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Member since: Sat Apr 2, 2005, 03:11 PM
Number of posts: 98,630

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South Park Nailed It Last Night, RE Trump:

Colbert Discusses Trump's Dinner Date With Mitt Romney

You know what people bought the most of on Black Friday? Guns.

Black Friday, a day of commercial consumerism. The lines are wrapped around the buildings waiting for the deals of a lifetime. While you might think most consumers are out there waiting for the latest new toy or the biggest TV, many buyers on Black Friday are buying something totally different.

Black Friday is apparently the day to buy guns. Lots of guns!

According to the FBI spokesman Stephen Fischer, Black Friday shattered the single-day record for gun sales – with 185,713 background checks processed in a 24 hour period. Fischer told Business Insider that nearly 400 more transactions were processed on Black Friday than in 2015.

Black Friday has predominately been the biggest day of the year for gun sales. Buyers can’t resist the temptation of the deep discounts. Gun ownership still remains a hot topic politically. While many breathed a sigh of relief that a Democrat will not be in the White House, many remain concerned about the potential loss of their Second Amendment rights.

As expected, gun sales skyrocket whenever Washington takes an anti-gun approach or states propose a law to make it harder for gun owners to purchase.

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #2-3: Wheel Of Corruption (Or The Unexpected Virtue Of Ignorance) Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #2-3: Wheel Of Corruption (Or: The Unexpected Virtue Of Ignorance) Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! You know is anyone really *THAT* surprised that One Million Moms is losing their collective shit over a new Zales ad that features a lesbian couple exchanging vows and getting married? Really? Could these people possibly any more predictable than they already are? I mean in an era when we’re about to have a fascist white supremacist become the next president of the US, there’s untold war in Syria, and climate change scientists have spelled certain doom for our planet, is this really where we need the outrage directed at this time? I mean One Million Moms couldn’t be more predictable than a New England Patriots 56 – 0 victory over the Cleveland Browns. Yes, the Browns really are that bad. Or as I like to call this group “20 Fat Guys With Keyboards”. Hey o! Can we show that ad?

It’s 3 fucking seconds!!! Which if you think about it, is almost exactly how long Sulu was on screen in Star Trek Beyond with his husband and daughter. I mean seriously let’s get a grip here people! We have a fascist dictator about to take over our government and completely annihilate the constitution, and this is what you are outraged about???? The stupid burns!! Ahhhhhhhhh!!! Ah enough of that. We have a lot of conservative idiocy to get to. But first… Trevor Noah talks about Donald Trump’s plans to go full Nazi:

So where do we start this week? To start with of course Donald Trump is taking up all 4 slots again this week. In the first slot we’re going to talk about yet another insane Twitter toilet binge he went on regarding the proposed recount of the vote, especially now that Hillary Clinton won the popular vote but still lost the electoral college. In the second slot, we’re going to talk about how Premier Trump celebrated Thanksgiving – at his Florida resort, with no less than 24 entrees! Taking the third slot we’re going to talk about Donald Trump’s (3) appointee for education secretary – Betsy DeVos. Taking the 4th slot, this week is once again Donald Trump (4) and we're going to talk about a possible conflict of interest brewing with his business interests not just here, but around the globe, but of course he's ignoring the problem and instead saved jobs! In the number 5 slot we’re going to talk about Donald Trump’s (5) Twitter war with a 16 year old. In the number 6 slot, we’re going to ask “How Is This Still A Thing” and talk about the Electoral College: how is this still a thing? Taking the seventh slot, we’re going to talk about some more Donald Trump Supporters in a new segment that I am calling “The Trump Effect” (7). In the number 8 slot we’re going to take a look at some Donald Trump supporters including a Delta passenger who went ballistic on a flight In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot we’re going to once again talk about Neo Nazis, this time a Russian dance routine is the subject of scrutiny. Finally this week we’re once again going to be talking about music, but we’re instead going to ask the question *cue reverb* WHO’S NOT PLAYING AT TRUMP’S INAUGURATION???? There’s been lots of names being floated about but we’re going to sort fiction from reality! Plus because you’re nice for listening to my schtick, how about some live music? And I know what you’re going to say – “But Initech the new season has started and we’ve only had all dudes playing the music! When are the lady musicians going to be represented?”. *Donald Trump voice* SNIFF! WRONG! Well how about some live music from Florence & The Machine? Does that do anything for you? Well we shall have that for the show closer this week! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

Come on everybody say it with me. It’s time for the WHEEL OF CORRUPTION!!!! Yayyyyyyyyy!!!

And of course if we had a bigger budget we’d have our own graphics and theme music. The wheel is back everybody!! yes just like last time I’ll talk about whatever the wheel lands on. And just like the last time, we too shall have terrible sequel titles with each edition of the Wheel. But this time we're taking a break from terrible sequels and naming this week's edition after a real Best Picture winner! But remember that if it lands on the Guacamole option that it costs $1.50 extra. So this week the items on the wheel will be:
- Gun Nuts
- Go Directly To Jail
- Clip Without Context
- Guacamole
- 5,000
- Dating
- Thanksgiving
- Community Chest
- Bankrupt
- Voter Fraud
- Nazis
- Food
- Music
- Canada
- Racism
- Chance
- Buy A Vowel
- Donald Trump
- My Wife
- Bathrooms
- Whammy
- A Recent Study
- Mad Magazine
- Guns
- VR Headset
- Twitter
- Late Breaking News
- People Who Somehow Got Elected
- 10,000
- How Is This Still A Thing?
- Fox News
- Twitter
- 15,000
- Hate Crimes
- Congress
- Conspiracy Theories
- Santa
- Something random in the news
- ??? (Mystery)
- Florida (Obviously)
- Infowars
- Lightning Round
- Bonus Spin

Spin that shit! No whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Something random in the news!

Holy shit! I wish I could be like that guy – although unless you’re living under a rock you should know about Premier Trump’s plans to go full Nazi. Voter fraud! Or should I say the lack of voter fraud – at least on their side. So another day, another time that Donald Trump shoots his mouth off on Twitter. Seriously at this point I wouldn’t trust Donald Trump to be 5th grade class president. I wouldn’t trust him to be president of a Starbucks, or even the president after winning a late night drunk game of Asshole. Which I can say I was a champion of back in the day. So here’s what is going on:

Washington (CNN)President-elect Donald Trump ripped the election recount on Saturday, calling it "a scam" and "ridiculous" and noting that Hillary Clinton had already conceded.

Trump charged in a statement that the effort was nothing but a fundraising ploy by the Green Party and its nominee, Jill Stein.

"This recount is just a way for Jill Stein, who received less than one percent of the vote overall and wasn't even on the ballot in many states, to fill her coffers with money, most of which she will never even spend on this ridiculous recount," the President-elect said in a statement, which labeled the effort as "ridiculous" in a headline.

On Saturday night, Trump tweeted, "The Green Party scam to fill up their coffers by asking for impossible recounts is now being joined by the badly defeated & demoralized Dems."

And of course like an idiot with a microphone, Donald Trump took to his old pal Twitter to spew some more hateful nonsense and produced this Tweet:

Now that’s real. That one we did not make up. If we were going to make up a Tweet to talk about how insane Donald Trump’s response to the Green Party vote would be, we would do something like this:

But oh no. You would think that’s the last we would be hearing of the recount and Trump’s child like response to it. No, good sir / madam! Even Trump went from being positive to casting his own self doubt in a series of a couple of Tweets!

