for real, and Trump can’t stop taunting Schumer, Graham, and McCain. Plus the Insane Clown Posse plans their own march on Washington DC. And we end by taking another look at our Stupidest State contest – this time pairing regional rivals Michigan against Wisconsin in a battle for fiscal irresponsibility supremacy.
Live Musical Guest: Avenged Sevenfold

Edition #2-12: Trump Begins: Remember The Bowling Green Massacre Edition (2/8/17)

In a rare Top 10 move, we rescind a week off to trash Kellyanne Conway’s justification of Trump’s unconstitutional Muslim ban with a fake terrorist attack that never happened. Trump also manages to piss off most of our allies in a span of a few hours, while he hosts what could quite possibly be the worst Super Bowl party ever. We also trash professional troll Milo Yinnapolous after his recent stint at UC Berkeley with fellow professional troll Martin Shkreli results in riots. Sean Spicer is the subject of an epic Melissa McCarthy sketch on SNL. Alex Jones thinks Lady Gaga’s halftime show is part of an illuminati mind control plot. We delve into the world of food and talk about a possible bacon shortage, while Hooters debuts a bizarre new restaurant concept. Finally, we continue our Stupidest State contest and head to the Gun Nut Conference, where Arizona’s border patrol takes on Montana’s white supremacists.
Live Musical Guest: Slightly Stoopid

Edition #2-13: Trump Begins: Your Friendly Neighborhood Nuclear Football Guy Edition (2/16/17)

Trump’s top advisor Michael Flynn may have committed some light treason. Donald Trump discusses national security measures in public while meeting with the Japanese Prime Minister at Mar-A-Lago in Florida. Trump also flip flops multiple times on things he said not even 3 weeks ago. We also talk about the Trump – Nordstrom feud. Alex Jones blows a gasket when a coup happens at the White House (not really) and Jennifer Lopez speaks out at the Grammys. Plus we also talk sports when Robert Kraft and Tom Brady of the world champion New England Patriots weigh in on who should visit the White House during their victory celebration. The New York Knicks are in a feud between a current player and a former player. Plus we head to the next round of our Stupidest State contest where juggernauts Kentucky and Texas make a run for the undisputed king of the Batshit Conference.
Live Musical Guest: A Tribe Called Quest

Edition #2-14: Trump Begins: Wheel Of Corruption’s Home For Peculiar Children Edition (3/1/17)

Milo Yinnapolous rises high and falls completely flat on his face after he defends the one grey area conservatives and liberals can agree you don’t go there – child molestation. We recap the Conservative Political Action Conference the Idiots way! Trump rescinds Obama’s executive order on trans people being able to choose their bathroom. Louis Gohmert gives a shockingly stupid reason why he’s avoiding town halls. Jason Alexander trolls H.R. McMaster’s use of a Seinfeld clip in his acceptance speech. Donald Trump plays golf, and beats the war machine going into Iran, while at home he makes the claim for military superiority. We talk about more hate crimes being committed in Trump’s name. Plus we continue our quest to find America’s Stupidest State where last year’s Layover League champion Florida is defending their title against hot newcomer Maine.
Live Musical Guest: Dropkick Murphys

Edition #2-15: Trump Begins: Nothing Burger With A Side Of Treason Edition (3/8/17)

Jeff Sessions admits that he may have committed some light treason by using state funds to meet with Russian ambassadors during the campaign. Mike Pence’s AOL e-mail account was used for state business and got hacked. Donald Trump goes on a Twitter rampage accusing Obama of wire tapping his phone during the campaign. Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. spend taxpayer money to open a new hotel in Dubai – a Muslim country. Roger Stone goes off on a misogynistic tirade aimed at one of his key critics. We add Mark Chelgren to the list of “People Who Somehow Got Elected”. Garfield the Cat is the subject of an insane Wikipedia battle. We talk about Trump fans destroying Jewish cemeteries. Plus we conclude with another round of our Stupidest State Contest, this time pitting regional rivals Tennessee and North Carolina in a Family Values faceoff to face Alabama in the conference championships.
Live Musical Guest: Deftones

Edition #2-16: Trump Begins: Wheel Of Corruption’s Long Halftime Walk Edition (3/15/17)

Congressional Republicans go nuclear in their quest to overturn Obama’s ACA and replace it with a far more sinister and ultra corrupt version – the AHCA. Steve King gets caught saying something racist. Donald Trump fires DOJ prosecuter Preet Bharara. We delve into the myths vs reality surrounding Donald Trump’s positions on health care. KellyAnne Conway believes that microwaves can turn into cameras. Trump Supporters go full Hilter at a rally in Phoenix, Arizona. We add Dana Rohrabacher to our growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected, and ask The Christian Persecution Complex: How Is This Still A Thing? Plus we talk about whether o r not former pro football player Arian Foster could fight a wolf, and we take in another round of our Stupidest State Contest – this time pitting a central shoot out with Missouri taking on South Carolina.
Live Musical Guest: The Shins

Edition #2-17: Trump Begins: The Worst Day Since Yesterday Edition (3/22/17)

We talk about Donald Trump’s meeting with German Chancellor Angela Merkel. Trump also threatens a nuclear war with North Korea, and has his worst day ever when the FBI grills him about Russian involvement in the election. Ann Coulter makes a bizarre claim about the Russians and the 1980 “Miracle On Ice” team. Sean Hannitys’ past catches up to haunt him. Donald Trump Supporters are experiencing cases of buyer’s remorse. Meanwhile, Paul Ryan talks about a bizarre fantasy he had in college during his wild “kegger days”, and there ain’t no party like a Paul Ryan party! The Trump effect is in full swing with a pair of extremely horrible and unrelated incidents in New York City. We ask – “The Flat Earth Society”: How is this still a thing? Plus we take in the final matchup of round 1 in our Stupidest State contest – Kansas Vs New Jersey in a battle for fiscal irresponsibility supremacy.
Live Musical Guest: Milky Chance

Edition #2-18: Trump Begins: Paul Ryan’s Long White House March Edition (3/29/17)

Paul Ryan takes the long march White House to tell a very angry Trump that the ACHA not only failed, it failed bigly. Trump’s SCOTUS nominee Neil Gorsuch gets grilled by Al Franken. While the world burns around him, Trump spends yet another weekend at yet another Trump property. We open up the Top 10 Home Shopping Network to troll the Trump sons Uday and Qusay. Mike Huckabee gets roasted when his Twitter feed proves to be a gigantic disaster. Devin Nunes gets caught in a lie about spying. Fox News gets caught in a lie about what Trump did last weekend. Pizzagate is sadly, still a thing. One Million Moms tries their hand at a “gay free” animated series. And we end with the next round of our stupidest state contest with the first conference championship where #1 Florida takes on #4 Texas.
Live Musical Guest: Clutch

Edition #2-19: Trump Begins: In Like Flynn Edition (4/5/17)

In what seems like a bad spy movie come to life, Michael Flynn goes rogue and attempts to sell out his boss in an effort to get immunity. The GOP tries to sell your browser history to the highest bidder and fails at that. We channel the late great Rodney Dangerfield when Trump goes on his latest angry 3:00 AM tweet storm. Trump is the first president in 107 years not to throw the first pitch out at a MLB home opener. The Bathroom Police are back and eroding the freedoms of LGBT Americans at an alarming rate, while we mention the worst party bus ever. Mike Pence gets caught with his sexist pants down – both literally and figuratively. We tell you about an exciting vacation opportunity. Plus the next round of our Stupidest State Contest – Alabama squares off against Tennessee for the Family Values Conference Championship.
Live Musical Guest: Violent Femmes

Edition #2-20: Trump Begins: You Dropped A Bomb On Me Edition (4/19/17)

Donald Trump literally plays with fire as he launches nukes, but then forgets what country he just bombed! Meanwhile, Trump’s precious Mar-A-Lago resort is one of the unhealthiest restaurants in the country as it fails to meet health inspection requirements. A new group called “Antifa” emerged during tax day protests at UC Berkeley. United Airlines continues to shoot itself in the foot over passengers getting booted from planes. The Joker talks to Alex Jones about what’s real and what isn’t. Mike Cernovich gets punched in the face at Berkeley. Bill O’Reilly is close to getting fired from Fox News after outrageous sexual harassment claims. We tell you about fun events to attend on 4/20 while gently reminding you not to be a dick. Plus we have the next round of our Stupidest State Contest – Michigan Vs. Kansas in the battle for Fiscal Irresponsibility superiority.
Live Musical Guest: Iration

Edition #2-21: Trump Begins: Wheel Of Corruption: Skull Island Edition (4/26/17)

The Wheel Of Corruption is back. We use it to pay tribute to Bill O’Reilly and the long-awaited end of the O’Reilly Factor. Jason Chaffetz goes rogue like a bad spy movie. We talk about Donald Trump’s first 100 days and all the “winning” he’s done. Trump invites some extremely cringe-worthy dinner guests to the White House and some terrible photo opportunities ensue. We recap Trump’s insane AP interview where ½ of it is “(unintelligible)”. Steve King gets added to the list of “People Who Somehow Got Elected”. Alex Jones admits to smoking rather potent strains of weed. Ann Coulter fights for her right for free speech at UC Berkeley. We get a sugar high off Starbucks’ latest insane creation. Plus the next round of our Stupidest State Contest – where Missouri brings their big guns against Montana in a battle for Gun Nut supremacy. Or white supremacy! Hey o!
Live Musical Guest: Dreamcar

Edition #2-22: Trump Begins: Argo FOAK Yourselves Edition (5/3/17)

Trump calls murderous dictator Rodrigo Dutuerte and gets basic American history wrong. Meanwhile, on the eve of Trump’s first WHCD, Trump instead appears in Pennsylvania and gives the most divisive speech in history by a sitting president. Reince Preibus wants to do away with the first amendment to be able to sue news organizations for slander. Mike Enzi makes a terrible analogy about guys wearing tutus in bars and sparks creative protest. We hold an intervention for the NRA in regards to their addiction to guns and reckless disregard for the 2nd Amendment. We introduce you to a new protest group calling themselves “The Proud Boys”. Scott Baio makes some insensitive remarks about his former TV costar in the wake of her death. A large bunny rabbit dies on a United Airlines flight. We talk about the epic disaster that was the Fyre Festival. And the next round of our Stupidest State contest explores the Layover League Championship: Texas vs. Kansas by talking about the influence that the Koch Brothers and the Tea Party have wrecked on these states.
Live Musical Guest: Mastodon

Edition #2-23: Trump Begins; Aint No Party Like A GOP Party Edition (5/10/17)

The GOP passes Trump’s insane health care bill in the House, but prematurely celebrates when they have a booze-filled party in DC before realizing what they have done to the American people – and voted without reading the bill. We introduce our new character “Trumpy The Fake News Parrot” while talking about Trump and Michael Flynn. Trump might be on drugs. We play a new game called “Fundies Say The Darndest Things”. Trump supporters take their fight to Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Kimmel – for completely different reasons. Eric Trump might be the biggest moron on the planet. Marine LaPen wins “The Biggest Loser”. Eminem sues New Zealand’s ruling party over his hit “Lose Yourself”. And the next to last round of our Stupidest State contest takes on the subject of Doomsday Prepping when Montana meets Tennessee in the Flyover League championship.
Live Musical Guest: Cold War Kids

Edition #2-24: Trump Begins: Swamping The Drain Edition (5/17/17)

Season Finale: In the season finale – we destroy the theory that Trump coined the phrase “Prime The Pump”. We also recap the Comey firing and the FBI raiding an Annapolis headquarters of a GOP fundraising firm. We put Kim Jong Un and Trump in a UFC Octagon in order to settle their scores once and for all. Trump gave a commencement address at Liberty University and invokes a scary subject – Christian nationalism. Richard Spencer gives a glimpse of what an actual Nazi rally might looks like. In India, Justin Bieber’s first tour is a complete disaster. We ask – “The Sovereign Citizens Movement: How Is This Still A Thing?”. And we finally crown the winner of our Stupidest State Contest. Who will it be – Montana or Texas? The winner will take home the coveted trophy.
Live Musical Guest: George Clinton

Top 10 Conservative Idiots season 3 debuts June 7th! See you then!

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #2-24: Swamping The Drain Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #2-24: Swamping The Drain Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Be sure to join our rewards program for some exciting benefits! What those are, even we don't really know! Traveling sucks anymore, right? Hey you know we here at the Top 10 predicted the future! Whew!!! Whew!!!!!!! Whew. In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, I refer you to Idiots #2-16. Which was a mere month and a half ago. But in Trump years, it feels like a fucking eternity! Thank you. But in Idiots #2-16, I said “But the GOP plan is like flying Spirit or Allegiant Airlines - it's going to cost a hell of a lot more for a really shitty product, you have to pay to check everything, there's no TVs and a big fat guy sitting next to you, you know where you're going sucks, and you'll probably wind up fighting someone by the time its' all over.”. Now how does that predict the future? Well….

YAYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I did it! I predicted the future, ladies and gentlemen! Thank you very much! Now to go buy lottery tickets tonight. But the whole reason you fly United and American is so that you don’t fly Spirit or Frontier. Because shit like this happens. This is one of those “wanna get away” type of things. But when you work for an airline and fisticuffs are being thrown about, who do you take when you go on vacation? Amtrak? Or do you just say “fuck it” and drive cross country? And since I was able to successfully predict the future, can I predict that my Anaheim Ducks will win the Stanley Cup? Or will the Angels win the world series? Well that’s enough of the intro this week. But first John Oliver is back, and he destroys American dialysis provider DaVita:

We’ve got a lot of Trump this week folks. Donald Trump ( 1- 6) is going to take ½ the edition this week. Yes, he is occupying not one, not two, not 3, but a whopping 6, yes 6 slots. In the first slot, is of course the 800 pound gorilla in the room which is the firing of James Comey. Why did he do it? What is he hiding? Well it could have something to do with what’s behind door number 2 – the FBI raiding a GOP polling place in Annapolis, Maryland looking for some hardcore evidence in the Trump – Russia debacle. Taking the third slot, we have to talk about Donald Trump (3) and his commencement speech at Liberty University. It was completely batshit fucking crazy – and if you guessed he invoked Christian nationalism – you are correct! In the number 4 slot, I hate to tell you folks, we're all gonna die. Because when you put two out of control man babies who want their ass kissed 100% with nuclear launch codes, and hate differing opinions from theirs, what could go wrong? I'm of course talking about Donald J. Trump vs Kim Jong Un (4). We're going to put them in a UFC Octagon for the title fight. In the number 5 slot, we’re going to lighten things up and talk about Trump’s (5) diet – or complete lack thereof. I don’t know if you saw Bill Maher last week but he unloaded on Trump for being a fat fuck. In the number six slot, we have to talk about how Trump (6) coined the phrase “Prime The Pump”. But like most things Trump says and does – it’s not fucking true! At number 7, we’re going to do another installment of “How Is This Still A Thing”, and we’re going to ask – “Soverign citizens: How is this still a thing?”. Taking the 8th slot, Richard Spencer (8) gave America its’ first glimpse of what an actual Nazi rally would look like. Oh did I say Nazi? I meant “alt right”! No? Well neither are we! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!!) slot, we have another installment of “I Need A Drink”, and we have to talk about Justin Beiber. I don’t want to talk about Justin Beiber, but when there’s something in the news that is this batshit insane, we can’t ignore it. It’s about his India tour, and whew, Justin, keep doing what you’re doing. And finally this week – this is it! This is the end! It is finally here! This week, we will finally crown the winner of our Stupidest State contest! It’s come down to this – Montana. Texas. The winner will receive DeLay Trophy – the Head Up The Ass trophy as awarded by the NFFSA! Named of course after legendary coach Tom DeLay who took Texas to a whopping 5 titles during the Bush administration. And they were engaged in a friendly rivalry with Rick Santorum, who led Pennsylvania to 3 titles during that dark time in our country. Of course those days are long over and Texas is hoping to regain its’ former glory. Will they do it tonight? After the match, we will have the press conferences, the coaches’ statements, the presentation of the trophy - and of course we will end by singing that song we all know and love, and have the locker room champagne popping. And to close out the season, a little band called Funkadelic will be joining us for the after party! Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[font size="8"]Comey: You’re Fired[/font]

You know if Donald Trump thinks that Stephen Colbert is “no talent”, wait until he gets a hold of this show! I mean we’ve only been calling him an idiot since the Top 10 reboot was founded! But that’s beside the point. So Republicans, we’re more than 120 days into the Trump administration, how’s that whole “drain the swamp” thing going? You’re not draining the swamp. You’re swamping the drain! And… thank you! But you can’t drain the swamp if the drain was clogged to begin with! I’m of course talking about the Comey firing. James Comey…. You’re fired! And while that may seem like it’d be a reason for us to celebrate, most of us here aren’t exactly celebrating.

President Trump has fired FBI Director James Comey, the White House announced Tuesday afternoon.

Trump fired Comey based on the recommendation of Attorney General Jeff Sessions and his deputy, Rod Rosenstein, White House press secretary Sean Spicer told reporters.

“While I greatly appreciate you informing me, on three separate occasions, that I am not under investigation, I nevertheless concur with the judgment of the Department of Justice that you are not able to lead the bureau,” Trump wrote in a letter to Comey dated Tuesday.

“It is essential that we find new leadership for the FBI that restores public trust and confidence in its vital law enforcement mission,” the president wrote.

In a statement on Comey's firing released by the White House, Trump called the FBI "one of our Nation’s most cherished and respected institutions," adding, "today will mark a new beginning for our crown jewel of law enforcement."

But don’t celebrate just yet, liberals and Trump haters! The excuse for Trump firing Comey was quite literally insane. It would be like if I were getting pulled over for a DUI, and I fired the arresting officer for giving me a pat down. But here’s my favorite excuse for why Trump fired Comey:

The American people — not to mention the credibility of the world’s oldest democracy — require a thorough, impartial investigation into the extent of Russia’s meddling with the 2016 presidential election on behalf of Donald Trump and, crucially, whether high-ranking members of Mr. Trump’s campaign colluded in that effort.

By firing the F.B.I. director, James Comey, late Tuesday afternoon, President Trump has cast grave doubt on the viability of any further investigation into what could be one of the biggest political scandals in the country’s history.

The explanation for this shocking move — that Mr. Comey’s bungling of the investigation into Hillary Clinton’s private email server violated longstanding Justice Department policy and profoundly damaged public trust in the agency — is impossible to take at face value. Certainly Mr. Comey deserves all the criticism heaped upon him for his repeated missteps in that case, but just as certainly, that’s not the reason Mr. Trump fired him.

Mr. Trump had nothing but praise for Mr. Comey when, in the final days of the presidential campaign, he informed Congress that the bureau was reopening the investigation into Mrs. Clinton’s emails. “He brought back his reputation,” Mr. Trump said at the time. “It took a lot of guts.”

Of course, if Mr. Trump truly believed, as he said in his letter of dismissal, that Mr. Comey had undermined “public trust and confidence” in the agency, he could just as well have fired him on his first day in office.

OK... OK… OK… OK… OK… OK… OK. OK. Let me see if I can get this straight. Trump fired Comey because he was “mean” to Hillary Clinton by releasing that letter which many claim was the reason why Hillary’s campaign tanked in the last few days of the campaign leading to Trump’s stunning victory. But here’s the weird thing – so Trump himself contradicted his own reasoning for firing Comey, in fact he praised Comey during the election. Gee, I wonder why?

President Trump praised FBI Director James Comey's "guts" for renewing an investigation into Hillary Clinton, seven months before firing him for mishandling the situation.

In the Oct. 31 remarks, Trump, who had previously criticized Comey for not bringing charges against Clinton, said he had to give the FBI credit.

"That was so bad what happened originally, and it took guts for Director Comey to make the move that he made in light of the kind of opposition he had where they’re trying to protect her from criminal prosecution," Trump said at a Michigan campaign rally.

"It took a lot of guts."

Trump on Tuesday shocked many by firing Comey.

He said the FBI director had mishandled the investigation into Clinton's use of a private email server as secretary of State — despite his previous praise.

I could so picture Trump doing that in real life. After all, the man has no sense of humor whatsoever. He’s like a black hole for logic, reason, humor, subconscious – everything that makes normal human beings human. But you have to be a cold-hearted asshole to be a republican, am I right about that? And if you want to believe that Trump isn’t capable of being human, here’s what the actual FBI had to say about the Comey firing:

The news of FBI director James Comey’s firing struck like a thunderclap at field offices around the country, where agents heard first from TV or the internet that their boss had been dismissed by President Donald J. Trump.

“I’m literally in tears right now. That’s all I have to say,” said a longtime special agent who’s known and worked with Comey for years, who first heard the news on the car radio.

By Tuesday evening, the shock that initially spread throughout the ranks of current and former FBI officials was mixed with a growing sense of anger among the many Comey loyalists in the bureau, and demands for answers as to why the director had been fired – and why now.

“We just have no idea why this happened. No idea,” said one recently retired top FBI official who worked closely with Comey on multiple high-profile investigations. “No one knew this was coming. Everyone is just shocked that this happened.”

Read more: http://www.politico.com/story/2017/05/09/omey-firing-fbi-tears-238190?lo=ap_b2

We’re not popping the champagne, this is more like the shit hitting the fan!

Thank you! And in case you’re wondering how low they can go, well, there’s no low. The bar has been lowered to the bottom of the Marianus Trench, and if you don’t know earth geography, that’s pretty fucking low! But it gets lower:

The one-page sheet circulated by the White House contained four stories, most of them about Democrats criticizing Comey's decision to disclose developments in the investigation into Hillary Clinton's use of a private email server.

One of the clips was a Wall Street Journal editorial calling for Comey's resignation because "he has lost the trust of nearly everyone in Washington, along with every American who believes the FBI must maintain its reputation as a politically impartial federal agency."

The story selection, and the release itself, added confusion to the circumstances surrounding his firing, given that President Trump frequently cheered Clinton's email woes when he ran against her in 2016.

We need to get the bar back! Where’s James Cameron when you need him?

[font size="8"]The Annapolis Raid[/font]

I love that Trump said this this week, and I think we might need some Sad Hulk Music and the world's tiniest violin to go with it:


Trump: "No politician in history has been treated worse or more unfairly" than me

Toward the end of his address, Trump alluded to the turmoil unfolding in Washington right now.

"Over the course of your life you will find that things are not always fair," Trump told the cadets. "Things happen to you that are not always warranted."

“"But you have to put your head down and fight, fight, fight," Trump said.”

Though he didn't directly address the Comey fallout, he said "no politician in history has been treated worse or more unfairly" than him.

But, he added, "things will work out just fine."

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... Trump has a sad!!! So maybe the FBI raid had something to do with this. While we were all terrified and shocked over the firing of Trump, the FBI did this to a polling office in Annapolis last week:

In a less agitated nation, a story about an FBI raid on the Annapolis office of a Republican political consulting firm might not cause much of a media buzz.

But in a nation where the FBI director has just been fired amid conflicting explanations from the president and a White House communications team that seems in chaos, that report blew up on social media Thursday.

The story drew half a million page views on baltimoresun.com in less than a day. But what was most revealing was that much of the social media discussion tied the raid to the firing of FBI Director James Comey and the agency's investigation into links between Russia and members of Donald Trump's administration.

Thank you Officer Barbrady! Yes, current president, and original Boss Baby, Donald Trump was in a bit of a fiery rage last week, and that is 100% pure Donald Trump. Of course he tried to pass it off as big meanie Comey was mishandling the investigation into Hillary Clinton’s use of a private e-mail server handling official state business. Yeah , excuse me a minute. *COUGH* Bullshit. *COUGH* Bullshit *COUGH* Bullshit. I’m sure it has nothing to do with this.

ANNAPOLIS, Md. — FBI agents raided the office of a Republican consulting firm in Maryland on Thursday in connection with an investigation into the 2013 Virginia governor’s race.

The FBI confirmed it served a search warrant in Annapolis, Maryland, but declined to elaborate. Kelley Rogers, president of Strategic Campaign Group, told reporters the investigation relates to work the consultant did for former Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli, the GOP’s 2013 gubernatorial candidate.

