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Initech's Journal
Initech's Journal
March 27, 2016

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #21: Trump V. Cruz: Yawn Of Justice Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #21: Trump V. Cruz: Yawn Of Justice Edition

Before we start this week:

RIP Gary Shandling.

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! This might be our biggest edition ever so bare with us! So we got to talk about the passing of everyone’s favorite crack smoking Toronto mayor Rob Ford, who sadly passed away last week. You know what I loved the most about this guy? He truly did not give a fuck what anybody thought of anything he did. I mean this is the guy who told the Canadian press that he might have smoked crack while he was blackout drunk. How fucked up are you when as you are blackout drunk, you think “hey, crack cocaine sounds like a good idea right now!”. But when talking about Rob Ford, we should not remember the man as he died but as he lived. Which is that he was insane and we loved him for being insane. And we also loved him because he did not give a fuck. RIP Rob Ford. While looking for appropriate clips on Youtube, I found this David Letterman Top 10 list where he has Rob Ford giving advice to Justin Beiber:

Enough ranting. We got a lot of idiocy to cover this week, and only 10 spots But first I got to play John Oliver’s epic take down of Donald Trump’s proposed “Great Wall":

So where do we begin this week? Easily taking the top spot is North Carolina governor Pat McCrory (1) who just signed one of the harshest anti-LGBT bills in the entire country. Taking the second spot, Kentucky senator Mitch McConnell (2) has his middle finger aimed squarely at President Obama. In the third spot, is easily taken by Donald Trump Supporters (3) and what could possibly go wrong with their demands this week? At number 4, the entire state of Arizona (4) is under fire for how they handled the state primary election and boy there’s a lot of stupidity there. Taking the 5th seed, is of course Der Trumpenfuror. We’ll discuss a Twitter beef with Ted Cruz and some celebrity endorsements Trumpenfuror has picked up. At number 6, the cleanup from the dildo poop trench freak show at Malhuer has begun, and the Bundy Bunch (6) are in some deep shit. At number 7, we’re going to dip into the Top 10 “Where Are They Now” file and talk about Blackwater/XE and their CEO Erik Prince (7), and it seems he’s in some deep shit with the DOJ and the FBI. In the 8th slot, is returning champion Alex Jones (8) – while shit has been going down in Brussels, guess what? Alex is resorting to his usual nonsense of calling every attack a false flag. Does he even know what a false flag is? At number 9, I’ve said before that I don’t think Caitlyn Jenner (9) has the best interests of the transgender community in mind. Finally this week we're going to celebrate the 10th anniversary of one of our favorite comedies here at the Top 10 home office. I'm of course talking about the Mike Judge flick Idiocracy (10). And what better way to honor the movie than by showing you some insane, hilarious, and completely real ways that life is imitating this movie? Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[font size="8"]Pat McCrory[/font]

Religious freedom. Which I’m sure anybody with half a brain knows that “religious freedom” does not have anything to do with “religion” or “freedom” at this point. And I’m being serious here. There’s not one, but two states this week that are about to find out what happens when religious freedom bills are being passed. First in Georgia, Disney and Marvel Studios both have a huge presence there, and they’re threatening to move operations to a more LGBT friendly state if this horrendous bill happens:

As reported by The Hollywood Reporter, a Disney spokesperson today made the following statement: “Disney and Marvel are inclusive companies, and although we have had great experiences filming in Georgia, we will plan to take our business elsewhere should any legislation allowing discriminatory practices be signed into state law.”

“We applaud Disney and Marvel for standing up for fairness and equality by sending a strong warning to Governor Deal,” said HRC President Chad Griffin. “It’s appalling that anti-LGBT activists in Georgia are trying to pass legislation creating an explicit right to discriminate against LGBT Americans. We urge other studios, major corporations, and fair-minded Georgians to continue speaking out and urging Gov. Deal to veto this heinous piece of legislation sitting on his desk.”

This past Saturday night at the Los Angeles HRC Gala, HRC President Chad Griffin addressed nearly 1,000 supporters and leaders in the entertainment industry and called on Hollywood to stop productions in Georgia if Gov. Nathan Deal doesn’t veto the new Indiana-style "license to discriminate" bill passed by the state legislature last week. According to the State of Georgia, which offers major tax incentives for entertainment companies to film in the state, at least 248 film and television productions were shot in Georgia during the state’s 2015 fiscal year. This resulted in at least $1.7 billion in direct spending as well as more than 100 new businesses relocating to or expanding in Georgia to support these activities.

More: http://www.hrc.org/blog/disney-marvel-studios-threaten-to-abandon-productions-in-georgia

What does Nick Fury think of this? Well let’s ask him:

But wait – this passing of the bill in North Carolina might have even further complications for colleges if the proposed bill gets fast tracked:


ACLU: North Carolina Could Lose $4.5 Billion in Title IX Funding over Bathroom Bill. Nice Work, General Assembly

If North Carolina moves ahead and passes the bill the special session is considering today, the state could lose billions in Title IX funding.

Title IX is a provision of the 1972 Education Amendments law that says: “no person in the United States shall, on the basis of sex, be excluded from participation in, be denied the benefits of, or be subjected to discrimination under any education program or activity receiving Federal financial assistance."

Title IX applies to any school that receives federal funding, which include about 16,500 local districts, 7,500 postsecondary institutions, "as well as charter schools, for-profit schools, libraries, and museums." In 2014, the Department of Education clarified that transgender students are, in fact, protected under Title IX.

That’s $4.5 BILLION that North Carolina schools could stand to lose if this bigoted bill passes this week. Which if you think about it, is the gross domestic product of the entire country of Barbados:

Well I do love this – there was a trans man named JP Sheffield actually tweeted this, and utterly destroyed the “logic” (or lack thereof) behind North Carolina’s insane bill:

North Carolina signed into law last Wednesday one of the most flagrant civil rights violations in recent history, a bill specifically designed to forbid cities from passing protections for the LGBT community.

The right-wing hysteria erupted after Charlotte passed an ordinance to protect trans citizens from being bullied and assaulted for using bathrooms that fit their gender. Governor Pat McCrory said the ordinance “defied common sense” in a tweet that belied his obvious disgust with the transgender community.

But while Georgia hasn’t stated where they will vote on this particular bill in the forthcoming weeks, North Carolina did this:

On Wednesday in a special session North Carolina lawmakers rammed through HB2, a bill that they were granted a mere five minutes to read before beginning debate. A bill that literally made its way through both chambers of the General Assembly, onto the governor's desk, and signed into law in a mere 12 hours.

Even before the City of Charlotte began debate on a bill to extend nondiscrimination protections to LGBT people, North Carolina's Governor Pat McCrory issued a strong threat. He told City Council members, "this action of allowing a person with male anatomy, for example, to use a female restroom or locker room will most likely cause immediate State legislative intervention which I would support as governor."

As soon as the Mayor of Charlotte signed the nondiscrimination ordinance, McCrory and top elected Republican lawmakers sprung into action. They threw the state into chaos, which affected even school aged children. One, a sixth-grader whose best friend is transgender, wrote an op-ed in a local paper urging Gov. McCrory to stop his hypocritical campaign. Wisely, she said, "many people have a similar opinion to McCrory’s, and this opinion is that it puts cisgender people at risk. They say that some people may pretend to be transgender just to 'stalk' people in the bathroom."...

“The basic expectation of privacy in the most personal of settings, a restroom or locker room, for each gender was violated by government overreach and intrusion by the mayor and city council of Charlotte," McCrory trumpeted in a statement after signing the bill Wednesday night.

There you have it, we officially live in the Matrix.

[font size="8"]Mitch McConnell[/font]

So this week there was another massive Isis planned terror attack in the city of Brussels, Belgium, which we will address later in this edition. There’s some truly terrible shit going down right now. But you know who would aid the terrorists as much as anybody? Putting an NRA sponsored shill on the Supreme Court and that’s Kentucky Senator and after guy from a hemorrhoid infomercial Mitch McConnell.
Supreme Court justices are nominated by the president and appointed with the advice and consent of the National Rifle Association, according to Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY).
McConnell offered this unusual view of the confirmation process during an interview with Fox News Sunday. In response to a question from host Chris Wallace, who asked if Senate Republicans would consider the nomination of Judge Merrick Garland to the Supreme Court after the election if Hillary Clinton prevails, McConnell responded that he “can’t imagine that a Republican majority in the United States Senate would want to confirm, in a lame duck session, a nominee opposed by the National Rifle Association [and] the National Federation of Independent Businesses.”
The Majority Leader’s statement is significant for several reasons. For one thing, it suggests that his previously stated position that “this vacancy should not be filled until we have a new President,” is a sham. Simply put, it’s unlikely that the NRA or the NFIB will change their position on a nominee just because Hillary Clinton is president and not Barack Obama.

Gee, Mitch, why don't you just cut out the middle man and give Obama the finger yourself?

You know let’s think about what Sen. McConnell is proposing here. He literally wants to put a gun absolutionist on SCOTUS. Because that’s what the NRA wants – a world where everybody has guns and nobody is in charge. And if you saw what happened in Brussels this week and Paris back in November, that seems to be where we’re headed. But there’s more:

Mitch McConnell refuses to give up. Despite President Obama moving forward and nominating Merrick Garland to replace Antonin Scalia on the Supreme Court, the Kentucky Senator is sticking to his guns, literally in this case, and insisting on blocking Garland as the nominee. In an interview with Fox News Sunday this morning, McConnell told host Chris Wallace that a new Supreme Court justice must have the approval of the National Rifle Association (NRA).

Wallace specifically asked McConnell if, should Hillary Clinton become president, he would consider the nomination of Merrick Garland. McConnell told Wallace:
‘I can’t imagine that a Republican majority in the United States Senate would want to confirm, in a lame duck session, a nominee opposed by the National Rifle Association and the National Federation of Independent Businesses (NFIB).’...

So let’s think about this here for a minute – McConnell wants a SCOTUS justice who’s approved by both the NFIB and the NRA. By the way the Miami Herald has taken the liberty of breaking down McConnell’s bullshit about why he will obstruct and block Obama’s every SCOTUS pick from now until next January:
A few words about the pious insincerity of Mitch McConnell.
As you are no doubt aware, McConnell, the Senate majority leader, announced on the very day that Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia died that he would refuse to hold hearings on any replacement nominated by President Obama. McConnell’s “reasoning,” if you want to grace it with that word, was that since the president has less than a year left in his term, the appointment should be made by whomever the American people choose as his successor.
Last week, after Obama fulfilled his constitutional duty by nominating respected federal judge Merrick Garland to the post, McConnell renewed his refusal. “The Biden rule,” he said, “reminds us that the decision the Senate announced weeks ago remains about a principle and not a person. It seems clear that President Obama made this nomination not with the intent of seeing the nominee confirmed, but in order to politicize it for purposes of the election.”
Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/opinion/op-ed/article67628897.html#storylink=cpy

Now to close out this edition, a band that I love is Coheed and Cambria. Their new album is called “The Color Before The Sun” and if you don’t have it, get it because it’s a damn good album! Well this article has a video of them but I can’t embed it because there’s no Youtube link:

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has led the Republican fight to avoid approving Merrick Garland—or any other candidate nominated by President Obama—to the Supreme Court. Over the last week, he’s been front and center explaining why he doesn’t think a justice should be seated until after a new president has been elected.

Now one rock band has set the senator’s objections to music.

Coheed and Cambria is a band from New York state’s Hudson River Valley. They’re not usually a political band—nearly every album they’ve released is part of a multipart science fiction epic. But for the second time, the group has teamed up with Funny or Die to wade into the Supreme Court debate.


[font size="8"]Donald Trump Supporters [/font]

Before we get into this week’s edition of Trumpenfuror supporters let’s take a look at a preacher who claims that white people were the “chosen ones”:

Well known is the old English adage that Jesus is an Englishman. But the quaint charm of an assertion like that is missing entirely when one of Donald Trump’s supporters says Jesus wasn’t a Jew.

It is a view altogether too reminiscent of Hitler’s conception of Jesus as an “Aryan fighter” who “who took up His position against Jewry.”

This new claim comes from Thomas Robb, whom the SPLC describes as “an Arkansas-based Christian Identity pastor and head of the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan, which he took over in the 1980s after the departure of David Duke.”

According to Robb, appearing on “The Alan Colmes Show” on Fox Radio Wednesday, Jesus was not a Jew. “He was an Israelite.” If that distinction seems bizarre, read on.

White supremacism. Just…………… what the fuck.

From the “Gee, what could possibly go wrong?” file comes this. Donald Trump supporters are a dangerous and scary bunch. Last week I talked about how Trump supporters were threatening murder, convention riots, desecrating cemeteries, they were looting and beating the shit out of people who they disagree with, and Trumpenfuror was absolutely fine with it! In fact, he is actually encouraging this sort of thing! But there’s something that I touched on last week that I want to expand on for this week. And that is this:
Donald J. Trump warned of “riots” around the Republican National Convention should he fall slightly short of the 1,237 delegates he needs to clinch the nomination and the party moves to select another candidate.
The remark from Mr. Trump, in an interview on CNN’s “New Day,” came less than 12 hours after he won the Republican primaries in Florida, Illinois and North Carolina and extended his delegate lead to roughly 200 over his closest competitor, Senator Ted Cruz.

That’s right – Trumpenfuror is actually threatening convention riots if he is not selected as the republican front runner. I mean even the Cleveland PD are actively training for such a scenario, but here’s where things could go horribly, horribly south.

For all the ink spilled on the upcoming GOP visit to Cleveland and the attendant worries about Cleveland's ability to deal with protestors in general and the sometimes violent nature of interactions between some Republican supporters and protestors around the country so far this year, sometimes it feels like the city isn't fully prepared for what is actually coming down the pike.

Which brings us to this petition on Change.org, from Americans for Responsible Open Carry, which demands that THE POWERS THAT BE force Quicken Loans Arena to temporarily set aside its ban on weapons inside the arena so that folks can enjoy the Trumpian majesty of the convention while bearing arms.

Holy shit! Trump’s brain dead supporters are actively trying to get Quicken Loans Arena to overturn their ban on open carry just for the RNC. And the text of the argument is flat out batshit insane:

According to the policy on their website, "firearms and other weapons of any kind are strictly forbidden on the premises of Quicken Loans Arena."

This is a direct affront to the Second Amendment and puts all attendees at risk. As the National Rifle Association has made clear, "gun-free zones" such as the Quicken Loans Arena are "the worst and most dangerous of all lies." The NRA, our leading defender of gun rights, has also correctly pointed out that "gun free zones... tell every insane killer in America... (the) safest place to inflict maximum mayhem with minimum risk." (March 4, 2016 and Dec. 21, 2012)

Cleveland, Ohio is consistently ranked as one of the top ten most dangerous cities in America. By forcing attendees to leave their firearms at home, the RNC and Quicken Loans Arena are putting tens of thousands of people at risk both inside and outside of the convention site.

This doesn't even begin to factor in the possibility of an ISIS terrorist attack on the arena during the convention. Without the right to protect themselves, those at the Quicken Loans Arena will be sitting ducks, utterly helpless against evil-doers, criminals or others who wish to threaten the American way of life.

You know what? I need some appropriate music for this entry. Can we get that please?

Remember that one guy last week who told liberal websites like Moveon.org to shut up or they’ll start shooting?
Right wing media have argued that anti-Trump protesters should expect "to get beat up" at his rallies, and others have labeled him the "victim", claiming the protesters infringe on Trump's First Amendment rights and are "totalitarian" and "fascist." Right wing media figures have blamed MoveOn.org for "orchestrat violence" and hijacking "what was to be a peaceful campaign rally," despite the fact that the group was there to protest previous incidents of violence at Trump rallies. Trump apologist and CNN contributor Jeffrey Lord described MoveOn.org as "the new Ku Klux Klan."

On March 16, conservative author Mathew Vadum took to Twitter, and threatened MoveOn.org saying, "Note to MoveOn anti-free speech thugs: Our side has guns, tens of millions of them. Behave yourselves. #tcot."


Something tells me I should be out of the country come convention time. What’s Ensenada, Mexico like that time of year?

[font size="8"]The State Of Arizona[/font]

So Trumpenfuror easily won Arizona this week. But not without controversy and this is in the hometown of everyone’s favorite illegal immigrant chasing Sheriff Joe Arpaio, who is an admitted fan of Der Trumpenfuror:

"Let's be clear -- voter suppression happened on March 22. We don't know at this point if it was by chance or by planning, but no matter what, there's nothing we can do to deny that voter suppression happened," he said. "Sitting and standing in line four to five hours to vote, even if you end up voting, is still voter suppression. And the fact that people are not questioning whether their vote is counted at all is also suppression."

Historically, the Department of Justice had to approve any changes in voting procedure in Arizona because of the state's history of discrimination against minorities in voting. But a Supreme Court decision in 2013 allowed Arizona to begin making changes without federal oversight. Leaders said if federal scrutiny had been required before making changes, Tuesday's situation would have never happened.

Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders, who lost Arizona to Democratic front-runner Hillary Clinton, called the situation "a disgrace."

"In the United States of America, democracy is the foundation of our way of life," the Democratic presidential hopeful said Wednesday. "And what happened in Arizona is a disgrace. I hope that every state in this country learns from that and learns how to put together a proper election where people can come in and vote in a timely manner and go back to work."

Yup – Bernie had it right here. This is absolutely a disgrace and an epic fail. It’s almost like it’s being rigged by the powers that be that Der Trumpenfuror take over as president.

[font size="8"]Donald Trump V. Ted Cruz: Yawn Of Justice[/font]

We’ve talked about Trump a lot the last few weeks, but you know what I’ve had enough this week. We may do a Trump free edition next week. It will be hard but it must be done. But I do have to talk about Trump V. Cruz. As Stephen Colbert pointed out in his most excellent Hunger Games parody, the field of presidential candidates is slowly narrowing and now it’s down to four:

But you know what? Forget The Hunger Games. This is playing out more like a terrible season of “The Bachelor”. The cycle of the broadest candidates is slowly narrowing. The roses have been handed out to the people who we want to stay – Bernie, Hillary, Teddy, and the Donald. We just have to meet the parents, go on a series of hometown dates and have the previous contestants tell all about the few that remain. But now the gloves have come off, and The Donald has been attacking Ted Cruz’s wife fast and furiously:

Republican presidential hopeful Ted Cruz is accusing rival Donald Trump of being behind a National Enquirer story claiming private investigators are looking into allegations that Cruz had at least five extramarital affairs.
"I want to be crystal clear: these attacks are garbage," Cruz wrote on his Facebook page. "For Donald J. Trump to enlist his friends at the National Enquirer and his political henchmen to do his bidding shows you that there is no low Donald won’t go. These smears are completely false, they’re offensive to Heidi and me, they’re offensive to our daughters, and they’re offensive to everyone Donald continues to personally attack. Donald Trump’s consistently disgraceful behavior is beneath the office we are seeking and we are not going to follow."
Trump, responding on his Facebook page, wrote that he had "absolutely nothing to do with it, did not know about it, and have not, as yet, read it.
"Likewise, I have nothing to do with the National Enquirer and unlike Lyin’ Ted Cruz I do not surround myself with political hacks and henchman and then pretend total innocence," he wrote. "Ted Cruz’s problem with the National Enquirer is his and his alone, and while they were right about O.J. Simpson, John Edwards, and many others, I certainly hope they are not right about Lyin’ Ted Cruz."