Update (November 27, 2016, 5:15 P.M.): Donald Trump capped off his Thanksgiving weekend with a classic early-morning Twitter rant directed at the recent petition to recount Wisconsin spearheaded by Green Party candidate Jill Stein. When Hillary Clinton’s campaign announced Saturday that it would help out in Stein’s efforts, Trump opened the floodgates 140-characters at a time. You can see his rant in full below (including a classic Trumpian “Sad”), but a few hours later, Trump finished with an unusual flourish: a tweet calling into question his own victory:

As Vox’s Ezra Klein points out, if Trump’s plan was to delegitimize the Stein-led recount, he rather “lost the thread” with this final tweet. Throughout his campaign, Trump famously hammered home the idea that the 2016 election would be “rigged” when polls (all of them) erroneously had him trailing Clinton across the country. And earlier this week, when sitting down with The New York Times, Trump said that the he was “never a fan of the Electoral College until now” implying that, like many Americans, at one point Trump had a hard time reconciling the notion that the person who wins the most votes doesn’t necessarily win the presidency.

Let’s throw that Tweet up there, shall we?

Holy fuck! I mean seriously how do you decide what’s an illegal vote and what isn’t? But have no fear, while division is growing in this country more than ever, in a classic “move along, nothing to see here” moment, Trump said we must all be united! Yeah, good luck with that, Trump!

PALM BEACH, Fla. -- His Cabinet beginning to take shape, President-elect Donald Trump is offering a Thanksgiving prayer for unity after “a long and bruising” campaign season.

“Emotions are raw and tensions just don’t heal overnight,” the incoming president said in a video message released on the eve of the national holiday. He continued, “It’s my prayer that on this Thanksgiving we begin to heal our divisions and move forward as one country strengthened by shared purpose and very, very common resolve.”

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

Spin that shit! No whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Thanksgiving!

Oh wait, maybe we should show something a bit less graphic.

Spin it again! Donald Trump. So Donald Trump can’t exist without Twitter, and Twitter cannot exist without @realDonaldTrump. He’s been busy all right! In fact while most of us were stuffing our faces with turkey and trying not to kill each other when our racist uncles started talking about Premier Trump, here’s what he Tweeted!

Yes! He’s the hardest working American even on Thanksgiving! So how did this really pan out?

Donald Trump closed out the Thanksgiving holiday weekend by tweeting an outrageous lie about the 2016 election.

"In addition to winning the Electoral College in a landslide, I won the popular vote if you deduct the millions of people who voted illegally," the president-elect tweeted on Sunday.

He went on to directly target states he lost: "Serious voter fraud in Virginia, New Hampshire and California — so why isn't the media reporting on this? Serious bias — big problem!"

To begin with the obvious: There is no evidence whatsoever that any of this happened. The claim of millions voting illegally appears to have come from a "story" published by conspiracy website Infowars, which has also promulgated claims that the Sandy Hook massacre was faked and Hillary Clinton is a "demon from hell."

Yes! He spent Thanksgiving weekend on Twitter! Well, so did I, but I wasn’t recently elected leader of the free world here! And of course Premier Trump wasted no time doing what he does best – a series of extremely angry 3:00AM toilet Tweets. I mean who could forget this one from a couple of years ago?

If there’s one thing we ask of a president, it’s that they be inclusive of all, and President-elect Trump, in a very bizarre way, kinda sorta, did that three years ago in the most Trumpian way ever.

While most people have Thanksgiving messages of hope and gratitude, Donald Trump wants everyone to know that he wants their day to be happy. Absolutely everyone. Even the “haters and losers.”

Here’s Trump’s Thanksgiving Day message he tweeted out three years ago:


Yes. That’s a guy who will suddenly have the most power in the free world. Can you just imagine this guy with nuclear launch codes? But there’s more! You know what? Of course Donald Trump celebrated Thanksgiving in the most Donald Trump way possible! Here’s what his menu consisted of:

NBC News reported Wednesday that the family's Florida Thanksgiving was guarded by a contingent of at least 150 Secret Service personnel. A Homeland Security official told NBC News that the cost to the taxpayer of that operation alone would reach $7 million.

Trump's security is currently running at than $2 million a day, according to internal Homeland Security and Secret Service documents reviewed by NBC News. That number that is sure to increase whenever the president or the first lady travels — or when the threat level rises.

The New York Police Department is already handling external security at Trump Tower, the president-elect's Manhattan home base, at an estimated cost of $1 million per day.

First off that was an actual promotion for the Apprentice during a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Second - Yes! The Donald Trump Thanksgiving menu consisted of no less than 24 entrees, appetizers and desserts. Which include – and I’m not making this up – farm fresh deviled eggs (grown on Trump Farms I presume!), ahi tuna martinis, oven roasted turkey with house-made gravy, leg of lamb, sea bass, clams, 4 different types of salads, scallops, 5 different kinds of pie, eclairs, and something called “Mr. Trump’s Wedge Salad”, which I presume is a head of lettuce with his face on it.

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

Spin that shit! No whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy stop! And it lands on Community Chest! So let’s see what I get shall we?

Thank you! I will take that one! At least nothing bad comes by this card, does it? Spin it again! Donald Trump. So by now I’m sure you’ve heard that over the weekend Donald Trump picked Betsy DeVos as his new secretary of education. Which is funny because didn’t Donald Trump want to cut the department of education?

Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump suggested Sunday that he would eliminate several federal agencies if he were elected president.

Asked on “Fox News Sunday” how he would cut spending, Trump named the Department of Education and the Environmental Protection Agency as potential targets.

“No, I’m not cutting services, but I’m cutting spending. But I may cut Department of Education. I believe Common Core is a very bad thing. I believe that we should be — you know, educating our children from Iowa, from New Hampshire, from South Carolina, from California, from New York. I think that it should be local education,” Trump said.

“So the Department of Education is one,” he continued. “Environmental Protection, what they do is a disgrace. Every week they come out with new regulations.”

So if you’re keeping score at home so far Donald Trump’s cabinet members consist of: millionaire, millionaire, billionaire, billionaire, millionaire, and for some reason Ben Carson was thrown in the mix. So what else do we know about Betsy DeVos?

WASHINGTON—In response to President-elect Donald Trump’s nomination of Betsy DeVos to lead the Department of Education, AFT President Randi Weingarten issued the following statement:

“The president-elect, in his selection of Betsy DeVos, has chosen the most ideological, anti-public education nominee put forward since President Carter created a Cabinet-level Department of Education.

“In nominating DeVos, Trump makes it loud and clear that his education policy will focus on privatizing, defunding and destroying public education in America.

“DeVos has no meaningful experience in the classroom or in our schools. The sum total of her involvement has been spending her family’s wealth in an effort to dismantle public education in Michigan. Every American should be concerned that she would impose her reckless and extreme ideology on the nation.

Yes let’s back up – way the fuck up! So again if you’re keeping score at home, Donald Trump has nominated a business man for secretary of state, a brain surgeon to head the Housing & Urban Planning Commission, a white nationalist conspiracy theorist, to be his press secretary, and now a billionaire with ZERO education experience as his secretary of education. So qualified people to run important government positions in Trump's government? ZERO!!! So who is Betsy DeVos? Well people in Michigan know her for her extremely divisive rhetoric involving school vouchers.

In the homepage of almost any major news publication, one can read about the latest bombastic actions of the current crop of conservative candidates – Trump, Cruz, Carson etc. Behind all of the pageantry and show, however, it is critical for people of conscience to consider how big-money donors can influence public policy. Most people have heard of big spenders like the Koch brothers or the Walton family—well known for using their money to shape not only policies, but also the very infrastructure of our political system. But who are those deep-pocketed names we’ve never heard of?