Rogers told reporters that his firm settled a lawsuit brought by the Cuccinelli campaign after he lost the governor’s race to Democrat Terry McAuliffe. Roger said the investigation appears to have stemmed from allegations in that lawsuit.

Yes, please disperse. But oh this is just the beginning . We’re not done with the raids and investigations into illegal fundraising practices by the GOP just yet.

In the wake of Donald Trump’s firing of FBI Director James Comey to try to sabotage the Trump-Russia investigation, a number of political insiders predicted last night that the FBI would strike back in a major way today (link). Sure enough, the FBI just raided a GOP fundraising firm in Annapolis (link). But word is now that this is just one of numerous Trump-Russia warrants that are being executed.

One of the insiders whose sources correctly pointed to today’s FBI action is Democratic insider Claude Taylor. In the wake of the Annapolis raid, he’s now sharing the following: “Source in legal community reports large number of Warrants from Eastern District of Virginia being executed. By the FBI. Source reports frenzy of activity inside the EDVA, large number of agents, US Marshals. The battle has been joined” (link). He goes on to add more details about the goings-on at the Eastern District Court of Virginia, which Comey recently confirmed is working with the FBI on the Trump-Russia investigation.

Unfortunately Jedi mind tricks don’t work in real life. Because otherwise the GOP would be pulling them day in and day out. But what are they hiding? Could they be hiding this? Let’s link the Comey firing and the Annapolis raid together, because the real shit is about to hit the fan, and shit is about to get very, very real here.

MSNBC’s Joe Scarborough believes President Donald Trump fired FBI director James Comey because he sensed the investigation was getting close to revealing whatever criminal actions he’s trying to hide.

The “Morning Joe” host compared the situation to the Showtime series “Billions,” which depicts a U.S. attorney pursuing a hedge fund billionaire named Bobby Axelrod, and he said the FBI had found strong evidence against Trump and his associates.

“The FBI has started pulling that string, and they are still pulling that string where it leads is not just an election issue, it is a criminal issue — and Trump knows that,” Scarborough said.

John Heilemann, the co-managing editor of Bloomberg Politics and an MSNBC political analyst, agreed that Comey’s firing was not an irrational action or a political miscalculation, but rather an effort to stop or slow the FBI investigation into his ties to Russia.

Oh and what does Trump himself have to say about this?


But here’s my favorite Tweet from the last few days. You know last week, we introduced our new character and now official mascot of the Top 10 – Trumpy, the Fake News Parrot. Come on out here, Trumpy!



But oddly silent in all of this is Senate Majority Leader, and guy who looks like he owns your local furniture store that is going out of business, Mitch McConnell. Hey Mitch, you’re not helping, and you’re also part of the problem!

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell on Tuesday said Congress could do with fewer presidential distractions amid reports of U.S. President Donald Trump’s disclosure of intelligence information to Russia and the White House’s subsequent rebuttal.

“We could do with a little less drama from the White House on a lot of things so we can focus on our agenda, which is deregulation, tax reform and repealing and replacing Obamacare,” the top Senate Republican said in an interview with Bloomberg Television.


[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

So this week people graduated from all over the country, I hope to be included in that class at some point. But of course with the graduates comes good and bad. There’s the good – like Will Ferrell’s hilarious commencement speech from USC:

I love when Mr. Ferrell (or Dr. Ferrell) said that he still owes money to Trump University. Classic. And then there’s Liberty University and Donald J. Trump was the commencement speaker. And if you guessed it was all about himself, you are 100% correct! Let’s roll the tape first.

LYNCHBURG, Va. — President Donald Trump wasn't in Washington, but the politics the nation's capital embodies wasn't far from his mind after a week of uproar engulfing his administration.

While addressing graduates at Liberty University on Saturday in his first commencement address as president, Trump repeatedly lashed out at Washington — urging graduates to challenge the establishment and stand firm in their convictions.

"We don't need a lecture from Washington on how to lead our lives," Trump told the packed stadium of thousands at the nation's largest Christian college, saying that he's seen "how the system is broken" in D.C. and populated by individuals "who think they know everything."

"But you aren't going to let other people tell you what you believe, especially when you know that you're right," Trump said.

"In America, we don't worship government," he added. "We worship God."

Yes this is making insanely good sense. Let’s deconstruct this for a minute. Since when did Trump get baptized? And who worships the government? What the fuck does that even mean? And there’s only one person in that picture who thinks they know everything – and that’s our current president, Donald J. Trump. Thank you! But this comes just *DAYS* after hurling insults at democrats on Twitter like this:


By the way, do you know how stupid you look when you call it the “Democrat” excuse? It’s DEMOCRATIC, not Democrat. You stupid assholes! But of course he tore into his usual tirade of making it all about himself, lashing out at critics and the “fake news media”. Where’s Trumpy at?

For his first commencement speech as president, Donald Trump went back to a place that was once key to his efforts as a candidate to shore up support among the Republican base.

Standing before tens of thousands of members of the Class of 2017 and their families at Liberty University's open-air stadium in Lynchburg, Va., Trump thanked the crowd for helping him achieve the presidency.

"I wanna thank you because, boy, did you come out and vote — those of you that are old enough; in other words, your parents," Trump said. "Boy, oh boy, you voted. You voted!"

A strong majority of evangelicals voted for Trump in November despite some predictions to the contrary. Liberty University President Jerry Falwell, Jr., was one of the first leading white evangelical figures to endorse Trump during the Republican primary season, though that decision wasn't universally supported at his university.

Thanks Trumpy! But here’s my favorite part of the whole speech – he told the graduates at Liberty University to “never give up”. Someone just watched Galaxy Quest!

President Trump on Saturday urged graduates of Liberty University to “never give up” and find the courage to challenge the establishment and critics, much like he has done in Washington.

"In my short time in Washington, I've seen firsthand how the system is broken," he said. "A small group of failed voices, who think they know everything … want to tell everybody else how to live,” Trump said in his commencement speech at the Christian school, in Lynchburg, Va.

“But you aren't going to let other people tell you what to believe, especially when you know that you're right. … We don't need a lecture from Washington on how to lead our lives."

Trump, a businessman and first-time elected official, made three previous visits to Liberty but none likely as important as his January 2016 trip in which he asked and received the support of evangelical Christians.

Thank you! But in case you’re wondering if our current president is anything but spiritual – he seems like kind of an odd choice for Liberty University, given that students were speaking out against the school’s association with Trump back before the election:

Students at Virginia’s Liberty University have issued a statement against Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump as young conservatives at some colleges across the country reconsider support for his campaign.

A statement issued late Wednesday by the group Liberty United Against Trump strongly rebuked the candidate as well as the school’s president, Jerry Falwell Jr., for defending Trump after he made vulgar comments about women in a 2005 video.

“Donald Trump does not represent our values and we want nothing to do with him,” the statement said. “… He has made his name by maligning others and bragging about his sins. Not only is Donald Trump a bad candidate for president, he is actively promoting the very things that we as Christians ought to oppose.”

But we got to talk about Trump’s newly appointed “spiritual advisor” for a minute. If you guessed the person that Trump picked is a bonafied con artist who takes her congregation and her church like it’s her personal piggy bank, you are 100% correct again!

Fifty-year-old White has had Trump’s ear for more than 14 years. A preacher of the “prosperity gospel,” White believes that God rewards the faithful with wealth, a source of much of the criticism leveled at her. The church White ran was investigated in 2007 after Sen. Charles Grassley launched a probe into the financials of a handful of televangelists. Her church made $150 million between 2004 and 2006, during which time White owned a condo in Trump Tower and an airplane. After three years of scrutiny, however, the investigation ended inconclusively.

White suffered “years of sexual and physical abuse” after her father died when she was five, according to her website. At 18, she was “introduced to the Gospel.” She is now the senior pastor at New Destiny christian Center in Apopka, Florida. She has been married three times.

“My mission is to see the world come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. When God showed me a vision at an early age, all those fell under the sound of my voice were saved, and all those who didn’t fell into darkness,” the biography on her website reads. “The deliverance and freedom that is found in a relationship with God.”

By the way, I love that Jimmy Fallon drew some comparisons between Trump’s speech and another famous movie speech. Well…

[font size="8"]Donald Trump Vs Kim Jong Un[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for another Top 10 Rage In The Cage! We need the Top 10 Octagon for this one, as we pit two crazy people with nukes against each other. In this corner, weighing in at 230 pounds (?) – the healthiest guy alive, according to TV doctors Dr. Oz and Dr. Moe, Donald J. Trump! And in this corner – his weight is unknown, and he has the same diet – the great, glorious dictator of North Korea – Kim Jong Un!!! The subject: War. You know War!

Oh yeah! Got to love low riders! But not that war. I’m talking about real war. You know – the real deep shit. But specifically Donald Trump and North Korea. This story isn’t going away any time soon. Trump wants a war. He wants a new war. Because you know the two that have been going on for 15 fucking years now, don’t matter apparently! So here’s the latest developments:

Nikki Haley, the U.S. ambassador to the United Nations, blasted North Korea's latest missile test Sunday, saying it "is not the way to sit down" with President Donald Trump.

Haley warned that the United States would continue to "tighten the screws" on the isolated nation and said North Korean leader Kim-Jong Un was in a "state of paranoia."

Her comments came hours after North Korea launched a ballistic missile that flew about 430 miles before crashing into the sea, U.S. and South Korean military officials said, in what appeared to be the latest missile test in defiance of U.N. sanctions.



Well, duh!!! You don’t sit down with Trump after launching nukes! You don’t sit down at a bar next to a professional hockey player and told him that you bet against his team to lose! I mean seriously, two out of control man babies with access to nuclear weapons – and nuclear launch codes. What could possibly go wrong?

Nikki Haley, US Ambassador to the United Nations, called the launch early on Sunday morning local time a message by Pyongyang to South Korea after the election of President Moon Jae-in, who took office on Wednesday.

She said: ”You first have to get into Kim Jong-Un's head - which is, he's in a state of paranoia, he's incredibly concerned about anything and everything around him.”

Mrs Haley added the United States will "continue to tighten the screws" on North Korea, mentioning sanctions and working with the international community to put pressure on Pyongyang.

On Monday morning, North Korea claimed it succeeded in launching a ground-to-ground intermediate ballistic missile.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. He launched nukes. And he’s the paranoid one? Is this like your uncle who’s a die hard Christian conspiracy theorist and thinks that the evil atheists are coming to take away his Bible? That kind of paranoia? Well, Trump of course reacted in the most Donald Trump way possible – by name calling and blaming the democrats!

US President Donald Trump has called North Korea a “flagrant menace” as world leaders condemned the rogue nation’s latest ballistic missile test.

South Korea and Japan also spoke out against the missile launch, which came just days after South Korea’s new president Moon Jae-in was inaugurated in Seoul.

The flight “was not consistent with an intercontinental ballistic missile”, the US Pacific Command said.

A statement from US President Donald Trump’s White House called North Korea a “flagrant menace” and urged “far stronger sanctions” against the reclusive nation.

“With the missile impacting so close to Russian soil — in fact, closer to Russia than to Japan — the president cannot imagine that Russia is pleased,” the statement added.

Calm down. We’re not all gonna die. Yet. At least if this is any indication – Trump wants to have a meeting with Kim Jong Un:

North Korea has said it will hold talks with the US "if the conditions were right", South Korean media reports.

A senior North Korean diplomat said dialogue with the Trump administration was possible following a meeting with ex-US government officials in Norway.

Earlier this month US President Donald Trump said he would be "honoured" to meet Kim Jong-un.

The comments follow months of rising tensions over North Korea's ballistic missile and nuclear programme.

Choe Son-hui, an official in the North Korean foreign ministry responsible for North American affairs, told reporters in Beijing that bilateral talks between Pyongyang and Washington would be considered.

It’s so easy making fun of Kim Jong Un. I could do this all day. So Trump would meet with Un if “the conditions were right”. What conditions? Like Trump pleading to Russia for help? Oh yes that happened!

Before he became a presidential candidate, Donald Trump used to see North Korean missile launches as evidence of American weakness. In late 2012, for example, he tweeted, “We can’t even stop the Norks from blasting a missile…. It is really sad.”

Yes, Trump, on multiple occasions, referred to officials in North Korea as “Norks.”

It’s likely Trump has adopted a very different posture now that North Korea continues to launch missiles – something “we can’t even stop” – including a ballistic-missile launch yesterday morning. NBC News reported that the unidentified ballistic missile “flew around 30 minutes” before landing in the Sea of Japan.

Last night, North Korea said the missile had the capacity to carry a “large scale heavy nuclear warhead,” but then again, North Korea says a lot of things, many of which aren’t true.

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

To call Donald J. Trump, our 45th president a pig, is quite frankly, an insult to pigs. But if you were to look up the word “pig” in the dictionary, you’d see his picture there. “FAKE NEWS!!!”. Oh , fuck let’s let Bill Maher handle this one before we start explaining.

The Art of the Meal… I love it. But this tweet recently resurfaced regarding Trump’s love of Diet Coke and his extremely unhealthy lifestyle:


Uh, do you know what’s in Diet Coke, Mr. President? Because if you knew, you wouldn’t be drinking that shit either! But here’s more about Donald Trump’s insane diet, or complete lack thereof:

Lots of fast food. Almost no sleep. And practically no exercise, aside from the occasional cart-supported round of golf.

This is a routine that a doctor wouldn't advise for a 20-year-old, yet it's the standard for the routine-loving President Donald Trump, according to Axios' "Trump 101" series, which notes that the 70-year-old is the oldest president to ever enter office.

On the campaign trail, the "three staples" of Trump's diet were Domino's, KFC, and McDonald's (Big Macs on silver platters), an aide told Axios, the new news website. That love for fast food is largely because of its consistency and the idea that fast-food companies maintain a standard of hygiene, according to an interview Trump conducted with Anderson Cooper that was cited in The New York Times.

Still, Axios reports that in the White House, Trump is more likely to favor well-done steaks, crab, and shrimp and the occasional side salad or vegetable to go along with that hunk of red meat (cooked until gray).

OK, yeah it’s kind of like Kingsman. But I love the hypocrisy here ! And I can’t believe that he eats at fast food places because he likes “the cleanliness”. I mean have you been to fast food places? They’re some of the dirtiest places around. Shit, Trump’s *OWN* restaurants failed to meet health inspections!

As president, Donald Trump has already hosted two world leaders for dinner at his Mar-a-Lago estate in Florida instead of at the White House. But he might want to re-think what he serves with that chocolate cake.

The Mar-a-Lago Club was cited for its highest-ever number of health code violations in January, the Miami Herald reported.

Records from a routine inspection January 26 note 13 violations at Mar-a-Lago’s dining establishments, including three deemed “high priority,” the most severe category. In coolers, foods like shrimp and burgers were found at temperatures up to 50 degrees Fahrenheit, much warmer than the required 41 degrees. A ham was stored at 57 degrees. And fish that was intended to be served raw had not undergone proper parasite destruction and needed to be cooked or thrown away immediately, inspectors said.

So that aside, the funny thing is that the guy who literally has Big Macs delivered to him on a silver platter is accusing Hillary Clinton and the democrats of being “elitists”. I ask you – who’s the elitist again? Thank you! But there’s more to Trump’s diet than one would let on. This might be more insane than his love of “the best chocolate cake” at Trump Tower:

Donald Trump’s penchant for big macs and well-done steak slathered with ketchup might have been widely documented but his pudding preferences have always remained more of a mystery.

Until now that is, it has emerged that the President has two scoops of ice cream with his chocolate cream pie while everyone else at the table has just one.

Time magazine has gained great insight into President Trump’s dining preferences after he invited three of their reporters for a tour of his home and office followed by a four-course dinner in the Blue Room – the oval-shaped parlour on the first floor of the White House.

They found that the waiters know President Trump’s personal preferences well. The President is bestowed with a Diet Coke while other diners are stuck with water.

There is literally a meme for everything! But really – he’s becoming less like the Donald Trump from “The Art Of The Deal” and more like Les Grossman from the 2008 Ben Stiller flick “Tropic Thunder”.

He’s an obsessive, egomaniacal, narcissistic ragaholic with an insufferable love of Diet Coke. Really, could the extra caffeine and sugar be going to his head?

On the off chance Trump is up for a delayed new year health kick – we get it, he has been busy – Travers has a few pointers based on what he likes best.

On breakfast, which Trump skips if he can, or eats bacon and eggs if pushed, Travers thinks he should be “replenishing the nutrients his body can’t store overnight”. And cut down on the bacon. “It’s a processed pork product, which has been linked with cancer, so his risk of developing the disease will go up.” She would rather see a more even balance of protein and carbs. “His high-protein diet can put added pressure on his organs if he doesn’t drink enough water.”

When lunch is meatloaf, one of his favourites, Travers says it’s OK if he eats it in a sandwich (and apparently he does), again for the balance. She also advises brown bread. “Meatloaf is essentially just meat. There’s no roughage. And no fibre impacts on gut health. If you don’t feed your gut bacteria with fruit and vegetables, that can impact the immune system and lead to infections.”

For dinner, Trump’s favourites include a Big Mac or KFC bucket. Unsurprisingly, Travers warns that he risks overloading his body with trans fats, “which act like saturated fats, and they are linked to heart disease”. An overdone steak, Trump’s preferred choice, “isn’t necessarily bad, but burned food is linked to changes to our DNA, which can also cause cancers”.

HEY MA THE MEATLOAF!!!!! WE WANT IT NOW!!!!! But here’s what could be the strangest thing about Trump’s diet that was revealed this week. And it’s not two scoops of ice cream, or the fact that he loves fast food. But the idea of garbage in, garbage out is not the lifestyle he should be leading. But this explains a lot. I didn’t know Gwyenth Paltrow’s GOOP blog was around in college because this sounds like it could be straight from there. And we all know that GOOP is the place you go to for good ideas like this:

(CNN)President Donald Trump has a number of unorthodox theories about politics. But his theory of why exercise is bad for you is the strangest I've heard yet.

"Other than golf, he considers exercise misguided, arguing that a person, like a battery, is born with a finite amount of energy," writes Evan Osnos in a piece entitled "How Trump Could Get Fired" that appears in the May 8, edition of the New Yorker.

That's far from the first time we've heard that Trump and exercise aren't friends. This, from a February 6 piece in Axios: "The only workout Trump gets is an occasional round of golf. Even then, he mostly travels by cart. On the campaign trail he viewed his rallies as his form of exercise."
In their revelatory book "Trump Revealed," the Washington Post's Mike Kranisch and Marc Fisher wrote more extensively about Trump's "battery" theory of energy:

After college, after Trump mostly gave up his personal athletic interests, he came to view time spent playing sports as time wasted. Trump believed the human body was like a battery, with a finite amount of energy, which exercise only depleted. So he didn't work out. When he learned that John O'Donnell, one of his top casino executives, was training for an Ironman triathlon, he admonished him, "You are going to die young because of this."

Where’s Stewie with a tuba when you need him?

[font size="8"]Donald Trump: Prime The Pump[/font]

Hey everybody, be sure to check out Donald Trump’s new Netflix comedy special coming this July – “Prime the Pump!”. Featuring such classic bits from the President as “Fake News” and “Critics are stupid losers!”. That’s this July on Netflix! And you know who's opening for him? Why it's the original Boss Baby himself - Sean Spicer, and he's hiding in the bushes!

There are plenty of popular political television shows set in Washington, D.C. – “Scandal,” “House of Cards,” “Madam Secretary,” etc. – and for people who’ve never worked in Beltway politics, it’s only natural to wonder which shows best capture real life.

The answer, of course, is “Veep.” In fact, it’s not even a close call.

Last night at the White House, for example, Press Secretary Sean Spicer didn’t seem altogether prepared for reporters’ questions about his boss firing the FBI director for reasons that don’t make sense. The Washington Post captured the scene:

After Spicer spent several minutes hidden in the bushes behind these sets, Janet Montesi, an executive assistant in the press office, emerged and told reporters that Spicer would answer some questions, as long as he was not filmed doing so. Spicer then emerged.

“Just turn the lights off. Turn the lights off,” he ordered. “We’ll take care of this…. Can you just turn that light off?”

Spicer got his wish and was soon standing in near darkness between two tall hedges, with more than a dozen reporters closely gathered around him. For 10 minutes, he responded to a flurry of questions, vacillating between light-hearted asides and clear frustration with getting the same questions over and over again.

Ooh, ooh!!! Are we playing a game of Clue? I'll take Mr. Spicer, in the bushes, with the candlestick. And by the way I love this:

“Presenting the ‘Garden Spicer,’ ” Kadonaga said in her Facebook post Thursday. “Now you too can have the White House press secretary in — or rather, “among”* — the bushes in your yard. And hey, if you’re concerned that when exposed to the outdoors, the image will run … no worries, that’s exactly what Sean Spicer does, so it’s totally authentic!”

As of Tuesday, the post had been shared more than 110,000 times on Facebook and has been picked up by news outlets worldwide. After receiving hundreds of requests for the Spicer image, Kadonaga uploaded it to the file hosting service Dropbox.com, spurring so much traffic that the overwhelmed site temporarily shut down her account, CBC News reported.

And where's Sean Spicer when you need him to spin something this fucking stupid? So this week, Trump gave an interview to the magazine The Economist. And it was a clusterfuck, but this might be the most amusing piece of news to come out of the Trump Camp this week. But first we need to explain what the phrase “prime the pump” means:

prime the pump
Encourage the growth or action of something, as in Marjorie tried to prime the pump by offering some new issues for discussion. In the late 1800s this expression originally was used for pouring liquid into a pump to expel the air and make it work. In the 1930s it was applied to government efforts to stimulate the economy and thereafter was applied to other undertakings.

Now let’s roll the tape.

Yes, that’s President Of The United States, Donald J. Trump, claiming he invented the phrase “Prime the pump”, a phrase that’s been around since the 1800s. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! That’s so funny! So why is it being the butt of jokes of the media this week?

President Donald Trump took credit in a new interview for inventing the phrase "prime the pump" — though, as Merriam-Webster quickly pointed out, the saying has been in circulation for more than eight decades.

In an interview with the The Economist published Thursday, the President was asked about his tax plan's potential to increase the deficit. In response, Trump used the phrase "prime the pump," and asked if his interviewer knew what it meant.

"Have you heard that expression used before? Because I haven't heard it. I mean, I just... I came up with it a couple of days ago and I thought it was good," Trump said in the interview.

The term is commonly used in economic discussions — including by Trump himself, in an interview with TIME for Trump's Person of the Year story last fall.

Thanks Trumpy! Trumpy of course alerted us to the fact that – like most things that Trump said, it’s not fucking true. And he got mocked relentlessly for it:

Students of 1930s economics are no strangers to the idea of 'priming the pump' - public spending to get the economy back on its feet.

But US President Donald Trump appears to be laying claim to the phrase for himself.

In an interview with The Economist published on Thursday, he used the metaphor to describe his hopes for tax reform.

Then he asked: "Have you heard that expression used before? Because I haven't heard it. I mean, I just… I came up with it a couple of days ago and I thought it was good. It's what you have to do."

His claim immediately raised eyebrows.

Or, as The New York Observer put it: "The Entire Internet Is Trolling President Trump Over 'Priming the Pump."

[font size="8"]Sovereign Citizens[/font]

Time once again to ask:

This week: The Sovereign Citizens Movement. How is this still a thing? We’re going to show you this group of winners – who are multiplying very quickly. And they are all – you guessed it – white males. And not only are these winners white males – they are very pissed off at the federal government. But what is a sovereign citizen? We will show you by pointing out the definition. So what is a sovereign citizen?

The sovereign citizen movement is a loose grouping of American, Canadian and Australian litigants, commentators, tax protesters, and financial-scheme promoters. Self-described sovereign citizens take the position that they are answerable only to their particular interpretation of the common law and are not subject to any government statutes or proceedings. They do not recognize United States currency, and maintain that they are "free of any legal constraints". They especially reject most forms of taxation as illegitimate. Participants in the movement argue this concept in opposition to "federal citizens," who, they say, have unknowingly forfeited their rights by accepting some aspect of federal law. The doctrines of the movement are similar to those of the freemen on the land movement more commonly found in Britain and Canada.