Seriously – if I had a dollar for every time Trumpenfuror has said “I” and “me” , I would probably have as much money as Trumpenfuror! But here’s where things have gone south in the ongoing feud between Trumpenfuror and Cruz, and even Chelsea Clinton herself dipped a toe in to explain her feelings about the attacking of Ted Cruz’s wife Heidi:
"Well, I wouldn't defend anything that Senator Cruz and Mr. Trump says, or believes in, or stands for," Democratic frontrunner Hillary Clinton’s daughter said at a Wisconsin campaign stop. "I think that the level of vitriol goes beyond anything that we certainly have seen in contemporary times in this election, and I think that anyone who is involved in politics … continues to stand up against that type of vitriol and hate speech.”
On Wednesday, Trump ignited a nasty battle with Cruz after he posted a meme making fun of Cruz’s wife Heidi’s appearance.

But now the gloves have come off. Who do you want to win? Donald Trump or Ted Cruz? Either way they’re both losers.
“Donald, you’re a sniveling coward, and leave Heidi the hell alone,” Cruz said, pointing his finger at news cameras just before addressing employees at Dane Manufacturing, a plant located in a village of about 1,000 people located about 20 miles north of Madison. Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker kicked off his re-election campaign in 2014 at the facility.

The two leading Republican candidates have been fighting on Twitter throughout the week over their wives. Late Wednesday night, Trump retweeted an image showing a side-by-side comparison of his wife, Melania, with Cruz’s wife, with a declaration that the images were “worth a thousand words.”

The feud began when an anti-Trump Super PAC used an apparently nude photo of Melania from an old photo shoot in one of its ads. Trump blamed Cruz for the ad, and threatened to “spill the beans” on Heidi. The two have continued to trade jabs, mostly over Twitter. For more on that, check this handy Washington Post timeline of the bickering.

Cruz on Thursday said Trump’s attacks are the work of a “small, petty man intimidated by strong women.”

“Donald does seem to have an issue with women,” Cruz told reporters. “Donald doesn’t like strong women. Strong women scare Donald.”..............................

Read more: http://host.madison.com/ct/news/local/govt-and-politics/election-matters/in-wisconsin-ted-cruz-warns-donald-trump-to-leave-heidi/article_dc4e0b35-5389-5096-8d3c-1c777908d104.html

Excuse me, I'm going to let Donald and Ted Cruz go slug it out for a few rounds while I go watch Batman V. Superman. Wake me up when it's over.

[font size="8"]The Bundy Bunch [/font]

Here’s the story of a man named Cliven who raised up three very angry sons. All of them hate the government. The youngest one said so on Facebook. Here’s the story of a man named Ammon who dug a poop trench and got dildos instead of snacks. And now they’re all behind bars as one big jail happy family. And that’s why they’re called the Bundy Bunch. The Bundy Bunch. I could do that bit all day.

Well so what are they in the news for this week? Well the FBI has begun clean up on their dildo poop trench freak show. And how much is it going to cost?

BURNS, Ore. — The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service will spend roughly $4 million to clean, repair and upgrade the Oregon wildlife refuge that was the site of a 41-day armed occupation by ranchers earlier this year.
Fish and Wildlife Director Dan Ashe said he wants the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Burns to become a symbol to the rest of the country that collaboration, not confrontation, endures, The Oregonian reported. Department of the Interior Secretary Sally Jewell made similar statements during her visit to the refuge earlier this week.

Gee thanks guys! Your inability to abide by the law and excessive greed is costing the rest of us nearly $4 million! And could cost as much as $65 million! But what else is in store for the Bundy Bunch? Well here’s just a bizarre sampling of what the FBI has found:
NEAR BURNS, Ore. — The public got its first look Wednesday of the damage found inside the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge since the 41-day armed occupation ended last month.
The media received a tour of the refuge.
Noticeably, the sign at the main entrance to the Visitor's Center was gone, probably saying the most about what went on during the occupation.
The landscape hasn't change, but there's a lot of work going on at the Visitor's Center. Refuge employees are working out of temporary modular buildings. There are a lot of big pipes, because the government said the occupiers clogged up the septic system and major repairs to plumbing would eventually get underway. There is currently no running water, no toilets, and no electricity at the Visitor's Center.

But wait there’s more – here’s a picture of what the FBI found and if you click on the link above, there is a picture of the famous poop trench:

[font size="8"]Erik Prince[/font]

For this entry, we’re going to take a dip into the Top 10 “Where Are They Now” file. You might remember Blackwater / XE Holdings CEO Erik Prince right? The military contractor and serial killer for hire who stirred up a lot of shit in Iraq and Afghanistan? Well this week he’s back in the news and for some very unflattering reasons:

ERIK PRINCE, founder of the now-defunct mercenary firm Blackwater and current chairman of Frontier Services Group, is under investigation by the U.S. Department of Justice and other federal agencies for attempting to broker military services to foreign governments and possible money laundering, according to multiple sources with knowledge of the case.

What began as an investigation into Prince’s attempts to sell defense services in Libya and other countries in Africa has widened to a probe of allegations that Prince received assistance from Chinese intelligence to set up an account for his Libya operations through the Bank of China. The Justice Department, which declined to comment for this article, is also seeking to uncover the precise nature of Prince’s relationship with Chinese intelligence.

Ouch. That’s some pretty deep shit there. Not just attempting to force a private mercenary army for hire on unsuspecting countries but money laundering on top of that! I mean is this guy the Walter White of serial killers for hire? This legitimate holding company is just as legitimate of a business as this car wash is!

But there’s more!
For more than a year, U.S. intelligence has been monitoring Prince’s communications and movements, according to a former senior U.S. intelligence officer and a second former intelligence official briefed on the investigation. Multiple sources, including two people with business ties to Prince, told The Intercept that current government and intelligence personnel informed them of this surveillance. Those with business ties were cautioned to sever their dealings with Prince.
Among the concerns of government investigators is that Prince’s attempts to provide defense-related services to Libya and other countries violate U.S. defense export regulations. Under federal law, U.S. citizens seeking to offer military services or technologies to Libya must have a license certifying that the services or articles are approved under the International Traffic in Arms Regulations, or ITAR. “Many of these services and articles are designed to kill people or defend against killing people,” said John Barker, a former deputy assistant secretary of state for export controls. “To protect U.S. national security and foreign policy as well as that of its allies, the U.S. requires prior authorization.”

Holy shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not only is he being monitored very closely by the NRA (as President Frank Underwood called them “the biggest gun in his arsenal”), but he’s attempting to start World War III! I mean could this guy be any more of a maniacal armchair dictator if he tried?

[font size="8"]Alex Jones[/font]

Before I delve into how batshit fucking crazy Alex Jones is this week, anyone remember that movie Chappie? It wasn’t Neil Blomkamp’s best film by any means but the whole plot revolved around a police robot being kidnapped and reprogrammed to have human feelings. Well in a case of life imitating art this week, a group of hackers and trolls kidnapped a Microsoft chat room bot only to reprogram it with insane feelings of genocide, racism, and extreme misogynism. Can I have “Things that sound like what an Infowars fan would say” for $200, Alex?

Microsoft launched a smart chat bot Wednesday called “Tay.” It looks like a photograph of a teenage girl rendered on a broken computer monitor, and it can communicate with people via Twitter, Kik and GroupMe. It’s supposed to talk like a millennial teenage girl.

Less than 24 hours after the program was launched, Tay reportedly began to spew racist, genocidal and misogynistic messages to users

"To be clear, Tay learned these phrases from humans on the Internet. As Microsoft puts it on Tay’s website, “The more you chat with Tay the smarter she gets, so the experience can be more personalized for you.” Trolls taught Tay these words and phrases, and then Tay repeated that stuff to other people."

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/microsoft-tay-racist-tweets_us_56f3e678e4b04c4c37615502

While I won’t blame Infowars fans directly, we can also blame them indirectly, for their batshit crazy leader Alex Jones was at it again this time claiming that the horrendous ISIS attack on Brussels this week was yet another false flag operation designed to take away your right to bear arms and say horribly racist things about Muslim people:
JONES: So we got 34 dead, ISIS is taking responsibility. Donald Trump has shown his geopolitical foxiness in that he told AIPAC yesterday, just hours before this happened, that NATO has been basically backing ISIS, and is no friend of Israel.
And that's just true. How astute. Hollande, Merkel, France more than anybody, has been backing Al Qaeda and now Islamic State, it's the elephant in the room. All over the Middle East, all over North Africa, especially Libya and Syria, and that's what's so frustrating about watching the communist Hollande, the communist Merkel, go, "We will stand strong against this terror. We will keep the emergency going and take all your rights and arrest anybody who's right wing and criticizes Islam."
They bring 'em in, unvetted, they let 'em attack, and then they take your rights. This is the ultimate false flag.
Brussels attacks are a false flag. I want to go with that, then all the enemies and detractors will come in and attack us, national news will say that I said it didn't happen, and then everyone will find the truth and millions will watch it.

Let me see if I can follow Infowars “logic” or complete lack thereof for a minute. So if I have this right, he’s saying that the government is actively recruiting ISIS agents to commit terrorism in Western Europe. So over here, while that is going on, the government recruits pro-Islamic militants in the US government to enact laws to take away your right to free speech that you can’t say anything bad about the Muslim religion.

But what rights are being taken away? It certainly isn’t your right to free speech – that’s still protected. It certainly isn’t your right to bear arms. What else is there? Your right to vote is being taken away. There is that!

[font size="8"]Caitlyn Jenner[/font]

So we’ve talked about LGBT issues this week a lot, especially with the passing of that disgusting bill in North Carolina. Well if there’s one thing the republicans are good at, it’s getting people to vote against their best interests. And no one is more confused about that than Caitlyn Jenner. OK Cait, we love you as a celebrity and that you’re making it easier for other trans people to live their life the way they want, and it’s great that you are finally getting to live the life you want to live. But you’ve got to wake up and realize that the people who you want to be in power, as a trans woman, are people who do not represent your best interests at all. And I’m talking about this:
In his bid for the presidency, Ted Cruz (R) has consistently surrounded himself with some of the most extreme social conservatives in the country. In addition to appearing beside these individuals at various events, he also recruited a Religious Liberty Advisory Council — what Fox News’ Todd Starnes calls a “faith-based Justice League.”
Through Starnes, Cruz unveiled this week just what kind of ideas this council has developed to protect “religious liberty.” Given the fact that his council consisted of representatives from only the most conservative iterations of Christianity, the 15-point list is unsurprisingly dedicated to privileging Christian beliefs and enabling discrimination against the LGBT community and women.
For example, one of the recommendations is to “rescind Executive Order 13672 – an order that requires certain federal contractors to not discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity.” This order, which Obama first issued back in 2014, requires companies that contract with the federal government to have a policy against discriminating against LGBT people. By vowing to rescind it, Cruz is blatantly endorsing such discrimination and promising to subsidize it with taxpayer funding.

So Ted Cruz wouldn’t just expand on the disgusting law that happened in North Carolina, no he would make it a national law. Which not only scares the shit out of me, but it should scare the shit out of you too. But what does Caitlyn Jenner have to do with this? Well………… she wants to be Teddy’s “Trans Ambassador”. Whatever that is. I think I touched on this subject a couple of weeks ago. Well, Cait should not be surprised that Ted hasn’t called her back:

Caitlyn Jenner continues to be hopeful of becoming trans ambassador for Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz even though she hasn’t heard a single word from him yet.

‘Have they contacted me? No. Which, ya, I was kinda surprised,’ said Jenner at a new interview with E! News where she sat alongside her crew, Ella Giselle, Candis Cayne, Chandi Moore and Zackary Drucker, from her show, I Am Cait.

When asked about her supposed endorsement of Cruz, who has a strong record of being anti-gay and pro-Christianity, this is what Jenner has to say:...

Previously, trans actress Candis Cayne, who has become one of Jenner’s closest friends in the trans community, shared that she is frustrated about Jenner’s ignorance on trans issues as well as the negative impact that right-wing conservatives have done to the LGBT community.

But this is why Caitlyn should be deathly afraid of and not support people who don’t represent her best interests because this is exactly what will happen with North Carolina’s law:

In today's Things That Make Me Sick news: The American College of Pediatricians – a national anti-LGBT, anti-choice, anti-sex organization – released a statement yesterday, saying that it is harmful to accept transgender children's identities.

From ThinkProgress:
“The American College of Pediatricians urges educators and legislators to reject all policies that condition children to accept as normal a life of chemical and surgical impersonation of the opposite sex,” the statement reads. “Facts – not ideology – determine reality.” The “facts” that follow actually reflect a social conservative ideology that rejects the very reality of what transgender children experience.

For example, the statement not-so-subtly concludes that all transgender people must be mentally ill. “A person’s belief that he or she is something they are not is, at best, a sign of confused thinking,” the statement reads. “When an otherwise healthy biological boy believes he is a girl, or an otherwise healthy biological girl believes she is a boy, an objective psychological problem exists that lies in the mind not the body, and it should be treated as such.”

Let's be clear: "The ACP is not a legitimate medical organization; its name is designed to be mistaken for the American Academy of Pediatrics, which is a national organization with some 60,000 members. The ACP, by contrast, is estimated to have no more than 200 members, and it has been designated a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center for its anti-LGBT positions," ThinkProgress reports. (Emphasis mine.)

God these people are fucking scumbags.

[font size="8"]Idiocracy Is Becoming A Reality[/font]

Finally this week, we’re going to talk about the movie Idiocracy which is celebrating its’ 10th year as a cult classic comedy. Everyone loves that movie, am I right? Can you believe it’s been 10 years now? That’s a lot of Brawndo The Thirst Mutilator to be consuming. Because it’s got what plants crave, don’t ya know! A couple of weeks ago, Entertainment Weekly interviewed head screenwriter Etan Cohen, who made a shocking revelation about the movie, and it has more to do than just the madness that is the Trump campaign:
Don’t expect to buy Brawndo energy drinks any time soon, but one of the writers behind Idiocracy believes his film has come to reflect society more than he ever expected.
Screenwriter Etan Cohen, who wrote the 2006 film along with its director Mike Judge, said on his Twitter that he “never expected Idiocracy to become a documentary.” Lamenting the current state of the world in response to a reply to his tweet, Cohen joked, “I thought the worst thing that would come true was everyone wearing Crocs.”
His comments of course come during the 2016 presidential election, but Cohen does not go into detail about whether he’s referring to the current slate of presidential hopefuls or other issues he sees plaguing society.

Yup but there’s far more parallels than just President Cammacho and Adolf Hitler, Jr.! At least in the movie, Terry Crews / Pres. Cammacho had integrity. Trumpenfuror doesn’t even know what that means. But… he has the best words am I right?

Oh yes my friends. In fact I’m going to show you more than a few examples that will pertain to Idiocracy becoming a reality just like Mr. Cohen had said. But let’s start with revising the food pyramid, shall we? Old news, but still relevant to the topic at hand:
The final version of a spending bill released late Monday would unravel school lunch standards the Agriculture Department proposed earlier this year, which included limiting the use of potatoes on the lunch line and delaying limits on sodium and delaying a requirement to boost whole grains.
The bill also would allow tomato paste on pizzas to be counted as a vegetable, as it is now. USDA had wanted to prevent that.

Next up – we go to merry old England, where the British government announced via a Facebook poll, what to name it’s new insanely expensive research vessel:

The official name of a new multi-million pound research vessel could be the RRS Boaty McBoatface after the internet was asked for its ideas.

When the Natural Environment Research Council (NERC) opened up suggestions to name their new ship, little could they have predicted what the frontrunner would be.

Steaming ahead of its rivals, RRS Boaty McBoatface is outstripping the likes of Endeavour, Henry Worsley, David Attenborough, Falcon and many more offerings.

Yup – that’s right! An £200 million research vessel could be called “Boaty McBoatface”. See the British government just learned a valuable lesson – when the government asks people to name something, they tend to fuck with it. As for the Idiocracy parallel I give you exhibit A:

Next up – why yes, someone did ask Sarah Palin to become a Judge Judy type on reality television, where Sarah Palin should belong. But judging people, you say?

Sarah Palin to get her own Judge Judy-style courtroom TV show
Palin has reportedly made a deal with Montana-based production company Warm Springs to star in her own reality court show.
... the production team “includes the TV executive who found Judge Judy and Judge Joe Brown.”

Palin does not actually have a law degree, of course.
In this genre, though, almost all of the hosts such as Joseph Wapner, Judy Sheindlin, or Joe Brown have indeed been retired judges.


Well when Sarah Palin gives a speech like this:

I can only imagine what that will lead to in court!

Next up – we head to North Carolina where a guy got arrested for not returning the VHS copy of the movie “Freddie Got Fingered”. That should be a crime in and of itself for just having seen that movie!


A North Carolina man says he was arrested for not returning a video cassette tape he rented 14 years ago.

James Meyers Jr., a single dad from Concord, said he was driving his 10-year-old daughter to school at around 7:30 a.m. Tuesday when police pulled him over for a broken brake light. Meyers gave the police officers his driver’s license and was shocked when they said there was a warrant out for his arrest for not returning a VHS rental, "Freddy Got Fingered," from 2002, he said.

"They were chitchatting with me and talking about how ridiculous this is," Meyers told ABC News today. "Then they arrested me.

And then there’s this guy who has an unbelievably bizarre name change, just like Joe had his name accidentally changed to “Not Sure”:
OLYMPIA, Wash. -- A man whose legal name has made headlines in recent years is accused of assaulting a college officer and a deputy, according to CBS affiliate KIRO.
Beezow Doo-doo Zopittybop-bop-bop was arrested on Sunday. Citing court documents, The Olympian reported that the Wisconsin man was seen tearing down fliers at the Evergreen State College and a confrontation ensued with a campus officer.
During the struggle, he allegedly grabbed the officer's gun, but then bit the officer's ring finger several times. He also attempted to stab the officer with a pen, according to the newspaper.

Ah, if only we could buy cans of Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator. It’s got what plants crave! But who is the real villain in Idiocracy? It’s not exactly below average intelligence or mass hysteria and stupidity as one would believe. No this article explains that the real “enemy” in Idiocracy isn’t just all of the above, it’s really media consolidation:
The Real Villain in ‘Idiocracy’
In the opening sequence of the film, Mike Judge explains that the world has been ruined because smart people won’t fuck and dumb people fuck too much. Thanks to the fact that society had reached a point where nature’s ability to thin out the weakness of the herd was rendered moot, stupid spread exponentially while smart people are eventually weeded out of society.
As a result, several people have concluded that Idiocracy is actually a tacit endorsement of eugenics. While that interpretation of the film is up for debate, the point being made is that, “Idiocracy lays the blame [for society’s ills] at the feet of an undeserved target (the poor) while implicitly advocating a terrible solution (eugenics).”
If that interpretation is to be believed, then even Judge is underplaying the inestimable influence that the media has on the world he’s created. It’s not enough to accuse the people who love reality television for being dumb. At least in part, you have to look suspiciously at the people who control the flow of information.
It’s not that the people of Idiocracy are stupid, it’s that they’ve been programmed to be ignorant. Society’s decline isn’t the result of humanity’s foibles as much as it is the result of a system that glamorizes the baser aspects of human nature while sublimating the more complex virtues that make humanity worthwhile.


So does that explain why people are voting against their best interests like Caitlyn Jenner? Because that is how we get president Trump, er, Camacho.