The DeVos family—Michigan-based builders of the Amway fortune—is one of the most influential families in conservative U.S. politics. Their agenda includes many items on the Corporate and Christian Right’s wish lists, including so-called “right to work” laws that weaken unions, discriminatory Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA) bills, and education privatization (including pushing school vouchers that transfer public dollars to private religious coffers). Although some of their higher-profile activities such as Dick DeVos’ failed 2006 race for Michigan governor and Richard DeVos´ ownership of the Orlando Magic basketball team are covered in the press, their political spending has gotten far less attention. This year 435 seats will be contested in the House of Representatives, 35 in the Senate and 13 gubernatorial races will take place alongside local and county elections; therefore it is critically important for the country to see and debate the influence that rich families like the DeVoses are wielding in politics.

And then there’s this:

Donald Trump has nominated extensive Republican donor and staunch school choice advocate Betsy DeVos to be his Education Secretary.

Her family’s net worth is in the billions of dollars.

DeVos adds gender diversity to Trump’s cabinet. Her selection, announced on November 23, comes the same day Trump picked South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley to be ambassador to the UN. Devos has powerful family ties; her husband is the heir to a $5 billion fortune and her brother is Blackwater founder and U.S. Navy Seal Erik Prince.

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

Entering the spin zone! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy……… stop! Mad Magazine! Can we show that?

Though I can imagine the Twitter shit storm that Donald Trump is going to launch after seeing this:

Spin it again! And it lands on Donald Trump! Ugh… do we have to keep talking about Donald Trump? I mean yes unfortunately he is going to be our 45th president. Which means we have to deal with it and his brain dead supporters. But you know Donald Trump’s business properties make him a target for the FEC and SEC. Not to mention it exposes the GOP’s extreme hypocrisy. Take a look at what one Congressman said.

The House Oversight Democrats argued that the Trump family’s global holdings will create conflicts of interest around the world.

Republicans are already treating Trump differently than they treated President Obama. During his time in office, Obama has dealt with a House Republican majority that spent years investigating baseless conspiracy theories, but when presented with a president-elect who has refused all calls for transparency, these same House Republicans have chosen to look the other way.

The Trump conflict of interest story is not going to go away. It will likely be a theme of his presidency.

Now what actually happened when asked about Trump if he would hold Trump to the same standards as Obama, they got this:

In August, when it looked likely that Hillary Clinton would win the presidency, Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah), chairman of the House Oversight Committee, insisted that no one should have any doubt that he would be tough on the next president when it came to personal financial entanglements.

"If you're going to run and try to become the president of the United States, you're going to have to open up your kimono and show everything, your tax returns, your medical records. You are just gonna have to do that. It's too important," Chaffetz said.

But Chaffetz, who just 11 days before the election quickly blasted out the news that FBI Director James Comey had "reopened" the FBI investigation in Clinton's emails (which was not quite true), has become quiet on the question of what's under Trump's kimono.

However, did you hear that Donald Trump saved jobs? Yes take that whiny liberals!

About 1,400 Indianapolis workers who've spent months grieving the impending loss of of their high-wage manufacturing jobs received a shocking dose of hope Tuesday as the incoming Trump administration scored its first major victory.

Their jobs might be saved.

Carrier Corp. has reached an agreement with President-elect Donald Trump to keep "close to 1,000 jobs" in the city, scrapping a plan to shift all of its Indianapolis operations to Mexico. The heating and air conditioning giant confirmed the agreement on Twitter, but did not provide details

Yes, ladies and gentlemen! He saved 1,000 high paying manufacturing jobs from moving to China! Which would be great news, if it weren't for the fact that Obama owned him by about 100,000 times that and then some:

There is also a math problem that Trump doesn’t want to face. While 1,000 jobs will be staying in the US, at least 1,100 jobs will be moving to Mexico.

Obama saved 1.2 million jobs. Trump is at (-100). The president-elect will get loads of publicity out of his Indiana appearance, and that is what this is all about. President Obama has lamented the fact that he hasn’t effectively gotten the message to voters about his accomplishments.

Donald Trump is going to be the complete opposite. As President Of The United States, Trump is going to continue to sell his every move as the biggest, most earth-shaking development in presidential history. Prepare for four years of endless hype that will never match the substance.

So Donald Trump saved jobs! We liberals should bow down to the almighty! Well we're not doing that because if you look at Donald Trump's math, he saved 1,000 jobs but cost 1,100. So to use Donald Trump's math, he saved 100 jobs. Which compared to the amount of jobs Obama saved is about 0.0001% with a +-0.00001% margin of error. So Donald Trump will save high paying manufacturing jobs in Indiana, because they might be potential Trump Industries customers, and he'll take out the press. So you win some you lose some. But Trump’s most favorite source of news – the “failing” New York Times – reports that Donald Trump has business interests around the globe that could potentially conflict with him becoming our next president:

MANILA — On Thanksgiving Day, a Philippine developer named Jose E. B. Antonio hosted a company anniversary bash at one of Manila’s poshest hotels. He had much to be thankful for.

In October, he had quietly been named a special envoy to the United States by the Philippine president, Rodrigo Duterte. Mr. Antonio was nearly finished building a $150 million tower in Manila’s financial district — a 57-story symbol of affluence and capitalism, which bluntly promotes itself with the slogan “Live Above the Rest.” And now his partner on the project, Donald J. Trump, had just been elected president of the United States.

After the election, Mr. Antonio flew to New York for a private meeting at Trump Tower with the president-elect’s children, who have been involved in the Manila project from the beginning, as have Mr. Antonio’s children. The Trumps and Antonios have other ventures in the works, including Trump-branded resorts in the Philippines, Mr. Antonio’s son Robbie Antonio said.

But there’s more – so much more! In fact it’s prompting a showdown in Congress over potential business conflicts of interest.

Because Republicans control Congress, Democrats have no investigative power. They can't make Trump answer questions about how his holdings around the world clash with his duties as president.

But Democrats are pulling other levers — launching letter campaigns, planning to recruit sympathetic Republicans, encouraging outside watchdog groups and petitioning federal agencies to police conflicts themselves.

"Trump seems to believe he's above the law," Representative Elijah Cummings of Maryland, the top Democrat on the House Oversight Committee, told CNNMoney. "That's dangerous for democracy, and it's our duty to look at these situations."

But could Trump put a stop to this before it becomes a problem? Look who you’re asking!

President-elect Donald Trump has given no indication that he will sell any of his vast business holdings before he takes office.

But if he really wants to eliminate conflicts of interest unlike anything an American president has ever presented, he has some options.

They would be both messy and financially painful. But Trump himself once said that his company would be "peanuts" compared with his responsibility as president.

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

Entering the spin zone! No whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy stop! And it lands on… bankrupt! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Spin it again. Twitter. Well someone who is morally bankrupt is our 45th president Donald J. Trump, and especially since he might be the first president with a merchandise booth at the White House. I give you the officially licensed Donald J. Trump “Make America Great Again” Christmas ornament, which is retailing for a whopping $149, but don’t be surprised if it doesn’t try to build a wall around your presents!

The election is over and Donald Trump is the president-elect, but there's still plenty of campaign merchandise to be had. One item for sale on the Trump campaign website is a Christmas ornament designed to look like one of the iconic "Make America Great Again" hats.