Many members of the sovereign citizen movement believe that the United States government is illegitimate. JJ MacNab, who writes for Forbes about anti-government extremism, has described the sovereign citizen movement as consisting of individuals who believe that the county sheriff is the most powerful law-enforcement officer in the country, with authority superior to that of any federal agent, elected official, or local law-enforcement official. This belief comes from the movement's origins in the white extremist group Posse Comitatus.

The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) classifies some sovereign citizens ("sovereign citizen extremists" as domestic terrorists. In 2010, the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) estimated that approximately 100,000 Americans were "hard-core sovereign believers", with another 200,000 "just starting out by testing sovereign techniques for resisting everything from speeding tickets to drug charges".

That was actually the Magician’s Alliance from Arrested Development. But sovereign citizens are actually demanding to be taken seriously. And given our brand of armchair journalism, we are going to show you how exactly sovereign citizens are a thing, by pointing out some of the winners of this group. So why are they back in the news this week? Let’s go back to a case from 2010 – when in Arkansas, Jerry Kane and his son Joseph Kane were pulled over by an officer on Arkansas’ I-40.

On 20 May 2010, a police officer pulled over a white Ohio minivan on Interstate 40, near West Memphis, Arkansas. Unbeknown to officer Bill Evans, the occupants of the car, Jerry Kane Jr, and his teenage son, Joseph Kane, were self-described “sovereign citizens”: members of a growing domestic extremist movement whose adherents reject the authority of federal, state and local law.

Kane, who traveled the country giving instructional seminars on debt evasion, had been posing as a pastor. Religious literature was laid out conspicuously for anyone who might peer into the van, and, when Evans ran the van’s plates, they came back registered to the House of God’s Prayer, an Ohio church. Also in the van, though Evans did not know it, were weapons Kane had bought at a Nevada gun show days earlier.

Remember Cliven Bundy? Cliven Bundy – the discount hillbilly Don Corleone of the western Nevada border who became the darling of Fox News lovers everywhere? Or how about his son Ammon Bundy who took over that bird sanctuary in Oregon with the Idiot Patrol? Idiot Patrol – great band, by the way, saw them at the Troubadour. So why is this case suddenly relevant again? Let’s explore further.

The Kanes’ ideological beliefs – which the Anti-Defamation League (ADL) believes are shared by “well into the tens of thousands” of Americans – put them under the broad umbrella of the “Patriot” movement, a spectrum of groups who believe the US government has become a totalitarian and repressive force.

Although the Trump administration is reportedly planning to restructure the Department of Homeland Security’s countering violent extremism (CVE) program to focus exclusively on radical Islam, a 2014 national survey of 175 law enforcement agencies ranked sovereign citizens, not Islamic terrorists, as the most pressing terrorist threat. The survey ranked Islamic terrorists a close second, with the following top three threats all domestic in origin and sometimes overlapping: the militia movement, racist skinheads, and the neo-Nazi movement.

So for those of you keeping score at home – the sovereign citizen movement consists of right wing militias, skinheads, religious whackjobs, and neo Nazis. Which makes for a very fucked up ven diagram.

So here’s a couple of fine examples of this movement. Behind door number one, there’s this guy in Texas who plotted a mass shooting:

A Texas man identified in court documents as a sovereign citizen remains the central figure in what authorities say was a planned mass-shooting spree on April 13, the suspect’s 50th birthday.

Steven T. “Duke” Boehle, of Austin, was arrested on April 12 after federal agents and local police searched a residence in that city where three handguns and 1,100 rounds of ammunition were seized.

A second search carried out at a rental storage unit leased by the suspect turned up 10 rifles, according to various media reports.

Boehle wanted to celebrate his 50th birthday on April 13, which he called “Holy Day,” with a mass shooting, an FBI agent testified at a court hearing according to the Austin American-Statesman.

And why is it always Texas? There’s lots of crazy shit happening in Texas. Here’s behind door #2 – this winner from Jersey City:

The rants of a self-proclaimed "sovereign citizen" from Jersey City got him thrown out of two Hudson County courtrooms last week and he was then ordered detained pending trial on PCP charges.

Gregory Hickman, 39, of Palisade Avenue, appeared in Criminal Justice Reform Court after having refused to cooperate since his arrest on April 9. After stepping a few feet into court surrounded by sheriff's officers, Hickman began yelling slogans and Hudson County Superior Court Judge Sheila Venable had him removed after he repeatedly shouted "I reject."

The state had asked for Hickman to be detained, so his next stop was a detention hearing. When he did not show up, a sheriff's officer told the judge Hickman, who was in a holding cell, refused to come to court and refused to answer to his name.

That's when the prosecutor noted that Hickman identified himself as a sovereign citizen in the arrest report and said his name was Gawdjson. The judge asked the sheriff officer to try using that name and within minutes Hickman was brought to court. He immediately went into another tirade.

And behind door number 3 is this guy. By the way, how come it’s only guys who buy into the sovereign citizen movement? You don’t see too many ladies buying into this. Maybe it’s because men are the ones who listen to gasbags like Rush Limbaugh and Alex Jones. Well, here’s our third contestant. This fine, upstanding individual from York County, Maryland.

An apparent “sovereign citizen” accused of sexually assaulting his friend’s 11-year-old daughter while the girl slept — and who’s also accused of trying to get the girl to recant — remains in York County Prison on $1 million bail.

When confronted by the friend about why he allegedly molested her daughter, Keith Aaron Miller allegedly told the woman, “I guess I loved you all too much,” according to charging documents filed by state police.

Miller, 42, of no fixed address, is charged with the felonies of involuntary deviate sexual intercourse, unlawful contact with a minor and corruption of a minor as well as the misdemeanors of unlawful restraint, indecent assault, endangering the welfare of a child and intimidation of witnesses or victims. Court documents indicates he hails from Conowingo, Maryland.

So with winners like these, and a movement that attracts the craziest of the crazy, that’s enough to make you ask – the Sovereign Citizens Movement:

[font size="8"]Richard Spencer[/font]

So we’ve seen glimpses of what a modern civil war might look like at UC Berkeley, with none other than people who look like they work for Mike’s Discount Pest Control. We’ve also seen what hardcore racism looks like in Whitefish, Montana. And we’ve seen what possible Nazi rallies look like. Now we’ll see what an actual Nazi rally looks like courtesy of professional Trump supporter, and guy who hasn’t shaved in months, yet still can’t grow a beard – Richard Spencer. Let’s explain:

Several dozen torch-wielding protestors gathered Saturday in Charlottesville, Va., chanting Nazi rhetoric as well as "Russia is our friend." Mayor Mike Signer has issued a statement likening the event to a KKK demonstration.

The group congregated in Lee Park by a statue of Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee, which is slated to be removed from the premises later this year following a February city council vote. Earlier in the day, protestors had also gathered at nearby Jackson Park, voicing their commitment to protecting what they called their "white heritage."

Chants of "blood and soil" broke out just after 9 PM. The German-originated expression, popularized in the Nazi era, refers to an ideology of "ethnic purity" based on blood descent and territory.

After about ten minutes of activity, Charlottesville police intervened, and the crowd extinguished their torches and dispersed. Law enforcement had also broken up the Jackson Park protest hours earlier with relative ease, although intervention there followed rowdier arguments and scuffles.

You know between Neo Nazis, sovereign citizens and end times apocalyptic preachers, don’t you just want to turn off life and say “fuck it”? It’s good for you! Just try it. Two simple words that will make all your problems go away: fuck it. Your girlfriend / boyfriend dumped you? Fuck it. Neo Nazis invaded your town? Fuck it. Donald Trump is still our president? Fuck!!!!!! Shit even the mayor compared it to the KKK:

CHARLOTTESVILLE, Va. -- A group that included a well-known white nationalist carried torches and chanted "you will not replace us" at a Saturday evening protest in Virginia over plans to remove a monument of a Confederate general.

A large counter-protest was held Sunday, says CBS Charlottesville affiliate WCAV-TV.

The Saturday protesters called on officials to halt the removal of a Gen. Robert E. Lee statue in Charlottesville and were swiftly condemned by the city's mayor, who said the event appeared to harken "back to the days of the KKK."

Chanting "Russia is our friend," the group lit torches at Lee Park -- named after the general -- in an effort, protesters said, to presere European-American heritage, WCAV reports.

An actual torch rally! This brings up many questions. Why were there no pitchforks? And why the hell were they protesting in suits? Were there not enough dry cleaning places in Charlottesville to dry clean their KKK robes? But you know this is what emboldened white supremacy looks like. Where are the Blues Brothers when you need them?

It was a scene out of the darkest days of the civil rights movement. A couple of dozen white supremacists rallied around a statue of Robert E Lee, a Confederate army general, in Virginia, carrying torches and chanting: “You will not replace us.”

But this was no black-and-white newsreel, relaying the horrors of a time long since past. This grotesque scene played out on Saturday, at a rally headlined by the white supremacist Richard Spencer.

The cause for this neo-Klan rally? The city of Charlottesville’s decision in February to remove the Lee statue from the park that bears his name in the city’s downtown area. The white supremacists also demonstrated at the city’s Festival of Cultures earlier in the day.

[font size="8"]Justin Bieber[/font]

Time for another installment of:

So for this, this is when we talk about stuff that doesn’t have anything to do with anything, while I enjoy this nice stiff beverage of Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. For this entry we’re going to talk about Justin Beiber. I don’t want to talk about Justin Beiber, but this is so fucked up that I feel like I have to talk about it. Maybe Justin Beiber should hook up with the Fyre Festival. Except at the Fyre Festival, he wouldn’t be going to bowling alleys or dining at 5 star sushi restaurants. He’d be dining on “sandwiches” that look like this:

And then this happened:

Billy McFarland, the founder of the company behind the catastrophic Fyre festival, told employees on Friday that they would no longer be paid but were welcome to “stay and help out”, according to audio of a conference call obtained by Vice News.

“We’re not firing anybody,” the 25-year-old entrepreneur said. “We’re just letting you know that there will be no payroll in the short term.”

The festival was marketed by Fyre Media as a luxury getaway in the Bahamas, but it quickly devolved into chaos after organizers failed to provide the most basic amenities. McFarland and co-organizer Ja Rule have been hit with numerous lawsuits.

McFarland conceded that ceasing to pay people was “not an ideal situation”. He added later: “The last thing I want to do is put anyone in a bad position.”

Welcome to the Fyre Festival! We can’t pay you, but stay and hang out! It will be fun! So what does this have to do with Justin Beiber? Well, I love it when celebrities go full diva. I mean come on, I want to see private chauffeurs for your dog! Have a particular brand of perfume sprayed through the vents 24/7! I mean come on! Well, maybe the concert venues in India wont be able to meet his ridiculous demands:

Justin Bieber’s concert in India on May 10 will not only be remembered for being the first time the Canadian pop star performs in the country but for a tour rider that reportedly has demands for a Rolls Royce throughout his stay, a ping pong table, playstation and sofa set flown in for him and a redesign of his suite to incorporate Mogul paintings, antique furniture and signature Kashimiri bedroom linen.

A tour rider of the Grammy award-winning star before his performance in Mumbai has gone viral. The details of the rider, which has not been verified by the artist’s management, were tweeted by a music journalist in India according to The Telegraph.

The two-page rider details all the wants of the star, whose millions of young fans are called Beliebers.

His demands, according to the document, include a convoy of 10 luxury sedans and two Volvo buses that will be at the disposal of the artist and his entourage of 120 people, a Rolls Royce, and high level security from the Maharashtra Police force.

The singers favourite items, like a ping pong table, IO Hawk, washing machine, wardrobe cupboard and massage table for backstage will arrive in 10 containers before he arrives.

Holy shit! A chauffeured Rolls Royce? 10 luxury sedans? So the Uber driver with the 1994 Nissan Sentra doesn’t count? High level security? A ping pong table? Massage table? WTF!!! And if you can guess, the tour was a complete and total failure:

The highly anticipated Justin Bieber maiden India concert was held last night at DY Patil Stadium, Mumbai, and it was beyond successful--in terms of attendance at least.

While many Indians are still enthralled with the magic they saw last night, there are a few who have resorted to social media to express their disappointment.

Bieber made everyone swoon to his music last night, in the darkness of the night and the eye-blinding glimmer of the shining personality that he is, most people could not notice that the pop sensation was lip syncing his own songs.

[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest Round 15: NFFSA Championship[/font]

16 states will enter, and only one state will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State! If you need a reminder of the conferences, there’s the Batshit Conference, the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, the Gun Nut Conference, and the Family Values Conference. This is it! It has come down to this. Last week, Montana knocked off Tennessee to advance to the finals for the first time in the state’s history. Their white supremacists, hermits, extreme outdoor survivalists and doomsday preppers mean business! Meanwhile, Texas is no slouch in the batshit crazy department. They’ve got a young team who is poised to win multiple tournaments. Being the largest state in the union means they’ve got a lot of crazy and their crazy knows no boundaries. It’s going to be quite the matchup! So we’re going to see who matches up in this department – both states voted for Trump, and both states have equally crazy laws on the books. Let’s get out our brackets shall we?

[font size="6"]Round 15: NFFSA Championship[/font]

[font size="4"]Montana [/font]

So now we’ve found the two states that have towered above all the competition. These states are a shining example of conservative idiocy. We have one more round. We were previously going to discuss sanctuary cities as a combining topic, but there wasn’t enough information to go on, so we’re just going to talk about how batshit crazy each state’s government is. You know part of the reason Montana had such a strong showing in the tournament is because of the town of Whitefish – which is home to Richard Spencer and some of the most hardcore racism in Montana. And how does that translate to the state’s government? Well we’re going to do an overall view of the crazy – like Montana’s national parks may be disappearing:

Montana's Glacier National Park is quickly losing an important part of its natural beauty: Its glaciers.

U.S. Geological Survey data released Wednesday shows the park's 37 glaciers, along with two others on federal Forest Service land, have shrunk an average of about 40% since 1966.

In fact, they'll all be gone within our lifetime, warns Daniel Fagre, a research ecologist with the USGS's Northern Rocky Mountain Science Center. In order for the glaciers to survive, the area would need to experience "significant cooling," he said.

But it's likely too late. "Their fate is sealed," forecasted Farage, who has studied the glaciers since 1991. The trend, he argues, could have an impact on the park and animal life.



But as I reported before – Montana is home to some of the biggest hate groups in the country. For those of you keeping score at home – Montana is home to hate groups, skinheads, neo Nazis, doomsday preppers, and backwards religious pastors. Why are we not surprised?

Seaborn Larson, Great Falls Tribune Published 5:19 p.m. MT Feb. 15, 2017 | Updated 13 hours ago

Montana aligned with the rest of the U.S. last year in its increase of hate-group activity, the Southern Poverty Law Center announced Wednesday.

In 2016, 917 hate groups were active in communities around the nation, up from 892 in 2015, according to the SPLC’s annual census of hate groups in the U.S. Anti-Muslim groups almost tripled to 101 in 2016, the biggest increase counted by the organization.

The organization, which monitors hate groups around the U.S., noted it was the second year in a row that hate groups were on the rise.

Mark Potok, senior fellow at the SPLC, said during a phone conference with members of the media that the rise of hate groups was bolstered by one source: the election of President Donald Trump.

And here’s how batshit crazy Montana is. You know for a state with a democratic governor, why are there such crazy people to inhabit the state? And why do they keep voting for republicans? Well the guy who challenged Steve Bullock may hold the key:

As New Jersey multimillionaire Greg Gianforte boasts about his record as a businessman, an early profile of his business reveals that his record tells a different story.

A story recently uncovered from the archives of the Bozeman Daily Chronicle, quotes employees who criticized Gianforte and RightNow Technologies for undertraining and underpaying his employees, undermining Gianforte's story about high wages.

Jim Busse, a former RightNow Technologies Manager:
“In the early days if you would hear Greg talk he would say he has a tremendous advantage over his competitors, because he’s paying people quite a bit less."

Millionaire? Doesn’t pay taxes? Stiffs his employees? That sounds a lot like a person who, may or may not be the 45th president of the United States. So Montana may not be the stupidest state after all – there’s some batshit fucking crazy people in this state, but at least their governor has some common sense!

Gov. Steve Bullock vetoed a bill that would have banned Sharia and other foreign laws from being used in Montana courts, saying Thursday that the measure would "upend our legal system and debase what we stand for as Montanans and Americans."

Montana was one of the 13 states considering legislation seeking to prevent the use of foreign law in state courts. While the bill's focus was not on Sharia law, some supporters specifically spoke out against the religious law used in some parts of the Islamic world.

Some Republicans sided with Democrats in opposing the measure but could not block it from going to the governor.

[font size="4"]Texas [/font]

Finally we come back to the Lone Star State, Texas. I mean we do a segment from time to time called “Florida, WTF”. But we should start doing one next season called “Texas, WTF”. I mean there’s a reason why Texas won the Layover League. And why they beat out the competition – which includes Florida, the penis of America. Texas is so fucked up that the house Tea Party is revolting against the house GOP in the title of… who can be more batshit crazy?

A split in the Republican ranks could doom hundreds of bills still pending before the Texas Legislature. Tea party members frustrated with House GOP leaders have already brought business in the lower chamber to a halt.

Last night at midnight marked the cutoff for the House to vote on bills originating in the chamber this session. Members of the House Freedom Caucus railed that they were being stifled as the leadership focused on pressing through as many bills as possible. When the deadline passed, the group used a procedural move to kill more than 100 bills scheduled for a vote today.

“What’s happened to us has been personal retribution,” said State Rep. Jeff Leach (R-Plano), who announced the move. “It’s been personal attacks, personal retribution, petty, personal politics. And this caucus has had enough of it.”

Read more: http://www.houstonpublicmedia.org/articles/news/2017/05/12/200877/tea-party-republicans-revolt-against-house-gop-leadership/

And the Texas house is so fucked up that they held their own late night talk fests to stall the bills that the other half of the GOP was proposing! You can’t make this shit up!

AUSTIN -- A dawdling, fractious Texas House collided with its first and biggest bill-passing deadline of the session Thursday, with the temporary casualties being controversial anti-abortion bills but also Republican unity.

Democrats were gleeful that the abortion bills didn’t come up before the clock struck midnight, but it was staunchly conservative Republicans who did most of their work for them.

GOP members openly feuded over whether a dozen diehard staunch conservatives were being punished in petty ways - or simply reaping just desserts for their session-long obstructionist tactics and attacks on House Speaker Joe Straus and his allies.

The spectacle of intra-GOP dissension brought shy smiles to the faces of Democratic leaders such as Grand Prairie’s Chris Turner.

Read more: https://www.dallasnews.com/news/texas-legislature/2017/05/11/bill-massacre-texas-house-kills-proposals-late-night-talkfest

I like that one! The division in the Texas state house is so intense that it accurately depicts the division in the rest of the country! This is what we’re looking for in the Stupidest State contest here folks. A state that’s as divided as our country, and a government that is one of the craziest in the whole country. So how many bills failed during that talk fest? Well… the Texas GOP is so fucked up that they can’t even pass their own bills!

The deep fractures in the Texas House GOP were on full display Thursday evening as lawmakers faced down a midnight deadline to pass bills out of the chamber.

The night began with a group of Tea Party-aligned lawmakers announcing plans to use a procedural maneuver to kill more than 100 bills in retribution for what they called the “petty personal politics” of the Republican-controlled chamber. It ended with barely restrained chaos, as conservatives tried tactic after tactic to derail legislation.

About 30 minutes before the midnight deadline, state Rep. Jonathan Stickland took to the back microphone to denounce the House leadership’s use of rules to muzzle dissent.

“It’s disgusting! It’s disgusting!” he shouted.

The Bedford Republican's efforts to influence the House agenda at various points prompted him to charge toward the dais shouting after the microphone at his podium was turned off. In another moment, the chamber erupted in laughter at his request — just a few minutes before midnight — to make a personal privilege speech, a usually somber occasion that draws silence from fellow members.

Read more: https://www.texastribune.org/2017/05/11/conservative-house-members-kill-more-100-bills-over-petty-personal-pol/

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is… [/font]

Folks this was an amazing game and it came right down to an overtime wire. Montana has blasted through all of its’ opponents in the Flyover League, while Texas was the team who finally knocked Florida out of the winner’s spot in the Layover League. With 3 seconds left on the clock in over time, the score is 99 – 99. Texas has the ball, shoots with 1.05 seconds left on the clock and… OH MY GOD!!!! IT’S IN!!!! TEXAS WINS!!!! THEY ARE OUR NEW TOP 10 CONSERVATIVE IDIOTS STUPIDEST STATE! Do you believe in miracles? Texas hits a last second 3 and wins the battle against Montana. Congratulations to Texas, they are our new 2017 Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State! Montana leaves the court in a bitter defeat.

[font size="4"]Presentation Of The Trophy [/font]

Before I announce the winner – I want to say this was one of the best tournaments I’ve seen in quite some time. Every single state in the tournament brought something new to the table. And this was a long, hard fought tournament. But now… the winner is… Texas. Montana put up a great game, and we hope to see them again in next year’s tournament. But I, as the commissioner of the National For Fuck’s Sake League, that hosts the Stupidest State tournament, am extremely proud to present Texas with the DeLay Trophy – named after one of the all time greatest coaches in this tournament, who won the tournament for his state 5 years in a row. A truly unprecedented feat.


[font size="4"]Press Conference [/font]

[font size="4"]Net Cutting And Champagne Spraying[/font]

[font size="4"]Statement From The Commissioner & The End[/font]

Congratulations to Texas for being our 2017 NFFSA Stupidest State! We hope you enjoyed the tournament this year. We had some great participants. The NFFSA organization is dedicated to providing the best in finding the biggest idiots in the country. And Texas showed their prowess and towered over all the competition to win the Stupidest State. I’d like to thank the state of Montana, and their amazing team and organization. I’d like to thank the state of Texas and their amazing team and organization. Most importantly, I’d also like to thank the amazing people at the National For Fuck’s Sake Administration for putting on this tournament every year. Without whom, we would not have this tournament every year. We hope to do it again next year in 2018. And we hope to see you next year at the home of the tournament – Honda Center in Anaheim, and Staples Center in Los Angeles. Now let’s end by singing that song we all know and love!

[font size="8"]And now this:[/font]
[font size="8"]George Clinton & Parliament - Funkadelic[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen – let’s get this post season party started! Playing their all time classic tune “Flashlight” – originally on the album “Funkentelechy Vs The Placebo Syndrom”, now on the soundtrack for “Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2”, please welcome George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic!

Yeah how about that?

This is it for season 2 of the Top 10 Conservative Idiots. We’re going to take two weeks off. Season 3 starts June 7th! See you then!

Hey Mitch, you're part of the problem!

Before Firing Comey, Trump Was So Angry, He Would "Scream At TV Clips"

If you were shocked by the news that President Trump had fired FBI Director James Comey, you were in good company — so was James Comey, everyone at the FBI, most members of Congress, and apparently almost everyone in the White House. Trump and his top advisers who did know, Politico reports, were mostly surprised that not everyone thought firing Comey was a great idea. "White House officials believed it would be a 'win-win' because Republicans and Democrats alike have problems with the FBI director," Politico says, citing a person briefed on their deliberations. "By Tuesday evening, the president was watching the coverage of his decision and frustrated no one was on TV defending him. ... Instead, advisers were attacking each other for not realizing the gravity of the situation as events blew up."

In fact, Trump had been planning to oust Comey for at least a week, The New York Times and CNN report, and Attorney General Jeff Sessions had been charged with finding a good pretext. The president was increasingly incensed at the FBI's investigation into his orbit's ties to Russia during the election, Politico and The Wall Street Journal report. With understaffed investigations languishing in Congress, the FBI's investigation was the most active and serious.

Trump specifically "grew unhappy that the media spotlight kept shining on the director," and "questioned whether his expanding media profile was warping his view of the Russia investigation," White House officials tell The Wall Street Journal. "A person with knowledge of recent conversations said they wanted Mr. Comey to 'say those three little words: There's no ties,'" and he did not. Trump was also angry that Comey "wouldn't support his claims that President Barack Obama had tapped his phones in Trump Tower" and refused to prioritize inquiries into the leaking of information that made Trump look bad, Politico reports, but the main irritant was Russia:


Someone *REALLY* needs to take Fox News away from him. Holy fucking shit.