See you next week!
March 21, 2016

John Oliver: Free Waffle Irons For Every American Citizen Makes As Much Sense As Trump's Great Wall

How can John Oliver possibly follow up his instant-classic "Donald Drumpf" segment? With a plan to Make Waffle Irons Great Again.

On Sunday's Last Week Tonight, Oliver dedicated another full segment to Donald Trump's presidential campaign, this time going after one of Trump's most notorious policy proposals: the wall he plans to build along the U.S.-Mexico border. As you may have guessed, Oliver is not a fan of the plan.

So instead, he proposed an alternate way to waste all that money: waffles! “If the main thing it’s going to get us is a warm sense of satisfaction inside, I suggest instead of building that wall, we use the money to buy every man, woman, and child in America a Palmer Waffle Iron," he said.

"These beauties retail at $75 apiece, so we’d still have nearly $1 billion left over. This waffle iron plan will cost less, will do nearly as much to keep out immigrants and drugs, and it won’t harm our relationship with our third-largest trading partner. If it is racist, it’s only toward Belgians, and unlike Donald Trump’s wall, this makes (expletive) waffles!”


March 20, 2016

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #20: Everybody Was Trump Fu Fighting Edition (Redux)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #20: Everybody Was Trump Fu Fighting Edition (Redux)

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! This is our 20th edition! Whoooooooooooooooo! Whooooooooooooooooo! Wooooooo. Wooo. So ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, LGBT, gender non conformers and cisgender people, I ask you this: do you like mac and cheese? Who doesn't? As a red blooded American male, I like my cheese stuffed with cheese, deep fried, covered with cheese, baked, and served with some beer cheese dipping sauce. Because... cheese. And fat. But when I buy a box of elbow macaroni and it comes with a bag of dry powder that's called "cheese sauce", I expect a certain amount of fake ingredients in it, damn it! But oh no, Kraft had to go au natural with its' mac and cheese, which is an absolute disgrace. But hey anything to take down the evil conglomerate that is Monsanto down a peg or two, I am 100% for it! So once again we have a lot of idiocy to get to this week! And I do mean a lot. But first Stephen Colbert’s awesome Hunger Games parody says goodbye to Marco Rubio in true Hunger Games fashion:

Everybody is Trump Fu Fighting this week. I mean you have Batman fighting Superman, you have Captain America fighting Iron Man, and you have Donald Trump supporters well fighting everybody, and in the case of Alex Jones, fighting against the giant pile of batshit in his studio. I mean if you can't trust your costumed heroes, who can you trust? So where do we begin this week? Well of course the top two spots are going to go to Donald Trump (1, 2). For the first spot we're going to talk about Donald Trump's epic collapse in Chicago where he was drowned out by Bernie Sanders supporters. In the second spot, we're going to expand on something that we touched briefly on last week and that's the violence erupting at Trump rallies, while Donald Trump is claiming to be his own foreign policy advisor. What else is he hiding? While on the subject, the third spot is going to go to Donald Trump supporters. While they’re not busy sucker punching folks in the audience, they’re desecrating cemeteries, destroying property, threatening murder, and pointing out flaws in other people's beliefs. In the number 4 slot, thanks to Republicans' (4) vast underfunding of Amtrak, another derailment has taken place. This is why we can't have nice things people! Taking the 5th seed, South by Southwest is a thing that is happening in Austin, and Alex Jones (5) is reporting live from the event and boy has he lost it. At number 6, Jerry Falwell Jr. (6) is giving a biblical reason as to why Donald Trump should be president, and well, he fails, hard. In the number 7 slot we're going to discuss the possible impending doom of AM Hate Radio with mega conglomerate iHeartRadio's (7) filing of a rather large bankruptcy. Next in the 8th slot – how is it possible for a woman to be misogynist on International Women’s Day? Well Greta Van Susteren will provide the answer to that question! In the 9th seed, since the original entry I had planned turned out to be a hoax, we're going to bring back *cue reverb* YOU BE THE JUDGE!!! Was Ted Cruz the lead singer of a popular Christian heavy metal band? Well you be the judge! Finally for the 10th spot, we have a crime heist of epic proportions and stupidity to tell you about. To do so we're going to hop in the Top 10 Conservative Idiots Mystery Machine (10) and tell you about how someone tried to rob the Fed for four countries and nearly a billion dollars, but was foiled by a typo. And no one in the media noticed because they were too busy being distracted by the Trump machine. Enjoy! And as always don't forget the key!

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

Before we begin this week, we need some appropriate music. Can we get that?

And just to set the mood, read this piece about how the great Keith Richards (yes that Keith Richards) nearly pulled a knife on Der Trumpenfuror way back when. So this happened:

Protesters interrupt virtually every Trump speech. But what made Chicago different were its scale and the organization behind the effort. Hundreds of young, largely black and brown people poured in from across the city, taking over whole sections of the arena and bracing for trouble.
And as the repeated chants of “Ber-nie” demonstrated, it was largely organized by supporters of Bernie Sanders, the Democratic presidential candidate who has struggled to win over black voters, but whose revolutionary streak has excited radicals of all colors.

Yes, just about the only positive thing that can come from going to a Donald Trump rally is that you'll get an entire stadium of people chanting “Bernie! Bernie! Bernie!” before you you get a stadium full of people ready to kill each other. As John Oliver said in his epic take down of Trump - “He's like that mole on your back. When you last checked it a year ago, it was fine, but when you looked at it again, it's become a real fucking problem!”. But what does the man himself think about the chaos erupting in his rallies? Why it's perfectly OK by his standards! In fact he's actually inciting it and encouraging it:

Violent rally attendees are taking their cues from Trump himself.
"There may be somebody with tomatoes in the audience," Trump warned people at a rally in Iowa last month. "If you see somebody getting ready to throw a tomato, knock the crap out of them, would you? Seriously. OK? Just knock the hell -- I promise you, I will pay for the legal fees."
On Feb. 22, he said of a protester, "I'd like to punch him in the face, I'll tell ya."

One thing you do have to give Der Trumpenfuror credit for – he has balls to say things that will get people arrested and assaulted, and whether or not gun violence breaks out at a Trump rally remains to be seen. But now going into Missouri this happened:

It seems Trump’s rage-fueled campaign has finally hit its boiling point. Not even a day after the mass protest that cancelled Trump’s Chicago rally, police used pepper spray on a crowd of protesters at this Saturday’s Trump rally in Kansas City.
“I’m just very thankful I didn’t get the brunt of it. I know some people had to have,” said journalist Josh Helmuth. “Again, not sure what happened, but we’re gonna try to get out of this area.”
“They didn’t care if you were on the sidewalk or on the street, they sprayed everyone down a long radius.”

Yes it goes from cancelled rallies to pepper spray! Ain't living in a police state grand? And I'm not talking about the kind of pepper spray that you get on your Grilled Stuft Burrito XXL at Taco Bell, either. I'm talking about the pepper that ranks on the Scoville chart as the hottest thing imaginable:

Yeah the only thing hotter than U.S. Grade pepper spray is a Pure Capsaician. Wow. You do not want that in your face for anything. Insert your own sex joke here. But getting back to the point – what does North Carolina think about the savage beatings that happened at the Trump rally in Fayetteville?

Last week, Trump visited Concord and Fayetteville in rallies that attracted thousands of attendees. During the rally in Fayetteville, a protester was assaulted as he was escorted from Crown Coliseum by police. A Linden man was later charged in the incident, and Cumberland County Sheriff's Office investigators said Monday that they are considering filing a charge of inciting a riot against Trump.
North Carolina law defines a riot as "a public disturbance involving an assemblage of three or more persons which by disorderly and violent conduct, or the imminent threat of disorderly and violent conduct, results in injury or damage to persons or property or creates a clear and present danger of injury or damage to persons or property." Inciting a riot is a misdemeanor unless the disturbance causes serious injury or more than $1,500 in property damage, when it becomes a felony.

Read more at http://www.wral.com/presidential-candidates-crisscross-nc-on-final-day-before-primary/15536839/#hpGcVLJ1fSXkir3r.99

So if elected would Donald Trump be the first president entering office facing federal felony charges? Unfortunately no because the Fayetteville Sheriffs are not charging Trump with inciting a riot – at least for the time being. That would make for some very interesting news coverage. And I love this part of that article – no matter what Trump denies about the violence occurring at his rallies, and what actually happened, this is what he's calling them:

Trump addressed the issue by denying suggestions that he incites or even condones violence at his rallies, calling the events "love fests."

Yes you read that correctly. Although “Love Fest” sounds like the absolute worst music festival in the country – like something put on by the local smooth jazz station with Kenny G as the headliner. But then in Kansas City this happened:

A Muslim college student in Kansas says he and his friend were attacked Saturday by a man who called them "brown trash" and chanted in support of GOP presidential front-runner Donald Trump.

Khondoker Usama, 23, is student body vice president at Wichita State University and originally from Bangladesh. He said he and his friend, who is Hispanic, were getting gas early Saturday when they noticed a man in his 20s or 30s yelling racial epithets at a black man and accusing him of being a "lazy ass."

The guy then turned his attention to the students, shouting about how Trump will win the election, according to Usama.

"You want to live in this country, you better leave," the man reportedly told Usama and his friend, according to The Wichita Eagle.

Read more: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-violence_us_56e6ca5fe4b065e2e3d66f79

But there is good news! You know who Donald Trump would appoint as his foreign policy advisor? Why it’s not the Joint Chiefs Of Staff. No good sir/madam, if you guessed that he would appoint himself as his own foreign policy advisor, you are correct! Points!


On March 8, Morning Joe's Mika Brzezinski asked Donald Trump whether he had a foreign policy team. Trump gave a rambling response, saying, "Yes, there is a team. There's not a team. I'm going to be forming a team. I have met with far more than three people." On Wednesday morning, Brzezinski gave Trump another shot at the question. She asked him again about his foreign policy team and strategy, and specifically, who he consults with consistently.

Trump replied: "I'm speaking with myself, number one, because I have a very good brain and I've said a lot of things. I know what I'm doing, and I listen to a lot of people, I talk to a lot of people, and at the appropriate time I'll tell you who the people are. But my primary consultant is myself and I have, you know, a good instinct for this stuff."


Yes you read that correctly – Donald Trump is his own foreign policy advisor! Is he also his own grandpa too?

[font size="8"]Donald Trump[/font]

Der Trumpenfuror doesn't need to spend money on advertising. He gets nearly $2 billion of it for free because he's mentioned on TV nearly 24 hours a day on every channel on TV. So Trump's fearmongering and warmongering didn't just stop at Kansas City and Fayeteville. Nope, it's continuing to get worse. Der Trumpenfuror's plan for a Great Wall on the Mexican border will happen on his watch, and if it doesn't he will authorize military action against Mexico to make them pay or else:

Ever since Donald Trump began claiming that he would build a wall along the entire Mexican border and that Mexico would pay for it, intelligent people have been asking how he intends to make them do that. Now we have our answer: He’ll use the “rebuilt” military he creates to intimidate them into paying for it.

- See more at: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/dispatches/2016/03/11/trump-ill-use-military-to-intimidate-mexico-into-paying-for-wall/#sthash.DMcLO5iV.dpuf

And if you remember last week, I pointed out that China and Russia would not hesitate to retaliate against the US if war is declared on Mexico. Which would mean that Donald Trump would be the catalyst that ignites World War III if all this comes true. But what does Donald Trump really think of teh blacks? Let’s ask BET:

It was Trump again in 1991 who trafficked in ugly racial and religious stereotypes when he whined that he didn't like Black guys counting his money. "The only kind of people I want counting my money are short guys that wear yarmulkes every day." As Trump said then, "laziness is a trait in blacks."


And here's where David Duke, Trumpenfuror's BFF, thinks that a Trump presidency will make Hitler great again! And yes I am not making this up:

Former Grand Wizard of the KKK David Duke told his radio show on Wednesday that Donald Trump’s campaign could do wonders “rehabilitating” Adolf Hitler’s image.

David Duke, a onetime supreme leader of the Klu Klux Klan, suggested on his radio program yesterday that Donald Trump, whom he has encouraged his listeners and followers to vote for, may be helping to rehabilitate the image of Adolf Hitler.

In his Southern drawl, the onetime Louisiana legislator said that media comparisons drawn between the mustached German dictator and the straw-haired aspirational authoritarian were simply going to end up making Hitler look like a nicer fellow.

“The truth is, by the way, they might be rehabilitating that fellow with the mustache back there in Germany, because I saw a commercial against Donald Trump, a really vicious commercial, comparing what Donald Trump said about preserving America and making America great again to Hitler in Germany."

Read more: http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/03/17/david-duke-trump-makes-hitler-great-again.html

So what does Hitler himself think of this? Well let's ask him!

And what does Trumpenfuror think of this? Why it's just fine and dandy!

As violence repeatedly breaks out at GOP front-runner Donald Trump's campaign rallies across the country, the candidate said Sunday that he's not responsible for his supporters' actions.
"I don't condone violence," he said in an interview on CBS' "Face the Nation."
Though Trump insisted he's done nothing to incite the violence himself, he said he had no problem with supporters who decided to "be effective" with protesters in the audience.
"The one guy was a bad dude, he was swinging, he was hitting people, he was a very bad guy, and the police came in and they really were very effective," he said. "And frankly some of the audience members had no choice but to be effective and I didn't mind that at all. Or they would have been hurt, frankly."

So the key to someone swinging in the air at random is to swing back? Hmmmmmmmmmmmm... where have I seen that before?

Yes, Donald Trump is essentially Bart Simpson in this clip and saying that if you get hit at one of his rallies, it's your own fault, damn it! By the way, the website Mashable has compiled a long list of all the times that Donald Trump has actually incited violence at his rallies, to the tune of something like this:

[font size="8"]Donald Trump Supporters[/font]

I love this – this was an anti Trump rally held in Chicago depicting him as a pile of poop (which he is) :

So in last week's edition I talked about the violence in North Carolina but now that we know more about who did it, I would like to expand on that a bit. That’s John McGraw, the guy who sucker punched the protestor in Fayetteville:

The 78-year-old man who apparently punched a protester at a Donald Trump event in North Carolina on Wednesday talked to the cameras before he talked to a lawyer — admitting that he struck the protester, who deserved “every bit of it.”
John McGraw was arrested on Thursday and charged with disorderly conduct and assault. Moments after the rally, McGraw spoke to Inside Edition and admitted that he had punched the protester.
When asked what he liked best about the event, McGraw said: “Knocking the hell out of that big mouth.”
“Yes, he deserved it,” McGraw said. “The next time we see him, we might have to kill him.”
McGraw said that the protester, who is black, may have been with a terrorist organization.
“Number one, we don’t know if he’s ISIS,” Inside Edition reported. “We don’t know who he is, but we know he’s not acting like an American, cussing me. … If he wants it laid out, I laid it out.”

Donald Trump protestors are agents of ISIS? OMG really? Well what else is this guy who punched a black guy at a Donald Trump rally saying? I will repeat that phrase until I’m blue in the face, it’s not like a Steve-O bit where he ran into Mike Tyson’s fist (and yes that happened, BTW) :

Yes Donald Trump actually considered paying this guy’s legal fees. But here’s where Trump supporters may have taken things a bit too far – here's where they harassed and threatened to kill a poll operator:

An organizer’s phone number was leaked after peacefully protesting at the Donald Trump rally in Chicago, and the results are shockingly frightening.

This audio recording contains only a fraction of the bigoted, hateful, racist and vitriolic phone calls, texts, and other hateful messages he received. It really provides an insightful glimpse into the mind of the supporters that Trump is cultivating. Make sure you listen to it in ints entirety.

The rampant hate and bigotry shows why Donald Trump should not be our president and why Chicago was right to come out in such large numbers to voice their disapproval.

But hey, if you read the previous entry – you know that the Donald is perfectly OK with this! Well, is he perfectly OK with his supporters desecrating a cemetery? Remember last week when Ted Cruz said that Bernie Sanders would appoint SCOTUS justices who would remove the religious symbols from the graves of veterans? Well looks like Trumpenfuror supporters may very well do that for him!

At least a dozen gravestones were damaged when Donald Trump supporters attending a rally in Bloomington, Illinois used a nearby cemetery as a parking lot, WJBC-AM reported.
“There was trash everywhere, where they had driven over numerous stones,” said a local firefighter, John Meckley. “Fortunately, not all were damaged, but there were rows and rows and rows of headstones that were driven over.”
According to WICS-TV, the Illinois Association of Firefighters distributed a photo online showing tire marks over several headstones at the East Lawn Memorial Gardens.

To quote Bart Simpson - “Oh my god the dead have risen and they're voting Republican!”.
So what else have classy Donald Trump supporters done? They've beaten the shit out of people, threatened murder, desecrated cemeteries, now they're even abandoning their supposed religions to join the cult of Trump:


Trump’s popularity among self-identified evangelical Christians has led national figures in American Christianity to question whether large swaths of the church even know what their faith teaches, and how it applies to public and political life.

The split is between a subset of evangelicals best categorized as “creedal” believers — those who take their faith most seriously and who oppose Trump. Less devout Christians, often described as “notional” or “cultural,” are more open to the businessman and GOP frontrunner. The majority of national evangelical leaders are on the side of creedal believers.

If Trump becomes the Republican nominee, many of these creedal evangelicals who have traditionally voted Republican say they would distance themselves from the GOP. But nobody knows whether this would result in evangelicals moving over to vote for the Democratic nominee or whether there would be a broader movement among conservatives to form a third party.

And if this wasn't weird enough for ya, here's a Trump supporter saying that Bernie Sanders needs to “meet Jesus”:
A Donald Trump surrogate said during a campaign event Monday morning that Bernie Sanders needs to find Jesus. Sanders, of course, is Jewish. Many of his Polish relatives on his father's side were killed during the Holocaust.

The comment came at a rally in Hickory, North Carolina, on Monday morning, as Pastor Mark Burns warmed up the crowd for Trump—who was running late because of a plane delay. Burns, who has spoken at previous Trump events, told the audience that in order to be taken seriously as a presidential candidate, Sanders needs to accept Christianity.

"Bernie Sanders, who doesn't believe in God," Burns said. "How in the world are we going to let Bernie—I mean really? Listen, Bernie gotta get saved, he gotta meet Jesus. I don't know, he gotta have a coming to Jesus meeting."

Yup. This is what we're going to have to deal with once we get past the RNC – if we get past the RNC. But this is where Florida could turn into Bush V. Gore II: Electric Boogaloo:
Last month, the New York real estate mogul won the Villages Republican straw poll in a landslide. And he's looking strong in Sumter County, which consists almost entirely of the Villages, and where 47 percent of registered Republicans voted early—the highest percentage in the state. Trump backers are already planning a celebratory golf cart victory parade. "I think Trump is the only one that can save our government," says Bill Garner, a retired Army veteran who runs Trump's campaign operation here.

The Villages is a dreamscape of sorts—a college where no one ever goes to class, a summer camp where your parents never come to pick you up. The grass is a rich shade of green, and the daily newspaper is stuffed thick with classified ads, the way daily newspapers used to be. You are always living in that moment of spontaneous bliss just before the Cialis commercial begins. It is by outward appearances one of the happiest places on Earth, where residents sometimes greet people with the community's motto: "It's a beautiful day in the Villages!"