This particular item has drawn attention in recent days, primarily because it is finished in 24-karat gold and costs $149.

It is also available for sale on Amazon — which claims it is actually 14K gold — at an even steeper asking price of $222 and up. As with Megyn Kelly's recently published memoir, there appears to be a politically-motivated effort to bring down the ornament's Amazon rating. Of the 121 reviews published as of 6:45 p.m. ET Friday, 75% gave the Trumpian holiday decoration the lowest rating of one star.

Well you might be bankrupt after buying this but that still doesn’t make Donald Trump or your Christmas tree any less morally bankrupt. So Donald Trump once again took to his old pal Twitter to convey some really angry messages regarding protestors outside Trump tower burning the American flag.

Donald Trump went on a Twitter rant Monday evening, quoting several users -- including one who says he is a teenager -- who argued that he was being unfairly targeted for his voter fraud claims.

Trump raised eyebrows Sunday when he said, without providing evidence, that he would have won the popular vote had "millions of people" not voted illegally. He also said that "serious voter fraud" existed in California, New Hampshire and Virginia.

The statements drew criticism from secretaries of state in those jurisdiction as well as disavowal from the authors of studies cited by his transition team to justify the president-elect's claim.

When pressed today, Trump's team provided no evidence of voter fraud.

Yes Donald Trump quoted a teenager about the voter fraud issue. Don’t worry – news is still coming out about this and we’ll dive head first into it next week. Not to mention he went batshit crazy on the subject of flag burning. Before we get into the heart of this entry let’s do some fact checking on a bullshit meme the deplorables are passing around Twitter in regards to the flag burning issue:

While president-elect Donald Trump has taken flack from civil libertarians for his sudden resurrection of the flag-burning issue, it’s worth noting that his former general election opponent Hillary Clinton once came under fire from liberal allies for sponsoring a bill that aimed to throw those who burned the flag in prison.

Clinton’s stance on flag-burning is complicated to say the least. In theory, she has consistently opposed a flag-burning amendment, and voted against it when it came up for a vote in 2006. But a year earlier, she sponsored a bill that was widely seen as a runaround the Supreme Court precedent outlawing the desecration of flags.

The Flag Protection Act of 2005 would have banned “destroying or damaging a U.S. flag with the primary purpose and intent to incite or produce imminent violence or a breach of the peace,” punishable with a year in prison. In theory, that was different from previous flag-burning bills, which banned all flag burning. In support for the bill, Clinton cited the Supreme Court’s 2003 decision in Virginia v. Black, which found that bans on cross-burning were unconstitutional, but constitutional when limited to incitement and threats of violence.

So the Deplorables are saying that Hillary Clinton wants jail time and $100,000 in fines for anyone caught burning the American flag in protest. Well….

Flag Protection Act of 2005 - Amends the federal criminal code to revise provisions regarding desecration of the flag to prohibit: (1) destroying or damaging a U.S. flag with the primary purpose and intent to incite or produce imminent violence or a breach of the peace; (2) intentionally threatening or intimidating any person, or group of persons, by burning a U.S. flag; or (3) stealing or knowingly converting the use of a U.S. flag belonging to the United States, or belonging to another person on U.S. lands, and intentionally destroying or damaging that flag.

That’s right! The exact text of the bill introduced in 2005 did not specifically say that $100,00 fines and jail time are punishment for flag burning. The bill introduced in 2005 says nothing of the sort. But that doesn’t matter to Donald Trump or the deplorables. Here’s what Premier Trump said about flag burning. Can we throw that Tweet up there?

Donald Trump’s horrifying post-election Twitter spree continued apace on Tuesday morning when the president-elect declared that flag-burning should be outlawed in the United States, possibly in response to reports that college students protesting his victory burned an American flag.

First, the obvious: The Supreme Court has repeatedly held that flag-burning is a form of symbolic speech protected by the First Amendment. In 1989 and 1990, the court struck down state and federal flag desecration bans as unconstitutional censorship. It is “a bedrock principle underlying the First Amendment,” the court explained, that “the government may not prohibit the expression of an idea simply because society finds the idea itself offensive or disagreeable.” Flag burning is a quintessential form of dissent, a forceful protest against the United States itself. Such political expression lies at the heart of the First Amendment. “We do not consecrate the flag by punishing its desecration,” the court wrote in 1989’s Texas v. Johnson, “for in doing so we dilute the freedom that this cherished emblem represents.”

Second, the less obvious: The involuntary loss of citizenship for engaging in dissent would constitute an outrageous violation of the Constitution’s most critical guarantees. Free speech issues aside, revocation of a flag-burner’s citizenship without his consent would violate both the 8th Amendment’s ban on cruel and unusual punishments as well as the Due Process Clause of the 5th Amendment, which bars punitive expatriation.

Holy fuck!!!!! In one Tweet, Donald Trump completely destroyed the idea of freedom to protest, one of the very fundamental elements of the first amendment. This is why we should not elect anyone who has no government experience. But there’s more! So much, much more!

Trump may have been inspired by protests over the weekend at Hampshire College in Amherst, Mass., where school administrators took down all flags on campus after an American flag was burned by students.

But there's a big catch to Trump's proposal.

A 1989 Supreme Court decision, Texas v. Johnson, said burning the flag is a protest protected by the First Amendment. Among those voting with the court majority in that case was the late Justice Antonin Scalia, who died in February, and whom Trump has repeatedly cited as a model for the kind of justice he would appoint to the nation's highest court. Scalia's seat on the bench remains unfilled, after the Republican-controlled Senate refused to hold hearings on President Obama's choice to replace him. That likely means nominating a new Supreme Court justice will be among Trump's first tasks after taking office.

While that’s frightening considering that oh yes, they’re going there. But one thing that puzzles me – can anyone explain what Donald was doing in this picture?

That flag *SHOULD* be burned!

[font size="8"]The Electoral College[/font]

Let’s give the wheel a good strong spin, shall we? And it lands on……… wait for it………. Clip without context!

Someone please tell me Aaron Rodgers was *NOT* using that tent to take a shit, which makes that guy following him officially have the worst job in the NFL. Spin it again! And it lands on………. How Is This Still A Thing?

And now it’s time for another installment of:

The Electoral College: How Is This Still A Thing? In the very first entry this week, we talked a lot about Donald Trump screaming about voter fraud. But let’s give some back history on the electoral college and why Donald Trump might make that claim.

Washington (CNN)President-elect Donald Trump alleged Sunday, without evidence, that "millions of people" voted illegally for Hillary Clinton and otherwise he would have won the popular vote. It's an unprecedented allegation by a president-elect.
Trump won the Electoral College and thus the White House, but the Democratic nominee leads him in the popular vote by about two million ballots.

"In addition to winning the Electoral College in a landslide, I won the popular vote if you deduct the millions of people who voted illegally," Trump tweeted.

"It would have been much easier for me to win the so-called popular vote than the Electoral College in that I would only campaign in 3 or 4- states instead of the 15 states that I visited. I would have won even more easily and convincingly (but smaller states are forgotten)!" he added.

So Donald Trump is not only claiming that he would have won the Electoral College, anyways, but let’s go into the back history of the electoral college. You might remember a case that happened in late 2000 called Bush V. Gore that threw out the popular *AND* electoral college and let SCOTUS decide who the president was?