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #2-23: Aint No Party Like A GOP Party Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #2-23: Aint No Party Like A GOP Party Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! For the intro this week, we got to talk about the Eagles. The band of course.

Thanks, Dude. We love the Eagles here. I’ve seen them in concert and they were amazing. So you know that the Eagles sued Hotel California, right? No it’s not that Hotel California. There’s a hotel in Baja California, that apparently was using the name of the Eagles song and their music without their permission. You’d think Don Henley would love the idea of the fact that there’s an actual hotel called “Hotel California” right? WRONG!!!! Apparently they don’t and they are suing. And you know my favorite part of this whole thing? So the actual inspiration for the song was the real life Beverly Hills Hotel in Beverly Hills, California (my state!!!). So the Eagles are suing to prevent association from the hotel and the band. But you’d think this would be a natural marketing gimmick for both the band and the hotel. But nope. Now here’s the kicker – the actual hotel was opened in 1950. Don Henley on the other hand – was born in 1947 – he was 3 when that hotel opened! Yeah think about it! Doesn’t that blow your mind? Yeah that just happened ! OK enough of the intro this week. We got a lot of idiocy to cover. That’s enough of the intro. But first. John Oliver is back and he’s uniting the time wasters and trolls of the internet to help sign the FCC’s petition on Net Neutrality:

The top 2 slots in this week’s edition are easily going to the House Republicans (1,2). They are cheering over the fact that they just denied 24 million Americans healthcare. Not only are they cheering about it, they’re quite literally popping the champagne as if they won the world series. In the third slot is of course President Trump. And we’re going to have some fun with this one, and we get to introduce to you our fun new character – Trumpy The Fake News Parrot! So you know the Trump – Flynn hearings are ongoing. And it’s a shit show. And of course Trump is playing the Fake News card. Taking the 4th slot, is of course President Donald Trump. And this time we’re going to talk about something we haven’t discussed in much detail – his stance in the war on drugs. Attorney General Forrest Gump wants to bring back the War on Drugs and escalate it, but without Drug Control offices, he may be SOL. And in the fifth slot, we’re going to debut a new feature, and I hope it goes well. This one is called “Fundies Say The Darndest Things!”. And there’s a lot of batshit stuff that fundies have been saying in the wake of AHCA, Oh and by “darndest”, I mean “evil, crazy bullshit”. At number 6 is Republicans Vs. Talk Shows. So republicans attacked Jimmy Kimmel for speaking out about how we need a better health care system, while they also attacked Stephen Colbert for his controversial joke last week, and we talked about that in the intro. In the 7th slot is the Trump brothers – Uday and Qusay, because Eric Trump recently admitted that the Trump organization may or may not have taken money from Russia. This is not the thing to say when you’re under investigation regarding your dealings with, I don’t know, Russia!!! Taking the number 8 slot, the biggest loser this week is none other than Marine LaPen and we’re going to talk about her defeat and what this means for the white nationalist movement – which may or may not be coming to a country near you! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!!) slot – we have to talk about music once again, but the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot is going to the ruling party in New Zealand. Because in case you haven’t heard, New Zealand is being sued by rapper Eminem after it was found that New Zealand was using a janky version of “Lose Yourself” in campaign ads. It’s the Vanilla Ice defense all over again! And we might try our hand at some freestyling. Or maybe not. In the 10th slot this week – the penultimate round of our Stupidest State Contest! Now, don’t be sad – it’s been a long time coming and I cant wait to reward the winner with the “head up ass” trophy! For this edition we’re going to do a deep dive on Doomsday Prepping when Montana takes on Tennessee for the Flyover League crown. And finally this week, we’ve got some great new music for you – this time from a Los Angeles based band who I like to call “Cold War Kids”. Yay! The kids love Cold War Kids. They have a great new album out and they will be stopping by to play something from it. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[font size="8"]Trumpcare Pt.1: The Apocalypse Begins[/font]

Well, I tell you there aint no party like a rich white man’s party because a rich white man’s party don’t stop! Oh wait – it exactly stops at 11:00 PM. With no after party. And probably no booze either. Killjoys. You know – remember when the GOP had all those insane hearings and kept going on about how “death panels were going to kill your grandma”? Well they’re coming to kill your grandma all right, but it’s not Obama’s death panels. Nope, the sadistic assholes in the GOP House are the ones who are going to pull the plug. And if you’re not already angry as shit about this, well, you should be!

Republicans are trying very hard to disguise what the American Health Care Act would actually do.

They keep insisting their bill, which would repeal the Affordable Care Act, would “lower premiums and improve access to quality, affordable care,” as House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) put it last month.

Any time analysts point out the ways in which those promises are misleading or false ― or cite the Congressional Budget Office prediction that the AHCA would leave about 24 million people without health insurance ― Republicans insist that a combination of new tax credits, state innovation, and so-called high-risk pools will take care of people better than the current system does.

This is not true. And perhaps the clearest evidence is in those CBO numbers.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! So what changes are made to this bill? In fact the whole thing is certifiably insane. And when you get down to it, it’s really just a giant “fuck you” to liberals and to the Obama administration. And now that they got their guy in SCOTUS, this shit will become reality. Yeah, think about that. But if that doesn’t piss you off, then maybe this will? The GOP celebrated like they won the fucking World Series:

President Donald Trump applauded House Republicans for passing their version of a health care overhaul bill Thursday afternoon, hailing the vote as a step to alleviate the "ravages" and "suffering" caused by the Affordable Care Act.

The president was joined in his Rose Garden victory lap by Vice President Mike Pence, Health and Human Services Secretary Tom Price, Medicare and Medicaid administrator Seema Verma and dozens of Republican lawmakers who rode busses from the Capitol to the White House shortly after voting.

"What a great group of people," Trump said, turning around to thank the lawmakers gathered behind him. "They're not even doing it for the party, they're doing it for this country."

The president said that the bill was tantamount to repealing and replacing the Affordable Care Act, also known as Obamacare, though the legislation, which passed 217-213 in the House faces an even tougher fight in the Senate.

And you can call this picture what you want. I call this picture “Meet The Fuckers”:

By the way, what would it look like if they all had the exact same face? Let’s take a look!

I mean… would anyone notice? Really? Anyone at all? And I think that picture deserves a far more fitting background:

But while Rome burns and Caesar celebrates, the celebration aint over just yet. It’s got a long, uphill battle to become an actual law signed of course – by guess who? Donald “Fake News” Trump.

House Republicans journeyed to the White House Thursday for a health-care victory lap in the Rose Garden, but Senate Republicans were in no mood for celebration.

Instead, they sent an unmistakable message: When it comes to health-care, we're going to do our own thing.

"I think there will be essentially a Senate bill," explained Sen. Roy Blunt, R-Mo., the fourth-ranking Senate Republican.

"It's going to be a Senate bill, so, we'll look at it," said Sen. Jeff Flake, R-Ariz.

"We will be working to put together a package that reflects our member's priorities with the explicit goal of getting 51 votes," Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, reasoned.

Now that the House has narrowly passed legislation overhauling the nation's health care system, it is headed to the Senate, where Republican leaders will wrestle with political and procedural challenges complicating chances for final passage.

But we’re still not done! In case you need all the horrifying details of what Trump’s insane new health laws ensue, here’s a handy guide for you.

Republicans in the House say they have the votes to pass the American Health Care Act, a measure that will repeal the Affordable Care Act, or Obamacare. The vote is scheduled for Thursday. We analyzed the AHCA in March, when the original version was scheduled for a vote that eventually was canceled.

[UPDATE: The House passed the bill 217-213 on nearly a strict party-line vote, with 20 Republicans voting against it and no Democrats in favor.]

The new version is appreciably worse. Like the original, it threatens the health coverage of more than 24 million Americans but includes provisions that are even crueler. Here’s a handy guide to the worst elements of a nasty bill that will harm you and your neighbors.

1. The AHCA guts protections for those with pre-existing conditions.

Safeguards for people with pre-existing conditions long was thought to be the line in the sand, the last frontier, the third rail of Obamacare repeal — the point that Republicans wouldn’t cross. The final version of the AHCA crosses it.

[font size="8"]Trumpcare Pt 2: Electric Boogaloo Die Harder[/font]

Come on everybody lets get a chant going! “There aint no party like a GOP party because a GOP party don’t stop! There aint no party like a GOP party because a GOP party don’t stop! There aint no party like a GOP party because a GOP party don’t stop!”. Well it actually probably does stop after Steve Bannon drinks two handles of Jack Daniels and gets caught knocking over neighborhood lawn ornaments and mistaking a mailbox for a urinal. I’m just saying it happens! But were you invited to their crazy party and celebration? I know I wasn’t!

They had a party in Washington to celebrate that an $8 billion risk-pool fig leaf was enough to drain the guts out of Republican "moderates" in the House and get them on board. This was a thing to celebrate.

They had a party in Washington to celebrate that freedom was served because Medicaid took a serious shot below the waterline. This was a thing to celebrate.

They had a party in Washington to celebrate that one state—Mississippi? Kansas?—could bring freedom by restoring lifetime limits on employer-based healthcare coverage for 129 million Americans. This was a thing to celebrate.

They had a party in Washington to celebrate the fact that taking healthcare from poor people was enough to give the top two percent of Americans a trillion-dollar tax cut. This was a thing to celebrate.

Hey even Caligula and Caesar partied heartily while Rome burned. But there’s more to this insane celebration of evil and greed that may be more than was led on.

Or perhaps there was no party, and the Bud Light seen at the Capitol was merely meant to be an aperitif for the House Republicans heading to the White House to mark the AHCA's passage at a press conference in the Rose Garden. "Republicans will be having a big press conference at the beautiful Rose Garden of the White House immediately after vote!" President Donald Trump tweeted Thursday. Dana Bash, CNN's chief political correspondent, reported two GOP sources had told her House Republicans planned to travel to the White House "for [a] victory event" following the vote.

Democratic legislators were quick to criticize their Republicans colleagues' rumored celebration. "As Americans rally against #Trumpcare, buses wait to take Rs to the White House to join @POTUS to toast making life miserable for millions," Rep. Ted Deutch tweeted.

"Millions of Americans are about to lose health care coverage and the Republicans are drinking beer. Outrageous," Rep. Rosa DeLauro tweeted.

If House Republicans are popping open cans of Bud Light to celebrate the AHCA's passage in the House, it's a party seven years in the making as many within the GOP have been eager to see Obamacare repealed since the day it became law. But party or no party (or drinks aboard a party bus), it seems beyond tasteless to celebrate legislation that stands to leave so many people without insurance.

I’d imagine the GOP parties like this:

But cases of Bud Light? Really? That’s their go-to beer? Although if you look at the great list of performers that they had at Trump’s inauguration – 3 Doors Down, Toby Keith and Lee Greenwood, their taste in music and their taste in beer are both quite similar – they have none!!! Taste and the GOP are two words that do not belong in the same sentence. I mean just look at their taste in interior decorating:

Is that a high rise NYC penthouse or a discount Sistine Chapel? And their taste in food:

Perfect metaphor for Trump – giant cake, tiny scoop of ice cream! “The best, OK?” And their taste in travel:

So why am I surprised that they have no taste in music or beer? But what really happened after their supposed “win”?

Maybe MSNBC really has changed Greta Van Susteren.

The former Fox News host did not pull any punches on Thursday as President Donald Trump and House Republicans prepared to make what she called a “premature” victory lap in the White House Rose Garden after passing a health care bill that is widely expected to fail in the Senate.

“Maybe I'm delusional, but I don't get this one at all,” Van Susteren told her new colleague Chris Matthews. “What is the celebration? It can’t pass in the Senate. It hasn't even gone to the Senate.” The idea that Republicans are “taking selfies of each other and high-fiving” did not make sense to her at all.

“It’s like claiming victory in a football game at the end of the first quarter or the half or something,” she continued. “For the life of me, I don't know why they put themselves in a position where they're clapping each other on the back for getting something halfway done. The American people want a product. We're not even there and it’s not even likely to be there. Now we have this picture, this bus ride, this big hoopla.”

So they celebrated before they really should have celebrated. The bill still has a long way to go before it passes Trump’s desk. But even the GOP reps are quick to point out that the GOP shouldn’t be partying so soon:

One of the Republicans who helped get the American Health Care Act narrowly passed through the House of Representatives yesterday is making it clear that he isn’t all that thrilled with the bill… nor the president celebrating in the Rose Garden over its passage through just one chamber of Congress.

Rep. Mark Sanford (R-SC), who earlier today admitted to not reading the bill in its entirety before voting for it, compared President Donald Trump‘s celebratory speech to a rather infamous premature declaration.

“It’s kind of like George Bush going up on top of the aircraft carrier and saying ‘Mission Accomplished,'” he told MSNBC’s Craig Melvin when asked why he didn’t attend the Rose Garden event. “I mean, you’ve got to be careful about these things. People get ahead of their skis and it can come back to bite them.”

Although speaking of accomplished douches, next the bill heads to the Senate, and would you be surprised in the least to learn that it’s one big sausage party? I’m shocked, shocked I tell you!

Washington (CNN)Just hours after House Republicans managed to pass a bill to repeal and replace Obamacare, the Senate is signaling it will write its own proposal -- announcing a group of 13 Republican members who will be responsible for crafting the Senate's plan.

Senators in the group include Finance Committee Chairman Orrin Hatch, Health and Education Committee Chairman Lamar Alexander and conservatives Ted Cruz and Mike Lee.

A GOP aide defended the makeup of the group.
"We have no interest in playing the games of identity politics, that's not what this is about; it's about getting a job done," the aide said. "We'll work with any member of any background who wants to pass a health reform bill that will reduce premiums and take away the burdens that Obamacare inflicted.

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

Before we get into this week’s entry, we have to talk about some late breaking news! You know Comey was fired, and we wont be able to get into that in the kind of detail you’d expect from the Top 10 until next week, but we do have to talk about this:

Washington (CNN)Attorney General Jeff Sessions and Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein are interviewing potential interim FBI directors Wednesday, according to a Justice Department official.

Deputy FBI Director Andrew McCabe is one of those being interviewed, the official said.
By statute, McCabe became acting FBI director Tuesday in the wake of James Comey's firing.
The official said an announcement of the decision should come soon -- later Wednesday or Thursday.

The candidates are not just limited to FBI officials -- they must be someone with significant law enforcement experience. The official said it cannot be a former US attorney.
The official expects four to eight individuals to be interviewed.
If McCabe is not selected, he will go back to being deputy director.

So if you’re keeping score at home – Donald Trump just fired James Comey. And the guy who gets to look for his replacement has been accused of lying under oath. Seems legitimate. Now back to the original entry! The GOP loves to rub salt in the wound don’t they? They’re like the sports commentator who when your team loses very badly in a post season game, they’re the ones going “Well you should have tried harder and you wouldn’t have lost!”. I mean really? You have to go there? Well it’s bad enough that Donald Trump fired Sally Yates because, reasons. Well, now Mrs. Yates is hopping mad. And Trump himself is terrified! Oh yes, he is terrified, folks! So much that he tweeted this, we presume while on the toilet at 3:00 AM after he ate too many Trump branded cheeseburgers and chocolate cake:


Does he… even know what happens when you testify under oath? I don’t know a lot about how our legal system works, but doesn’t what happens when you testify under oath have serious consequences? Like things that I don’t know, could land you in federal prison? And isn’t this threatening a witness?

Lawyers for President Donald Trump tried to prevent former acting Attorney General Sally Yates from testifying before the House Intelligence Committee on links between Trump campaign staff and Russian officials, according to correspondence first obtained by The Washington Post.

In a series of letters last week, Yates’ lawyer, David O’Neil, accused the Trump Justice Department of trying to silence Yates by asserting that “all information Ms. Yates received or actions she took in her capacity as Deputy Attorney General and acting Attorney General are client confidences that she may not disclose absent written consent of the department.”

Yates served as deputy attorney general in the Obama administration and then as acting attorney general in the first few weeks of the Trump administration. Trump fired her on Jan. 31, after she refused to enforce the president’s original executive order banning immigrants from seven majority-Muslim countries.


Now here’s where we get to introduce our new character Trumpy The Fake News Parrot. Say hi to the audience, Trumpy!

So now Trumpy the Fake News Parrot was created because Trump loves to decry any news outlet that doesn’t kiss his ass 100% as “fake news”. But seriously, we could have a whole series of these characters. There’s Kellyanne, the PR Lhasa Apso. There’s Pencey, the sly VP fox. There’s Jared, the foreign relations chameleon. There’s Bannon the Sloth. I could literally do these all day! But I’m getting off topic here What else does he say?

Thanks Trumpy! Does Trumpy want a cracker? Huh? Does Trumpy want a cracker? Maybe his companion Spicey The Truth Telling Bear will help ease the tension:

White House press secretary Sean Spicer said Monday that he expected former Acting Attorney General Sally Yates to tell the truth during her testimony to a Senate Judiciary subcommittee investigating Russian interference in the 2016 election.

Since revelations Yates warned the Trump administration that ousted National Security Advisor Michael Flynn was a blackmail risk in that position, because he had misled the Vice President about his discussions of sanctions with the Russian ambassador, President Donald Trump has attacked her as a partisan leaker.

“Do you have any reason to doubt that her testimony, which will be under oath, will be truthful before this senate subcommittee?” one reporter asked Spicer during his daily press briefing Monday. “I would assume that when you raise your right hand and agree to tell the truth and nothing but the truth that you’ll do that. That’s the whole reason you pledge,” he said.

Spicer also said at the press briefing that Yates had not, to his knowledge, cleared her testimony with the White House general counsel’s office. That point was subject to a brief controversy in late March, after Yates’ scheduled testimony to the House Intelligence Committee was cancelled.

Read more: http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/spicer-expects-sally-yates-tell-the-truth

Wait, let’s contemplate this for a minute. Sean Spicer wants Sally Yates to tell the truth. Sean Spicer wants Sally Yates to tell the truth. Sean Spicer wants Sally Yates to tell the truth. No matter how many times I say it, it still sounds weird. This whole thing is a shit show. Oh and just like a parrot would do, guess who’s getting the blame for hiring Flynn? Yup! You guessed it!

White House press secretary Sean Spicer on Monday said it should not come as a surprise that President Barack Obama “wasn’t exactly a fan” of President Donald Trump’s former national security adviser Mike Flynn. Obama reportedly warned Trump against hiring Flynn for the post.

“It’s true that President Obama made it known that he wasn’t exactly a fan of Gen. Flynn’s,” Spicer said during his daily press briefing. Obama dismissed Flynn from his post at the Defense Intelligence Agency in 2014 amid concerns about his temperament and complaints from employees at the agency.

According to a report by NBC News, Obama cautioned Trump in November 2016 not to hire Flynn for the highly sensitive role, advice which Trump apparently ignored. Flynn was ousted in February after reports revealed he spoke about sanctions in a call with Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak before Trump’s inauguration.

Spicer on Monday said Obama’s alleged antipathy “shouldn’t come as a surprise” since Flynn “was an outspoken critic” of Obama and campaigned against Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton, leading a chant at the Republican National Convention in 2016 to “lock her up.”

Except, like most things Trump does, it’s not fucking true:

Former President Obama warned President Donald Trump against hiring Mike Flynn as his national security adviser, three former Obama administration officials tell NBC News. The warning, which has not been previously reported, came less than 48 hours after the November election when the two sat down for a 90-minute conversation in the Oval Office.

The revelation comes on a day that former acting Attorney General Sally Yates is expected to testify that Flynn misled the White House about his contacts with Russia's ambassador to the United States.

NBC News has asked the Trump administration for a response.

According to all three former officials, Obama warned Trump against hiring Flynn. The Obama administration fired Flynn in 2014 from his position as head of the Defense Intelligence Agency, largely because of mismanagement and temperament issues.

Thanks Trumpy!

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

So you know before we get into this next entry, we have to go back to talking about AHCA for just one more minute. It’s certifiably batshit insane the more you do a deep dive into it. We have to talk about what kind of drugs the Trump administration might be on. I mean it’s no secret that Attorney General Casper The Friendly Ghost is planning to stomp out marijuana farms in his quest to ignite The War On Drugs II: Electric Boogaloo Die Harder. But the Trump administration is doing its’ best to pull a Jedi Mind Trick on you in regards to marijuana.

Attorney General Jeff Sessions wants to revive the war on drugs, and a crackdown on weed appears to be a major part of that. He is expected to pursue harsher punishments for using and distributing marijuana, which were relaxed under President Trump’s predecessor, as The Washington Post’s Sari Horowitz has reported. “Good people don’t smoke marijuana,” Sessions opined last year.

It’s a far cry from what Department of Homeland Security Secretary John F. Kelly said about the drug Sunday.

In an interview on NBC’s “Meet the Press,” Kelly told host Chuck Todd that marijuana was “not a factor” in the war on drugs and argued that “arresting a lot of users” wasn’t the right solution to the country’s drug problems.

Kelly, a retired Marine Corps general, was discussing border enforcement when Todd asked him if legalizing marijuana would help or hurt his efforts to control the flow of drugs into the United States.

“Yeah, marijuana is not a factor in the drug war,” Kelly said.

I like that one! But now let’s juxtapose that with some fact checking. You know – as Donald Trump calls it “fake news!”. Where’s Trumpy at?

Thanks Trumpy! Now Trump must be talking out of his ass or Attorney General Beauregard is telling him what to think.

Two days after saying that marijuana was “not a factor” in the in the drug war, the Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security warned that it was “a potentially dangerous gateway drug” and said his agency would pursue the enforcement of laws against it.

DHS doesn’t have much legal authority to pursue drug-related arrests of U.S. citizens, if they aren’t involved in transnational crime — that responsibility falls to local law enforcement, the Drug Enforcement Agency, the FBI and others.

But the agency pursues the flow of illicit drugs into the United States through U.S. Customs and Border Protection, and considers past drug charges and convictions in the cases of undocumented immigrants who could be deported by Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

In an interview with NBC’s Chuck Todd Sunday, DHS Secretary John Kelly said that marijuana was “not a factor” in the drug war (methamphetamines, cocaine and heroin were, he said). He seemed to change his tone Tuesday in a speech at George Washington University, according to a copy of prepared remarks provided by DHS.

So what kind of drugs could the Trump administration be on? They’ve got to be smoking crack. I mean there’s no strain of marijuana out there that could make someone think the kind of thoughts about marijuana that the Trump administration must be thinking. But there’s more:

Donald Trump said Monday that he believes that building a wall on the Mexican border will help stop the heroin and painkiller epidemic killing tens of thousands of Americans every year.

At a town hall meeting Monday in Columbus, Ohio, the Republican presidential nominee stressed the need to stop the flow of drugs into the United States, saying he would “cut off the source, build a wall.”

“If I win, I’m going to stop it,” he said, after being asked what he would do to address the opioid epidemic.

The number of US overdose deaths involving opioids, including prescription opioid pain relievers and heroin, has nearly quadrupled since 1999. But many of those deaths have been linked to prescription painkillers, which have been prescribed by American doctors and which are a gateway to heroin addiction.


So Trump’s plan to keep drugs out of America is to build a wall around the Mexican border, and to make Mexico pay for it. That’s like getting in a bar fight, and the guy who beats the shit out of you makes you pay his tab. And what good is a wall going to do? Sea and air travel still exist. And how do you expect to stop the influx of legal painkillers coming from Merck, GSK and Bayer out of the hands of addicts? A dome would be more effective than a wall.

Got to love it. But the only thing the wall will really do is symbolize the terrible choice we made in 2016. Yes, thank you! But would you be surprised in the least to learn that Trump is cutting funding for the Drug Control Office?

WASHINGTON — When he was running for office, Donald J. Trump promised to rid America of the scourge of drugs, vowing to crack down on dealers and invest heavily in programs to get heroin and other opioids off the streets.

But on Friday, President Trump’s administration revealed plans to gut the 2018 budget of his Office of National Drug Control Policy. According to an Office of Management and Budget document obtained by The New York Times, the White House is proposing to slash the drug policy office budget by about 95 percent, to just $24 million from $388 million.