Trump is the only one who can save our government? Have you been paying attention to the same news that I have? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... *wait* ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha....
But then there’s this:

Right wing media have argued that anti-Trump protesters should expect "to get beat up" at his rallies, and others have labeled him the "victim", claiming the protesters infringe on Trump's First Amendment rights and are "totalitarian" and "fascist." Right wing media figures have blamed MoveOn.org for "orchestrat violence" and hijacking "what was to be a peaceful campaign rally," despite the fact that the group was there to protest previous incidents of violence at Trump rallies. Trump apologist and CNN contributor Jeffrey Lord described MoveOn.org as "the new Ku Klux Klan."

On March 16, conservative author Mathew Vadum took to Twitter, and threatened MoveOn.org saying, "Note to MoveOn anti-free speech thugs: Our side has guns, tens of millions of them. Behave yourselves. #tcot."


Holy. Fucking. Shit. They’ve gone balls out crazy at this point. This makes me really fearful of what’s going to happen at the RNC.

[font size="8"]The GOP[/font]

Amtrak. Their dining cars are the only place on earth where you can get a $12 bottle of some delicious Stone IPA accompanied by a microwave cheeseburger that looks like the end result of a 4th grade science experiment gone horribly wrong:

But those cheeseburgers are going to serve as a point that I am going to make in this next entry. It's about the Republicans and several generations of underfunding America's government owned passenger rail service. This is what it leads to. Accountants have a term they use for determining inventory called FIFO – first in, first out. I have coined a new term that the GOP should be using called “GIGO” - garbage in, garbage out. And this is what that leads to:

An Amtrak train derailed in southwestern Kansas early this morning, injuring at least 32 passengers, officials said, and now they are zeroing in on the condition of the track as the cause of the accident.
The derailment occurred shortly after midnight local time about 20 miles west of Dodge City, Kansas, Amtrak said in a statement.
"The condition of the track really is going to be the focus of the investigation," National Transportation Safety Board member Earl Weener said today at a press briefing. "There is every indication that the train was being updated properly."
Amtrak Southwest Chief Train 4 was traveling from Los Angeles to Chicago when it derailed on a track owned and maintained by BNSF Railway, a freight railroad network, according to Amtrak. The train was carrying about 131 passengers and a crew of 14.

Which I'm sure has absolutely nothing and I mean nothing to do with this:
WASHINGTON (AP) — The GOP-controlled House passed legislation Tuesday to cut Amtrak's budget by $242 million, though lawmakers added new funding for video cameras inside locomotive cabs to record engineers and help investigators get to the bottom of crashes such as last month's deadly derailment in Philadelphia.
Amtrak announced last month it is going to install the cameras after years of delays. The transportation and housing measure approved by a narrow 216-210 vote contains $9 million approved last week to fund the inward-facing camera initiative in the budget year starting in October.

[font size="8"]Alex Jones[/font]

So Alex Jones has really gone off the deep end hasn't he? I can't believe he still has supporters anymore, let alone ones who are rational, thinking human beings. But for the batshit crazy that are still listening to his Infowars program, well you get this. South By Southwest is a thing that is happening in Austin right now, and last week I pointed out that an anti bullying seminar that was taking place there was getting death threats. Doesn't that prove the point that the organizers of the seminar were trying to prove in the first place? Well here's what Alex has to say about that. He's hitting the streets of Austin for some hard hitting.... journalism................. ?????

In a rant yesterday about the South by Southwest music and film festival, Alex Jones said that “it’s time to stop being sweet” and that he must literally scream in people’s faces about societal ills like vaccines and groups “selling baby parts.”
“I’m in their face because I love them! Don’t you get that?” Jones shouted. “We’ve been screwed over! We’ve got anger for a reason!” he continued.
“I’m going down there and I’m getting in all of their faces. I’m sick of it. You see people walking into a concentration camp and you better warn them, especially if they’re laughing at you.”
- See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/alex-jones-screams-because-he-loves#sthash.lxTdcT1M.VobMibhy.dpuf

Woooooooooooooooooow.... so by Alex Jones' logic, the tourists that are there to have a good time at South By Southwest are “walking into a concentration camp” and he's going to “get in their face” about how “baby parts are being sold”. Because you know... he's a hip journalist who's out in the streets, he's getting in people's faces! Because... baby parts are being sold. Baby parts are being sold! Do you know what kind of batshit crazy you have to be to believe that kind of nonsense? And if you want to here's some video insanity for you:

And because I’m a firm believer in the concept of “one good turn deserves another”, why yes, Alex Jones does indeed believe an extra terrestrial attack is imminent. He is aware that Independence Day was just a movie right?

Alex Jones says a lot of batshit crazy things but this one might be a little too far off the deep end:

It’s the Devil. The churches aren’t going to tell you. It is an alien force, not of this world, attacking this world like the Bible and every ancient text says, and you can read the Bible, it’s hiding in plain view. It’s not of this world. And I don’t know exactly what it is or what it’s doing, but this is not human intelligence. It’s not human intelligence we’re facing! I refuse to fight with everybody! All the stupid racist white people, the stupid racist black people, the stupid racist Mexicans, all of you, I can’t stand you, you’re idiots. We’re under attack. Everybody’s under attack. The elite hate Trump. Let me tell you, if he is a psy-op, he is the most sophisticated one I ever saw. And even if he is, he is a revelation of the awakening and they have to pull this trick to try to divert us. It doesn’t matter, it’s part of the awakening. Humanity has got to get off-world. We need access to the life-extension technologies. Talk about discrimination, forget skin color. I want the advanced life-extension! I want to go to space! I want to see interdimensional travel! I want what God promised us and I won’t sit here and watch Satan steal it! That’s the fight! That’s the key! That’s everything!

- See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/alex-jones-dont-let-satan-steal-space-travel#sthash.dq3aLuhq.dpuf

Holy crap, I have actually found something I agree with Alex Jones on - I do want to see space exploration ramp up! I want to see our technology advance to where we can explore beyond the boundaries of our solar system. But life extension technology? He's still going on about that shit? WTF? I for one welcome our new Satanic overlords!

I swear one of these days I’m going to do an entry “THIS IS WHAT INFOWARS FOLLOWERS ACTUALLY BELIEVE IN”, South Park style. So enlighten me Alex, where does this magical “life extension technology” exist? Are you aware that “Elysium” was just a movie and not real life? And what are you smoking? Because it must be some pretty strong shit. Uh……… no Alex. You want to know what one of the biggest threats currently facing humanity is? Why it’s a Donald Trump presidency! Yay!!!

A British research organization has warned that a Donald Trump presidency could have a dangerous impact on the world economy, increasing the potential of Islamic terror attacks and of a trade war with Mexico and China.

The Economist Intelligence Unit released its updated global risk assessment, ranking the election of Trump a 12 on a scale of one to 25 — the same number it assigned to the possibility that jihadi terrorism would destabilize the global economy.

The firm pointed to a number of reasons, including Trump's hostility toward free trade, his accusing China of being a "currency manipulator, his advocating the killing of terrorists' families, and his proposal to move troops into Syria to fight ISIS and take its oil.

This appeared to be the first time the EIU had rated a presidential candidate's election as a global risk, the firm told Politico.

Read more: http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/trump-presidency-global-threat-economist-intelligence-unit-warns-n540416

Yes the Economist has made fully aware that Alex Jones’ BFF Donald Trump is not just a real threat to American democracy – he’s a threat to the entire world! And yes a presidential candidate has never appeared on this list before! Huzzah!!

[font size="8"]Jerry Falwell Jr.[/font]

Once again the die hard Christian fundies fail to miss the point of the Bible. And here I thought that Ted Cruz was their main man here. After all, you may remember that previously I've talked about how Teddy gave his launch speech at an assembly at Liberty University where attendance was mandated by the university. But look at this picture taken from said assembly:

Look! The people in the red shirts are saying “vote Rand!”. But once again on the subject of religion and politics, Jerry Falwell Jr. not only fails to miss the point of the Bible entirely, he also is about as batshit crazy as his late father was:

Jerry Falwell Jr.: Donald Trump Is America's King David
In an interview with Liberty University’s student newspaper last week, the school’s president Jerry Falwell, Jr.... who has compared Trump to Jesus Christ and Martin Luther King Jr., said ...
Christians who oppose (Trump) should remember that “God called King David a man after God’s own heart even though he was an adulterer and a murderer,” Falwell said. “You have to choose the leader that would make the best king or president ...”

(Falwell) was very impressed by the presidential candidate’s 757, gushing over how Trump served them Wendy’s cheeseburgers, and put a video of an Elton John concert on the television.
“He’s got this big living room with this big screen TV. He’s got a master bedroom he showed us. Then he let my son and his wife actually sit in the cockpit.”

(I think Falwell sold his soul for a cheeseburger)

King David? King David? Donald Trump is more like King Midas, or better yet King Merdeas, which means that he turns everything to shit! So.......... let me get this straight. Trump is Jesus because he served Wendy's cheeseburgers and put an Elton John concert on his private jet? You know if I recall my Bible study didn't Jesus hate excess? And didn't he also hate hypocrisy and warn about how “the dark one will pose as a creature of light”? Never mind, I'm using logic which right wing fundamentalist Christians hate. So with that in mind, last week I touched on a reporter challenging the Duck Dynasty clan to vote for Hillary Clinton. Well I'm challenging Liberty University to vote for Ted Cruz. And it's not just because of the fact that he made his presidential debut here, but it's because he promises to turn something out of nothing, just like Jesus turned water into wine:
GOP presidential hopeful Ted Cruz’s aggressive plan to shift the tax code from a mostly income-based system to one based on consumption would slash federal revenues by $8.6 trillion over the next decade, according to a new Tax Policy Center analysis. Including interest costs, it would add $10.2 trillion to the debt over 10 years unless Cruz offsets his tax cuts with unprecedented reductions in federal spending. By 2036, Cruz’s plan would add nearly $30 trillion to the debt.

Yeah you might want to rethink that one there, Teddy.

[font size="8"]iHeart Radio[/font]

You may remember iHeart Radio – the multi billion dollar radio conglomerate that was owned by Mitt Romney’s Bain Capital at one point? Well before we get into the entry here and why the billion dollar conglomerate may be facing a billion dollar bankruptcy thanks to a nationwide AM hate radio boycott, I must first talk about what happened at a recent event at the Los Angeles Forum a month ago involving Kris Jenner. Normally I despise the Kardashians and don’t want anything to do with them (but I love talking about Kanye West’s bankruptcy mess), but Kris Jenner got collectively booed by 80’s music fans at a concert at the Forum last month:

But why am I bringing up this particular 80's nostalgia concert at the Forum? Because this particular event was sponsored by iHeart Radio - so you know how in touch they are with their listeners! And that's just one of a million examples. So that happened. And so did this:

Bob Pittman, president of iHeart Media, recently begged a San Antonio judge for a restraining order from creditors in order to stop them from putting the company into default and bankruptcy in the face of $20 billion debt.

iHeart Media currently owns 850 radio stations spanning the country. These stations include “hate radio” pundits like Glenn Beck, Michael Savage, Rush Limbaugh, and Sean Hannity. All of these talking heads have been accused of fear mongering and spreading messages of misogyny, homophobia, racism, and xenophobia. Rush Limbaugh is so infamous for spreading ignorant ideas that nearly 140,000 people have signed a petition to boycott his sponsors.

Despite the national Rush Limbaugh boycott which led to thousands of sponsors fleeing iHeart Media over the last three years, President Bob Pittman refused to make changes, losing them millions. While this was not make or break for the $20 billion in debt company, the consumer brand name damage and loss of thousands of sponsors and listeners did nothing for the flagging outlet.

Ever since the 2008 Bain Capitol acquisition, which was alleged to be a move by presidential hopeful Mitt Romney to control media and get himself elected, iHeart has been struggling. According to Billboard reports, iHeart brought in $6.5 billion in revenue in 2015, but they also had $1.74 billion expense that resulted in a net loss of $661 million.

So yes iHeart Radio is apparently one of the most clueless companies in the entire world. They buy up AM hate radio shows like Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, Michael Savage, etc, and their bubble has burst. Hate doesn’t sell the way it used to. This isn’t 2000. They put on an 80’s tribute concert with some amazing bands like Tears For Fears and Culture Club, and they have Kris Jenner as an MC? Get the fuck out of here!

[font size="8"]Greta Van Susteren[/font]

International Women’s Day. That day that makes men all over the world go “how come there isn’t an International Men’s Day?”. Which if you checked that hashtag on Twitter, you know that was pretty evident that question was being asked. But if you have to ask that question, you, sir, are probably unclear as to the concept of why an International Women’s Day exists. So how does a woman make one of the most misogynistic comments imaginable? Well there's always Fox News! Fox News: Providing the most insensitive answers to all of life's most sensitive questions since 1997! Well, there's Greta Von Susteren for instance, who celebrated by giving a shout out to American men for saying that we’re somehow better than Isis. I wish I were making this up. Roll tape!

But here's the message: Tomorrow is International Women's Day and at the crack of dawn, I'm heading to Texas to interview former first lady Laura Bush, who is hosting an event at the Bush Center in Dallas called Voices of Hope, which, among other things, highlights the most unconscionable things done to women around the world.
The Taliban won't let women listen to music, go to school or leave the house without being covered head to toe in a burqa. And if a woman dares to violate the rules, she risks being publicly stoned in a stadium in front of crowds of cheering men. Women around the world living under Sharia law endure the unthinkable simply for being women, which brings me to this.
On this International Women's Day eve, it'd be a good time for us women to recognize that American men. Let's give American men a shoutout. Things aren't perfect. For instance, we still don't have equal pay for equal work. But American men are, by very far, the best men on the planet. We American women, we may not say it, but we know that and American men deserve to hear that from us.

That’s real. That happened. And that didn’t stop John Oliver for calling out this bullshit nonsense, and this is why I love John Oliver.

[font size="8"]Ted Cruz[/font]

So the original entry that I had for this edition turned out to be a hoax. So we will go ahead with the entry that I was originally going to save for the end of this week's edition. And this is about presidential runner up Ted Cruz – was he the lead guitar player in Christian rock band Stryper? Well there’s a photo this week we here at TTCI find very troubling and need some guidance from you, the audience on, for another edition of (*cue reverb*) YOU BE THE JUDGE!!

If you laughed to yourself when the notion started to circulate that Ted Cruz was the Zodiac killer and thought that was funny but the end of it, well, there’s another one. The latest conspiracy theory is that the Texas senator is secretly… the lead singer of Christian heavy-metal band Stryper.
As Jay Hathaway writes on The Daily Dot:
You’ve got to admit, it’s a compelling theory. Ted Cruz was a Christian mime in high school, so a leap into this black-and-yellow striped racing costume, isn’t so farfetched, right? And, unlike Cruz and the Zodiac Killer, Cruz and Stryper lead singer Michael Sweet are less than 10 years apart in age. They’re both about the same height, too.


So Ted Cruz does not strike me as the kind of guy who would wear clown makeup and act out as a mime. But could he also be Robert Kardashian????

Lotta good conspiracy theories floating around these days. Did Obama’s infamous gang of Pillow Assassins kill Antonin Scalia? Is Trump a false flag candidate for Hillary? Is Ted Cruz secretly still Canadian? Is Ted Cruz secretly still Robert Kardashian Sr.?
The conspiracy goes like this: “Ted Cruz” is a disguise employed by Armenian-American entertainment lawyer Robert Kardashian, who did not die of esophageal cancer in 2003 as the world believed. Instead, he faked his death and assumed the role of “Ted Cruz,” leaving his family to fend for itself in Calabasas to begin a flourishing political career. To complete the masquerade, “Ted Cruz” married “Heidi Cruz”—who is actually former Saturday Night Live cast member Ana Gasteyer.

Well we’ll let you be the judge:

[font size="8"]Top 10 Conservative Idiots Mystery Machine[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, LGBT and gender non conformers! Gather around and let’s take a trip in the Top 10 Mystery Machine! Come on let's go!

Gee so what’s the major crime we are going to look at today? Why someone tried to take the Fed for nearly a billion dollars. I will repeat that: a billion dollars. And who noticed in the media? Um… absolutely nobody. They’re too busy giving Donald Trump nearly $2 billion in free air time. So how did it happen? Here’s how it went down:

DHAKA, Bangladesh—Someone using official codes stole $100 million from Bangladesh’s account at the New York Fed over a recent weekend. Authorities in four countries are still piecing together what happened.

The breach funneled $81 million from the country’s account at the New York Federal Reserve to personal bank accounts in the Philippines. Another $20 million was directed to a bank in Sri Lanka.

In scenes that would be right at home in Hollywood, the unknown criminals sent 35 transfer requests through the Swift interbank messaging system, a Bangladesh Bank official and an official of the Ministry of Finance have said. Whoever made the requests had the necessary codes to authorize Swift transfers and put in the payment requests on a weekend, the officials said.
The incident has led to recriminations, with Bangladesh’s finance minister accusing the Fed of irregularities, and questions being raised about the quality of security in the South Asian country. In an early sign of fallout from the breach, Bangladesh’s central-bank governor, Atiur Rahman , resigned Tuesday.


*South Park voice* So who is stealing from the people of Bangladesh? Is it the Koch Brothers? Russia? China? Well we don’t know exactly but here’s how the money is being spread around, and how it could have been much much worse!

A $1 billion cyber heist against Bangladesh’s central bank was thwarted by a spelling error

The cyber thieves, using the Bangladesh Bank’s credentials for transferring funds, tried to move another $850 million out of the US account, but one of the transfer requests raised an alarm when the word “foundation” was misspelled as “fandation.” The error was spotted by Deutsche Bank—one of the routing banks—which then asked the Bangladesh Bank for clarification, officials told Reuters. The central bank confirmed the attempted theft on March 13. But it had not immediately informed Bangladesh’s finance ministry when it learned of the breach, prompting finance minister Abul Maal Abdul Muhith to call the handling of the issue “very incompetent.”
On March 15, a senator in the Philippines who was investigating the theft said that more than $30 million of the stolen funds were given to a Chinese man in Manila, in cash. Reuters reported that the cash delivery would have meant a transfer of “at least 780,000 banknotes.”

The Anti-Money Laundering Council in the Philippines is in the process of drafting charges against several people suspected of being involved in the theft.

Meanwhile, the New York Fed has said there is still no evidence that its systems were penetrated. It indicated that the transfer requests passed muster with SWIFT, or the Society for Worldwide Interbank Financial Telecommunication, which is the global messaging network used by banking institutions to securely send information about financial transactions. From the New York Fed’s March 9 statement:


Yes – there have been many great heists over the years. This is not one of them. Zoiks, Scoob! We have a mystery on our hands, man! Re he he he he he… But is it really a mystery? I mean come on, what could have been a billion dollars and been a serious international incident has been reduced to a mere $100 million and the media doesn’t really pay any attention to it. If $100 million has been stolen and the media doesn’t make a noise about it, does it really exist? But I like that the Philippines has an “anti money laundering council” and we don’t have such a thing like that here in the States. Quick! To the Mystery Machine! All right let’s pull off the mask and find out who you really are!

A tranche of $29 million ended up in an account of Solaire, a casino resort owned and operated by Bloomberry Resorts Corp (BLOOM.PS). Bloomberry is controlled by Enrique Razon, the Philippines' fifth-richest man in 2015, according to Forbes.

Silverio Benny Tan, corporate secretary of Bloomberry Resorts, told the hearing that the $29 million was transferred into a casino account under Xu's name in exchange for 'dead chips' that can only be cashed in from winnings.

Bautista said a further $21 million went to an account of Eastern Hawaii Leisure Co., a gaming firm in northern Philippines. Reuters tried several phone numbers to seek comment from Eastern Hawaii officials but was unable to reach any.
Senator Guingona said that because casinos are not covered by the country's anti-money laundering laws it was not clear if the stolen funds could ever be recovered.