In Bush v. Gore (2000), a divided Supreme Court ruled that the state of Florida's court-ordered manual recount of vote ballots in the 2000 presidential election was unconstitutional. The case proved to be the climax of the contentious presidential race between Vice President Al Gore and Texas Governor George W. Bush. The outcome of the election hinged on Florida, where Governor Bush led Vice President Gore by about 1,800 votes the morning after Election Day. Because the returns were so close, Florida law called for an automatic machine recount of ballots. The recount resulted in a dramatic tightening of the race, leaving Bush with a bare 327-vote lead out of almost 6 million ballots cast. With the race so close, Florida law allowed Gore the option of "manual vote recounts" in the counties of his choosing. Gore opted for manual recounts in four counties with widespread complaints of voting machine malfunction: Broward, Miami-Dade, Volusia, and Palm Beach. However, Florida law also required that the state's election results be certified by the Secretary of State, Katherine Harris, within seven days of the election (by November 14, 2000). Three of the four counties, frantically laboring through the tedious manual recount, were unable to complete the process by the deadline.

I like that one. But there’s a troubling reason why the Electoral College still exists. And while that particular reason was overturned with the 13th Amendment. And why was it the 13th Amendment? Everyone knows that the number 13 is generally bad luck! But here’s more of why the Electoral College still exists – and it’s frightening.

The Founding Fathers had something particular in mind when they set up the U.S. presidential election system: slavery

As Americans await the quadrennial running of the presidential obstacle course now known as the Electoral College, it’s worth remembering why we have this odd political contraption in the first place. After all, state governors in all 50 states are elected by popular vote; why not do the same for the governor of all states, a.k.a. the president? The quirks of the Electoral College system were exposed this week when Donald Trump secured the presidency with an Electoral College majority, even as Hillary Clinton took a narrow lead in the popular vote.

Some claim that the founding fathers chose the Electoral College over direct election in order to balance the interests of high-population and low-population states. But the deepest political divisions in America have always run not between big and small states, but between the north and the south, and between the coasts and the interior.


Holy shit. It’s 2016 and most of these archaic laws that were passed in the 1700s still have not been overturned because… reasons. And also Jesus. But mainly let’s go with Jesus. And here’s some more back story behind why the Electoral College still exists.

When the founders of the U.S. Constitution in 1787 considered whether America should let the people elect their president through a popular vote, James Madison said that “Negroes” in the South presented a “difficulty … of a serious nature.”

During that same speech on Thursday, July 19, Madison instead proposed a prototype for the same Electoral College system the country uses today. Each state has a number of electoral votes roughly proportioned to population and the candidate who wins the majority of votes wins the election.

Madison, now known as the “Father of the Constitution,” was a slave-owner in Virginia, which at the time was the most populous of the 13 states if the count included slaves, who comprised about 40 percent of its population.

Madison knew that the North would outnumber the South, despite there being more than half a million slaves in the South who were their economic vitality, but could not vote. His proposition for the Electoral College included the “three-fifths compromise,” where black people could be counted as three-fifths of a person, instead of a whole. This clause garnered the state 12 out of 91 electoral votes, more than a quarter of what a president needed to win.

But slavery isn’t the only reason why the Electoral College exists. Here’s a counter argument that the Electoral College is more helpful than hurtful:

There is hardly anything in the Constitution harder to explain, or easier to misunderstand, than the electoral college. And when a presidential election hands the palm to a candidate who comes in second in the popular vote but first in the electoral college tally, something deep in our democratic viscera balks and asks why the electoral college shouldn’t be dumped as a useless relic of 18th century white, gentry privilege.

Actually, there have been only five occasions when a closely divided popular vote and the electoral vote have failed to point in the same direction. No matter. After last week’s results, we’re hearing a litany of complaints: the electoral college is undemocratic, the electoral college is unnecessary, the electoral college was invented to protect slavery — and the demand to push it down the memory hole.


Yes it’s him. He will make the best dictator. Nobody will ever make a better dictator than he does. The best dictators come from Trump Tower. That’s enough to make you ask – the Electoral College:

[font size="8"]The Trump Effect[/font]

Spin that shit! No whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… STOP! A recent study! Well this one really isn’t that recent – it was published in 1991. But now the effects are very chilling to say the least!


What came to be known as the "Third Wave" began at Cubberly High School in Palo Alto as a game without any direct reference to Nazi Germany, says Ron Jones, who had just begun his first teaching job in the 1966-67 academic year. When a social studies student asked about the German public's responsibility for the rise of the Third Reich, Jones decided to try and simulate what happened in Germany by having his students "basically follow instructions" for a day.

But one day turned into five, and what happened by the end of the school week spawned several documentaries, studies and related social experiments illuminating a dark side of human nature - and a major weakness in public education.

Jones decided he had to end the experiment immediately, but without losing the point of the lesson. He had the three skeptics escorted to the library for their own safety, and then told those remaining that the Third Wave was more than an exercise, that it was more than just a game.

Spin it again! Hate crimes!

Needless to say I spent a lot of my Thanksgiving weekend watching the Simpsons marathon on FXX. But getting back to the subject – hate crimes. Specifically those committed by Donald Trump fans. Like this one:

A supporter of Vice President-elect Mike Pence faces a court hearing next month after police said he called two women in a New York City diner racist names and pepper-sprayed a bystander who defended them.

Frank Camino, 56, is scheduled to appear in court on Dec. 19 on charges of assault with intent to cause physical injury, attempted assault, recklessly causing injury and harassment in the second degree, local news website Gothamist reported.

Or there’s this. To quote Mayor Quimby from the Simpsons: “Are these morons getting louder or just dumber?”:

A Chicago shopper was filmed having a meltdown inside of a Michaels craft store, during which she accused the staff of discriminating against her for being white and for voting for Donald Trump.

“And I voted for Trump, so there. You want to kick me out because of that? And look who won,” the unidentified woman is heard yelling at employees.

According to the 10-minute video uploaded to YouTube, the woman believed that a black employee had tried to “force” her to purchase a $1 reusable bag. Employees can be heard telling her that they offered her the bag because they were out of disposable ones that met the size of her larger items.

Or there’s this:

Around 5:45 p.m. on November 15, a Muslim student was smashed in the face with a glass bottle near the northeast entrance to Mary Gates Hall on the University of Washington campus, according to a UW police report.

The suspect, who the female victim described as male, in a black sweatshirt, hit her on the right cheek near her eye, then fled, taking the bottle with him. She was in too much pain to provide police with a written statement immediately, but, as was announced during a press conference Monday at UW’s Red Square, she suffered heavy bruising, swelling, and a concussion. The young woman was wearing a headscarf at the time of the attack. The UW police investigation is ongoing.

Or there's this:

An Arizona mother said she hopes cruel birthday cupcakes given to her teenage daughter will become a “teachable moment” about the horrors of the Holocaust.

Deborah Muller, of Paradise Valley, said her daughter’s 14th birthday party this month included cupcakes that guests were allowed to frost. Two girls, who Muller said are friends of her daughter, decorated cupcakes with chocolate swastikas, even though the birthday girl is Jewish, according to KPNX-TV.

Muller said in a now-deleted Facebook post that the girls told her they did it to “be funny.” She said the teens all recently learned about the Holocaust in school, and were aware of the symbol’s meaning.

Yeah I’m not seeing a pattern or anything! By the way, at least some good news involving the Trump Effect - Kellogg is joining some other advertisers and boycotting alt right hate website Breitbart:

Kellogg, the food manufacturer that owns Pringles and Pop-Tarts, confirmed Tuesday that it will discontinue advertising on Breitbart.com, the far-right news and commentary site that was formerly run by a top aide of President-elect Donald Trump, Steve Bannon.