The cuts would mean the office could lose up to 33 employees. The budget would also eliminate grant programs it administers, including the High Intensity Drug Trafficking Areas Program and the Drug-Free Communities Support Program. According to the document, the Trump administration thinks the programs are duplicative of other federal and state initiatives.

[font size="8"]Fundies Say The Darndest Things[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen it’s time for “Fundies Say The Darndest Things”!!!!! Yay!!!! Now here’s how this is going to work. This week, the fundamentalists turned out in droves to say some completely fucking insane, evil, horrible, hateful things. And when you think one can’t get worse, along comes another. I’ll give you this one from Mike Huckabee to start with – So this week, Twitter's worst comedian strikes again. And this one is indescribable. Mike Huckabee put out a tweet that is so jaw dropping, stunningly idiotic that both sides of your brain just shut down and go "LET'S FIGURE IT OUT!!!!!!"


I just…. How… why… who… what… where… Does he even know how you celebrate Cinco De Mayo? You don't celebrate it by drinking an entire bottle of hot sauce unless you want to tear a hole in your stomach lining and spend the night in urgent care. If that’s the way Mike Huckabee wants to celebrate Cinco De Mayo, that’s his choosing. And Speedy Gonzales? Is there any character more racist than that, or have no Latino-themed cartoon characters been created since 1956? But no! You celebrate by drinking tequila! And I'm not talking about your hipster Patron or your frat boy Jose Cuervo. Or whatever the fuck this thing is:

But no, you need real tequila. And a real understanding of what this holiday is about. And I can guarantee that it doesn't involve Trump brand taco bowls. And if he's trying to be funny, that's what we call a swing and a miss. But now we get into even crazier territory – take a look at what Rick Wiles said last week:

End Times radio host Rick Wiles interviewed “financial analyst” Jim Willie of GoldenJackass.com on his “Trunews” radio program on Friday, where Willie asserted that Queen Elizabeth is a child-killing satanist lizard who is literally inhuman and that Bill and Hillary Clinton are both cannibals.

Willie claimed that the announcement that Prince Philip will retire from public life was really a cover story to conceal the fact that “the Queen Lizard,” as he called Queen Elizabeth, has died.

“I think the Duke made his announcement because he wanted to get out of Dodge,” Willie said. “The satanists are on the run. The Queen Lizard is a satanist. There are lots and lots of missing children at Buckingham Palace from the tours. Diana was killed—I mean murdered—because she was on the verge of revealing some of the satanism and some of the lizard stuff. These are very sick people and they not all human.”

Willie went on to warn that former president Bill Clinton “is at death’s door” due to “some form of very advanced venereal disease” combined with a brain disease brought on by cannibalism.

Now I don’t speak stupid, but even this has to be one of the most fucking insane things I’ve ever seen them say. I mean… Bill Clinton is a cannibal? Or is he an actual cannibal like Shia LeBeouf?

That never gets old. Next up in Fundies Say The Darndest Things, we have Theodore Shoebat, who we have discussed on this show a great many times.

Extremist anti-LGBTQ activist Theodore Shoebat, who was featured in a radically anti-gay documentary made by Janet Porter called “Light Wins” along with various Religious Right activists and Republican elected officials back in 2015, posted a new video on his website last week insisting that it should not be considered a hate crime to kill “fags.”

While ranting about Tucker Carlson’s interview with Caitlyn Jenner last week and demanding that Jenner be arrested and executed for promoting “perversion,” Shoebat declared that murdering gays should not qualify as a hate crime.

“Fags kill each other all the time,” he said, “and the reason why they kill each other all the time is because they’re demon-possessed people and Satan wants them to kill each other because Satan hates humanity.”

“If someone kills a homosexual because they’re a homosexual, that should not be considered a hate crime,” he continued, “because right when you start considering that a hate crime, then you might as well just say, ‘Well, if someone kills somebody because they’re a pedophile, that should also be a hate crime.'”

Yeah because genocide is so hilarious isn’t it! I mean do these people believe the things they say? Or are they like that Lamar Bell guy from UCLA and they just say stupid shit like they want a billion dollars because it brings them money? But genocide? Really? You’re going there? We’re going to talk about what’s going on in Chechnya later, but it’s horrifying. And if you think it’s funny it isn’t. Now just remember – the fundamentalists want to end the Johnson Amendment. And if you think we’re kidding about this: Donald Trump reiterated this point last week:

With hundreds of executive branch jobs yet to be filled, the Trump administration needs a lot of people. One person it especially needs is Goldilocks, who might save the president from his habit of doing too much or too little but seldom getting anything just right.

In the executive order he signed Thursday titled “Promoting Free Speech and Religious Liberty,” Donald Trump had a rare opportunity to pursue a small yet significant change that would have accomplished both of his stated purposes. Instead, he ceremoniously unveiled a heaping platter of nothingburgers.

In February, at the National Prayer Breakfast, Trump extolled religious freedom and promised: “I will get rid of and totally destroy the Johnson Amendment and allow our representatives of faith to speak freely and without fear of retribution. I will do that. Remember.”

And in case you’re wondering what makes Fundies Say The Darndest Things, could it possibly be brain damage?

Hunting for God in our grey matter seems to be a popular topic for neurologists, with past studies comparing religious highs with drug-induced ones, linking spiritual experiences with neurotransmitters such as serotonin, and identifying which parts of the brain (if any) could be responsible for a faith in the supernatural.

Now a new study has now found that those with damage to a section of the brain associated with planning become less open to new ideas, explaining why some people are more likely to become extreme in their religious beliefs.

Or could it be Trump’s “spiritual advisor” – someone who has a “church” where the members funnel insane amounts of money to her in exchange for… absolutely nothing?

President Donald Trump’s spiritual advisor, Paula White, claims credit for converting Trump to Christianity. In exchange, she has been awarded exclusive access to the White House where she advises Trump on everything from legislative priorities to judicial appointments as chair of the Evangelical Advisory Council.

White is not an ordinary pastor. She is a Prosperity Gospel adherent who believes that God’s plan for her is a luxurious, consumerist lifestyle. White has spent decades exploiting her followers who are mostly poor and working class people of color.

Pastor White demands that her congregation members donate huge portions of their incomes to her church which leaves them poor and allows her and her husband to live in a mansion stocked with designer clothes and luxury cars. When her congregation members have no money to give, she insists that they put jewelry and other valuables in the offering collection.


[font size="8"]Republicans Vs Talk Shows[/font]

So the GOP is apparently going after talk shows now. Because there’s apparently no other battles to be fought. Yes that is the world in which we live. Trump supporters are the angriest group of people on the planet and they cant stand it when someone doesn’t kiss Trumpenfuror’s ass 100%. Gee I wonder what would happen if they were to find out about this show? But that’s beside the point. You know last week, one of my favorite talk show hosts – Jimmy Kimmel – had this to say about Trumpcare in the wake of his son being born with a birth defect:

But if you listened to the talk shows or anyone who has a conservative opinion…

I mean, really, Jimmy, does your newborn child not mean more to you than petty politics? How do you look at the miracle of your child and think — partisan politics!

That is not to say he didn’t also lie and claim to be above partisan politics — even as he was pushing exactly that.

“Let’s stop this nonsense,” he said. “This isn’t football; there are no teams. We are the team — it’s the United States. Don’t let their partisan squabbles divide us on something every decent person wants.”

Yes, that’s right. He just had a kid and the kid nearly died and he wants you to know that if you are not for bloated federal bureaucracy, socialized medicine, higher taxes and tons of more debt piled onto your grandchildren, then you are not a “decent person.”

Actually Jim, if you were a “decent person,” you would shut your fat trap about partisan politics and go care for your kid, who just nearly died, you elitist creep.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! That is a pretty fucking new low, and this is the party that elected Donald Trump as their president. And you know the old saying – when you’re already in a hole, stop digging:

An Alabama Congressman has prompted a wave a backlash with his comment Monday regarding health insurance coverage of those with pre-existing conditions.

Speaking with CNN's Jake Tapper about House plans to vote on a revised health insurance bill, Rep. Mo Brooks, R-AL, referenced people who lead "good lives" and said they should not have to pay as much as others.

"My understanding is that (the new proposal) will allow insurance companies to require people who have higher health care costs to contribute more to the insurance pool," Brooks said. "That helps offset all these costs, thereby reducing the cost to those people who lead good lives, they're healthy, they've done the things to keep their bodies healthy. And right now, those are the people--who've done things the right way--that are seeing their costs skyrocketing."

Wait, so let me extrapolate what Mr. Brooks is saying – so people who “live good lives” will have a better quality of life? What if you’re born in a shit hole? Like most rural, extreme far right fundamentalist places in Alabama, for instance? And so that means no more late night booze and hooker binges? Come on, how’s a single guy supposed to spend his Saturday nights? Oh and by the way here’s how Jimmy Kimmel responded:

Now let’s juxtapose that with another one of my favorite talk shows – Late Night With Stephen Colbert. You know last week during the intro we talked about Colbert’s controversial monologue about his joke with Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin. And in case you forgot about that, let’s roll the tape on that one!

Well, now here’s how the republicans have responded. I mean come on, let us have something. You guys have a monopoly on the media and the government. But take away my Colbert, and heads are going to roll!

Late night talk show host Stephen Colbert’s controversial joke about President Trump drew the attention of the Federal Communications Commission. The agency received “a number” of complaints about Colbert’s commentary earlier in the week, according to the FCC’s chief.

FCC Chairman Ajit Pai promised to “take the appropriate action” following a comprehensive investigation of Colbert’s remarks.

The FCC's response will depend on whether Colbert’s remarks are considered “obscene.”

“We are going to take the facts that we find and we are going to apply the law as it’s been set out by the Supreme Court and other courts and we’ll take the appropriate action,” he told Talk Radio 1210 WPHT Thursday.

“Traditionally, the agency has to decide, if it does find a violation, what the appropriate remedy should be,” he said. "A fine, of some sort, is typically what we do.”

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Oh by the way, here’s how Stephen Colbert responded. I love this man:


By the way it’s funny how the Trump crowd – the people who pride themselves on their anti-political correctness agenda – suddenly care about homophobia! I mean really! Do you actually care about homophobia or are you just doing it to piss us off?

“Now, folks, if you saw my monologue on Monday, you know that I was a little upset with Donald Trump for insulting a friend of mine, so, at the end of my monologue, I had a few choice insults for the president in return,” Colbert continued. “I don’t regret that. I believe he can take care of himself. I have jokes, he has the launch codes, so… it’s a fair fight.”

But then, a tiny mea culpa: “So, while I would do it again, I would change a few words that were cruder than they needed to be. Now I’m not going to repeat the phrase, but I just want to say, for the record, life is short, and anybody who expresses their love for another person in their own way, is to me, an American hero,” offered Colbert.

“And I think we can all agree on that,” he added. “ I hope even the president and I can agree on that—nothing else but that.”

[font size="8"]Eric Trump[/font]

Eric Trump. I think even Beavis and Butthead would be embarrassed by Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. And this one falls under the category of “When you’re in a hole, stop digging”. Unfortunately we wont get to cover the Sally Yates hearings as they’re ongoing, we’ll get to that this week. But the Trump sons are even dumber than you might imagine. So here’s what Beavis, er, Uday, er, Eric Trump said this week in regards to his father’s business dealings:

The federal investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia appears to be proceeding in fits and starts. The House Intelligence Committee, which was once taking point, began on strong footing with a blockbuster hearing featuring F.B.I. director James Comey and National Security Agency director Mike Rogers, but quickly fell prey to congressional politics. Chairman Devin Nunes stepped away from the probe amid revelations that he had been coordinating with the Trump administration—one of the targets of the inquiry he was supposedly leading. A hearing that was to feature testimony from former acting attorney general Sally Yates, among others with potentially crucial information, was abruptly, and mysteriously, delayed as the investigation ground to a halt. Now, with the momentum having shifted to the intelligence committee in the Senate, Yates will finally speak her piece Thursday morning in what is expected to be another day of bad press for the White House. But perhaps the F.B.I., House, Senate, and Justice Department could all save themselves some time by simply speaking directly with Trump’s second son, Eric Trump—or better yet, catching him for a few minutes on the golf course.

Golf writer James Dodson apparently had such luck in 2014, when he visited the elder Trump’s new golf course in North Carolina at the urging of a P.R. flack. “He kept saying things like, ‘Oh, Donald Trump loves your books,’” he told WBUR over the weekend. “And I kept saying, ‘Donald Trump doesn’t read books, I’m told. And he hadn’t a clue who I am.’ Anyway, he called three or four times. Finally, I said yes.”

Wow, that one got the Jumbotron facepalm! That’s epic! But why would you say that to a golf reporter? I mean come on, your father is under multiple investigations for possible Russian involvement in the 2016 elections that gave us his ass. And of course – Eric Trump responded in the most Trump way possible – yup, you guessed it!

On Monday, Eric blasted the writer's account of their interaction.

"This story is completely fabricated and just another example of why there is such a deep distrust of the media in our country. #FakeNews," he tweeted.

Donald Trump's campaign associates and his businesses have repeatedly come under fire since the 2016 election over questions of their ties to Russia.

Some of his campaign associates are currently under investigation for their contact with Russian officials. Russian interference in the US election is also the subject of a Senate Intelligence Committee investigation.

Thanks Trumpy! But folks – Eric Trump isn’t a fighter! He’s a uniter! With as divided as America is now – is this really the guy we want uniting us? I mean really?

A battle continues. While the larger war—between our beautiful, wild-maned president Donald Trump and those fools and losers dissuading him from trying to pull off the tablecloth without knocking over all the dishes—rages on, a smaller, ongoing side skirmish demands our attention today. It’s between Trump’s son, the dashing businessman Eric Trump, and a so-called comedian named Chelsea Handler, who has a show on Netflix because she’s too scared to go on network television and try to compete with Donald’s amazing Apprentice ratings.

Back in March, Handler—lost in some kind of self-admitted marijuana reverie—tweeted about Eric’s wife being pregnant, saying, “Just what we need. Another person with those jeans.” She later owned up to the typo and blamed it on the devil’s weed, but the fact remains that she tried to deliver a powerful burn, but, as tends to happen when playing with fire, wound up burning herself. Now, a month and change later, Eric Trump will appear on Dr. Oz on Tuesday—because he and his wife are looking for an OB/GYN and they’ve heard that Dr. Oz knows what babies are—and Page Six reports that Eric says something about Handler’s joke on the show.

[font size="8"]Marine LaPen[/font]

For this entry, we’re going to take a dip in the international Conservative Idiots file and head to France. Viva La France!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whew!!!! Whew!!!! Thank you. So over the weekend the French held their elections between the liberal candidate Emmanuel Macron, and the Trump / Putin / 4chan candidate Marine LaPen. Who united French nationalism and emboldened France’s white supremacists and neo-Nazis the way Trump did in the United States. Only difference between the two is – LaPen *KNOWS* she is emboldening white supremacists. But here’s why she lost:

Lesson 1: This election was less surprising than others, but voter abstention is a noteworthy trend

As French scholars know too well, French citizens often surprise observers. That happened in the 2002 presidential ballot, when the Front National (FN) candidate, Jean Marie Le Pen, shocked France by coming in second during the first round, knocking the incumbent Socialist prime minister, Lionel Jospin, out of the race. In a similar surprise, French voters rejected the 2005 referendum on the European Constitution.

But this year’s election was not a political earthquake. France is suffering from a slow economic recovery, with a 10 percent unemployment rate and only 1.2 percent GDP growth in 2016. With the rest of Europe, it faces an unresolved and unprecedented migrant crisis. Its two most recent presidents have been highly unpopular: Nicolas Sarkozy failed to get reelected; and François Hollande’s record as the most unpopular president prevented him from running again. And so a vote rejecting the establishment is readily understood.

Wow, that sounds strangely like the United States doesn’t it? I mean no one does voter abstention quite like the American GOP. Surely that can’t be the only coincidence can it?

Lesson 2: The French party system is changing from within

Across the developed world, voters are making clear their disenchantment with political elites. So it’s no accident that all the candidates attempted to define themselves as anti-system. This was much easier, of course, for the parties of la France protestataire — the parties voicing fundamental disagreement with the political and economic status quo. Together, first-round scores for the extreme left, radical left (the France Insoumise of Jean-Luc Mélenchon) and the extreme right amounted to 42.61 percent. That distrust has been accelerated by recent corruption scandals. For instance, François Fillon, candidate of the main right-wing party, was accused of nepotism (“Penelopegate”), with charges pending on embezzlement. And E.U. authorities are investigating Marine Le Pen, charging that she illegally used E.U. funding on her presidential campaign.

Holy shit! Disenfranchisement with “political elites”? That doesn’t sound anything at all like our elections does it? What’s behind door #3?

Lesson 3: The French Fifth Republic has rebounded, but the Front National is no longer a fringe party

The single most important lesson from this election is the weakening of one unwritten rule of the French model: the “cordon sanitaire” imposed against the FN. By securing its first-ever political endorsement from a conservative politician — Nicolas Dupont-Aignan, a dissident Gaullist — the FN has consolidated as a mainstream party. Similarly, the radical left-wing Jean-Luc Mélenchon’s refusal to join the “republican front” against the extreme right contributed to further normalizing the FN.

How much does this sound like the US elections? So lets’ recap – you have voter abstention, which sounds a lot like the GOP. You have disenfranchisement with “political elites”. Which again sounds a lot like the republicans after the 2016 election. You also have the rise of an lunatic fringe novelty party that was once considered ideally insane. Which sounds a lot like the Breitbart / Infowars arm of the republican party. Now what’s behind door number 4?

Lesson 4: It’s all about the June legislative elections

The biggest unknown now is whether and how Macron and Le Pen will transform their movements into solid party structures capable of standing in all 577 legislative districts. France’s current system makes it relatively easy for presidents to win majorities in the National Assembly. However, local notables and party structures are influential in winning local seats — and, therefore, in creating parliamentary majorities. To really start changing things, as he promised, Macron will need to build coalitions and a party.

[font size="8"]Eminem Vs. New Zealand[/font]

We need some music here, can we get some music?

God damn it!

No!!!! I mean we need the right music for this entry! Come on!

Yeah that’s more like it!! So this entry is about Eminem. Anyone remember the Vanilla Ice defense back in the 90s? It was when the surviving members of the legendary band Queen sued Vanilla Ice for using samples of their song “Under Pressure”. Well the suit ruled in favor of Vanilla Ice based on a few chords in the song and it’s been the butt of jokes in the music industry ever since. Well, in this day and age when anyone can put out an album without going the traditional routes, how do you stay original? Well, this is not one of those times. And it’s the Vanilla Ice defense all over again.

Eminem is far from feeling flattered that his hit song, “Lose Yourself,” was reportedly being used by New Zealand’s conservative National Party without his permission.

The Detroit-based music publishers for the 44-year-old American rapper are suing the National Party, alleging the soundtrack for a 2014 election campaign ad copied the artist’s acclaimed 2002 song. Titled “Eminem Esque,” the track has a beat that’s familiar to the original.

The party previously said it purchased the track through an Australian-based supplier and doesn’t believe it has infringed anyone’s copyright.

Now if you think we’re joking about this – this is real. This shit happened. Let’s take a look at the video:

And there’s more to this. This really is the Vanilla Ice defense circa 2017.

Eminem has taken New Zealand's governing party to court over a music track it used for a campaign ad.

The US rapper says the song, used in the 2014 advert by the National Party, was an unlicensed version of Lose Yourself, one of his biggest hits.

But the party's lawyers argue it was not actually Lose Yourself, but a track called Eminem-esque which they bought from a stock music library.

The case began on Monday, with the two tracks played in court.

A lawyer for Eight Mile Style - a publishing group representing the artist - said Lose Yourself was "iconic" and "without doubt the jewel in the crown of Eminem's musical work".

But the interesting thing is this case began 3 years ago and is just now festering. But the court footage that was obtained was certifiably insane. Let’s roll tape first and then discuss.

US rapper Eminem is suing New Zealand’s National party for allegedly using his Lose Yourself song in a campaign ad to get the prime minister, John Key, re-elected.

The Ministry of Justice on Tuesday confirmed that proceedings were filed in the Wellington registry of the high court.

Eminem’s publishers also made a statement saying they were seeking damages for copyright infringement against the National party.

The Detroit-based copyright holders allege “unauthorised use has been made of Eminem’s Grammy and Academy Award-winning song Lose Yourself in election campaign advertising run by the National party in the lead-up to the 2014 New Zealand general election”.

By the way, I love that John Oliver had a field day this week on this whole trial:

[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest Round 14: Flyover League Championship[/font]

16 states will enter, and only one state will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State! If you need a reminder of the conferences, there’s the Batshit Conference, the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, the Gun Nut Conference, and the Family Values Conference. Folks , the Final Four has been set! This is it folks! This is the penultimate round of our long running Stupidest State Contest! Yes, penultimate means “next to last”, don’t you know? It’s like the “Granite State” episode of Breaking Bad – you know the final one is coming, and you wont know what it will bring! And then for the finale, we’re going to dive on a subject that all four states have in common that could be taken away from them as soon as next week – sanctuary cities! But let’s do a recap! Last week, Texas easily knocked off Kansas to advance to the finals. But who will be their opponent? Will it be the gun nuts in Montana, or will it be the racists and misogynists in Tennessee? Now what do you get when you combine reckless gun laws with reckless religious laws? You get one of the craziest things possible – Doomsday Prepping! And we are going to do a deep dive on this subject and how it affects both states. Did you see that recent John Goodman Doomsday flick “10 Cloverfield Lane”? Yeah it’s kind of like that. Alex Jones sells lots of shit aimed at the prepping faithful. The Prepping Faithful by the way, I saw them at the Troubadour last week, pretty awesome band! So who will challenge Texas for the crown? Will it be Montana or Tennessee? So let’s get out our brackets, shall we?

[font size="6"]Round 14: Flyover League Championship: Montana Vs. Tennessee[/font]

[font size="4"]Montana [/font]

Got to love Frank Zappa. So the state of Montana is home to some of the world’s craziest Doomsday Preppers. Now you might be wondering, how did we draw this conclusion? Well, part of it stems from Montana’s neighbors to the west - Idaho, who have been busy feeding the doomsday prepping frenzy, and frenzy is a word I hardly ever get to use. But what about doomsday prepping? Before we get into it, let’s talk about what they were doing in Idaho. There’s a colony being setup in far rural Idaho, called “The Citadel”. Let’s explain more:

ST. MARIES, Idaho — A group of survivalists wants to build a giant walled fortress in the woods of the Idaho Panhandle, a medieval-style city where residents would be required to own weapons and stand ready to defend the compound if society collapses.

The proposal is called the Citadel and has created a buzz among folks in this remote logging town 70 miles southeast of Spokane, Wash. The project would more than double the population of Benewah County, home to 9,000 souls.

Locals have many questions, but organizers so far are pointing only to a website billing the Citadel as “A Community of Liberty.”

“There is no leader,” Christian Kerodin, a convicted felon who is a promoter of the project, wrote in a brief email to The Associated Press. “There is a significant group of equals involved ... each bringing their own professional skills and life experiences to the group.

“It is very much a `grass-roots’ endeavor,’” Kerodin wrote, declining to provide any additional details.

Yes – be prepared. Because a bunch of armed, crazy lunatics living in the mountains with a truck load of guns practicing for combat that’s never going to happen. Where have I heard that before? Anyone, does that ring a bell? OK. Now let’s go back to Montana. So what do the nexus of batshit crazy gun laws and batshit crazy religious laws get you? Why they get you this.

Despite the remoteness of these homes, they're not backwoods shacks with sagging metal roofs. Some of her listings sell for more than $1 million if there's a lot of land and if water rights are included. The one with the helicopter pad is a spiffy, two-story log home with a wraparound porch. It has solar panels and inside, a backup generator, luxury bathrooms and a kitchen with granite countertops and stainless steel appliances.

"Just because you're off-grid or being sustainable doesn't mean you have to be looking like the old hick miner," she says, laughing, "with grass on your roof or whatever. You can do anything."