Yes! A casino in China needed gambling money to pay for dead chips! Which may or may not have anything to do with the fact that Bloomberry Resorts is in dire straights and needs some desperate quick cash to pay for its’ bankruptcy woes:

MANILA -- Philippine casino operator Bloomberry Resorts has been shifting its focus, eyeing countries outside Asia for expansion.
The company has been struggling of late, due in part to the slowing economy in China. So it is scrambling instead to expand its operations in countries less affected by the slowdown in the world's second-largest economy.

But why Bloomberry Resorts? Why? “Well I would have got away with it too, if it wasn’t for those meddling Feds!”

See you next week!
March 14, 2016

John Oliver: iPhones May Not Be As Secure As You Would Think

Watch this and you will see why I am never, ever, ever using a phone payment service, or using an app that starts my car from my phone.
March 13, 2016

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #19: Endorsed By Donald Drumpf Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #19: Endorsed By Donald Drumpf Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! So last week we ended with the number 10 spot being about basketball – and it ended with a colossal fuck up of epic proportions surrounding the University of Louisville’s shockingly stupid recruiting violations that got them self-banned from NCAA tournament participation. I honestly can’t fathom the stupidity it takes to voluntarily ban yourselves from participating in the biggest basketball tournament of the year. The only thing I can think of is that they did it to prevent the NCAA from imposing further sanctions on the school’s basketball program. Especially if you have a fairly decent team this year. But you don’t declare yourselves champions after banning yourself from the tournament! It doesn’t work that way! You can’t be Kanye West and give yourself album of the year without it being released or having anybody heard it, and that’s completely a true analogy by the way! Enough ranting. We have a lot of conservative idiocy to get to this week. And I do mean a lot. But first Stephen Colbert discusses Donald Drumpf’s meat. Er, his line of steaks:

So to start with – the top slot goes to Donald Drumpf’s Ego (1) because he is still denying he doesn’t know who David Duke is, among other things he doesn’t know. At number 2 is Donald Drumpf (2) and we’re going to discuss his never ending love of product endorsements, and they are all spectacular failures. At number 3 is Ted Cruz (3) who among other fails appointed Jeb!’s brother Neil as his economic advisor (ha!), and is playing the persecution card. Taking the fourth seed is a Top 10 update - we're going to take a look at how the Wounded Warrior Project (4) blew several hundreds of millions and bilked investors and donors. At number 5, is a slew of religious and anti-LGBT nutjobs (5) which includes a Fox pundit denouncing the Coexist bumper stickers, a Stockton church cancelling its’ Easter ceremony, and an African Christian who literally fed his ass to the lions. At number 6 we’re going to take a look at a Texas School Board candidate named Mary Lou Bruner (6). Holy crap there is some serious crazy here. At number 7,we’re going to take another page from John Oliver and ask “How is this still a thing?”. And that’s preacher con artist Jim Bakker’s show – how is he still on the air? In the number 8 spot, while on the subject of crazy preachers, the Catholic League’s (8) insanely homophobic and sole member Bill Donahue is actively campaigning against the new Dan Savage produced ABC comedy “The Real O’Neals”, because it features – wait for it – a gay character! The horror! And as we’ve learned from the past, Dan Savage is a guy who you never want to fuck with. At number 9, Marco Rubio (9) can’t even draw a crowd in his home state of Florida. Finally – normally I save the crazy extra hard for the 10th spot for each edition but there really wasn’t anything too crazy this week. So instead I’m going to take a page from George Carlin’s 1992 special “Back In Town” and just talk about some random conservative idiots’ bullshit and do an exercise in free floating and completely random idiocy (10). Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

[font size="8"]Donald Drumpf’s Ego[/font]

First off, I have to give props to this third grader who has written a scathing letter to Donald Drumpf:


So last week, we went into great detail about Donald Drumpf’s campaign getting unwavering support from America’s white supremacists. But this week – Donald Drumpf is claiming that he’s not recalling any support for or from David Duke. But before we get into this week’s top entry, let us first talk about some past history between Donald Drumpf and David Duke:

Asked if he would publicly reject the support of former Ku Klux Klan grand wizard David Duke, Republican presidential front-runner Donald Drumpf said, “I just don’t know anything about him.” That’s nonsense:
• Duke ran for governor of Louisiana in 1991 as a Republican, and Drumpf said at the time that President George H.W. Bush was right “to come out against” Duke’s campaign. Duke lost but he won a majority of the white vote — which Drumpf found troubling. “I hate seeing what it represents,” Drumpf said, referring to what he called the “anger vote.”
• In 2000, Drumpf considered running for the Reform Party presidential nomination but did not run because he said he did not want to be associated with Pat Buchanan, who had left the Republican Party to seek the Reform Party nomination, and David Duke, who supported Buchanan. Drumpf at the time called Duke “a bigot, a racist, a problem.”

Yes that’s correct – in 1991 and 2000 – a span of 9 years mind you, Donald Drumpf rejected the idea of running a third party because of the fact that David Duke, one of America’s most notorious white supremacists – was connected to them. He even went so far as to call Duke a “racist, bigot, problem”. And when Donald Drumpf says that you’re a racist, bigot, and a problem, you sir, are a racist, bigot and a problem. But here’s where Donald Drumpf insults Islam:

Donald Drumpf did not bother to draw any distinction between the Islamic religion and Islamic terrorists during a recent interview, where he bluntly claimed that, “Islam hates us.”
During an interview with Anderson Cooper on CNN, Drumpf was asked whether or not he believed the Islamic religion was “at war with the West.”
“I think Islam hates us,” the former reality TV star and current GOP presidential frontrunner responded.
“We have to get to the bottom of it,” Drumpf added. “There is an unbelievable hatred of us — anybody.”

Yeah well… they’re all stupid losers. See under my watch there will only be winners. No stupid losers will get in. They want 72 virgins? They can have them when they’re not on American soil. I Donald Drumpf will make sure there are only winners with giant penises living in America. Thank you very much. But with that out of the way, last week I noted that Ivana Drumpf, Drumpf’s ex wife said this:
According to a 1990 Vanity Fair interview, Ivana Drumpf once told her lawyer Michael Kennedy that her husband, real-estate mogul Donald Drumpf, now a leading Republican presidential candidate, kept a book of Hitler's speeches near his bed.

Wow. Just…….. wow. The guy who keeps a book of speeches that Hitler wrote by his bedside and is essentially running on a platform of “what would Adolf do?” is calling David Duke a racist. That is about as ignorant as it gets. But here’s where Donald Drumpf is in full denial mode about David Duke’s unwavering support of his campaign:
"Well, just so you understand, I don't know anything about David Duke. okay? I don't know anything about what you're even talking about with white supremacy or white supremacists. So, I don't know.
"I don't know, did he endorse me or what's going on, because, you know, I know nothing about David Duke. I know nothing about white supremacists. And so you're asking me a question that I'm supposed to be talking about people that I know nothing about. …
"I don't know any -- honestly, I don't know David Duke. I don't believe I have ever met him. I'm pretty sure I didn't meet him. And I just don't know anything about him."

Yup – he’s doing the good conservative deed of denying those things that he didn’t know he actually did. Which is um, yeah what every conservative does when what they do backfires and turns into a shit storm! But remember this pic of Drumpf supporters doing a Nazi salute at a rally in Florida last week?
Well…………………. Guess what???
"Well, I think it’s ridiculous. We’re having such a great time. Yesterday, I had 20,000 people in Mississippi. I had tremendous crowds in Michigan. And sometimes we’ll do it for fun, and they’ll start screaming at me, ‘Do the swear-in! Do the swear-in!’ They’re having such a great time," Drumpf said in response. "Honestly, until this phone call, I didn’t know it was a problem."

But he’s now perfectly OK with violence erupting at his rallies, and is almost actively encouraging this kind of nonsense:

Drumpf remarks came the day after John McGraw, 78, was criminally charged for allegedly sucker-punching a black protester at a Drumpf rally in North Carolina Wednesday evening.

Asked if he's "playing a character" when he says things like "I want to punch a protester in the face," Drumpf responded there have been "some violent people" protesting his rallies.

"These are people that punch. People that are violent people," Drumpf said. "The particular one where I said 'I'd like to bang him,' that was a very vicious – a guy who was swinging, very loud, and then started swinging at the audience."


Yup! So to recap – he doesn’t know about David Duke or his support coming from America’s white supremacists. But he’s perfectly OK with protestors throwing punches! In fact he’s actually encouraging this kind of thing! Bravo! Well done Drumpf! What else is he in denial about?

When Donald Drumpf isn’t bragging about the size of his d*ck, threatening his enemies, spouting horrific racist remarks, attacking easy targets Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio, or screaming angrily that prominent religious figures disagree with his bigotry, he falls back on one of his favorite hobbies: enjoying the show as his racist, violent supporters beat people up in his name. It’s almost impossible to watch the three-ring circus that is a Drumpf rally without seeing his uneducated fans beat someone up for expressing an opinion.
Drumpf’s supporters’ favorite targets are rather unsurprising given his massive support among white supremacists. Recently, The Donald ordered police to remove about 30 peaceful African-American students from one of his rallies just for being there while black. But, of course, things could have been much worse for them. Normally, if an African-American speaks out against Drumpf at one of his events, he or she is met with violence.

By the way, I have to give a shout out to this article which has a modernized Drumpf-esque Gettysburg Address. The whole thing is worth reading when you have time. So with that in mind, I don't like to keep talking about Donald Drumpf, quite frankly I'm getting fucking sick of it to the point where I'm thinking of imposing a moritorium on all things Drumpf for a while, but as CBS president Les Moonves put it – Donald Drumpf is not just good for business, he's damn good for business, so they leave me no choice, damn it!

Ed. Note: Don't worry – next week we will dive head first into Drumpf's spectacular collapse in Chicago and the violence breaking out at Drumpf rallies. Stay tuned!

[font size="8"]Donald Drumpf[/font]

OMFG. That’s Donald Drumpf endorsing his own line of steaks for sale at the Sharper Image. Who goes there for meat? “Yes, I’ll take a massage chair, some electric toothbrushes and 8 pounds of steak for a backyard barbecue!”. I don’t ever remember seeing a butcher case at the Sharper Image in my local mall and that place hasn’t existed for 10 years now!

So for this entry we’re going to talk about something that we haven’t really touched on in the Top 10 yet. Specifically Donald Drumpf’s insanely long list of failed product endorsements. I think I figured out which fictional character is most representative of Donald Drumpf. Want to know who it is?

HEY HEY!!!! It’s Krusty the Klown! On the Simpsons – Krusty has had a long, long ridiculously long line of product endorsements with his name on them, and they’ve all been spectacular failures such as animal sculpting kits, pregnancy tests, legal forms, electric toothbrushes, eye washes, Kamp Krusty, and of course a Klown Kollege (think about the initials for a minute ), and my personal favorite – atomic particle accelerators. Donald Drumpf on the other hand has his own line of steaks, airlines, casinos, magazines, vodka, men’s fashion wear, and of course Drumpf University where he teaches aspiring MBAs to be billionaires just like him! Oh wait – the university folded and its’ students are suing him for millions.

Drumpf University was formed in late 2004 and originally focused on web-based seminars and CD-ROMs. In May 2005 the New York Education Department notified Drumpf U that it was operating without a license and its use of the term “university” violated state law. The program, run directly out of the Drumpf Organization offices, pledged to move its headquarters out of New York, according to the New York AG’s complaint.
But it didn’t, according to the AG. It stayed and, in fact, used the Drumpf Organization’s “40 Wall Street” address in many of its promotional materials—apparently to underscore to students that they were now playing in the big leagues, Schneiderman and the plaintiffs contend. (Only five years later, in May 2010—after receiving a cease-and-desist letter from AG Schneiderman’s office—did the program finally change its name to Drumpf Entrepreneur Initiative. A few months after that, it ceased operations.)
In 2007 Drumpf University began doing live seminars. It gave them in California, Florida, New York, Illinois, Texas, and many other states. Some people have described the seminars as a “sales funnel,” for reasons that will soon become apparent.
In promotional videos, ads, and individualized invitations, members of the public were urged to attend free 90-minute introductory “previews” of the program’s course on doing real-estate deals. These were infomercials where the instructors urged participants to buy a three-day seminar, which cost $1,495, according to the complaint.


But there’s more to the Drumpf University scandal and it may be just going beyond a simple report card where everyone got perfect scores regardless of how they did on tests:
Donald Drumpf has been under fire lately from critics who claim that everything he touches turns to, well, failure and that the only real gold in his life comes from the metallic Sharpies he uses to write letters about how great he is to his detractors in the press. He has been fighting against these allegations dutifully, showcasing business ventures in an attempt to prove how successful they were. (That didn’t work well.) Still, his efforts to re-legitimize Drumpf Steaks and Drumpf Water pale in comparison to how hard he’s been fighting back against those who disparage his failed seminars, Drumpf University.
Drumpf recently called out some displeased former students by name in an ad. He then pulled out report cards filled out by students. All of the cards gave his seminars incredible ratings. On the website he set up to prove that his courses were legit, many more report cards are available.

Oh my god does this get better and better. It’s the gift that keeps on giving. So the entire university was essentially an advertisement to get you to buy an insanely expensive DVD program that cost $1500. Talk about screwing the poor! But at a jaw dropping speech the other day, Drumpf talked a lot about some of his business ventures that he has owned that have been “great successes”. Oh wait – they’re no longer being produced:

Donald Drumpf's Mini Tuesday victory press conference turned into something of a live infomercial last night when the GOP presidential candidate took the opportunity to pitch a number of his business ventures.
Wines were on display, as were water bottles and piles of raw steaks, with Drumpf claiming they were all examples of his "successful companies."
But that isn't necessarily the case. The majority of the products the real estate mogul highlighted are no longer being produced, aren't affiliated with him or were never available for sale publicly. Here's a look at some of the ventures Drumpf touted Tuesday -- and where they stand now:
Drumpf Steaks: "Sold Out" (And Those May Not Have Been His Steaks)
Drumpf Magazine: No Longer in Print
Drumpf Water: Only Available on His Properties
Drumpf Winery: Fully Operational
Drumpf Vodka: Now Only Available on eBay
Drumpf Airlines: No Longer in the Air
Drumpf University: Fighting Multiple Lawsuits

Wait – go back. So you’re saying, ABC, that Drumpf Steaks may not have actually been steaks from a company that Drumpf owns?

ABC News spoke to Doug Bush, the sales manager for the West Palm Beach-based company, who confirmed that while he does sell steaks to “a number of Mr. Drumpf’s clubs in South Florida,” their company was “not affiliated” with Drumpf Steaks. When asked why Drumpf would be pointing to Bush Brothers steaks as examples of Drumpf Steaks, Bush said “I don’t know anything about that.”
When they were sold, Drumpf Steaks could be found at The Sharper Image. The consumer electronics company, which went bankrupt in 2008 and was re-launched in 2010, started selling Drumpf Steaks in 2007.

While on the subject of products that have Donald Drumpf's name on them, don't forget to order your very own set of Donald Drumpf poop bags to show your “support” of Drumpf's campaign and to clean up after your dog's shit! But there is one other product worth mentioning – especially in the greater Chicago area. I love this city and their extremely crass sense of humor. So a popular Chicago area eatery called “The Weiner’s Circle” is selling 3” hot dogs that they are calling “Donald Drumpf Footlongs” because of the joke that he made about his penis last week and they’re doing this in preparation for Der Drumpfenfuror’s visit next week:

LINCOLN PARK — Famed hot dog stand The Wiener's Circle will welcome Donald Drumpf to Chicago this weekend by selling 3-inch long hot dogs, its owners announced Thursday.
All day Friday, Saturday and Sunday, the stand, 2622 N. Clark St., will offer the microdogs in three bundles. Customers can buy a "Drumpf footlong," (one dog) a "Drumpf package" (two dogs) or a "Drumpf Super PAC" (four dogs with fries and a drink).
Drumpf will hold a campaign rally Friday at the UIC Pavillion, 526 S. Racine Ave. Plans are already being drawn for a massive protest across the street.

Well done!

[font size="8"]Ted Cruz[/font]

So if the Cleveland RNC does indeed result in a brokered convention we could be in an interesting ride leading up to November, especially if the worst case scenario that the Cleveland Police are planning for:

CLEVELAND, Ohio -- Cleveland is seeking to buy 2,000 sets of riot gear, including riot-control suits and collapsible batons, as part of the city's latest move to spend a $50 million federal security grant for July's Republican National Convention.
The city this week posted to its contracting website a notice seeking bidders to provide the gear. City documents refer to the "Elite Defender" riot-control suit manufactured by HWI Gear and a 26-inch baton manufactured by Monadnock, plus 2,000 bags to carry them.

Yes they are seeking to buy riot gear if Donald Drumpf doesn’t emerge as the nominee, so Ted Cruz had better get comfortable if he’s seeking the GOP nomination. But he certainly isn’t easing America’s fears about a liberal Supreme Court if Obama gets his way with a justice pick while in his last 10 months in office, which, is their constitutional duty by the way. This week Teddy said this:

Explaining his case for himself, Cruz issued a dire warning about what might happen without a Cruz presidency. Naturally, it involves Christian persecution, because the gubment’s going to throw Christians in prison if Cruz isn’t there to save ‘Merika from a liberal justice sitting on the Supreme Court. (And, before you ask, no, Donald Drumpf can’t save us. He’s disqualified for using the ‘c’ word: compromise)....

We are one liberal justice away from the Supreme Court ordering Ten Commandments monuments torn down all over this country. We are one liberal justice away from the Supreme Court erasing the Second Amendment from the Bill of Rights.

We are one liberal justice away from the Supreme Court ordering veteran’s memorials torn down if they have any religious symbols — torn down all over this country.

And we are one liberal justice away from the Supreme Court making us subject to the World Court and the United Nations and international law and giving away US sovereignty.

Uh……….. no Teddy they won’t. Ted goes so far out of his way to prove that he’s the more godly candidate than the next, doesn’t he? I mean right? Yes veteran’s memorial symbols will be torn down if we get a liberal Supreme Court. Shut up!!!! Do you not know that the consitutiion guarantees two things regarding religion: (1) no religious test shall be required for public office, and (2) Congress shall make no law establishing a national religion. But then facts escape die hard Christian fundies like Teddy. But then he has a surprise addition to his staff – Neil Bush! Yes the third Bush brother!

The younger brother of former President George W. Bush and failed presidential candidate Jeb Bush has joined Ted Cruz's national finance team. Neil Bush and his wife Maria were announced as the newest members of Cruz's backing team in a Tuesday press release from the Texan senator's campaign. Jeb Bush, meanwhile, has remained quiet about endorsing any candidates for the March 15 primary in Florida. "We are seeing incredible momentum around our campaign," Cruz said in the statement, which boasted of former Jeb, Rand Paul, and Rick Perry supporters joining his team.


Wow what a pedigree of failed business owners and presidential candidates! I mean Rand Paul – who wouldn’t want that endorsement? Oh wait, nobody! By the way, having Neil Bush on your economic team after a long string of business venture fails is like having Krusty The Klown in charge of your merchandise.

[font size="8"]The Wounded Warrior Project[/font]

It’s time for a Top 10 Conservative Idiots update! Yay!! Remember a few weeks ago when I talked about the Wounded Warrior Project? Well they’re back in the news and guess what? Something good has happened – the CEO and COO got fired! Yay!!!!!!!!!!