The site has come under fire on social media in recent days as consumers, angered at what they say is its racist, sexist and anti-Semitic content, publicly name its advertisers. Bannon worked as executive chairman of Breitbart News until he left to run Trump's campaign. He was scheduled to return to Breitbart, but earlier this month, Trump named Bannon his chief strategist, stirring more of the site's critics to call out its content and appeal to its advertisers.

"We regularly work with our media buying partners to ensure our ads do not appear on sites that aren't aligned with our values as a company," Kellogg spokesperson Kris Charles in a statement. "This involves reviewing websites where ads could potentially be placed using filtering technology to assess site content. As you can imagine, there is a very large volume of websites, so occasionally something is inadvertently missed. In this case, we learned from consumers that ads were placed on Breitbart.com and decided to discontinue advertising there."

But Breitbart is hopping mad! Their CEO has declared war on big cereal now! I swear Lewis Black was right - how do you satirize something which is already satirical?

Breitbart and some of its right-wing audience are now declaring a war on advertisers who are dropping the site. The site’s CEO Larry Solov said, “We’ll handle this the way we always do — war.”

Solov added, “What you’re seeing is Kellogg’s and others buying into a false, left-wing narrative that our 45 million readers are deplorables … Our readers are mainstream America and, frankly, that’s who these advertisers risk alienating. They’re creating economic censorship of conservative discourse. They say we don’t represent their values — but we represent American values.”

At least one blogger seemed to agree with Solov’s assessment. John Hinderaker wrote for PowerLineBlog.com that Frosted Flakes should be boycotted — much like Hamilton and Starbucks.

First off - get off your fucking high horse. You do not have 45,000,000 readers. You're missing a decimal point in there somewhere. And second, it's war folks! Pass the butter, we shall keep tabs on this story and see how it plays out! Who does Larry Solov think he is? Daffy Duck?

[font size="8"]Donald Trump Supporters[/font]

Spin it to win it! And it lands on.......... wait for it.................. Canada! So this might be the most Canadian punishment ever:

Talk about cruel and unusual punishment!

The Canadian town of Kensington has hit upon a genius plan to detract its residents from drinking and driving this holiday season.

Not only will the cops charge you, they’ll also blast Nickelback while they haul you to jail.

The Kensington Police Service laid down the law in a Facebook post over the weekend for those “dumb enough to feel they can drink and drive.”

“When we catch you, and we will catch you,” the department added, “on top of a hefty fine, a criminal charge and a years driving suspension we will also provide you with a bonus gift of playing the offices copy of Nickelback in the cruiser on the way to jail.”

What? No! I'm not going to play Nickelback! Isn't our audience already punished enough? How about some Weird Al instead?

Spin it again. Racism. Something is in the air folks! Donald Trump supporters are going almost as batshit crazy as he is! And they can’t be gracious winners. Instead, they’ve become self aware and are attacking us sore loser liberals at an alarming rate. In fact since the election we’ve covered the fact that hate crimes have spurred at an alarming rate. Oh it’s so much better than rioting they tell us! They’re the more sophisticated hatemongers! In what fucking world are either of these things OK? Take a look at what Sean Hannity is saying – he’s declared himself an enemy of the first amendment! Hey Sean Hannity you do realize that as a member of the press, if freedom of the press were overturned you’d be directly affected??? Apparently not.

Last night, Hannity said at the opening of his show:

HANNITY: And tonight, President-elect Donald Trump beats down the abusively biased alt radical left mainstream media. Trump senior adviser Kellyanne Conway will join us in a few minutes. But first, the president-elect is now fighting back against the press that openly colluded with the Clinton campaign and that tried to undermine his candidacy every single step of the way.

This, from the guy who flew colleague Newt Gingrich to meet with Trump in order to push Gingrich as a VP pick; from the network that leaked information about a debate question to Trump before the first Republican candidates’ debate; from the network whose CEO was advising Trump as early as June, 2015.

Hannity went on to suggest that CNN is not worthy to cover Hannity’s beloved Trump because contributor Van Jones “viciously attacked Donald Trump on a consistent basis.”

This would be funny were it not so despicable. Jones is a contributor because he’s paid to give his opinion. So is Hannity but he does it for a full hour, five nights a week. It’s hard to think of anyone who spends more time viciously attacking anyone he disagrees with politically. How much time did Hannity devote to meritless smears about Hillary Clinton's health? Hannity also helped promote his beloved Trump’s bogus birtherism. And how about Hannity’s campaign to promote criminal Cliven Bundy’s armed insurrection against the U.S.? I could go on and on about Hannity’s viciousness but I think you get the idea.

Read more at http://www.newshounds.us/_great_american_hannity_declares_himself_an_enemy_of_the_first_amendment_112316#1ahkTuj3RstYhblm.99

Holy fuck! In one paragraph, Sean Hannity just declared war on the one thing that keeps him employed! It’s that pesky first amendment. You know the thing that guarantees you freedom of speech, the press, religion, and the right to protest, and methinks Sean does that just a little too much! You know Sean, if freedom of the press were abolished, under state run TV, there are no opinion networks! So what happens next? Now that Trump has won, his supporters aren’t taking things lying down! No sir / madam! Look at what happened on this flight on Delta over the weekend.

Man Calls Passengers “Hillary Bitches” During Pro-Trump Rant On A Flight

A man on a Delta flight on Tuesday went on a pro-Trump rant, telling passengers, “We got some Hillary bitches on here,” according to widely-shared video on social media.

The video showed the man mid-rant, appearing to ask passengers if they voted for Trump or Clinton.
“Donald Trump, baby!” the man was heard saying.
He then pointed to another passenger saying, “That’s right, this man knows what’s up.”

He then appeared to address some other passengers saying, “We got some Hillary bitches on here.”

“Donald Tump! He’s your president, every goddamn one of you. If you don’t like it, too bad,” the man said before taking his seat.

He was reportedly taken away by flight attendants for “at least 15 minutes” before he returned to his seat.

Yes there’s a clip of this. But my favorite thing is about how the airline responded:

The CEO of Delta Airlines responded Monday to a video of a man berating “Hillary bitches” on a flight last week, defending the flight crew’s decision not to kick the man off the plane but saying that he would not be allowed on a Delta flight again.

“After questioning the customer, our team members made the best decision they could given the information they had and allowed him to remain on the flight,” CEO Ed Bastian’s memo to staff reads in part. “However, if our colleagues had witnessed firsthand what was shown in the video, there is no question they would have removed him from the aircraft.”

The memo states that passengers on the Tuesday morning flight from Atlanta to Allentown, Pennsylvania would be refunded the cost of their tickets and that the man in the video “will never again be allowed on a Delta plane.”

In a video posted to Facebook by Emma Baum, one of the passengers on the flight is seen standing up from his seat and yelling about Donald Trump to the rest of the plane.

Read more: http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/delta-bans-trump-supporter-viral-video-rant

There’s also one more incident that I need to report on. So Donald Trump made pussy grabbing a thing and it’s an extremely horrible, low taste, no class type of thing. Well one guy took this just a little too far:

According to a letter sent out by Vice President for Student Development Tony Chambers, a student at the college started a campaign to let students and others express their feelings about the outcome of the election by placing notes on a table in the commons.

One note — bearing the phrase “Suck it up, pussies!” — was placed on the inside window of the Office of Student Diversity and Inclusion, eliciting outrage within the traumatized academic community.