In the 1990s, the remote Montana mountains developed a reputation as an enclave for Y2K worriers, doomsday cults and the Unabomber. The state still gets made fun of a lot. Mondale is sensitive to this. One of her current listings was previously owned by one of those doomsday cults, but, she says, what's going on today is different. People want to be more self-sustaining, less dependent on the outside, grow their own food, that kind of thing.

"These are not crazy people," she says.


I like that one! Plus the clarifier “These are not crazy people”. Of course they are! You’re preparing for the apocalypse by living as remotely as possible! How is that not “batshit fucking crazy”? Well, Montana is home to Yaak Valley, where the idea of doomsday prepping has just been taken to some very weird and unusual extremes:

On the night after Thanksgiving, I wander into the Dirty Shame Saloon, in Yaak, Montana, with a few friends. A half-dozen people congregate around the pool table, not playing pool. Camo and hunter’s orange are on abundant display. A Confederate flag hangs behind the bar; shotguns are embedded in the counter.

We’ve stopped here out of curiosity about the Yaak Valley, and the people, all 250 of them, who make it home. The valley is known, in its small way, for a few things: the writings of Rick Bass, a former petroleum geologist who has long and ferociously defended it; the haven it has provided to some of the West’s darker elements — doomsday preppers, hermits and a few white supremacists — and the “World Famous Dirty Shame Saloon,” with its reputation for rowdy drunkenness. The valley, wedged up against Canada, is a funnel for wildlife to travel south and then out across the West. In its dripping woods, species from the Pacific Northwest forests and the Rocky Mountains live side by side. It’s a small valley, Bass, a Texas transplant, writes in The Book of Yaak: “Everything is all crammed in on top of everything else.” But only around the Dirty Shame do the human inhabitants live close enough together to put on any appearance of a town. Still, they’ve left their mark in the form of the logging roads stitched across the valley, hemming in the grizzlies, the caribou, the wolves.

So if you’re keeping score at home – Montana is home to white supremacists, hermits, doomsday preppers, extreme outdoor survivalists, and drunken rednecks. Just the exact toxic pool of people who we’re looking to draw from for this contest. But even Montana’s most hardcore doomsday preppers – you know the kind of people like you see in the flick “10 Cloverfield Lane” – are doubting their own movement even in the day and age of Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un threatening nuclear war:

Don and Jonna Bradway recently cashed out of the stock market and invested in gold and silver. They have stockpiled food and ammunition in the event of a total economic collapse or some other calamity commonly known around here as "The End of the World As We Know It" or "SHTF" - the day something hits the fan.

The Bradways fled California, a state they said is run by "leftists and non-Constitutionalists and anti-freedom people," and settled on several wooded acres of north Idaho five years ago. They live among like-minded conservative neighbors, host Monday night Bible study around their fire pit, hike in the mountains and fish from their boat. They melt lead to make their own bullets for sport shooting and hunting - or to defend themselves against marauders in a world-ending cataclysm.

"I'm not paranoid, I'm really not," said Bradway, 68, a cheerful Army veteran with a bushy handlebar mustache who favors Hawaiian shirts. "But we're prepared. Anybody who knows us knows that Don and Jonna are prepared if and when it hits the fan."

The Bradways are among the vanguard moving to an area of the Pacific Northwest known as the American Redoubt, a term coined in 2011 by survivalist author and blogger James Wesley, Rawles (the comma is deliberate) to describe a settlement of the God-fearing in a lightly populated territory that includes Idaho, Montana, Wyoming, and the eastern parts of Washington and Oregon.

I’m guessing that by “something”, they mean shit.

[font size="4"]Tennessee [/font]

Now let’s explore the flip side of doomsday prepping – apocalyptic preaching. Which Tennessee has in droves. Now I define this as – did you see the movie Kingsman: The Secret Service? There’s a scene where there’s a fight in the church where Samuel L Jackson’s character Richmond Valentine triggers the whole church to kill each other. And that scene has a sermon from a preacher who is very similar to the Westboro Baptist Church. So we should go through this in more detail. But you know – doomsday prepping isn’t just a conservative only thing. Even the liberal preppers are getting in on it, and it’s becoming a huge market in Tennessee as companies are seeing the possibilities of selling “off the grid” properties:

Colin Waugh bought a shotgun four weeks before November’s election.

An unapologetic liberal, he was no fan of firearms. He had never owned one before. But Waugh, a 31-year-old from Independence, Missouri, couldn’t shake his fears of a Donald Trump presidency — and all of the chaos it could bring. He imagined hate crimes and violence waged by extremists emboldened by the Republican nominee’s brash, divisive rhetoric. He pictured state-sanctioned roundups of Muslims, gays, and outspoken critics.

“I kept asking myself, ‘Do I want to live under tyranny?'” said Waugh, who supported Bernie Sanders in the Democratic primary and later backed Hillary Clinton. “The answer was absolutely not.”

With Trump now days away from assuming the White House, Waugh’s preparing for the worst. He’s made “bug-out bags” stuffed with ammo, energy bars, and assorted survival gear for his wife and their three cats. He’s begun stowing water and browsing real estate listings in Gunnison County, Colorado, which he’s determined to be a “liberal safe-haven.” Last month, Waugh added a 9mm handgun to his arsenal.

And in fact there’s a huge doomsday prepper market in rural eastern Tennessee. They call themselves “The Mountain Preppers”. And unlike Montana doomsday preppers – Tennessee’s doomsday preppers have the added bonus of high altitudes.

(WBIR-Sevierville) A billion-dollar industry is finding some of its strongest support in East Tennessee.

Prepping for doomsday scenarios has become good business, including everything from emergency preparedness to self reliance.

The Mountain Prepper Home, Gun & Outdoor Expo is taking place this weekend at the Sevierville Convention Center. It's the largest prepper show east of the Mississippi River and, quite possibly, the largest in the nation.

"I don't mean to scare people because that's really not what this is about. These are not nutty people; these are people who are just preparing for the future," said Bill Vernon, one of the promoters for the Mountain Prepper Expo.

Dustin Corum with Corum Pump Service and Well Drilling in Knoxville noticed it's a growing industry. He sells a Simple Pump that is able to pump water from 325 feet below ground, without electricity.

"We've seen people drilling water wells just for this system right here to be able to have their own water source," Corum said.

Now getting back to what I was talking about earlier – with apocalyptic preaching, that’s the other side of the doomsday prepper coin. These are the people who make their living preaching about the apocalypse, which keeps the doomsday prepping industry in check. And Tennessee is home to some of the craziest preachers like this in the country.

Tennesseee has been a surprising home of new religious groups like Ruthven's, in part because of its culture of do-it-yourself religion. Believers are encouraged to interpret the Bible for themselves rather than relying on denominational doctrines.

The Bible Belt has a history of charismatic preachers who have been accused of leading their flocks astray with unorthodox beliefs.

Among them: the late Wayne Jolley, a prosperity gospel preacher with a history of abuse and ties to the Christian music business; Gwen Shamblin, the controversial founder of The Remnant, known for her weight-loss advice and unorthodox beliefs; and Tony Alamo, a glitzy former evangelist who once had a church on Nashville’s Music Row and is now jailed for child abuse.

Tennessee is also the home base of Twelve Tribes, an end-times communal sect known for its Yellow Deli chain of restaurants, which are run by group members. Another of the group’s restaurants, the Blue Blinds Bakery in Plymouth, Mass., recently made headlines after an ex-employee took over its Facebook page and accused the Twelve Tribes of being a cult that preaches racism and corporal punishment. Twelve Tribes leaders deny the claims.

By the way, what is it with creepy psychopaths and the song “Hey Venus”? We saw that in Dexter with John Lithgow’s character and he was obsessed with that song. So even the billionaires of this world want some of that sweet, sweet doomsday prepping action. And it’s not just limited to Tennesee! Mountain prepping is a thing that’s becoming bank for America’s billionaires.

With Donald Trump’s election and the rising perils of war, climate upheaval, accelerating inequality, and civil unrest, some of the richest people in the United States are making escape plans.

In a recent New Yorker article, “Doomsday Prep for the Super Rich,” Evan Osnos writes that “even financiers who supported Trump for president … have been unnerved at the ways his insurgent campaign seems to have hastened a collapse of respect for established institutions.”

Osnos recently visited survivalist condos being built in former missile silos in Kansas and interviewed Silicon Valley billionaires and centimillionaires who are hedging against future social breakdown by investing in “bug out” escape homes in remote corners of the world.

This idea of privatized survival is extremely limited. In the face of growing inequalities and ecological crisis, the wealthy will not be able to build a wall high enough or a silo deep enough.

And by the way – in case you’re wondering whether or not you should build that bunker, regardless of what state you live in, here’s some good advice.

If you're expecting the apocalypse should your candidate not win on Tuesday, maybe a fully stocked, underground bunker is moving higher on your list of must-haves.

A Google search of the word "prepper" brings up more than 6 million hits. Websites of all persuasion are ready to share information and products tailored to surviving whatever personal apocalypse the reader has in mind. Survival bunkers are big with most of those sites.


Various prepper websites place the cost of an underground, 2,500-square-foot, reinforced concrete bunker at $30,000 for a basic shell to $60,000 for a similarly sized shelter with amenities like mechanical ventilation, bathroom, kitchen and multiple rooms. Some luxury bunkers have been priced at millions of dollars.

Concealment underground, for both its protection from blasts up to and including nuclear devices and concealment from ravaging hordes above, is a primary concern on many prepper survival websites. Having 8 to 10 feet of earth over the bunker seems to be the average recommendation.

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is… [/font]

WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!! Whew!!! Whew!!!! And this was a very tough, hard fought battle that went into a double overtime. But Montana has pulled it out! They will face Texas in the national championship next week. Final score – 105 – 95. Cut the net, guys! You earned it! Finally, next week we will be crowning our Stupidest State! We will have the matchup, the post game interview, the coaches’ post game press conference, the statement from the commissioner and the presentation of the head up the ass trophy. And of course we will end by singing that song we all know and love!

[font size="8"]And now this:[/font]
[font size="8"]Cold War Kids[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen , playing their new song “Love Is Mystical” from their excellent new album “LA Divine”, please welcome Cold War Kids!

Yeah how about that… wait what? My producer is telling me that we need a cliff hanger ending to set up the season finale.

See you next week for the Season 2 season finale! It will be epic!

Hey republicans! A little secret about the economy and healthcare!

You may complain about freeloaders and people mooching off your paycheck, but there's a little secret in it for you. There's people who *ARE* mooching off your paycheck, but that danged "liberal media" won't report the truth! And why is that? You may point out that "illegals" and "the poor" are the ones who are mooching off your paycheck. But in reality that's simply not true. In reality you know the person who's really mooching off your paycheck? I'll give you a little hint.


It's not the people you would think. You've been lied to and played for chumps the last 40 years. Because all you listen to is angry right wing pundits like Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reillly and Alex Jones - millionaires who live in gaudy mega mansions and high rise apartments. And guess what? They pay nothing in taxes! So of course its' in their best interest to keep the GOP in power. In reality the real "freeloaders" who are "mooching off your paycheck" are the millionaires and billionaires of this world. It's the Kochs and the Mercers. It's Rex Tillerson - who could make a hundred *BILLION* if sanctions against the Russian government are lifted and Exxon can begin drilling in the Russian arctic. It's the DeVos family - who live in gigantic mega mansions and pay next to nothing in taxes. It's the clergy - whose combined annual income is in the trillions - and they don't pay a dime in taxes. It's Bill Gates. It's Mark Zuckerberg. It's John Schnatter who lives in a giant castle with a private golf course and told his 30,000 employees and Papa John's franchise owners to go fuck themselves when it comes to health care. And it's your fucking president - Donald J. Trump. Who lives in a giant gold tower with his name on it, flies in a jet with his name on it, and spends his weekends golfing at a gigantic mega resort for the billionaire class. Oh but remember he was going to work so hard on the weekends that he wouldn't have time for golf? Yeah he made that promise. So who are the real elitists in this picture here?

So the next time you want to complain about freeloaders - the biggest freeloaders of all are the people who pay you that minimum wage that's keeping you in debt. It's the credit card companies and student loan debt that's keeping you from achieving prosperity. You know the clergy and people like Alex Jones rail on the fact that we liberals hate prosperity. We don't hate prosperity - we want you to be successful. What we hate is the "prosperity gospel" - which Jones and pastors like Joel Osteen believe in - you know the idea that you can pray for money and eventually you'll get everything you want. You know, it's "The Secret" for extreme right wing religious nuts. And we all know "The Secret" is a steaming load of bullshit.

And the next time you complain about healthcare - think about how much profit the health insurance industry makes per quarter. And this is acceptable to you? And our costs aren't going down any time soon. You know there's a difference between .01 and .02% growth per quarter - and it's the reason why our costs aren't going down. So think about that the next time you rail on "freeloaders". Because the real freeloaders aren't who you would think.

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #2-22: Argo FOAK Yourself Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #2-22: Argo FOAK Yourself Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Ladies and gentlemen, before we get started – we are just two short weeks away from the season finale of season 2 of the Top 10. Now don’t be sad. It’s been fun. We’ve got some big plans for Season 3, including starting a Top 10 World Tour, and the possibility of launching our first ever Top 10 podcast! Yes, I am still researching the possibilities for this. Season 3 will start after the end of our Stupidest State contest. So we have to talk about Colbert on Monday. We’ll play the clip in a minute, but was what he said really *THAT* offensive? We had to put up with 8 years of taunts, death threats, Trump Tweets, the Tea Party, Glenn Beck, Steve King, and other vile, nasty shit that the GOP has said and done about Obama and Clinton the last 8 years. And now they’re in charge and they just cant let it go. And the poor little snowflakes have started a “Fire Colbert” campaign. So if you're keeping score at home – in the last 8 months, conservatives have staged boycotts against Hamilton, because they were “mean” to Mike Pence. They started an inexplicably insane campaign to get Starbucks to write “Trump” on their cups as a means of protest (?). They staged a boycott of Hawaii because judges have blocked Trump’s illegal and unconstitutional travel ban. They’ve also staged boycotts against Oreos, Star Wars, Nordstrom, Netflix, the Girl Scouts, the Boy Scouts, Budweiser and Pepsi. These are all real. I am not making any of these up! Hell, Ranker even has a list of the 15 things Trump supporters have boycotted. And now they’re staging a boycott against Colbert and CBS. We liberals have just one boycott going – and that’s against Trump himself. So I ask you this - who are the snowflakes again? But what Colbert said, was that really *THAT* offensive after Alex Jones called Obama a smelly demon from hell? And how would he know what demons from hell smell like? Or that crazy woman who said that Michelle Obama was an "ape in high heels"? Or any number of times Ted Nugent threatened to murder Obama? Oh and it's funny how the crowd that prides themselves on their anti-PC ignorance suddenly cares about homophobia. Shut the fuck up! Let’s take a look:

So where do we begin this week? Ladies and gentlemen, returning to the top 2 slots this week is of course President Donald J. Trump! Well done, take a bow! In the first slot – we’re going to talk Trump’s (1) insane penchant for war. And when you get history wrong and call a murderous dictator to heap praise on his “work” eliminating the opposition, what are you doing? It’s almost as if they want war – not just overseas, but here at home. At number 2 – Trump (2) gave a speech in Pittsburgh over the weekend and if you guessed it was batshit fucking crazy, you are correct! OMG he is certifiably insane. In the number 3 slot is former RNC chair and guy who keeps Jared Kushner and Steve Bannon from entering a UFC octagon, Reince Preibus. So did you know that the Trump administration is looking into “ending the 1st amendment”? Yeah that’s a thing that was discussed. And it could end the US as we know it. And I feel fine. In the fourth slot is Wyoming Senator Mike Enzi (4). So he made some crazy comments at a recent town hall meeting in Cheyenne, and it’s about what would happen if a guy were to wear a tutu while walking into a bar. So in protest we’re holding our first ever Top 10 fashion show. At number 5 is the NRA (5). So the NRA’s reckless disregard for the second amendment is getting them in some hot water as guns are banned from their Atlanta rally while Trump is speaking. What could go wrong? Meanwhile, Wayne La Pierre is making some hateful comments about Bernie Sanders.Taking the number 6 slot, we are going to introduce you to a new protest group calling itself “The Proud Boys” (6) that made its’ debut kicking ass against Antifa at UC Berkeley, but they’re even more batshit crazy than you might imagine. In the number 7 slot is Scott Baio. Yes, Chachi of the series “Joanie Loves Chachi” is under fire after shooting himself in the foot over the ensuing shit storm that followed when he said some horrible things about her, you are correct. And oh yes, he is a conservative idiot. Make no mistake about that. In the number 8 slot, we’re going to talk about United Airlines (8). So what happened this week? Well, we’re going to get to the bottom of why an unusually large rabbit was found dead on a flight from London to Chicago. Taking the number 9 (NEIN!!!!) slot, we’re going to talk about concert festivals because it’s that time of year again. But none so much a disaster as the Fyre Festival (9). Whew, boy they do good work. I guess? Finally this week – we’re nearing the end of our Stupidest State Contest and we will eventually crown our Stupidest State! But not before we get to the final four – and this week it’s the Layover League Championship – who will survive to go on to the NFFSA championship? Will it be Texas or Kansas and we will be doing something a bit different for this round, but we think you’ll like it! And we have some new live music for you – this time from a band I like to call “Mastodon”. Yay!!!!! They’re going on tour with Eagles Of Death Metal right now and it’s a great show from what I hear. Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

Come on sing it with me:

And you know – Donald J. Trump don’t know much about history. He don’t know much about biology. He don’t know much about science too. He don’t know much about the French he took. But he does know he loves… something. What that is we’re unclear of. So why is President Trump in such hot water over his Civil War remarks? Is he trying to incite a civil war? Because you know that’s what they secretly want, but they wont say it. In fact here’s Trump’s exact quote about the Civil War.

TRUMP: I mean, had Andrew Jackson been a little later, you wouldn't have had the Civil War. He was a very tough person, but he had a big heart. And he was really angry that -- he saw what was happening with regard to the Civil War. He said, “There's no reason for this.” People don't realize, you know, the Civil War — if you think about it, why? People don't ask that question, but why was there the Civil War? Why could that one not have been worked out?

And here’s what actually happened – this whole thing is fucked up. Trump lies so much that his lies begat his lies. Is this lie-ception? Does he lie so much that it blurs the line between truth and fiction? He doesn’t even get history right – and he’s the fucking president!

One glaring issue here: Jackson wasn't really angry about what was happening with the Civil War, because he died more than a decade (1845) before it started (1861). (Jackson in 1832 and 1833 oversaw the Nullification Crisis, in which Jackson used the threat of military force to make South Carolina pay tariffs. The situation was eventually resolved but is viewed as a precursor to the Civil War.)

But that small matter aside, this actually sounds pretty familiar for Trump. Just last week, in an interview with Reuters, Trump suggested there was really no reason for the Israelis and the Palestinians to have been fighting for all these decades.

“I want to see peace with Israel and the Palestinians,” Trump said. “There is no reason there's not peace between Israel and the Palestinians — none whatsoever. So we're looking at that, and we're also looking at the potential of going to Saudi Arabia.”

No reason whatsoever! You know, besides the whole claim-to-the-very-same-holy-land thing. Minor details.

And my favorite thing about this is that Trump would have failed the US Citizenship test because this question is on it:

In fact the LA Times (FAKE NEWS!!!!) ran a piece called “Why Trump Lies” that’s worth reading when you get the chance.

In Donald Trump’s America, the mere act of reporting news unflattering to the president is held up as evidence of bias. Journalists are slandered as “enemies of the people.”

Facts that contradict Trump’s version of reality are dismissed as “fake news.” Reporters and their news organizations are “pathetic,” “very dishonest,” “failing,” and even, in one memorable turn of phrase, "a pile of garbage.”

Trump is, of course, not the first American president to whine about the news media or try to influence coverage. President George W. Bush saw the press as elitist and “slick.” President Obama’s press operation tried to exclude Fox News reporters from interviews, blocked many officials from talking to journalists and, most troubling, prosecuted more national security whistle-blowers and leakers than all previous presidents combined.

But Trump being Trump, he has escalated the traditionally adversarial relationship in demagogic and potentially dangerous ways.

But getting back to the subject of Trump and Civil War, you know Trump lies constantly – and so much that he doesn’t even know his perceived history from actual history. You know like most republicans claim to know. But when it comes to actual war, he loves him some war. In fact if there ever were a Civil War II: Electric Boogaloo Die Harder With A Vengeance, Trump’s got an ally on his side. And be afraid, be very fucking afraid. Where’s the spinning top when you need it?

WASHINGTON — When President Trump called President Rodrigo Duterte of the Philippines on Saturday, White House officials saw it as part of a routine diplomatic outreach to Southeast Asian leaders. Mr. Trump, characteristically, had his own ideas.

During their “very friendly conversation,” the administration said in a late-night statement, Mr. Trump invited Mr. Duterte, an authoritarian leader accused of ordering extrajudicial killings of drug suspects in the Philippines, to visit him at the White House.

Now, the administration is bracing for an avalanche of criticism from human rights groups. Two senior officials said they expected the State Department and the National Security Council, both of which were caught off guard by the invitation, to raise objections internally.

The White House disclosed the news on a day when Mr. Trump fired up his supporters at a campaign-style rally in Harrisburg, Pa. The timing of the announcement — after a speech that was a grievance-filled jeremiad — encapsulated this president after 100 days in office: still ready to say and do things that leave people, even on his staff, slack-jawed.

And the even scarier thing – he thinks the Constitution is “too archaic”. I’m surprised he even knows what the word “archaic” means!

Donald Trump has blamed the US constitution for the problems he has encountered during his first 100 days in office.

In an interview with Fox News to mark the milestone, the Republican called the system of checks and balances on power “archaic”.

“It’s a very rough system,” he said. “It’s an archaic system … It’s really a bad thing for the country.”

So to recap – in six months they went from saying that Constitution needs to be taken literally to the point where they carry pocket size copies of the Constitution to remind you of its’ awesomeness, to saying its’ old, archaic and needs to be gone away with completely. These fucking people. Where’s that damn spinning top????

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

First off – I love that this website exists – the Trump Golf Counter: http://www.golfwithdonald.com/ , got to love that there’s some creative people on the internet. But we got to talk about the insanity that was the Donald Trump for President rally in Pittsburgh (or Pittsburg as the Chaiinsmokers called it last week! ).

A former adviser to three Republican presidents called the speech Donald Trump gave before a crowd of supporters Saturday in Pennsylvania the “most divisive” he has ever heard from a president.

David Gergen, a CNN political analyst who advised GOP Presidents Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford and Ronald Reagan — and Democratic President Bill Clinton — said he found the speech “deeply disturbing” with little change from Trump’s bombastic, divisive campaign messages.

Trump slammed the press — again ― as “fake news,” vowed to topple Obamacare and promised to build the border wall between Mexico and the U.S. “Don’t worry, we’re going to have the wall,” Trump said at the rally marking his 100th day as president. “Rest assured. Go home, go to sleep.”

Gergen said on a CNN panel following Trump’s speech that bringing “your campaign speech into the presidency is something presidents rarely do.” He added: “I think this is the most divisive speech I’ve ever heard from a sitting American president.”

MOST DIVISIVE EVER!! Bravo! Well done! But really – Trump is a broken record and a parrot combined into one. He can’t shut up about the “fake news” media. Does Trumpy want a cracker? “SQWAAAAK!!! FAKE NEWS! FAKE NEWS!!! FAKE NEWS!!!” And this comes on the same day as the WHCD! Coincidence? AWWWW!!! FAKE NEWS!!!

HARRISBURG, Pa. — President Trump came to a farm expo center here on Saturday to celebrate his first 100 days in office by bathing in the support of his bedrock supporters, reprising the populist themes of his campaign and savaging a familiar foe: the news media.

In a rally timed to coincide with an annual dinner of the White House press corps in Washington, which he declined to attend, Mr. Trump laced into what he referred to as “the failing New York Times,” as well as CNN and MSNBC, which he accused of incompetence and dishonesty.

“Their priorities are not my priorities, and not your priorities,” Mr. Trump said to a sea of supporters, many in familiar red “Make America Great Again” caps. “If the media’s job is to be honest and tell the truth, the media deserves a very, very big fat failing grade,” he said, adding that they were “very dishonest people.”