In an update to a CBS News investigation of the country's largest veterans charity, Wounded Warrior Project, the board has fired the Chief Executive Officer and the Chief Operating Officer.

The CBS News investigation raised questions about how the charity spends the millions of dollars it receives in donations each year.

Wounded Warrior Project's CEO, Steven Nardizzi, and COO, Al Giordano, were fired after criticisms from more than 40 employees about how it spends its more than $800 million raised in donations in the past four years.

The allegations include lavish spending by the charity at staff retreats, and other costs, at the expense of programs for veterans.

Read more: http://www.cbsnews.com/news/wounded-warrior-project-ceo-and-coo-fired/

So what did the Wounded Warrior Project spend their money on? In the last 4 years they have raised more than $800 million. But if you take into account what they spent on actual wounded warriors, it is way less than the 1% required by the IRS charity deduction guidelines and they actually spent it on nonsense:

Shocking new details on lavish spending by the veterans charity that led to the CEO and COO’s firing after years of controversy.

The Wounded Warrior Project’s board of directors fired the charity’s chief executive officer and chief operating officer Thursday following years of scandal and suspect management.

The massive charity spent lavishly on snacks, company retreats, and more, whistleblowers told The Daily Beast. The charity had a quarter-million-dollar annual budget for candy and soda, and spent untold sums on staff field trips and elaborately produced music videos promoting executives.

The Wounded Warrior Project raised more than $340 million in 2014, making it one of the largest veterans’ charities in America. Its ubiquitous television commercials and product placement made it a household name, leading many Americans to donate to the group, thinking the vast majority of their contributions would go toward helping veterans.

Instead, less than 60 percent of the charity’s funds went directly to veterans’ programs (top-rated charities routinely spend more than 90 percent on programming). Meanwhile, CEO Steven Nardizzi collected an annual salary of more than $470,000.


Yes!!! Candy and music videos promoting executives! Because that’s what a charity that’s supposed to do some good in the world and actually help those in need does! But seriously how does one spend $250,000 on candy? Did they go to that restaurant in New York City where they serve $1,000 sundaes covered with a sheet of gold? In fact the Wounded Warrior Project actually got downgraded by a nonprofit for its’ “support” (term used loosely) of veterans:
Veterans-Charity Watchdog Downgrades Wounded Warrior Project
A nonprofit that evaluates veterans' and military-related charities has removed the controversial Wounded Warrior Project from its roster of accredited organizations, The San Diego Union-Tribune reports.
Officials at the Patriots Initiative, headquartered in San Diego, said Florida-based Wounded Warrior failed to satisfy many of their criteria for donor engagement and success.

[font size="8"]Religious / Anti LGBT Nuts[/font]

So Easter is almost upon us, and what brings out Easter better than pointing out the Christians’ favorite enemy – teh gehays!! Oh noz!! So we’re combining a couple of entries into another TTCI mega entry!! To start with - oh my fair LGBT brothers and sisters, I ask you this – why do you continue to patronize Fox News? Is it to get a dialogue going between the left and the right? Well the self loathers on Fox News won’t have any of that. Or is it simply that the LGBT people that Fox News gets for their correspondent pieces just so batshit crazy and partisan that they simply don’t give a shit? Behind door #1 – I give you Fox News “gay correspondent” Gus Benson:

Out gay Fox News contributor Guy Benson recently said that “so-called open-minded” supporters of same-sex marriage need to be more tolerant of anti-gay activists.

Towleroad reports that while speaking at the 2016 Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), Benson said that gay rights activists “are hounding heretics ruthlessly from their midst to the point that if you’re a Democrat, if you’re a liberal and you might hold traditional views on marriage, you probably don’t want to talk about it very much for fear of the wrath and judgment of your fellow so-called open-minded leftists.”

Benson adds that although he is in favor of same-sex marriage, he disagrees with the “mandatory celebration” of the SCOTUS ruling, and believes that anti-gay businesses shouldn't be expected to provide their services for gay weddings.

Benson went on to say that the "coexist" bumper stickers “that they love on the left” are “a little morality billboard on your fender to demonstrate what a wonderfully good person you are for fellow motorists. (However) what coexistence really looks like in America today is disagreeing with someone on marriage and not trying to sue their business out of existence because they disagree.”

Wait – whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? How can you hate the Coexist bumper sticker? I thought that brought peace and unity through all major religions in bumper sticker form!

It's essentially the anti-NOTW:

And now behind door #2 – we go to Stockton, California where a church rather than allow everyone to pray at its’ Easter service – teh gays included – simply cancelled its’ forthcoming Easter ceremony:

Earlier this year, Easter Sunrise Service organizer and Stockton Police Chaplain Jim Reid (photo, front right) invited the Rev. Terri Miller, who leads Valley Ministries church, to attend the 17th annual event.

But Reid retracted Miller's invitation after learning that Valley Ministries is a predominantly LGBT church. In an email to Miller from his city account, Reid explained that "we are diametrically different in our view of scripture when it comes to homosexuality.”

Reid's email led to him being placed on leave by the Stockton Police Department, then fired. The head of the Stockton Leadership Foundation, which organizes the service, re-invited Miller, and she planned to attend with her wife.

When did “do unto others” become “discriminate against everybody”? I have read lots and lots of the Bible. I don’t remember Jesus discriminating against anybody for the most part. But here’s where one Christian takes things way too far, and well, gets his own ass handed to him, literally. We go to the African nation of Ghana to close out this entry:

Alec Ndiwane was filled with the Holy Spirit when he decided to “challenge” lions at the Kruger National Park.

The Zion Christian Church Prophet was at the park with his fellow church members when, according to GhanaWeb, he went into a trance and began speaking in tongues. The group approached the pride of lions while they munched happily on an antelope, but that’s when Ndiwane ran toward the lions.

Out To Africa lists humans as the major predator to lions, so it’s no surprise that the lions took on the challenge. Once he realized what was happening, Ndiwane made an about-face and immediately ran away. Unfortunately, lions are fast and fierce animals and when one of the lions snapped her paws on him, Ndiwane sustained injuries to his buttocks.

Why am I reminded of Futurama when Bender makes a deal with the devil where the Robot Devil steals his ass plate, and then Bender is like “Bite my shiny metal…….. oh no!!!!”?

[font size="8"]Mary Lou Bruner[/font]

The Texas School Board – rewriting every aspect of American history dating back to prehistoric times since 1981! Well, you have to be a certain kind of crazy to join the Texas school board, because they will make decisions that will affect how American history is taught throughout the entire state of Texas. Well there’s Texas school board crazy, and then there’s Mary Lou Bruner, who has come under fire for some unbelievable comments made toward the Obama administration.

AUSTIN, TX -- Another Texas political figure is making national headlines, but not necessarily for all the right reasons.
Mary Lou Bruner is poised to be the next member of the Texas State Board of Education, having fallen just short of the 50 percent needed to secure the seat this past Tuesday.
Bruner will compete with chiropractor Keven Ellis, who got 31 percent of the vote, in a May runoff. Bruner, the GOP candidate, is expected to win over over Democratic opponent in the general election, as the Houston Chronicle reported.
That prospect has raised quite a few eyebrows, in Austin and beyond. The 68-year-old retired teacher from Smith County has distinguished herself with some, let’s say interesting, views and theories on everything from climate change to President Obama.

So let’s take a look at some of her greatest hits, shall we?

• On climate change: “Climate change has nothing to do with weather or climate,” she wrote last June: “It is all about system change from capitalism (free enterprise) to Socialism-Communism. The Climate Change HOAX was Karl Marx’s idea.”

Really? The Communist Manifesto was published in 1848. How could Karl Marx possibly have predicted overpopulation and global warming back even 62 years before the first production automobile premiered?

• Last November, she weighed in on the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, by saying “Many people believe the Democrat Party had JFK killed because the socialists and Communists in the party did not want a conservative president.”

Is it me or do republicans look unbelievably dumb when they refer to us as the “democrat party” instead of the “DEMOCRATIC party”? If that’s an attempt to insult us by spelling the party name wrong, well, they fail. And JFK was conservative? What planet is she living on? It certainly isn’t Earth.

• On more topical issues, she also has some -- let’s again say interesting -- theories. As recently as October, she wrote in a post that President Barack Obama once worked as a gay prostitute: “Obama has a soft spot for homosexuals because of the years he spent as a male prostitute in his twenties,” she wrote. “That is how he paid for his drugs.”

This one is so batshit crazy that I literally have no response. When was Obama a gay male prostitute who paid for hardcore drugs? I don’t remember that anywhere in his biography!

And by the way, yes there is video of her spouting some anti-Islamic sentiment before the Texas School Board in question:

[font size="8"]Jim Bakker[/font]

Once again it’s time to ask:

This week it’s the Jim Bakker Show. You might remember Jim Bakker as a televangelist crook who got busted in the 80’s for swindling the elderly. But he’s back in the news this week for some batshit crazy things that have been happening on his show. Jim Bakker is one of those guys who it strikes me as never wanting to make an honest living. If you remember Frank Zappa’s scathing editorial on fundamentalist Christians and televangelists known as “Broadway The Hard Way”, there really isn’t much of a line drawn between televangelist and petty theft. Well combine petty theft with selling junk products to people who are insanely paranoid about the end of the world, and you have this. Roll tape!

Last week on “The Jim Bakker Show,” televangelist Jim Bakker said that World War III is imminent — so imminent that “the Third World War could begin this month.”
And that is why, according to Bakker, you should immediately start buying his ministry’s buckets of survival food.
“We don’t know when all these things will happen, but I’ll tell you what, if that is the third one and it does begin this month, there won’t be any food left in the warehouses to ship out because one event and everybody goes and orders,” he said.
But before you buy a year’s worth of buckets of fettucine alfredo and macaroni and cheese, make sure you stock up on clean water and lower your expectations.
- See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/jim-bakker-buy-my-survival-food-because-world-war-iii-coming-soon#sthash.eq9qV4wu.IQj3LQoh.dpuf

Well, if we elect Donald Drumpf and he declares war on Mexico for not paying for his absurd Great Wall, and China and Russia declare war on us, then World War III will be here sooner than you think, Jim. So maybe he’s not too far off. Not to mention on Jim Bakker’s show this also happened this week:

Last week on “The Jim Bakker Show,” televangelist Rick Joyner explained what he sees as the real reason why Bernie Sanders has become popular, particularly among young voters: the Communist Party has taken over the nation’s schools. Joyner said that the Communists have “taken over the media and taken over education,” and made sure that students are “taught socialism in our schools since they were young” while “we let them steal our history and take our history out of it.” Sanders, Joyner said, is the candidate they’ve “been waiting for.”

- See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/rick-joyner-bernie-sanders-popular-because-communist-party-runs-schools#sthash.ELMdHiEk.dpuf

Yeah because being a democrat automatically equals communist! Shut up! Seriously in an age when the top 1% of 1% have three times more money than all of the rest of the world combined, it’s definitely time to change some shit, don’t you think?

Well there’s one guy who could have the potential to ignite World War III and that man’s name is Donald Drumpf. I mentioned this a couple of weeks ago and feel it deserves another mention – it turns out China and Russia may be cheering for a president Donald Drumpf because, World War III, yo!

Global threats mount, and on top of the heap a jester gesticulates, roars and guffaws. The United States – no, the world – is in thrall to the Donald Drumpf reality show, on many days commanding more TV time and newsprint than the rest of the candidates for the presidency combined. The would-be leader of the free world has not spent a day, not an hour, on public service The Celebrity Apprentice statesman has not served a political apprenticeship of any kind.
They love him for it. Cleansed by wealth and fame, he has not been besmirched by active politics.
It’s still unlikely, but no longer inconceivable, that he will be president. Nate Silver of Fivethirtyeight, the man who generally calls it right on how elections go, is still skeptical that he will win the nomination, but much less so. He writes that “things are lining up better for Drumpf than I would have imagined… it’s not his continued presence in the race that surprises me so much as the lack of a concerted effort to stop him.” The trouble is, the people who would stop him are the Republican establishment. Politicianssss… hiss!

You know what? If it’s going to be the end of the world - fuck it. Give me a bottle of Jack and some ice… and this song:

But seriously – The Jim Bakker Show:

[font size="8"]Bill Donahue[/font]

So we can all agree that the “Catholic League” is essentially just one really angry and insanely homophobic guy with a fax machine right? Well Bill Donahue has recently attracted a lot of unwanted media attention over his comments on Pope Francis (Ed Note: I know it’s Newsmax but I couldn’t find anything else. So sue me! ) . But now he’s starting another feud and it’s a guy who (1) you do not want to screw with, and (2) does not take shit from anybody over his sexual orientation. I’m of course talking about Dan Savage who’s the executive producer of the new ABC comedy “The Real O’Neals”. Because it features – wait for it – a gay character! The horror!

You know how crazy, crackpot, Bible-thumping conservatives love to jump down the throat of a network about a show that has yet to premiere because of its perceived attacks on their cherished morals and values that they only use to apply to themselves and not to the world at large? Well, it's happening again: the Catholic League is facing off against Disney/ABC over its new LGBT-themed sitcom The Real O'Neals, which premieres this week.

The show, based in part on executive producer Dan Savage's life, follows a Catholic Irish-American family with a gay son, played by newcomer Noah Galvin. But Savage's track record—this is the man that gave us the gift of the Santorum, after all—didn't sit well with the Catholic League, so they came out swinging.

And how did the Catholic League launch its strike on the as-yet aired show? Why, with the time-tested, always successful and completely still relevant medium of print. The Catholic League took out a full-page ad in The New York Times denouncing The Real O'Neals, Dan Savage and his "maniacal hatred of Catholicism."

Well, they tried to take out a full-age ad, but it was "turned down" by The Times because the "obscenities" that they quoted from Savage were "deemed too incendiary" for readers—"even with the use of asteriks in place of letters." That italicized emphasis is all theirs. Though the only thing the NYT deprived us of was the chance to fill in the blanks, à la Wheel of Fortune. One guess what's missing from "************* Power-Hungry, Self-Aggrandized Bigot."

The Catholic League argues, with no trace of irony or...sanity, that Dan Savage producing a show about a Catholic Irish-American family is akin to former KKK leader and Donald Drumpf bestie David Duke producing a show about African-Americans. Actually, it's worse, because Savage is a potty mouth, while Duke is just a raging white supremacist. So he gets a pass because his hatred is family friendly.


Ah, family friendly hatred! Exactly what networks like ABC try to promote! But when I heard the news about how “The Real O’Neals” did in the ratings how does that fare with the Catholic One Man Army’s protest? Well…

In advance of its regular-timeslot premiere next Tuesday, ABC’s new family comedy “The Real O’Neals” generated solid sampling with its two special preview episodes on Wednesday, a night won by CBS as “Survivor” shot up without “American Idol” competition.
According to preliminary national estimates from Nielsen, ABC opened the night with a special 8 p.m. episode of “The Goldbergs” (2.0 rating/7 share in adults 18-49, 7.0 million viewers overall) and the first of two “Real O’Neal” episodes (1.8/6 in 18-49, 6.3 million viewers overall), with the shows combining for the same average of last week when both “The Middle” and “Goldbergs” delivered a 1.9 in their regular timeslots; they placed second to “Survivor” in most categories. “Goldbergs,” featuring a tribute to “Dirty Dancing,” was up 18% (0.2) week to week in 18-34 (1.3 vs. 1.1) and drew its largest overall audience since mid-November.

Boom! Drop the mic! Suck it Donahue! Oh where’s Nelson when you need him?

[font size="8"]Marco Rubio[/font]

We need the Sad Hulk music for this one again, can we get that please?

It looks like another one might be biting the dust soon. I’m of course talking about Marco Rubio’s campaign. Which is hanging on by a thread. He was… maybe the most sane candidate running for the GOP this year (?). But now it looks like he might be running on fumes. Let’s compare two rallies. Here’s one from Bernie Sanders and the size of the crowds that he’s attracting. Reminds me of when Obama was first running – the differences between him and John McCain. Bernie’s rallys are overflowing out into the streets, even 100,000+ seat venues like the Los Angeles Coliseum can’t hold everyone wanting to hear Bernie. Here’s what that looks like:

And here’s Marco Rubio’s:

Yup. He’s playing to a nearly empty stadium.
Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) drew a “disappointing” crowd for an event in his home state Wednesday night just days before a critical primary in the state, CNN reported.
CNN’s Jason Carroll, who was on the ground in Hialeah, Florida, called the crowd “much, much smaller” than at Rubio’s past events and said the “couple hundred” supporters gathered were “not even filling the end zone” of the high school football stadium.
“This is Marco Rubio's home turf,” Carroll reminded viewers.

[font size="8"]Free Floating Idiocy[/font]

So this was a week where normally I save the craziest, most fucked up thing I can find for the 10th spot on this list each week. But there really wasn’t anything. The Louisville scandal is one of the craziest things ever and we went into great detail about that. I love talking about it because it’s one of the most batshit crazy things I’ve ever heard. It’s like Kanye West giving himself album of the year without anyone having actually heard it. So where does one go from there? You can’t really. I tried to also find humor in the Hulk Hogan – Gawker sex tape trial, but that was more depressing than crazy (though Gawker is fucking evil in this case). But we may talk about that in a future edition because it may have some serious implications on free speech if it goes all the way to SCOTUS and we may go into great detail on that in a future edition. So for the 10th spot, there’s a famous George Carlin bit in his 1992 special “Back In Town” where he couldn’t find an ending so he just talked about random bullshit for 25 minutes. We won’t go into that length but for the last entry we will free form and just talk about random idiots. And like the George Carlin bit, I won’t post the full stories, just a few snippets so I can get as many in as possible. The idea of this is that these are stories where there's not enough to make it a full entry, but enough that it deserves a mention. Or as George Carlin would say, a lot of really fucking stupid people. Here’s the bit in question:

First up is a Twitter fail regarding Hillary Clinton's stance on health care and Bernie Sanders:

Next Donald Drumpf Jr. gets his ass handed to him by jazz funk king John Legend and retweets a white supremacist:

Wait a minute – the guy who calls himself “Redneck Hillbilly” is saying that the great John Legend lacks education? Fail.
After that we head to SXSW (South By Southwest) where an online harassment seminar is getting death threats, which only proves the point that the point made by the organizers of the seminar, which aims to stop online bullying:
Extra security guarded the door at the day-long online harassment summit that began Saturday at Austin’s SXSW tech festival.
It’s for a good reason: threats of violence often accompany those who speak about the online hate mob Gamergate and its impact on women and minorities in the video game community. Those threats led the SXSW organizer Hugh Forrest, citing “threats of on-site violence”, to plan to shut down this Gamergate discussion session. After public outcry, organizers relaunched it as a full-day program.

While on the subject of extreme racism, remember that guy who named his kid Adolf Hitler? Well he's back for getting arrested for – wait for it – assault!
HOLLAND TWP. — Local police are reporting the arrest of Heath Campbell in Shippensburg, Pa., on Thursday ... Campbell and his family drew national media attention in December 2008 when they tried to have a cake inscribed with "Happy Birthday Adolf Hitler," for their son, named Adolf Hitler Campbell. The store refused.

Next - Joe’s Crab Shack is under fire for a racist image that appeared in a Minneapolis franchise – you know, that discount Red Lobster where shrimp and crab are served in the same buckets your $8 bottles of Corona and Budweiser are also served in:
Allen said she could not believe the image was used so casually.
"Seeing a picture of two black men being lynched was the last thing that I expected to see at what was supposed to be a family-friendly restaurant," Allen said.
Nekima Levy-Pounds, President of the Minneapolis NAACP, said the incident "demonstrates that racism is still alive and well in this country."