According to the letter, “A group of cross-functional college staff representing campus security, student conduct, human resources, Title IX enforcement, and diversity and inclusion measures convened Tuesday morning to discuss how to address the hateful message,” the letter continued. “The group determined that the message constituted a Hate Crime, based on guidelines from the Jeanne Clery Act and state law. In accordance with the policies and procedures set forth in the Edgewood College Student Code of Conduct, this incident has been reported to the Madison Police Department and is currently being investigated as a Hate Crime.”


I like that one!

[font size="8"]White Supremacists[/font]

Spin it to win it! Come on no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy no whammy… stop! Clip without context!

That is actually very fitting for this next entry. Spin it again! Nazis!

So once again we use the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot to talk about white supremacists and white supremacy because let’s face it, in the era of Donald Trump, it’s going to get a whole lot worse. I mean just last week we talked about how a Maggiano’s restaurant in a DC suburb unknowingly hosted a white power rally starring the self proclaimed second coming of Hitler, Tila Tequila. Which protest organizers are already declaring a win:

When the Italian restaurant Maggiano's hosted a dinner for a white heritage think tank last week, protesters demonstrated outside and even briefly entered the building, though they were unable to reach the diners.

Ultimately, the Friendship Heights establishment apologized for "inadvertently hosting this meeting, which resulted in hateful sentiment," and pledged their profits from the evening to the D.C. office of the Anti-Defamation League.

"I really think that Friday was a win," says Mike Isaacson, an organizer with Smash Racism DC. "Maggiano's made a genuine apology and donated as a token of atonement."

He takes the restaurant at its word when representatives say they didn't know that the National Policy Institute was a white nationalist group. Former reality star turned neo Nazi Tila Tequila posted a photo of herself and two men doing a Nazi salute in Maggiano's.

You know, there are no winners here. Either way, if you willingly attend a white power rally hosted by former reality star and current psych ward poster girl Tila Tequila, you’re still a loser!

Which brings me to the main entry this week. So if you’re a Holocaust survivor, there’s nothing I can say about what happened. And we’ll never, ever make fun of that. But…we can make fun of this! So this happened:

(CNN) A Holocaust-themed ice skating routine on a Russian reality television show, involving the wife of a high-level aide to President Vladimir Putin, has sparked outrage around the world.

The act was based on the award-winning 1997 Italian film, "Life is Beautiful," which tells the story of a Jewish father who tries to hide his son from the horrors of the Holocaust through humor and games.

In the routine, set to Israeli singer Noa's "Beautiful That Way" from the film's soundtrack, former Olympic ice skater Tatiana Navka and her dance partner Andrei Burkovsky dance in the striped pajamas and yellow six-pointed stars which Jewish victims of Nazi concentration camps were forced to wear.

At the end, Burkovsky is heard being shot as Navka stands alone, looking grieved.

Read more: http://www.cnn.com/2016/11/27/europe/russian-ice-skating-holocaust-trnd/index.html

I have nothing further to add except:

[font size="8"]Who’s (Not) Playing Donald Trump’s Inaugural?[/font]

Let’s spin the wheel one final time this week! And it lands on………………… Santa!

Actually this story is more Bad Santa than Elf. Let’s explain further:

A Santa Claus impersonator at a mall in Sanford, Florida was relieved of his duties after a woman said the Santa told her daughter that Hillary Clinton is on the naughty list this year, News 6 Orlando reported Friday.

The man then laughed after breaking the news to the child.

The mother at the Seminole Town Centre lodged a complaint with management on Tuesday night after the incident.

She said that her daughter was asked what she wanted for Christmas, being insured that she was on the nice list. The Santa then offered up some information on Clinton to the child, News 6 reported.

Spin it again! Music! So if you need any proof that there is no Santa (sorry kids) then look no further than Donald Trump’s inaugural address. If you need any further proof how stupid republicans are when it comes to music, I outlined this back in Idiots #37. So who could it be? It could be Elton John!

Elton John will perform at Donald Trump’s inauguration, claimed a key adviser, who championed the billionaire as the first president ever to enter the White House with a “pro-gay rights” stance.

“Elton John is going to be doing our concert on the mall for inauguration,” Anthony Scaramucci, a member of the presidential transition team executive committee as well as a vice chair of the presidential inaugural committee, told BBC’s “HARDtalk.”

Having the “Rocket Man” singer perform, he continued, “shows our commitment to gay rights.”

Except it isn’t:

In what could be the least shocking music story of the week, a representative for Elton John is firmly denying that the British pop legend will be performing at Donald Trump’s inauguration on January 20, 2017. This revelation, so obvious that it barely needs to have been made at all, comes in response to a recent comment made by Anthony Scaramucci, a member of the Trump transition team and vice chair of the inaugural committee, to BBC World News. “This will be the first American president in US history,” Scaramucci explained on BBC HARDtalk, “that enters the White House with a pro-gay rights stance. Elton John is going to be doing our concert on the [National] Mall for the inauguration.”

Strike one!

OK maybe keeping in Britain, how about the Rolling Stones? Seems like a logical fit – Donald Trump used their hit “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” as his campaign song.

The Rolling Stones will have first dibs on playing Donald Trump’s Presidential Inauguration in January, according to a source speaking to DMN. The source is dialed into the touring schedule of the band, specifically through massive concert touring agency AEG. That includes various offers and tour proposals.

The Inauguration offer itself is hard to believe, given a history of animosity between Donald Trump and the Rolling Stones. But the offer could be construed as an olive branch from Trump, and an opportunity for the Stones to unify warring factions.

An Inauguration performance may also include a juicy paycheck. During the campaign, Justin Bieber was reportedly offered $5 million to play a Republican event. The offer was declined, following rumored opposition from manager Scooter Braun.

Better. Closer. Warmer. Except they won’t be doing that.

For the Rolling Stones, the Tuesday night opening of their Exhibitionism showcase in New York was not a time for politics.

But Donald Trump has loomed large over the band in recent months, thanks to the president-elect’s song of choice at his rallies: the Stones classic You Can’t Always Get What You Want.

In keeping with the song’s title, Mick Jagger wasn’t able to dodge every question about Trump on the red carpet for their art opening, an event that reunited the singer with bandmates Keith Richards, Charlie Watts and Ronnie Wood.

Strike two!

OK so let’s further explore the musical spectrum here – what about someone who needs something to do, like former Motley Crue singer Vince Neil?

The longtime Mötley Crüe frontman Vince Neil is set to perform at Donald Trump’s presidential inauguration in Washington DC on 20 January.

Neil told Billboard he will perform with his own band, having been asked about his availability “months ago”.

“The promoters asked if I was available, and I said yes,” Neil said. “So we sent all of the band’s passports to the Secret Service so everybody can get in, and all of the crew people, not knowing who was winning. But we were already scheduled to play.”

Except he won’t be doing that:

Washington (CNN)Rocker Vince Neil was singing a different tune Friday night after he said in an interview that he would be playing at President-elect Donald Trump's inauguration -- only to walk back the comments hours later when he was told the invitation was rescinded.
Earlier in the day, Billboard published an interview with the Mötley Crüe frontman saying he was contacted about playing in Washington "months ago" and the gig was set before Trump's upset victory.

Striiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike three!!!!!

But it seems nobody wants to play Trump’s inaugural. Might want to get out the sad Hulk music:

When Barack Obama was elected president, Beyoncé and Aretha Franklin performed at his inauguration. When he campaigned for re-election, beloved indie band The National played and ended up holding clipboards and registering voters for him in a key swing state.