Mr. Trump reveled in his decision to skip the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner, describing a scene in which Hollywood stars and reporters consoled themselves in a Washington hotel ballroom, while he mixed with a better class of people in the American heartland.

Oh and by the way in case you’re wondering if Trump treats his fans as well as he treats the media, well this happened during the rally.

During President Trump's Harrisburg, Pa. rally marking his 100th day in office on Saturday, an attendee named Neil Makhija says he was surrounded by Trump supporters and "shoved up against the wall" after being wrongly identified as a protester.

"It was a disturbing moment," said Makhija speaking to AOL.com, who says multiple Trump supporters wearing "Bikers for Trump" shirts cornered him while he was listening to the president's speech. Video of an altercation at the New Holland Arena in the Farm Show and Expo Center shows a group of men surrounding Makhija, pushing him while shoving pro-Trump signs in front of his face.

According to Makhija, the incident began when a person standing next to him was being removed from the rally after holding up a sign that read, "The sea levels are rising."

Oh and by the way, switching subjects for a minute, you know racism is a hot topic right now with the alt right movement, and now this is happening. WHITE SUPREMACISM IS NOT FUCKING FUNNY, DO YOU GET THAT TRUMPHEADS????

Two conservative journalists have sparked outcry on social media by making what some have interpreted as a white supremacist hand symbol at a recent visit to the White House.

Freelance journalist Mike Cernovich and Cassandra Fairbanks, a reporter for Russian news outlet Sputnik, posed for a picture behind the podium in the White House briefing room. In the photo, they are making a hand sign that can be used to signify “white power.”

“Just two people doing a white power hand gesture in the White House,” Fusion senior reporter Emma Roller tweeted, alongside a screenshot of the picture.

Oh and they think they’re being cute and clever doing this in the White House, but it’s not fucking funny, I will repeat that! Can we show that picture?

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! And by the way if you think that’s bad, not only were white supremacists spotted inside the rally, his supporters are just as crazy. Like this guy who thinks that if you’re protesting Trump, you’re protesting GOD HIMSELF!!! Where’s White Power Bill when you need him? His time is now!

Last week, Jim Bakker hosted End Times author Joel Richardson and disgraced ex-FBI agent and anti-Muslim conspiracy theorist John Guandolo on his program to discuss recent protests against President Trump.

Commenting on the Tax Day protests that urged Trump to release his tax returns, Bakker expressed disbelief that people joined the protests organically: “What’s going on in America where, you know, all these people gather all at the same time in the same place? How can they all gather together? Every city they’re marching, they’re all doing this, who is setting this up? The reporters all believe it. They’re feeding us a lie!”

Guandolo told the televangelist that left-wing demonstrators, including Black Lives Matter activists, are working hand-in-hand with “the jihadi movement, the terrorist movement,” and their protests “are planned and are funded by enemies of the United States.”

[font size="8"]Reince Preibus[/font]

OK maybe at least it’s the end of America. And I still feel fine! Yes, our freedoms are on the chopping block. And Trump spokesman and guy who keeps Steve Bannon and Jared Kushner from fighting each other cartoon style, Reince Preibus said that Donald Trump is actually seriously considering “overwriting or abolishing the 1st amendment”. Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! So before we explain to Reince how the constitution works, we need to get into this:

Karl says, accurately, that that kind of clampdown on 1st Amendment rights would require amending the Constitution. Is that what Priebus means, Karl asks? Yes, it is, says Priebus.

Now one might respond to this saying, ‘Okay, technically that’s what he said. But he probably doesn’t actually mean it.’

To which I think the answer is, sure maybe he doesn’t mean it but why would anyone assume that? He said it and repeated it. The changes President Trump wants are blocked by decades of decades of jurisprudence which is little contested, unlike other hot button points of constitutional law. If you want what Trump wants, you have to amend the constitution – and not the constitution in general but the 1st Amendment specifically. Amending the 1st Amendment to allow the head of state to sue people who say things he doesn’t like amounts to abolishing it.

None of these are tenuous connections. Each link in the chain of reasoning follows logically from the other.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! You suck if you even consider this as a distinct possibility. It’s grossly unconstitutional. In fact we’re going to show you this video on how the constitution works:

Thanks TED talk! So they’d need approval from essentially 2/3 of the country before they can pass an amendment overwriting the first amendment. And in case you haven’t heard, free speech is more popular than Jesus in America. And any attempt to hurt free speech on one side would hurt it for both. So really, they only looked at changing “libel laws”. Yeah right!

White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus said on Sunday that the Trump administration has “looked into” the possibility of changing the country’s libel laws in order to make it easier to sue news organizations.

“I think it’s something that we’ve looked at, and how that gets executed or whether that goes anywhere is a different story,” Priebus said on ABC’s This Week. “But when you have articles out there that have no basis or fact and we’re sitting here on 24/7 cable companies writing stories about constant contacts with Russia and all these other matters.”

President Donald Trump has made the suggestion at least twice as both a candidate and as president. During the campaign last year, Trump said he wanted to “open up” libel laws, and last month he suggested a “change” in the laws as part of his continued attacks on The New York Times.

Wait – so they want to be able to sue the “FAKE NEWS!!!” media for slander? And they’d end free speech for everyone in the country to do it? Does that mean we can sue Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, and Ann Coulter for 40 years of back lies and slander now? Hey I see an upside to this, but that would require those “trial lawyers” that the GOP hates so much! Thank you! But the end might be nearing for Reince Preibus, because he’s pissed off the extreme far right and they’re people who you don’t want to piss off.

Breitbart News has a target in its crosshairs following the departure of former National Security Adviser Mike Flynn from the White House in a cascade of scandal over his contacts with the Russian government: White House Chief of Staff Reince Priebus.

Targeting Priebus, who leads the faction of Trump aides that is composed of experienced establishment political hands, is really just a stand-in for a larger conflict about the future of Trumpism in the White House. Breitbart News is treating Flynn’s ouster as the first salvo in a war against those in the administration they deem insufficiently loyal to Trump. Backing up Breitbart are legions of other Trump loyalists in the right-wing media sphere. And their angry reaction to Flynn’s exit signals the unpopularity of the move with a vocal segment of Trump’s base.

Trump loyalists — meaning the true believers who supported Trump from the start, not Republican politicos who became attached later on — have been privately musing about getting rid of Priebus. Now, that musing is going public. “I think this is Pearl Harbor for the true Trump supporters, the Trump loyalists,” said Roger Stone, a former Trump campaign adviser and longtime Republican operative who still has a relationship with Trump. “I believe Reince Priebus moved on General Flynn and I think he intends to move on Steve Bannon and Stephen Miller next. He is not serving the president well. The people he hired are loyal to the Republican National Committee, not the President of the United States.”

[font size="8"]Mike Enzi[/font]

You know town halls have been a bit of a cause for concern among the GOP faithful lately. And they’ve been booed, met with protest, met with hostility and very angry crowds. So when your constituents turn on you because you can’t be loved 24/7, what do you do? Well, we go to Wyoming for this one – the home of former Vice President Dick Cheney. Well, would you be shocked and surprised to learn that Wyoming’s representatives are about as crazy as Cheney is? Plus they have a tendency to show that good old fashioned brand of republican sympathy we’ve come to know and love. Meet Wyoming Senator Mike Enzi (R-Obviously). Who last week said this:

The Wyoming Senator who said "a guy who wears a tutu and goes to bars...asks for it" if he gets into fights has conceded he did not choose his words wisely.

In a school presentation last week in Wyoming, Enzi was asked by students what he was doing to ensure equality for the LGBTQ community in the state. Enzi responded that Wyoming gives people to choose who they want to be, if they don't push it in anyone's face.

“I know a guy who wears a tutu and goes to bars on Friday night and is always surprised that he gets in fights. Well, he kind of asks for it. That’s the way that he winds up with that kind of problem,”he said, according to the local paper the Greybull Standard.

"I regret a poor choice of words during part of my presentation. None of us is infallible and I apologize to anyone who has taken offense," Senator Mike Enzi wrote in an e-mailed statement to CNN. "No offense was intended. Quite the opposite in fact, and so I ask for your understanding as well."

This raises many questions. OK so what prompted this? And why the hell is Mike Enzi thinking about guys wearing tutus? And where has he ever seen a guy wear a tutu walking into a bar? This is one of those things where thinking about it too much would make your head explode. Kingsman style or Scanners style? Either way it’s an exploding head. But then he doesn’t just roll back his comment – he generates a response of WTF proportions.

Last week, Sen. Mike Enzi (R-WY) tried to sound supportive of LGBT people, but he made a comment that seemed to confirm he was just the opposite.

While Enzi addressed students at Greybull High School in his home state, one audience member was asked what he was doing to improve the life of the LGBT community, “to help Wyoming live up to its name as ‘The Equality State’?”

Enzi started his reply by claiming that “there are a lot of problems that don’t have a federal, one-size-fits-all solution.” Though he didn’t specify what he meant, this has been a common talking point used by those who objected to President Obama’s guidance requiring schools to recognize and respect transgender students.

He went on to say, “What we need to have is a little civility between people,” followed by an example that demonstrated exactly how not to show civility to people:

Oh and he did apologize to the man in question – who doesn’t own a tutu ( ) but does regularly wear women’s clothing:

U.S. Sen. Mike Enzi, whose comments about men wearing tutus sparked outrage earlier this week, called Wyoming’s best-known cross-dresser and apologized, Larry “Sissy” Goodwin said Thursday afternoon.

Goodwin, 70, of Douglas, said he accepted the apology during the lengthy Thursday talk.

“We had a nice conversation,” he said. “He offered an apology and I have no doubt to believe it was genuine. He was very genuine with his comments. I think we had a respectful dialogue. If anything comes out of this, we both agree that it’s opening a discussion and illuminating the issues to the benefit of everyone concerned.”

Enzi’s spokesman also confirmed the phone call and personal apology.

Hey why not? But this is my favorite part of this whole story. So I love when the GOP’s talking points blow up in their faces. I love that shit. I can’t get enough of it. So in spite of Mike Enzi’s comments, the residents of Wyoming went out of their way to show their support for men wearing tutus, because, republicans.

A week after Sen. Mike Enzi told high school students that a man who wears a tutu to a bar "kind of asks for" a fight, his constituents in Wyoming are wearing tutus to school and work — and, yes, to bars — on Friday. Enzi has apologized for his "poor choice of words."

Protest parties are also scheduled through the weekend, and on Friday, people have been using the #LiveandLetTutu hashtag to share images of themselves wearing tutus. One image posted today showed University of Wyoming student Tyler Wolfgang wearing a suit and a tutu, posing at a campus building that bears Enzi's name.

"Our hope with the state-wide [efforts] is that even in small communities we'll get a handful of people to share a photo of themselves in the bar wearing a tutu," one organizer, Patrick Harrington of Laramie, tells member station Wyoming Public Media, "so we can show Senator Enzi that he really is representing a large group of people and a really diverse group of people in Wyoming."

Those efforts include a "tutu family game night" at a church in Cheyenne. Pub crawls are planned in Laramie, Pinedale, and Sheridan; bars are offering discounts to anyone in a tutu, and at least one establishment is also contributing part of its proceeds to gay pride events.

Yeah work it!

[font size="8"]The NRA[/font]

NRA… what the fuck are you doing? I think we as a nation need to sit down and have an intervention with you. OK so Donald Trump, as you know, is speaking at the annual NRA convention which is being held in Atlanta this year. So of course that will mean guns, guns everywhere. But when you’re too extreme for Donald Trump, one, what does that say about your organization? And two – it leads to shit like this. And in a day and age where mass shootings are not only a thing, there’s actual *DRILLS* held for them when they used to be held for natural disasters – things like fires and earthquakes, and possible nuclear winter. But it leads to shit like this:

The Secret Service confirmed Thursday that those attending President Trump’s Friday speech to the National Rifle Association in Atlanta must leave their guns outside.

“Individuals determined to be carrying firearms will not be allowed past a predetermined outer perimeter checkpoint, regardless of whether they possess a ticket to the event,” the Secret Service said in a statement, as reported by CNN.

Federal law allows the Secret Service to stop guns from entering sites visited by those under their protection, even in states permitting open carry of firearms.

Trump will join other Republican speakers including Texas Sen. Ted Cruz, Florida Gov. Rick Scott and Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke at this year's NRA leadership forum at the Georgia World Congress Center.

The NRA was a major backer of Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign, and he also addressed its leadership forum last year.

Yeah that’s a huge loss for the NRA. I mean when they cant take their precious killing machines everywhere, where does one go from there? Yes, it’s way past time that we as a country hold an intervention for the NRA. Their addiction to guns and power has led them to say some ridiculously stupid shit like this:

National Rifle Association (NRA) Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre on Friday tore into Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.), calling him a "political predator" who lied to young people.

"Bernie Sanders was not a movement, as a fawning media called his campaign," LaPierre said before a cheering crowd at the NRA's Leadership Forum in Atlanta. "Bernie is a political predator of young voters who were lied to by school teachers and college professors."

"Stood up for his message of big government socialism. Free, free, free for me. No one told the truth about how all that free stuff was going to be paid for. It was all one big fat lie. And the media, they were in on the lie from the start, because it fit their agenda."

The NRA has had a fairly amicable relationship with Sanders in the past. Sanders early in his career voted against laws pushing background checks and waiting times for gun-buyers. But during his presidential campaign last year, Sanders sought to distance himself from the NRA and increased his calls for stricter gun control.

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! So they’re clearly becoming a danger to themselves. And how does one deal with that? Especially when their lust for power knows no boundaries? Well, they’re definitely a danger to themselves.

President Trump spoke to the National Rifle Association's annual leadership forum on Friday, the first sitting president since Ronald Reagan to do so.

"We have news that you've been waiting for ... a long time," Trump told the crowd in Atlanta. "The eight-year assault on your Second Amendment freedoms has come to a crashing end."

Much of his speech echoed the rhetoric he used on the campaign, and has continued at rallies during his first 100 days in office.

Trump reiterated his desire to build a wall along the Mexico-U.S. border, despite backing off of demands that funding for the project be included in the spending bill that Congress is working on.

And they’re becoming a danger to others:

At the National Rifle Association’s annual meeting this Friday, one of the featured speakers was former White Sox first baseman Adam LaRoche, who famously quit professional baseball when his team wouldn’t let his son Drake join him in the team clubhouse before and after games. LaRoche talked about the importance of fatherhood, his joy in teaching his son hunting, and his work with charities fighting sex trafficking. His remarks concluded, Chris Cox, executive director of the NRA’s Institute for Legislative Action, gave father and son gifts on behalf of the organization, a pair of Daniel Defense AR-15 rifles with suppressors. Cox made a quick joke about how the gift of the gun to the younger LaRoche was just to annoy the media, and there was a knowing chuckle throughout the crowd. In a post-Columbine world, quite a few Americans are unnerved by the sight of any gun, even unloaded, in the hands of anyone who doesn’t look like an adult. At the NRA convention’s massive floor show, it is not hard to find parents — usually dads — walking around with their kids and holding up and getting a feel for the various models. (The firing pins are removed from all firearms on display, and they cannot be fired.)

Read more at: http://www.nationalreview.com/article/447224/national-rifle-assocation-gun-safety-children-eddy-eagle-gun-control-left

And then they’re going out of their way to feed their addiction, which makes them a danger to themselves and to others:

The NRA has launched a new program that protects gun owners who use a firearm in self-defense.

“NRA Carry Guard is the most comprehensive coverage, legal assistance, training and insurance for law-abiding Second Amendment practitioners,” said NRA spokesperson Dana Loesch to the FOX Business Network’s Stuart Varney. “We live in a very contiguous society where criminals even sue their victims—it’s horrific and they win.”

The program’s three memberships range in price from $13.95 to $31.95 a month, according to the website, and also provides full spousal coverage and a free one-year NRA membership with full benefits.

“The training, which I’ve gone through, is amazing… and I like the fact that if anything should ever happen, I have the legal assistance from top tier attorneys in every city in the country and I also have the insurance to be able to assist with any civil or criminal prosecution,” she said.

And they’re surrounding themselves with people who feed their addiction, which feeds their addiction, which makes them a danger to themselves and a danger to others:

Over the weekend, the National Rifle Association held its annual convention, this time in Atlanta. On Friday President Donald Trump spoke to the convention delegates, the first time a sitting president has done so since Ronald Reagan was in the office. On Saturday civil rights leader Rep. John Lewis, who represents much of Atlanta in Congress, attended a protest demanding stricter, not looser, gun safety regulations.

The contrast is a stark one. Inside the convention was a man who won by running the most overtly racist presidential campaign since 1968, when George Wallace’s blunt racism failed to beat Richard Nixon’s more coded form of bigotry. Outside, a civil rights icon rallied the progressive resistance. While race was rarely mentioned explicitly, the entire spectacle helped expose how much racism and white identity politics are fueling both the Trump presidency and the fetishization of gun violence that the NRA represents.

[font size="8"]The Proud Boys[/font]

So whether you’re liberal or conservative, one thing we can all agree on is that people who show up at your rallies looking to stir some shit up by throwing smoke bombs, carrying crowbars and looking to beat the shit out of people and destroying property isn’t cool, right? Well, we saw that at UC Berkeley with Antifa. And now there’s a new group emerging – they’re calling themselves “The Proud Boys”. And they’re coming to a protest near you, and they’re looking to stir shit up – only they’re for Trump.

A new fight-club “fraternity” of young white, pro-Trump men is being formed, its organizers claim, to defend free-speech rights by “Alt-Right” leaders and engage in street fighting.

Kyle Chapman, a California activist arrested earlier this month in a clash in Berkeley between anti-fascist protesters and pro-Trump demonstrators, announced this week he is forming the Fraternal Order of Alt Knights (cleverly called “FOAK).

Chapman, who uses the Internet meme “Based Stick Man,” says his new militant, highly-masculine group will be the “tactical defensive arm” of the Proud Boys, another group that shows up at pro-Trump rallies looking to rumble with counter-protesters.

“We don’t fear the fight. We are the fight,” Chapman said in a recent social media post announcing FOAK’s formation.

“I’m proud to announce that my newly created Fraternal Order of Alt-Knights will be partnering with Proud Boys,” Chapman said, with the “full-approval” of its founder, Gavin McInnes.

“The Fraternal Order Of Alt Knights”. Which abbreviates to FOAK. Which almost kind of sounds like “fuck” when you say it out loud. Go FOAK yourselves, Proud Boys. Or in the words of the movie Argo, Argo FOAK Yourselves, Proud Boys. Thank you! "That movie was fake news, OK! Our soldiers weren't rescued by a movie producer!". Thanks Mr. President. And the Proud Boys, as you might have guessed, are every bit as batshit crazy and stupid as you might expect coming from a brown shirt pro-Trump group that refuses to apologize for their conservative beliefs. Why do you need to refuse to apologize? And therein lies the problem. They even have ridiculously stupid uniforms to go with it:

These guys don’t look like warriors. They look like they work for Mike’s Discount Pest Control. “Need bugs squashed? Call Mike’s Discount Pest Control Today! 1-800-DED-BUGS”.

When hundreds of activists on the left and the right converged here Saturday, things got ugly very quickly.

It was billed as a “free speech” rally by conservative activists, staged in one of America’s most liberal cities. But even before the event was set to begin, fists were flying and people were left bloodied. In the end, 21 were arrested and police confiscated an array of heavy sticks, knives, and Pepsi cans used as projectiles.

But what appeared to be a political event that devolved into violence was actually something more complex. The combatants on both sides were extremists who traveled from far and wide to make Berkeley their stage. Many freely admitted they were there to make trouble and that peaceful protest over President Trump and other issues really wasn’t their goal.

Much of the violence was captured on cellphone cameras and posted on social media, where each side offered supporters their narrative of what happened.

You’re not defending free speech here. What you’re really defending is your right to be an asshole. I mean… thank you! And yes, they really are defending their right to be assholes. And what happens when you get two groups of batshit crazy people with polarizing extreme beliefs attending the same rally looking to start some shit? You get what amounts to the equivalent of a middle school dance – where the boys are on one side of the room, the girls are on the other, and concerned parents in the middle. Or in this case, cops in riot gear.

BERKELEY, Calif. (AP) — Berkeley officials declared their handling of protests over Ann Coulter's canceled appearance a success thanks to a massive police presence that ensured the city did not become a "fight club," the mayor said Friday.

Hundreds of Coulter's supporters gathered in a downtown park Thursday after the University of California, Berkeley, nixed a speech by the conservative commentator. Many of them came dressed for conflict, wearing flak jackets, ballistic helmets adorned with pro-President Donald Trump stickers and other protective gear.


And by the way in case you’re wondering how far the extreme far right goes under the guise of “free speech”, if you were to use that insane terrorism chart from the Bush years, Ann Coulter would be in the orange level, the Proud Boys would be in the bright red level, and Theodore Shoebat would be in the dark red level. I mean this is some scary fucking shit here.

Extremist anti-LGBTQ activist Theodore Shoebat, who was featured in a radically anti-gay documentary made by Janet Porter called “Light Wins” along with various Religious Right activists and Republican elected officials back in 2015, posted a new video on his website last week insisting that it should not be considered a hate crime to kill “fags.”

While ranting about Tucker Carlson’s interview with Caitlyn Jenner last week and demanding that Jenner be arrested and executed for promoting “perversion,” Shoebat declared that murdering gays should not qualify as a hate crime.

“Fags kill each other all the time,” he said, “and the reason why they kill each other all the time is because they’re demon-possessed people and Satan wants them to kill each other because Satan hates humanity.”

“If someone kills a homosexual because they’re a homosexual, that should not be considered a hate crime,” he continued, “because right when you start considering that a hate crime, then you might as well just say, ‘Well, if someone kills somebody because they’re a pedophile, that should also be a hate crime.'”

[font size="8"]Scott Baio[/font]

Apparently Chachi doesn’t love Joanie as much as you would think. Well, Erin Moran passed away last week at age 56. Which itself is a downright tragedy when you consider her age and the cancer she contracted at that age. Well, her costar in that show, Scott Baio, wasn’t exactly what one would call “sympathetic”. In fact he was the opposite of it. Let’s explain:

In a post titled “Here are the facts,” Baio blasted the media on their reporting. He wrote:

“Monday, April 24th at 6 a.m. Pacific time I did a live radio interview. I was asked ONLY about Erin’s troubled past due to drug & alcohol abuse. I was still upset and said I felt that living that kind of a lifestyle will catch up with you and nothing good would come of it. THIS WAS BEFORE THE CAUSE OF DEATH WAS ANNOUNCED STATING STAGE 4 CANCER.

Now it seems every news outlet & tabloid wants to paint a different picture of me and of what really happened. They’re stating that I’m saying drugs caused her to die after it was reported stage 4 cancer. This is so wrong! Now I truly understand the meaning of ‘Fake News’. This is crazy.”

Baio added that he was still emotional.

“Please stop assuming the worse in me. I’m a compassionate person. I’m very heartbroken over her passing, especially since it was cancer. I don’t see people going after or attacking every network that said it was a drug overdose. I’ve openly stated my truths. I’m done.”

And not only did Scott Baio fail, and fail hard – he doubled down. You know when most people say something insensitive – they quickly learn from it and try to not let that happen in the future. But not Scott “Here are the facts” Baio.

He said that when he first heard of his former Happy Days and Joanie Loves Chachi co-star’s death, he was “sad, in disbelief, sick to my stomach and in complete shock.”

Baio said he read headlines following Moran’s death that claimed the actress died of a drug overdose and he was “very upset and angry” to read that. “This is one of my [worst] fears for her… I was on an emotional rollercoaster. I hadn’t slept well since the news of her passing.”

Baio said he was “still upset up” when he conducted the radio interview yesterday.

He concluded the post by saying, “Please stop assuming the [worst] in me. I’m a compassionate person. I’m very heartbroken over her passing, especially since it was cancer.”

Baio also posted an open letter from Moran’s husband Steve which detailed Moran’s illness. In the letter, Steve said Moran was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma in December and her condition worsened quickly. She had gone through chemo and radiation, but by the middle of February, he says she could no longer speak, eat or drink, and she died in her sleep on Saturday.