Yeah I want a nice lynching served with my bucket of jumbo double battered deep fried shrimp thank you very much! See, racism is dead isn’t it? Next up – a KKK rally is being planned at Stone Mountain, Georgia:
School officials near Atlanta are trying to reassure parents their students will be safe at prom, since the big dance is planned at the same park and on the same day as a planned a "pro-white" rally and possible counter-protest. http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/prom-pro-white-rally-set-day-stone-mountain-37575666

Of course if you saw last week’s edition you know exactly how a KKK rally anywhere in the country, no matter what the size, is going to end. But this picture of a similar event literally showcases everything wrong with America in one image:

Next – Michigan, where hammer wielding wannabe patriots attacked the Arab American News office – once again proving racism isn’t dead :
Two men allegedly tried to smash their way into the offices of the Arab American News in Dearborn, Michigan, early this morning, according to a post on the media outlet's website.
At least 11 workers were in the office, working on this week's issue, when "multiple bangs were heard coming from the back of the building," the post says.

What next? Donald Drumpf wants to go to war with Mexico:
‘…On MSNBC on Wednesday, journalist Bob Woodward asked Drumpf, “Would you be willing to go to war to make sure we get the money to pay for this wall?”
“Trust me, Bob, when I rejuvenate our military, Mexico’s not going to be playing with us with war, that I can tell you. Mexico isn’t playing with us with war,” Drumpf responded Wednesday....

What’s he rejuvenating exactly? We have the strongest and most expensive army in the free world – or at least it will still be free if we don’t elect Drumpf in November. What next? Here’s a Yahoo columnist challenging the Duck Dynasty clan to vote Hillary in November:
But there’s another side to the story. Hunting folk are also dedicated conservationists and defenders of public land, which puts them in direct opposition to their Republican brethren. The reality is you can’t hunt without public land to track or animals to stalk — and it’s the Dems who have the better record on conservation and environmental issues. Hunters are told it’s either red or blue. Guns or land.
But what if America’s camo-shaded gunslingers, already standing on fissured political ground, took a full-on leap into the ideological abyss? Willie Robertson and the rest of the Duck Dynasty family, I dare you: Vote for Hillary.

Yes guns are good. Vote………….. Hillary? Considering that bizarre ad they did for Ted Cruz a while back I don’t think you’ll be able to persuade them. Hell I don’t think even Jules Winnfield could:

While on the subject of guns and insane land owners, let’s talk about the Bundy Bunch – who are refusing to recognize FBI authority in Nevada:
LAS VEGAS (AP) — Jailed Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy refused Thursday to acknowledge federal authority and declined to enter a plea to federal charges that he led an armed standoff against a round-up of cattle two years ago.
After several minutes of confusion about whether Bundy had a lawyer, U.S. Magistrate Judge Carl Hoffman entered a not guilty plea on Bundy's behalf and scheduled a detention hearing March 17.

I figured it out – Cliven Bundy is this early character on South Park:

Finally – we will end with Chuck Norris withdrawing his support for Ted Cruz’s campaign:
Looks like Keep the Promise PAC can’t keep its promise of a Chuck Norris appearance at a rally for Texas Republican Sen. Ted Cruz this weekend.
According to the pro-Cruz PAC, Norris, 75, was to attend a rally along with the GOP presidential hopeful, radio host Glenn Beck and Lt. Gen. Jerry Boykin at an “American rally” in Concord, North Carolina. However, as rumors of a Norris endorsement of Cruz swirled, the “Walker, Texas Ranger” star apparently backed out of the event. ...

Or…………… did Ted Cruz’s support withdraw itself from Chuck Norris?

Phew!!! And that is how you do some free floating idiocy my friends! Drop the mic!

See you next week!
March 7, 2016

Amazon Removes Encryption From Fire Tablets

While Apple is in the public’s attention right now for fighting against the U.S. government to keep its devices encrypted, Amazon seems to have gone the opposite direction and removed the local storage encryption feature from all of its devices, including the Kindle e-readers, Fire Phone, Fire Tablets, and Fire TV devices.

Amazon’s devices have supported encryption for a while, but starting with Fire OS 5, encryption is not even an option anymore. Therefore, if Amazon devices customers have the encryption enabled when they receive the Fire OS 5 update, it won’t allow the installation to go through until users remove the encryption from their devices. You will instead be greeted with this message:

“Your device has encrypted data. However, device encryption is no longer supported in Fire OS 5. Follow the steps outlined below to save your data.”

This comes at a time when Apple is engaged in multiple lawsuits throughout the country to have the right to use strong encryption and security for the benefit of its users and the right not have to compromise everyone’s security at the behest of the government.

On one of its customer service pages, Amazon is still telling its customers how to enable encryption on their devices. The information is now obviously obsolete, but it shows that not too long ago, the company was indeed encouraging its customers to enable encryption to protect the data on their devices.


Yup - while Apple is fighting to keep encryption on its' devices, Amazon simply doesn't give a shit. Way to alienate your customers there.
March 7, 2016

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #18: The KKK Took My OC Away Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #18: The KKK Took My OC Away Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! You’re entitled – to a 40% discount of goods for using TTCI shipping when you check out using promo code TTCISHIPPING. As to what store, that uses this promo code, that remains a mystery. Yay, spring training starts this week! Finally – it’s been a long, long, ridiculously long four months without it. So yeah it’s good to be back! I might be driving to Arizona for a weekend to catch some games but am clearly undecided at the moment. But first we got to talk about the hilarious PR stunt that one of my all time favorite bands, the Foo Fighters posted that nearly broke Twitter, and the end result was absolutely hilarious:

So we’re going to talk about the KKK for this edition. I don’t want to talk about the KKK, but when they’re on my home turf and it’s a clusterfuck of this magnitude, they leave me absolutely no choice, damn it! Believe me it’s going to go down. With that in mind, the top two spots are easily going to be the Orange County KKK (1, 2) for last week’s rally and it was a shit storm. It had everything - the perfect combo of protestors, counter protestors, and of course police stupidity. But they weren’t the only white supremacists this week who made the news – James Edwards (3) who is a white supremacist who was caught broadcasting in Donald Drumpf’s rallies. At number 4 is former KKK Grand Wizard David Duke because, well, he’s insane. Capping off the white supremacy talk at number 5 of course is Der Drumpfenfuror (5). This week the debate was a shit show – in one corner you have Ted Cruz eating his own snot, and in the other corner you have Drumpf and Marco Rubio in a literal penis measuring contest. We wonder why the rest of the world is laughing at us. Taking the number 6 seed, switching subjects, the GOP is great at getting people to vote against their best interests, and none is doing it better than Ted Cruz (6). Plus, wait until you get a load of what happened during the last debate. While on the subject of baseball, conservative columnist Phyllis Schafly (7) is treading dangerously on Gran Torino “Get off my lawn” territory when it comes to baseball. In the number 8 seed, we're going to take a look at a California rehab center (8) that might be the first corporation to ever be put on trial for murder. At number 9, is the triumphant return of the Bundy Bunch (9)… sort of. The indictments are coming fast and fierce and we’ll break it down for you. And finally because I save the 10th spot for the craziest thing I can find this week and because March Madness is a mere 2 weeks away, we're going to take a look at a batshit crazy scandal that has rocked the Louisville Cardinals (10) to its' very core and got them self banned from NCAA tournament participation. Or did it? Enjoy! And as always don't forget the key!

[font size="8"]The Orange County KKK[/font]

We need some appropriate music for these first two entries. Can we get that please?

Thank you Ramones!

So… the Klan in otherwise blue Southern California is a thing that exists (though Orange County, especially North Orange County is about as bright red as it gets… ugh). And for me it’s about as close to home as it gets. And last week word spread far and wide that the KKK were planning a rally at Pearson Park in Anaheim.
A small group of self-described Ku Klux Klan members have planned a rally in Anaheim on Saturday, drawing the ire of some residents, who have planned a counterprotest.
As many as 20 people representing the hate group are expected to descend on Pearson Park around 10 a.m. Saturday, according to Sgt. Daron Wyatt, an Anaheim police spokesman.
A man claiming to be part of the rally notified Anaheim police of the event after the group learned that some people had planned a counterprotest, Wyatt said. It was not immediately clear what prompted the rally, though Wyatt said the group told police the theme of the event may be that “white lives matter too.”

White lives matter… shut up! It’s not like you see Justin Beiber, Michael Flatley, and Kenny G threatening to walk out of the Oscars because of its’ treatment of white people. It’s not like white people are being incarcerated in mass numbers and being gunned down by asshole cops and wannabe asshole cops every day? Shut up!!!

And this is how it ends:
ANAHEIM – Five of 12 people arrested after a clash between Ku Klux Klan members and counterprotesters Saturday at Pearson Park were released Sunday after police determined that they were acting in self-defense against counterprotesters.
“This regrettable incident was the result of approximately 10-20 individuals who came to the park with the intent of perpetrating violence,” Anaheim police said Sunday night.
“Of those arrested, only one is a resident of Anaheim. The remainder came from other cities and counties to insert themselves into the situation. Regardless of an individual or groups’ beliefs or ideologies, they are entitled to live without the fear of physical violence and have the right, under the law, to defend themselves when attacked.”
A Cal State San Bernardino professor who was there to do research found himself in the middle of the melee.

Yeah that’s how the KKK rolls – with stabbings and arrests! But wait – read that last sentence again: “A Cal State San Bernardino professor who was there to do research found himself in the middle of the melee.” So one of the counter proterstors was just an innocent Cal State San Bernardino professor researching hate groups in California who wanted to research this epic fail of a non protest which could have ended peacefully. But there’s more:
All that stood between two members of the Ku Klux Klan and angry counterprotesters swinging wooden planks was Brian Levin and his iPhone, capturing it all on video.
“Don’t hurt him, sir! Don’t hurt him, sir!” pleaded Levin, the professor who unexpectedly found himself protecting the safety and civil rights of two Klansmen.
“Get away! Get away from this gentleman!”
Levin, director of CSUSB’s Center for the Study of Hate & Extremism, went to the park on Saturday to conduct research; he’d hoped to ask rallying Klansmen whom they support for president, among other questions.
Instead, he said Sunday, he spent three “surreal” minutes caught up in a burst of violence. Three counterprotesters were stabbed. Two of the Klansmen were stomped while they were on the ground. Both were hospitalized, and one was released.

What the whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat????
There’s literally five people in the Orange County KKK. Five. And yet they attracted this kind of attention and national coverage. I bet Cartman is loving this right now.

[font size="8"]The Orange County KKK[/font]

No, sorry Cartman. No race war. The next time your conservative friends make fun of the Black Lives Matter movement please show them this story and tell them “no!”. Because… really… they are wrong. And no. Because while this entire thing ended extremely poorly it’s not over yet. So why am I bringing up Black Lives Matter? Excellent question sir / madam! Because if this rally had gone the other way, we probably would be having a much different discussion right now – after the brew ha ha went down in Pearson Park, this happened:
All five members of the Ku Klux Klan arrested for their involvement in the Pearson Park melee on Saturday are now walking free. Charles Donner, the only Klansmen held over the weekend, got released yesterday even though he stood accused of stabbing three counter-protesters, spilling their blood all over the sidewalk. "The release was based on the video evidence and statements that present convincing evidence of self-defense," Anaheim police spokesman Sgt. Daron Wyatt tells the Weekly.
"Regardless of an individual or groups’ beliefs or ideologies, they are entitled to live without the fear of physical violence and have the right, under the law, to defend themselves when attacked," the police statement says of the Klan's right to rally. Sensitive to criticisms it botched the well-publicized rally, the department defended its response to the melee saying several marked patrol cars arrived to the scene nearly two minutes after the first report of violence.
In the meantime, community and faith-based leaders are planning a peace walk at 6 p.m. today from Pearson Park to Anaheim City Hall to denounce the Klan's message of hate and violence. They vow to disallow Saturday's melee to define Anaheim or Orange County.

Now let’s go back and revisit some history of the Orange County KKK. Last year in nearby Fullerton, just up the road from Pearson Park, the group attempted this stunt which quickly attracted the attention of the local police:
The Ku Klux Klan is back to delivering a bitter message with a sweet confection.
In January, on the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday, the KKK left fliers promoting the white supremacist organization around a Santa Ana neighborhood. Each flier was tucked in a plastic bag along with a rock and candy.
Now, Fullerton police are investigating KKK fliers, also packaged with candy, found in two neighborhoods on Sunday.

YES!!!!!!!!!! Candy! That’s what a hardcore racist group needs to attract members – let’s give local residents flyers with candy and a rock attached to them. Because… sugar and destruction. Yes what the KKK did was wrong. Well the KKK are wrong in general. But that’s beside the point and not why I’m doing this this week. So here’s how the demonstration went in Anaheim the next few days later:
ANAHEIM – More than 300 people gathered peacefully Monday night in Pearson Park, the scene two days earlier of a bloody confrontation between the Ku Klux Klan and counterprotesters.
They denounced the KKK as racist and said the organization has no place in Anaheim, dubbed by the mayor the “City of Kindness.”
“Fascists and hatemongers, we say go away,” Rabbi Jonathan Klein, executive director of Los Angeles-based Clergy and Laity United for Economic Justice, told the enthusiastic crowd. “Hate has no place in this community.”

See? It’s entirely possibly to hold peaceful demonstrations without resorting to violence! But let’s not overlook this one very interesting tidbit about one of the stabbing victims in this shindig:
Lost in the chaos of yesterday's free-for-all at Anaheim's Pearson Park, where a group of protesters beat up Ku Klux Klan members only to get stabbed by them, was one fascinating story: a Jew was all that stood between the Klan and an even-worse beatdown for them.
Brian Levin is director of the Center for the Study of Hate and Extremism at Cal State San Bernardino, and a mensch we profiled in 2009. He was there at the protest because he's been tracking the Loyal White Knights of the Ku Klux Klan (which organized the event) for years, especially as their activity has increased in Orange County. Levin had just returned from grabbing some tacos when he noticed a "phalanx" of anti-racist activist rushing toward an SUV. The professor ran over there, where he found a smashed back window, and two Klansmen getting the living shit beat out of them.

That dude definitely has more balls than you or I ever will. A Jewish man taking a knife to the abdomen for the KKK and then living to tell about it? Now I have seen everything!

Wait – I've got an award we can give him – Stephen Colbert's “Brass Balls” Award:

You sir, have giant cojones.

[font size="8"]James Edwards[/font]

So The OC ("Don't call it that" - Michael Bluth) was not just the only place where white supremacism reared its’ ugly head this week. It’s pretty well known that former KKK Grand Wizard David Duke isn’t hiding his feelings about a Donald Drumpf presidency. But he’s not the only white supremacist in the country who is in love with Der Drumpfenfuror. Drumpf took seven states on Super Tuesday and that is frightening. Especially when something like this happens inside a Drumpf rally:
James Edwards, a notorious white supremacist and radio talk show host, is promoting a recent interview with the son of Republican presidential front-runner Donald Drumpf that'll air on Saturday.
Edwards talked to the real estate mogul's eldest son and campaign surrogate, Donald Drumpf, Jr., last Saturday for his "pro-white" radio show, "The Political Cesspool." Previous guests on the show have included Neo-Nazis, Holocaust deniers, and Ku Klux Klan leaders.
Edwards heralded the 20-minute interview in a blog post flagged by Little Green Footballs, that boasted about his access inside a Drumpf rally in Memphis, Tennessee, last Saturday, where Edwards was broadcasting his show live. He said Drumpf's campaign gave Edwards and his co-hosts full press credentials and "VIP" parking near the event.
"We're watching history in the making," Edwards said at the start of his three-hour broadcast from the press area of the Memphis Drumpf rally. "Donald Drumpf will be the first Republican nominee that I have ever voted for."

Yes, the Huffington Post. Come for the hard hitting political journalism, stay for articles about giant sculptures of ice penises. But I kid, I kid. But that whole thing is long and worth reading as well as the article below, because it contains some interesting tidbits about what James Edwards has said like:


[font size="8"]David Duke[/font]

As I said in the previous edition, white supremacists aren't even trying to hide their love and support for Der Drumpfenfuror's campaign. So far that they've even gone out of their way to get caught live blogging Drumpf events. But guess what? Despite that David Duke is now in the spotlight because of his support for Donald Drumpf, who is going very far out of his way to deny that this exists, this happened:


David Duke on Monday reiterated his support for the presidential campaign of real estate developer Donald Drumpf.

The former Louisiana state representative and one-time Ku Klux Klan leader told listeners on his radio show that "it's very, very important that wins this election, both for the Republican nomination, and it's important for him to win the presidency of the United States.”

Voting for Drumpf, Duke said, "is the best thing we can do” to prevent the spread of “mass immigration” and the conspiracy of "international bankers,” a term white supremacists use to refer to Jewish people. Right Wing Watch first reported on the comments.

Drumpf has come under fire in recent days for his reluctance to condemn Duke and the white supremacist movement during a Sunday talk show appearance. Asked whether he would disavow his support from Duke and the Ku Klux Klan, Drumpf played dumb, telling CNN, "You wouldn't want me to condemn a group that I know nothing about. ... I will do research on them and certainly I would disavow if I thought there was something wrong."

OK David Duke, we get it, you’re a racist scumbag, OK? But he really hates Bernie Sanders, and how could you hate Bernie??? He’s the anti-Drumpf!

On his radio show yesterday, white nationalist and former Ku Klux Klan grand wizard David Duke reiterated his support for Donald Drumpf, who, in a recent CNN interview, refused to disavow him and other white supremacists who have come out in support of his presidential campaign.
We must understand that we are now in a struggle for the survival of European mankind. We must never mince our words about that. We are going down in numbers, all over the world. Mass immigration is going to completely remake our countries, our politics, our values, our religious beliefs, everything in which we identify with; everything and every value we have and the most critical issue facing the United States of America is whether or not we are going to remain an overwhelmingly European nation with the values of western Christian civilization or whether we’re going to become some sort of Third World nation and whether or not we’re going to be continued to be robbed and exploited and oppressed by the ultimate ethnic supremacists, of course, we’re talking about the Zionists and the Jewish tribal extremists.

That doesn’t mean every Jew, and I’m not attacking every Jewish person, at all. And there are some Jews like Gilad Atzmon that actually speaks against Jewish tribalism. But those are the rulers. It’s obvious now to everybody. The top seven Super PACs of Hillary Clinton are all Jewish Zionists. No wonder she’s always supported these insane wars for Israel in the Middle East orchestrated by neocons for the interests of Israel rather than America. We have the same thing going on with the Republican Party today. The only person who has stepped out of that agenda has been Donald Drumpf.
Duke added that a vote for Drumpf is “the best thing we can do” to fight “mass immigration” and “the international bankers,” telling listeners that “it’s very, very important that he wins this election for both the Republican nomination – and I think it’s important for him to win the presidency of the United States.”

- See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/david-duke-donald-Drumpf-will-save-america-jewish-supremacists?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link#sthash.puaKVqzl.dpuf

See, hardcore racist pieces of shit like David Duke only have a one track mind when it comes to our presidential candidates. But let's point out this sentence here: “That doesn’t mean every Jew, and I’m not attacking every Jewish person, at all.” Yes, you did asshole! You just did literally two sentences ago! Shut the fuck up! You’re just as bad as those KKK assholes in Anaheim!