President-elect Donald Trump, however, has a distinct lack of supporters in the world of music (Azealia Banks is about the only person I can think of), and it seems he’s struggling to land an act for his 20 January inauguration.

Earlier in the week, a member of his Transition Team went on record to say Sir Elton John would play it, in a pro-LGBTQ move, only for John to vehemently deny this. “I’m not a Republican in a million years,” he previously said when Trump used ‘Tiny Dancer’ for his campaign, “why not ask Ted fucking Nugent?

Well on the plus side, I hear Kanye West is available!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8"]Florence & The Machine[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, playing their song “No Light No Light” from their album “How Big, How Bold, How Beautiful”, please welcome Florence & The Machine!

Yeah how about that?

See you next week!

Florida Mall Santa Fired After Telling Kids Hillary Clinton Is On Naughty List

A Santa Claus impersonator at a mall in Sanford, Florida was relieved of his duties after a woman said the Santa told her daughter that Hillary Clinton is on the naughty list this year, News 6 Orlando reported Friday.

The man then laughed after breaking the news to the child.

The mother at the Seminole Town Centre lodged a complaint with management on Tuesday night after the incident.

She said that her daughter was asked what she wanted for Christmas, being insured that she was on the nice list. The Santa then offered up some information on Clinton to the child, News 6 reported.

Dumb Criminals: Florida (Obviously) Man Arrested for Demanding Car, Claiming He's Jesus

A man calling himself “Satan” walked into a Jacksonville Toyota dealership and demanded a hell of a deal — unless he got a car, he was going to shoot everyone.

It all happened at Keith Pierson Toyota on Youngerman Circle in Jacksonville on Thursday. According to ActionNewsJax.com, the man told an employee that he was “Satan, sent by Jesus.”

Claudy Pierson, co-owner of the car dealership told the website, “They walked him over here to one of our desks and he sits over there with one of our sales associates and one of the managers. He told the manager that he has a gun.”

The man allegedly threatened to shoot employees if they didn’t get him a car, the website reported. He also said he wanted to make sure all the gay people were gone from Earth.

According to the report, fearful employees hid in a locked room while waiting for Jacksonville Police to arrive. And they waited, and waited and waited.

Daughter Of Sandy Hook Victim Tells Trump To Denounce Alex Jones

Erica Lafferty lost her mother on Dec. 14, 2012.

The late Dawn Lafferty Hochsprung, then principal of Sandy Hook Elementary, was killed when 2o-year-old Adam Lanza stormed into the building and fatally shot 20 children and six staff members, before shooting himself in the head.

That was days after the final Thanksgiving she and her daughter would share.

As Lafferty wrote in USA Today on Friday, “This Thanksgiving, I sat at a dinner table with an empty seat. It’s the very seat where my mother, Dawn Lafferty Hochsprung, should be. Smiling, laughing and enjoying a holiday meal with her daughters and grandchildren. . . . My heart — and my dinner table — reflect the hole in my life that will never be repaired.”

Painful as the experience has been, it led Lafferty to her current calling as an advocate for gun safety.

It must feel like salt in an open wound, then, when someone denies that the Sandy Hook massacre ever happened in the first place. But that’s exactly what conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, a Donald Trump booster, has claimed repeatedly. See for yourself.

And here's the Op Ed:

This Thanksgiving, I sat at a dinner table with an empty seat. It’s the very seat where my mother, Dawn Lafferty Hochsprung, should be. Smiling, laughing and enjoying a holiday meal with her daughters and grandchildren. Instead, my mom wasn’t there because nearly four years ago, she was murdered in Newtown, Conn., along with five of her colleagues and 20 first-graders. That day, as the principal of Sandy Hook Elementary School, she died a hero trying to protect her innocent students.

My heart — and my dinner table — reflect the hole in my life that will never be repaired. And while I’ve chosen a path of gun safety advocacy that not everyone agrees with, some opponents of gun violence prevention follow a different, darker path. A fringe movement of “Sandy Hook truthers” promotes hateful conspiracy theories that the shooting never took place. My Thanksgiving table tells a different story. And so does the reality of the families who had their loved ones ripped out of their arms by senseless gun violence.

Fuck you Alex Jones.

One Million Moms Going Ballistic Over New Zales Ad

Protesters in Standing Rock are being brutalized, white supremacists are rallying in Washington, D.C., and we’re hurtling toward a climate disaster. But don’t worry, anti-gay group One Million Moms is tackling the real problems facing our nation. Namely, a jewelry commercial showing a nice lesbian couple getting married.

The moral panic-enthusiasts released a statement this week decrying Zales for the new ad that, in a montage of couples and families, includes two women in wedding dresses happily exchanging vows.

“Zales is using public airwaves to subject families to the decay of morals and values, and belittle the sanctity of marriage in an attempt to redefine marriage,” wrote One Million Moms, apparently unaware that the actual definition of marriage already includes same-sex unions.

Their statement instructs fellow bigots to travel to Zales stores and tell managers (who surely have absolutely nothing to do with the company’s advertorial decisions) that they won’t shop there due to the commercial.

God, could these dipshits be any more predictable?

LMAO! The Trump Hat Ornament page is getting trolled on Amazon!

Yes this exists:

But the page on Amazon is getting trolled hard and it's hilarious:


Is it really made in China
Of course, like most things bearing the Trump name, in order to spend less money and increase profit, this was mass produced in China

what size is this? Dimensions
Tinier than whiny little baby hands!

Will this ornament keep all of it's pre-holiday promises?
It's already backing off jailing my Elf on a Shelf.

Where is this manufactured?
Dum Gai, China.

And a couple of reviews:

"I wanted to like this but when I put it above the manger Baby Jesus started to weep uncontrollably, when I put it on an outside tree suddenly my cross in the yard was on fire. Finally I threw it in the a rotting, sticking, festering pile of trash only to find the next morning that nearly composted cesspool bandied together and made it president. Now I'm not even sure what to do with it but the all my neighbors property values plummeted worse than 2007."

"This ornament was gifted to me and I have no idea by whom? All I know is the person left tiny little hand prints on my glass door. This thing has no place in my home or life yet when I try to return it, there is strangely no option listed for return to sender. Lots of possibilities listed in the FAQ's but no straight path to undo this "gift". It's like I'm stuck with this thing and the hundreds of annoying packing peanuts protecting it (funny how packing peanuts are all white). I have no choice but to regift this thing. Perhaps at the holiday gay bingo fundraiser with proceeds going to the Elizabeth Warren 2020 presidential campaign."

"If I could get a refund I would. It took my nativity scene and built a damn wall around it. The cost of the security detail for this is insane and all I wanted to do is for it to let baby Jesus out. But it won't. In the meantime it has chased all but the white ornaments away from my tree. This ornament has caused a significant amount of distress among our Christmas decor."

Politician Who Criticized Squirrels Gets Attacked By Squirrel

Maybe Howard Brookins Jr. will think twice before he criticizes squirrels again.

In October, the alderman for Chicago’s 21st ward went on a public tirade about “aggressive squirrels,” griping that the furry critters kept eating through the city-supplied garbage cans.

But Brookins had no idea just how “aggressive” squirrels could be. On Nov. 13, the alderman found himself in the hospital with a skull fracture after a squirrel leapt into the path of Brookins’ bike, wrapping itself in the spokes and causing him to flip over the handlebars, The Star Tribune reports.

“I can think of no other reason for this squirrel’s actions than that it was like a suicide bomber, getting revenge,” he told the Tribune.


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