But… like all feuds, here’s where the conversation takes a turn and gets dark real fucking quick. OK so when you’re in a back and forth feud, perhaps don’t mention your penis. Because that will cause people to defend your penis. And yes this is a thing, and it’s already making me cringe enough.

Renee Baio, the wife of Trump-supporting actor Scott Baio, has taken to social media to defend the size of her husband’s penis.

Questions about Baio’s manhood first arose when Tony Moran, the brother of the late Happy Days actress Erin Moran, slammed him in a Facebook post after Baio said that he wasn’t surprised that she died given her addiction to drinking and drugs.

“She told me that you were tiny,” a furious Moran wrote about Baio. “Barely a man in the man region.”

As the Daily Beast notes, Renee Baio hit back at Moran on Twitter by saying her husband was more than adequately endowed.

“Why would a sister tell her brother about the size of boyfriend’s manhood?” she wrote. “Creepy at best. SB was a playboy for a reason!”

[font size="8"]United Airlines[/font]

Another week, another fail that is United Airlines. You know – first they had that incident where the girl got kicked off a flight going to Milwaukee for wearing leggings. Oh the horror! Then you had the clusterfuck that was the booting of Dr. David Dao off a flight going to Atlanta. And the fallout of that is still not finished! But that’s not what we’re going to talk about in this entry. Did you know that a giant rabbit died on a flight from London to Chicago to be verified by the Guinness Book Of World Records as the world’s largest rabbit?

Scandal-hit United Airlines is facing a new PR disaster — after a valuable giant rabbit died mysteriously on one of its planes.

Three-foot Simon, destined to be the world’s biggest bunny, died in the cargo section of a Boeing 767 after flying out of Heathrow to a new celebrity owner in the US.

Breeder Annette Edwards, of Stoulton, Worcs, said: “He was fit as a fiddle. I’ve sent rabbits round the world, nothing like this happened.” United’s reputation is at rock bottom after film of a doctor being dragged from a jet went viral.

Yeah it’s a terrible tragedy and yet another fuck up that is costing United Airlines big time, or to put it in Trump speak – “bigly”. But here’s the weird thing about this whole story – the rabbit was given a clean bill of health prior to being boarded on the long flight from London to Chicago:

United Airlines has taken another blow to its image after a giant, apparently healthy rabbit died following a intercontinental flight.

The bunny was found dead at Chicago's O'Hare International Airport, the same place passenger David Dao was dragged off a United flight earlier this month -- dragging United's reputation through the mud.
It happened when Simon, a 3-foot-long, 10-month-old Continental Giant rabbit, flew in from London's Heathrow Airport to O'Hare on April 19.

"I haven't got a clue who's to blame, but it's certainly very weird when Simon was so healthy," said Annette Edwards, a breeder who sold the bunny.

But United isn’t quite done shooting themselves in the foot the way Daffy Duck or Elmer Fudd would, because the fallout from this incident is baffling. I mean the only way things could get worse for United right now is if they had Sean Spicer as their PR person.

Less than three weeks after a passenger was dragged off a United Airlines flight at the Chicago airport, the carrier found itself facing another public relations fiasco on Wednesday after a three-foot-long rabbit died on a flight from Britain.

The continental giant rabbit, Simon, which was bound for O’Hare, had a veterinary checkup three hours before takeoff from Heathrow Airport near London and was “fit as a fiddle,” his breeder said. The animal was traveling to a buyer in the United States.

Continental giants are an ancient breed, descended, appropriately enough, from Flemish giants. They are known to be gentle, friendly and intelligent, as rabbits go. An enthusiasts’ website says the giant makes “a fantastic house rabbit” but that “cables, wires, shoes, papers and anything important” should be kept out of its way, as it will chew them to bits.

Simon’s death remained a mystery on Wednesday. “Something very strange has happened, and I want to know what,” the breeder, Annette Edwards, told the British tabloid The Sun.

And then things get even weirder than that. You know – maybe when you’re under intense public scrutiny for a colossal fuck up over the way your airline handles animals, maybe don’t do this.

United found itself in hot water yet again last night after the owner of a giant rabbit that died on board one of its flights claimed the airline CREMATED the bunny without her consent.

Simon, a giant rabbit destined to be the world's biggest, mysteriously died on a flight to the US last month.

The bunny, who measured three-foot long, was placed in the cargo hold of a United Boeing 767 at Heathrow on his way to a new celebrity owner in America.

But when the jet landed at Chicago's O'Hare airport, the valuable rabbit was found dead, according to The Sun.

British breeder Annette Edwards said Simon, who was destined to overtake his father as the world's biggest rabbit , was healthy when he was placed on the United flight.

[font size="8"]Fyre Festival[/font]

What’s more awesome than a trip to the Bahamas? Beautiful beaches, even more beautiful ladies, the sun, the clear waters and sandy beaches… and to top it off some really awesome music to go with that backdrop! I’m of course talking about Ja Rule and the Fyre Festival. Which started out great…

With festival season around the corner, music fans everywhere can indulge in island fun with the inaugural Fyre Festival in the Exumas, Bahamas.

The festival recently announced the addition of Migos, Lil Yachty, Blink-182, Matoma and Le Youth to its lineup. Previously announced acts include the G.O.O.D. Music family, Major Lazer and a DJ set from Disclosure.

The festival also unveiled a partnership with Zero for the curated “Pirate’s Cove” stage to feature a deep house and electronic set from sunset to sunrise on both Fridays of the festival. The stage will also feature other performances throughout the weekend from the likes of Tensnake, Daniel Cowel, Lovecraft, Bo, BLOND:ISH, Bedouin, Rampue and Lee Burridge.

Sounds great! I mean who wouldn’t want to see Blink 182 on the beach? I’ve seen Blink 182 live – they are an amazing show to catch if they come to your city. But Blink 182 started the backlash against the organizers of the Fyre Festival which led to this:

First, headliners Blink-182 pulled out of the lineup tweeting, “Regrettably, and after much careful and difficult consideration, we want to let you know that we won’t be performing at Fyre Fest in the Bahamas this weekend and next weekend. We’re not confident that we would have what we need to give you the quality of performances we always give fans.”

Today, McFarland declared that the Festival was off, but it would be rescheduled: “After assessing the situation this morning and looking at best options for our guests, we cannot move forward as we hoped we could,” he tweeted.

The luxury festival with weekend ticket prices ranging from $1,000 to $12,000, was anything but luxurious.

Disgruntled attendees shared disappointing photos of their experiences. The “glamorous” accommodations were described as little more than disaster relief tents that couldn’t stand up to a disaster. The food and customer service was visibly underwhelming.

So why spend $12,000 on a concert festival that included a flight on a private 737 from Miami if the experience was going to be sub par? I mean like I said – who wouldn’t want to go to the Bahamas – beautiful women, beautiful beaches, and some kick ass music? I mean who wouldn’t want to enjoy that? Well after Blink 182 pulled out, the whole thing turned into a complete shit show:

The site in the Bahamas where the now-postponed Fyre Festival was to happen is on "lockdown" by the island country's government.

Private security guards were seen Saturday protecting the main site where people had been slated to sleep in luxury tents.

On Sunday, the Bahamas Ministry of Tourism told ABC News, "Customs has the area on lockdown because [festival organizer] Billy [McFarland] has not paid customs duty taxes on the items that he imported" for the event. "He and his staff have left the items with a security company guarding it."

ABC News is attempting to reach McFarland for comment in regard to the tourism ministry's statement.

Customs duty taxes are often levied on goods transported internationally.

Fyre Festival said in a statement Friday that it had to import many items to essentially build a city because the private island of Fyre Cay where the luxury concert event was to take place, lacked "the physical infrastructure" needed "to fulfill on that vision safely and enjoyably for our guests."

Yeah so the producers of this show were… you guessed it! Only in it for the money! But guess what? Oh and the producers have been hit with a lawsuit totaling – get this - $100 million dollars! What???

On Sunday, Fyre Fest attendee Daniel Jung filed a lawsuit against the organizers. His attorney Ben Meiselas, of celebrity law firm Geragos & Geragos, tweeted the first few pages of the suit, adding, "Refunding ticket price is not enough!"

The suit, filed in U.S. District Court, names festival co-founders Ja Rule and Billy McFarland, along with Fyre Media, as defendants. It seeks to be a class action, with the plaintiff estimating that more than 1,000 people "purchased tickets for, and/or attended, Defendants' Fyre Festival."

Jung says he paid $2,000 for a ticket package and airfare to the event that started on Thursday and promised "a once-in-a-lifetime musical experience on the Islands of the Exumas." The suit seeks damages in excess of $100 million on behalf of himself and "similarly-situated persons."

You know what this is like? It’s like the Kamp Krusty episode of the Simpsons – the show they were promised wasn’t exactly what one would call “entertaining”. The food wasn’t there and the “luxury tents” were shacks. Who do you blame? Do you blame the producers? Do you blame Ja Rule? Do you blame the organizers? Who??

If you turned up at the Fyre Festival wooed by its ads -- and many, many fans did -- you'd think you were in for a weekend of top-notch acts playing for your entertainment, as models in bikinis paraded around and private jets and yachts ferried you to and from the beautiful Caribbean paradise. Everything any good millennial needs for a strong Instagram post.
The reality, however, has been anything but.

Those who shelled out up to $12,780 for the luxury weekend in the Exumas, in the Bahamas, found themselves Thursday treated to mass disorganization, half-built tents, and catered food that was little more than limp cheese sandwiches.

Oh, and no beer.

No beer? Are you fucking kidding? This again is like the Simpsons! If you’re going to pony up $12K for an island getaway, at least include some fucking beers! And you know what my favorite part of this whole thing was? The "organizers" of the Fyre Festival - rather than attempt a mass refund of the tickets - are offering "VIP packages" to next year's Fyre Festival! I shit you not - this is a real thing! And as much of an epic fail as this was, a survey of attendees of this "festival" found that 81% who went, would go next year! Now really...

It’s inconceivable to think anyone in their right mind would attend Fyre Festival 2018 given the events of the last week. Then again, it was also inconceivable to think anyone would purchase tickets to a Ja Rule-organized Caribbean music festival in the first place, and yet hundreds of well-to-do millennials found themselves stranded on the island of Grand Exuma, forcing the US Embassy to literally come to the rescue.

In the wake of last weekend’s debacle, Fyre Festival co-founder Billy McFarland has made it abundantly clear that he intends to give it another go in 2018, promising that this time “we’ll make sure there is infrastructure in place to support us.” He even went as far to offer VIP passes in lieu of refunds, and apparently more than a few people have taken him up on the offer.

In a statement issued to Rolling Stone, a member of the festival’s management team said, “Currently 81% of guests who have filled out the refund application have said they would like to attend Fyre Festival 2018. We are so thankful for their support and excitement as we strive to make this right.”

There’s only one way they can make it up to the attendees! And that's by taking them to the happiest place on earth - Tijuana, Mexico! *cue South Of The Border by Gene Autry*

[font size="8"]Stupidest State Contest Round 13: Layover League Championship[/font]

16 states will enter, and only one state will be crowned the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State! If you need a reminder of the conferences, there’s the Batshit Conference, the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, the Gun Nut Conference, and the Family Values Conference. Folks , the Final Four has been set! We have the four G’s of the GOP represented. We have god. We have guns. We have gays. And we have excessive corporate greed! So which one of these states will be crowned the Stupidest State? Will it be Montana, Texas, Kansas, or Tennessee? If you want the odds – well it’s anyone’s game at this point. The underdogs in Tennesee are the long shot against heavily favored Montana, while Kansas could win the Layover League, but it’s also a long shot against favored Texas, who squashed Florida and Kentucky. Now how are the finals going to work? Well, here’s how. We are going to find the nexus of what these two states in each matchup have in common. So what do you get when you combine reckless government spending with a tendency to be overall batshit crazy? You get the Koch Brothers, and we’ll examine the Koch Brothers’ influence on these states in the Layover League. Now on the other hand, what do you get when you combine a reckless disregard for the 1st amendment with a reckless disregard for the 2nd amendment? You get one of my all time favorite subjects – Doomsday Prepping! Both Montana and Tennessee are home to some of the country’s craziest doomsday preppers, as well as preachers who preach about the apocalypse coming. And we will explore that subject thoroughly. And then for the grand finale – we’re going to explore one of the hottest subjects around – sanctuary cities. Something that all 4 states have in common. And something that may be going away thanks to Trump’s stance on immigration.So for this one, we’re going to explore the Tea Party in Texas and Kansas. Let’s get out our brackets shall we?

[font size="6"]Round 13: Layover League Championship: Kansas Vs Texas[/font]

[font size="4"]Texas [/font]

Next up we come back to the Lone Star State. We don’t need to tell you what Texas is already the home of, because we have covered that extensively in the previous two rounds. So we come to the league championship here. And there is something that that overall batshit crazy has to do with excessive government spending. And the nexus of these two things is Koch Industries. And more particularly two of the country’s richest men – Charles and David Koch, who stem to profit handsomely if Donald Trump passes his tax plan, which we all know is a steaming load of horseshit designed to take aim at screwing over the middle class, while giving away gigantic sums of money to those who already have more money than God. So what does the Koch Brothers have to do with Texas? Well…

House budget night typically doesn’t get “fun” until the liquor emerges and the ghost of legislatures past comes out from Sam Rayburn’s old inkwell, but a few things happened during the daylight part of the session that bear some mention.

First, state Representative Abel Herrero’s successful bid, early in the day, to bar the use of state funds for private school tuition, which passed 103 to 44. The practical meaning of the amendment is negligible, but it sends the strongest message so far this session that Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick’s “school choice” initiatives are dead. Importantly — Republicans care about this stuff — more members of the House GOP caucus voted for the amendment than voted against it, so no one can say this was simply the work of House Speaker Joe Straus and his Democratic cronies.

In the history of Herrero’s amendment, it is possible to discern a second message. Herrero offered a similar anti-voucher proposal during the debate on the House budget in 2013, where its passage was seen a somewhat surprising declaration of the House’s true feelings about vouchers — an unlikely victory from the Democratic minority that passed 103 to 43. And one that put Republicans in a tough spot.

But wait! Texas is overwhelmingly republican, you may say! And Texas consistently elects a republican majority in its’ key elections, you may say! Well… why are they becoming a minority and why are they so fucking angry? It’s hard to please a right winger. So you might as well not try. These people thrive on hatred, and if they got no one left to hate, they start hating each other.

Recently the Texas House of Representatives passed a school finance bill that adds $1.8 billion to help public schools; our own state representative, Drew Darby, offered an amendment that passed to help make school finance fairer to small neighborhood schools. I am very proud of Darby, as well as House Speaker Joe Straus, both of whom are Republicans.

Why am I proud? Because both men are more interested in getting things done to help people — the common good — than they are in scoring partisan political points. That is the way it should be.

However, my tea party friends and my Christian right friends consider Darby and Straus to be RINOs, that is, Republicans in Name Only, because they are willing to work with everyone — even Democrats.

By contrast, the tea party and Christian right are more than satisfied with the Republicans in the Texas Senate, which is led by Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick, who is 100 percent tea party and a former Christian right radio personality. The Senate passed a budget, supported by our state senator, Charles Perry, a tea party member, that “cuts state funding for public schools by $1.8 billion in general revenue, and uses local property tax revenue to make up the difference,” an article in the Texas Tribune said.

Because nothing says “I love you” like a giant slab of meat! And I am going to need the audio from that sound bite. Getting back to the subject at hand – just how much has the Texas extreme far right fucked over the state?

It is a common theme in world cultures and religions to engage in iniquitous behavior at night, because that God cannot see. The convention has always been a favorite of the Texas Legislature, for what they did in the wee hours of Thursday morning was so obscene that one must hope no one was watching from above.

Around three o’clock in the morning, the Texas House voted, exactly along party lines, to approve an Arizona-style “Show Me Your Papers” law. The bill, Senate Bill 4, would allow police to ask the immigration status of anyone “detained,” a distinction with a very low standard that includes traffic stops. It started out as a proposal to punish so-called sanctuary cities (I prefer “constitutional cities”), which are protected by local police departments that do not zealously cooperate with Immigrations and Customs Enforcement to be deputized into de facto immigrant agents.

Speaker Joe Straus, R-San Antonio, and his top lieutenants, namely Reps. Byron Cook, R-Corsicana, and Charlie Geren, R-Fort Worth, had attempted to craft a solution that would not be quite so hateful, quite so filled with animus. But the Tea Party hijacked the bill on the floor of the House and turned it into the evil hellchild of Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick and former Ariz. Gov. Jan Brewer. Straus & Co. voted against the amendment but supported the underlying bill — along with its evil provisions.

Among these are an allowance to deport children. To deport pregnant people. To allow police the right to raid schools, courthouses, hospitals and even battered women’s shelters

Holy fucking shit!!!! They want to be able to raid court houses and battered women’s shelters? Let’s expand on that one a bit. And why am I not surprised in the least that Dan Patrick is involved in this? You know we previously profiled Dan Patrick as one of the “People Who Somehow Got Elected” (see Idiots #2-10 ). But what is this bill?

Under President Donald Trump—who campaigned on his hard-line anti-immigration stance—immigration officials have ramped up raids to detain undocumented immigrants. Democratic lawmakers last week proposed a bill to prevent Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents from conducting arrests, surveillance, interviews, or other similar activities, at certain locations considered to be sensitive.

Previous ICE memos limited enforcement at places like schools, hospitals, and places of worship as well as events like weddings or funerals. The new bill, called the Protecting Sensitive Locations Act, would expand that policy significantly. Under the Democratic lawmakers’ plan, enforcement would be limited in courthouses, any scholastic event, any bus stop where children are present, health care facilities, domestic violence shelters, rape crisis centers, public assistance offices and DMV offices among other facilities.

The proposed bill would also make the previous sensitive locations outlined in ICE memos into places prohibited by actual law, instead of internal policy.

[font size="4"]Kansas [/font]

Next, we come back to Kansas. We don’t need to tell you facts about Kansas, because we live in a world where facts don’t matter anymore. But Kansas is also the home of Koch Industries – headquartered in Witchita, Kansas. Remember that movie “Undercover Brother” where Eddie Griffin teams up with a secret agency and infiltrates an evil corporation run by “The Man”? Well, in the last few years, “The Man” has revealed his true identity. And now “The Man” is none other than Charles and David Koch – who not only run Koch Industries but also the Heritage Foundation. Which in modern history is currently the root of all fucking evil. Let’s explore further.

Kansas ranked rock-bottom in the three-month change in these metrics from July through September, with a decline of 1.18%. Indeed, it was one of only eight states that showed any decline. The U.S. average gained 0.64%. Most of the other states with negative changes were oil-and-gas producers. Kansas is too, but that industry has been a tiny factor in its economy for years.

How bad is the situation in Kansas? So bad that in August 2015, the Brownback administration stopped publishing a semi-annual report of the state’s economy online; henceforth, members of the public have to make a special request for the document.

A spokesman for the governor said the step was taken because the reports had become the “the subject of careless scrutiny” and were “confusing.” That’s like saying that people might be confused by the setting sun into thinking that night is coming.

Yael Abouhalkah, a Kansas City Star columnist had been tracking the Brownback economy assiduously, got his hands on two recent reports anyway, for November 2015 and February 2016. He found them not confusing at all.

And so when you hit rock bottom, there’s nowhere to go but up from there, is there? Well, Mike Pompeo left the Kansas House to join Trump’s CIA (where he denounced Wikileaks after once favoring it). So what’s been going on in the special election to replace him? Well…

James Thompson, the Democrat running to fill the House seat vacated by Trump administration appointee Mike Pompeo, is seeing a last-minute fundraising surge in the days before Tuesday’s unexpectedly competitive Kansas special election.

Thompson, a civil rights attorney and Army veteran, raised approximately $240,000 in 20,000 individual donations, much of it since Thursday, according to his campaign manager, Colin Curtis. The haul was bolstered by an ActBlue fundraising campaign backed by several progressive grassroots groups, including Daily Kos, Democracy for America, and Our Revolution.

The surge in donations shows a groundswell of support for Thompson, the first Democrat to face voters in a federal election since Donald Trump won the presidency in November. The Democratic Party, however, is staying away from the race.

Thompson dismissed his party’s failure to invest the race as “establishment thinking.”

And then there’s more to it than this. But here’s how you can pundit like a pro. The backlash against Trump is very intense, and Kansas is no victim in it. In fact Kansas is one state in the country that has taken more heat from the election thanks to their support of Trump, and the overwhelming Tea Party majority that has consumed and plagued the state. You know the Tea Party are like locusts – they consume and destroy everything they touch, and leave no stone unturned.

A (hypothetical) congressional race in the Texas Panhandle, which holds one of the most conservative district in the nation, could tell us a lot about how conservatives are feeling three months into Trump's presidency — but not much else.

Which is why the gold-standard for microcosms of the national mood is a district that has roughly the same ethnic and socio-economic makeup of the nation, and one where voters' presidential choices reflected the nation's.

Unfortunately for pundits, these kinds of swing districts aren't easy to come by. Armed with new census data, many state lawmakers slice and dice electoral districts every decade to become more politically homogenous than the nation as a whole.

In the case of the upcoming special elections in Kansas and Georgia, neither district is particularly reflective of the nation: The districts are majority white and majority Republican. (This is especially true for Pompeo's old seat in the Wichita area, where Trump won by nearly 30 points in November).

I like that one! But let’s talk about Sam Brownback and the Koch Brothers’ influence on him. Like I said the GOP are like locusts. They destroy everything they touch. So Trump wants a batshit crazy tax plan that would give to the rich and steal from those who need it. And Trump’s tax plan would essentially be Kansas on steroids:

Shortly after the 2012 elections, with Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback’s (R) radical economic experiment already underway, then-Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) said of his former colleague’s plan, “This is exactly the sort of thing we want to do here, in Washington, but can’t, at least for now.”

The Republican senator was referring, of course, to President Obama standing in the way of Congress imposing a Kansas-style experiment on the entire country.

That’s no longer a concern for GOP policymakers. On the contrary, with Donald Trump in the White House, McConnell’s dream of bringing Brownback’s Kansas experiment to the nation is now possible, and the administration’s ridiculous new tax outline suggests many Republican officials intend to follow Topeka’s lead.

But we’re still not done in how the Tea Party destroyed the state of Kansas. You know the Tea Party started because conservatives were fed up with Obama (when they should have really been fed up with themselves), but the damage done will take decades, maybe even a century to repair and get Kansas back on track.

Next week, Kansas lawmakers will once again try to figure out how to cover a massive shortfall in the state’s budget.

We hope President Donald Trump will be in the gallery, taking notes. That’s because the president’s tax plan, unveiled by the White House Wednesday, strongly resembles the disastrous tax plan passed in Kansas in 2012.

Trump wants to consolidate individual tax brackets and lower the top rate. He would eliminate some deductions and, most crucially, dramatically reduce taxes for business owners, including millions of people who own businesses but pay taxes on their profits as individuals.

Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback’s 2012 tax reform blueprint was quite similar, and we know why. The same worn-out supply-side “experts” helped write both proposals.

[font size="4"]And The Winner Is… [/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, we have our first conference championship winner! And it is Texas, who hangs on to beat Kansas, and they will win the Layover League without fail. After all, Texas had that stunning comeback victory against the almighty Florida Man and hung on to easily beat Kentucky in the first round. Will they win the whole thing? They have just two more rounds before they find out! Cut the net guys, you earned it! Final score – 81 – 73. Kansas, you put up an incredibly good fight and your republicans are evil and crazy. But Texas’ republicans are evil, crazy and just flat out fucking stupid. Next week, it’s the Flyover League championship, where we will be doing a deep dive on one of my favorite subjects – Doomsday Prepping, complete with memes and clips from the recent doomsday flick “10 Cloverfield Lane”. We are just two short rounds away from crowning our Stupidest State!

[font size="8"]And now this:[/font]
[font size="8"]Mastodon[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, playing their new song “Roots Remain” from their amazing new album “Emperor Of Sand”, please welcome Mastodon!

Yeah how about that?

See you next week!

Trump Discusses History - Mad Magazine


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