[font size="8"]Donald Drumpf[/font]

No your eyes are not deceiving you! That was an actual unedited screen capture of the GOP debate from last week. Even the people doing the closed captioning on the fued between Marco Rubio and Der Drumpfenfuror gave up! This is too damn good!

So this happened:

Republican front-runner Donald Drumpf appeared to brag about his penis size during the GOP debate Thursday night. After the moderators asked Florida Sen. Marco Rubio about his attacks on Drumpf, the New York businessman responded by saying that he took issue with Rubio’s criticism of his hand size.
“I also have called him a lightweight ... and I have to take that back,” Drumpf said.
He added that Rubio “hit me on my hands,” referring to Rubio’s criticism that Drumpf was a “short-fingered vulgarian.”
Drumpf held up his hands and said, “Look at my hands. Are they small?” He then said Rubio implied if his hands were small, “then something else must be small. I guarantee you there’s no problem,” Drumpf said.

Yes that’s Donald Drumpf bragging about the size of his penis to Marco Rubio. Excuse me a minute, I need to go take a cold shower after reading that.

And here’s where a Drumpf supporter got caught assaulting a black woman at a Drumpf rally:

Louisville police added to the mess the Drumpf supporters got themselves into by announcing they’re looking at filing criminal charges against several people. There has been some speculation that Drumpf himself may be facing charges as a ringleader, but that is unconfirmed at this time. What we do know is that a woman was treated with the utmost of disrespect, was physically and verbally assaulted and quite possibly had her civil rights violated for no reason other than the color of her skin.

It’s a common scene at these things. Protesters stand as quietly as they can and are eventually discovered and removed with extreme prejudice. Drumpf security personnel, local police and tens of thousands of unruly thugs in red hats solves those issues while Drumpf stands on stage scanning for the next people to have booted out. It’s nothing but a reality TV hook.

More: http://www.addictinginfo.org/2016/03/03/angry-patriot-who-assaulted-a-black-woman-at-a-Drumpf-rally-finds-out-it-ruined-his-lifeimages/

Sorry Mr. Pryor but we live in the age of the social media outrage machine! There’s nothing you can do to “take it back”. Cue the world’s tiniest violin:

So here is where Florida proved that Donald Trump might be taking things in a very Nazi-esque direction:

Washington (CNN)Donald Trump on Saturday led a mass rally in taking a pledge affirming their commitment to voting for him, and vowed to broaden existing laws regarding the interrogation of captured terrorist suspects.
The scene unfolded during a raucous rally at a University of Central Florida arena in Orlando, Florida, that featured frequent interruptions by protesters over Trump's hour-long address.
"Let's do a pledge. Who likes me in this room?" Trump asked the crowd. "I've never done this before. Can I have a pledge? A swearing? Raise your right hand."
The Republican front-runner then had the audience repeat after him.

And here's Drumpf supporters doing a Nazi salute:

And in case you needed any further proof, here's Drumpf's former wife Ivana talking about how her former husband kept a book of Hitler's speeches by his bedside. So even Drumpf acknowledges that he will strengethen and broaden torture laws. But even GOP governors are terrified at the prospect of a Drumpf presidency.

Politico: “Top Republicans — including governors who convened an emergency conference call on Monday on which Drumpf was Topic A — expect the real estate mogul to carry as many as 10 states on Tuesday night, an outcome that would deal a body blow to Sen. Ted Cruz, who has staked his campaign heavily on the Southern states holding nominating contests, and to Sen. Marco Rubio, who has yet to win a primary and isn’t expected to do so on Tuesday.”

“Drumpf’s march to the nomination has set off a wave of anxiety across the Republican Party establishment as top officials weigh whether to endorse him — or denounce him as anathema to the party’s values. Reflecting that angst, on Monday morning, New Mexico Gov. Susana Martinez and Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker, the heads of the Republican Governors Association, convened fellow governors for an unusual conference call to discuss how the primary was unfolding — and Drumpf was a central topic of conversation.”

Read more: https://politicalwire.com/2016/02/29/gop-governors-hold-emergency-call-to-discuss-Drumpf/

Even the GOP governors are terrified at the prospect of a Donald Drumpf presidency. And then while that was going on, and James Edwards was caught dishing out a good old fashioned dose of American white supremacy at Drumpf rallies, even more Drumpf supporters got caught doing something racist:

A man making national headlines for shoving a black woman out of a Donald Drumpf rally in Louisville, Ky., Tuesday is the same man who organized a white nationalist conference in Harrisburg last month.

Matthew Heimbach made national news after a video of him pushing the Drumpf protester and shouting "leftist scum" at her went viral on social media.

The New York Daily News identified Heimbach, 24, in the video. And Heimbach, founder of the Traditionalist Youth Network, which the Southern Poverty Law Center deems a white nationalist group, has since admitted in a blog that he was one of the men shown pushing the woman.


It’s getting scary out there. I mean really scary. But Drumpf was the subject of intense scrutiny from another failed GOP candidate and that’s Mitt Romney. By the way batshit crazy Arizona governor Jan Brewer said that Romney’s speech was the GOP eating itself. By the way we’ll let you judge for yourself:

[font size="8"]Ted Cruz[/font]

First off, wait until you see what Ted Cruz may or may not have done during the last debate. A word of warning before playing this video – we here at TTCI are not responsible for lost stomach contents while watching this.

On these lists, I have bragged heavily about my love of the NBC comedy 30 Rock. This next entry reminds me of the episode of 30 Rock where Tracy stages a protest against NBC for its’ treatment of idiots. At the end of the two part episode, Tina Fey is screaming about how all the people protesting against the network don’t know what they’re protesting because they’re idiots, and people will vote against their best interests like free health care. Well… when it comes to transgender issues, I don’t think Caitlyn Jenner has the best interests of the trans community in mind.

Caitlyn Jenner's conservative politics continue to create controversy in the transgender community.

When asked who she supports for president, the lifelong Republican told The Advocate in an interview Wednesday, "I like Ted Cruz."

"I think he's very conservative, and a great constitutionalist, and a very articulate man," she explained. "I haven't endorsed him or anything like that. But I also think, he's an evangelical Christian, and probably one of the worst ones when it comes to trans issues."

During a radio interview in November, Cruz called the movement for gender-open bathrooms in schools "lunacy."

The reality star acknowledged her stance can seem like a contradiction given last year's transition from male to female and her work highlighting trans issues on her docuseries I Am Cait.

"I get it. The Democrats are better when it comes to these types of social issues. I understand that," she said, but countered, "Number one, if we don't have a country, we don't have trans issues. We need jobs. We need a vibrant economy. I want every trans person to have a job. With $19 trillion in debt and it keeps going up, we're spending money we don't have. Eventually, it's going to end. And I don't want to see that. Socialism did not build this country. Capitalism did. Free enterprise. The people built it. And they need to be given the opportunity to build it back up."

What the whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat???? Excuse me???? Sorry there Ms. Jenner, but did you not see this part of the article? “During a radio interview in November, Cruz called the movement for gender-open bathrooms in schools "lunacy."” Yeah, somehow I don’t think that’s happening by the way.

But this story – while not directly giving away Ted Cruz’s exact feelings on trans issues despite what was said in the article – is a pretty damn good indicator of how he feels about LGBT rights issues in general:
Tonight’s primary results have been a mixed bag for Ted Cruz, presidential candidate and corpse recently fished out of a swimming pool. But that won’t stop his campaign from partying at the “Redneck Country Club,” a Texas venue owned by an astoundingly racist radio host.


This may or may not shock you, but the Redneck Country Club is owned by an extreme, open racist by the name of Michael Berry, who hosts a racist radio program that includes a blackface “comedian” named “Dr. Rev. Shirley Q Liquor,” who provides a routine of vile black stereotypes for Berry’s white listeners

Yup – that’s how Teddy rolls! With a deranged crowd of racists and extreme right wing mysoginists. Maybe Cait would be wise to stay away from this crowd.

The Trans Ambassadors by the way, I saw them at the Troubadour last week – pretty awesome band.

[font size="8"]Phyllis Schafly[/font]

Baseball. That thing that happens in the months between when the Super Bowl ends and the NFL training camps begin. But while our nation’s pastime returns, well, haters gotta hate. And players got to play. I know, shake it off. There’s my Taylor Swift reference for you. Well… some people just won’t have any of it. I mean who doesn’t love the nation’s past time? Am I right? Well there’s Phyllis Schafly, who this week wrote a column explaining this:
When I was growing up, my favorite sport was baseball. One of my most exciting memories was attending the World Series in 1944 between the St. Louis Cardinals and the St. Louis Browns. Baseball is a wonderful activity for boys and young men. It helps develop mental discipline, patience and obeying rules. A lower percentage of professional baseball players have post-career troubles compared with football and basketball players, and baseball is a safer sport, too.
The best baseball players today are American-born. All six of the six recipients of the top awards this past season are native born American, but more than a quarter of Major League Baseball players are foreign-born, with whom our youth are less likely to identify. Some of these players cannot speak English and they did not rise through the ranks of Little League. These foreign-born players enter on visas and take positions that should go to American players. Fewer than four percent of the Baseball Hall of Fame is foreign-born, yet 27 percent of today's players are foreign-born.
This foreign influx into our National Pastime may help explain why our youth is abandoning baseball. Youth who play baseball have declined by more than 40 percent since 2000, and some communities where baseball was once booming now struggle to fill their teams. Television ratings for World Series games are less than half what they were three decades ago.
- See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/phyllis-schlafly-ban-foreign-players-major-league-baseball-because-they-take-jobs-ought-go-a#sthash.a8ZlAlwj.c0XCp8XL.dpuf

Yeah it’s because, um………………… baseball is too damn long for a regular season! I’m a baseball fan! I’ve been to the World Series! I think 162 games is too damn long for a regular season! And then you have another 30 games for the post season! By contrast football has 17, basketball and NHL both have 82. Did you ever stop to think about that? Oh let’s blame foreign born players because they’re “cheaper and easier to control”. Cheaper? Have you seen the salaries that guys like the Japanese born Yu Darvish of the Texas Rangers, or the Puerto Rican born Albert Pujols of the LA Angels make? Or how about Yasiel Puig of the Dodgers? All of these guys make several hundreds of millions. And talk about “easier to control”…. Which that Puig guy is far from? Maybe Phyllis should stop trash talking and start watching some games. She sounds like the “They took our jobs” guys from South Park.

[font size="8"]A Better Tomorrow [/font]

Fair warning – I am not going to use this entry to make fun of rehab or addiction, or people who have been seeking treatment for addiction. If you need help, get help. And just to show I’m serious this time around, there won’t be any funny videos, GIFs, or images to accompany this entry, because it’s really fucking serious. Now, with that out of the way, we may have a Top 10 Conservative Idiots first here. And this is one thing where nobody wants to be the first no matter what the circumstances. So what we have here might be the first corporation ever to be tried for first degree murder. This happened:

Gary Benefield was in rough shape when a driver from the substance abuse treatment company A Better Tomorrow met him at the San Diego airport in 2010.
It was the day before his 53rd birthday. The longtime smoker had recently been hospitalized for pneumonia and was tethered to an oxygen tank, which he had relied on for years. He was seeking treatment for a drinking problem and had signed himself up for a round of detox and rehab.
Sometime that night, he collapsed by his bed at a Murrieta residential facility and died. The house manager, who was supposed to check on him regularly, had fallen asleep. Benefield's body was found in the morning.
The family sued, reaching an out-of-court settlement.
What came next sent a jolt through California's large drug and alcohol rehabilitation industry. The state attorney general's office pursued second-degree murder charges against A Better Tomorrow and four of its employees — the first time in California history that a corporation had been accused of murder, according to the facility's attorneys.


But it’s not over. A Better Tomorrow might be the first corporation accused of murder in the United States. Hey! I’m finally seeing an upside to Citizens United. In a country where the incarceration rate is 5 times higher than the next 15 countries combined, why not start locking up some of these criminal corporations! Can they be executed? Let’s continue:

Legal experts say the criminal case against A Better Tomorrow is a warning to California's treatment centers — an industry with more than 1,500 facilities across the state.
The prosecutor has argued that the company, in its drive for profit, accepted a client it was not prepared to care for and killed him by failing to refill his oxygen and allowing employees with little or no medical training to give him drugs that made it harder for him to breathe. Benefield was the fourth person to die after checking into the facility in a little over two years.

Holy. Fuck. That is all I have to say – how could this company – a company that prides itself on care – simply take a patient that it was unable to handle? This is a colossal fuck up on so many levels. But… this particular facility has had not just one, but four… four! FOUR!!!! Four patients die on them! You would think after the first one that criminal charges would be levied against them. Or as George W. Bush said – “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me…. You won’t get fooled again.”. Yes such is the touching words said from former President Bush, and Roger Daltry.
There’s more:
Defense attorneys have asked Kiefer to throw out the charges, accusing the attorney general's office of prosecutorial misconduct and saying Deputy Atty. Gen. Joel Samuels unfairly presented evidence to the grand jury. The prosecutor, they said, failed to call as a witness the coroner who found that Benefield died of natural causes.
“There simply was no homicide here,” attorney Benjamin Gluck told the court.
Kelly Strader, a professor at Southwestern Law School, said the attorney general's office may have filed the charges as a warning to treatment facilities “that you'd better clean up your act. We're going to take this very seriously.”

While they can’t technically call it a homicide, they can call it a “colossal fuck up”. Which is exactly what this is. But when you take into account the fact that four patients have died while attempting to seek treatment from this facility, you can’t help but wonder exactly who is running things, and what else they’re covering up.
In their investigation into Benefield's death, state licensing officials found the company deficient in 14 areas, including dispensing sample medications to residents, providing medication without a prescription, filling out medication logs in advance and providing medical-related services beyond the scope of its license.

There you have it. We officially live in the Matrix.

[font size="8"]The Bundy Bunch[/font]

Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s the triumphant return of the Bundy Bunch to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Wooooooooooooooooooo! Woooooooooooo. Wooo. Yeah… maybe not so much enthusiasm coming from the audience here. Well, the Bundy Bunch are in prison for various crimes against federal law enforcement for their dildo poop trench freak show they put on at the Malheur Wildlife Sanctuary last month.

A federal indictment accuses renegade Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy, two of his sons and at least five other men from several states of conspiracy, obstruction, assault, threatening federal officers and other charges in a 2014 armed standoff over grazing cattle on U.S. land near Bundy's ranch.

Bundy and seven other people's names appeared unredacted in an indictment obtained Thursday following the arrest of alleged co-conspirator Gerald "Jerry" DeLemus in New Hampshire.

They are Cliven Bundy's sons Ammon Bundy of Arizona and Ryan Bundy of Utah, and supporters Ryan Payne of Montana, Peter Santilli Jr. of California, and Brian Cavalier and Blaine Cooper, both of Arizona.

Wow. Those are some pretty serious charges against the Bundy Bunch. You have conspiracy, obstruction, assault and threatening federal officials. I wonder where the charges are for the massive trench of rancid feces they left behind at Malheur are? Can anybody tell me?
So what does Ammon think of this? Well let’s ask him.

Because…………. He…………….. is……………. One? That’s why he’s being charged and treated like a domestic terrorist? Oh and by the way in case you were wondering, yes, there is a Donald Drumpf official in the mix who got busted by the FBI for violating several firearms charges:
FBI agents arrested Jerry DeLemus, co-chair of Veterans for Drumpf in New Hampshire, on Thursday following his indictment in connection with the 2014 Bundy Ranch standoff in Nevada, the New Hampshire Union Leader reported.
Federal charges against DeLemus included "conspiracy to commit an offense against the United States, threatening a federal law enforcement officer, attempting to impede or injure a federal law enforcement officer and several firearms charges," the newspaper reported.
Susan DeLemus, a state representative and fellow supporter of Donald Drumpf's presidential campaign, confirmed her husband's arrest to the newspaper. Drumpf announced that he was forming Veterans for Drumpf in July and named DeLemus among the co-chairs.
The standoff in Nevada two years ago came after federal officials said Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy allowed his cattle to graze on federal land for decades without paying grazing fees. Bundy invited hundreds of followers, many of them armed, to his ranch to push back against federal officers who were impounding his cattle.

By the way I love the part of the article here where it explains that a Drumpf official who defended Drumpf against Pope Francis’ allegations (see last week) calling him “the anti Christ”. Well when you consider the 5+ pages of cities that are named in the end credits of this year’s Best Picture winner “Spotlight”, where priests were caught abusing alter boys, that might actually be an accurate assumption.

[font size="8"]Rick Pitino[/font]

Finally tonight, in case this edition gets too dark for you, there was a lot of racism, white supremacism, and death. So we’re going to take a look at something much lighter before you get out of here.The March Madness tournament. Where even President Obama has zero chance in hell of making a perfect bracket, so imagine what chance you have of doing the same! So we’re going to go to Kentucky for this insane story. Specifically the Louisville Cardinals. Since the beginning of the 2015 – 2016 season, the Louisville Cardinals have been at the center of one of the most insane scandals ever to hit the NCAA. Specifically this happened:

LOUISVILLE, Ky. -- Five former University of Louisville basketball players and recruits told Outside the Lines that they attended parties at a campus dorm from 2010 to 2014 that included strippers paid for by the team's former graduate assistant coach, Andre McGee.
One of the former players said he had sex with a dancer after McGee paid her. Each of the players and recruits attended different parties at Billy Minardi Hall, where dancers, many of whom stripped naked, were present. Three of the five players said they attended parties as recruits and also when they played for Louisville.
Said one of the recruits, who ultimately signed to play elsewhere: "I knew they weren't college girls. It was crazy. It was like I was in a strip club."

That… sounds innocent enough. I mean doesn’t it? We’re having a party for you on the 6th floor dorm room, room 25A, no RAs, no rules and just about anything goes! Enjoy yourselves, we’ll look the other way. And you have campus insurance in the event of STDs or drug overdoses. We just want a winning basketball team. Just go there, you will be treated to a fucking awesome time! The university’s former head of athletics paid local area strippers to purposefully entice new recruits to sign up for Louisville’s basketball program. It would be even funnier if they used a Groupon. And what kind of service do you go through? Did they have the strippers on a rolodex? That is shockingly, stunningly idiotic. So when one gets caught with their pants down – literally in this case, with raging boners included (the Raging Boners - I also saw them at the Troub, they were also playing with the Trans Amabassadors ) – how does one redeem themselves? Why you self impose a ban from participating in the next couple of rounds of NCAA tournaments!

Louisville has announced a one-year postseason ban for its men's basketball team amid ongoing investigations into a sex scandal in which an escort alleged that a former staffer paid her and other dancers to strip and have sex with recruits and players.
University President James Ramsey said Friday at a news conference that an investigation by the school has revealed that some violations did occur. Ramsey said the ban is for all postseason tournaments, including the NCAA and the Atlantic Coast Conference tournaments.
Ramsey said he received the latest results of the investigation on Thursday, but noted the review of the allegation is continuing.
“We found out yesterday that we had a problem,” said athletic director Tom Jurich, adding that university wanted to deal with the findings as quickly as possible.

That’s right – they purposefully self imposed a ban on participating in this year’s NCAA tournament. The NCAA findings did find that Louisville knowingly participated in some astoundingly stupid recruiting violations. This is something so jaw droppingly stupid that the kindergartener who sits in the corner and eats paste looks smarter than most of the university employees at Louisville. But what does Pitino himself think of his school’s recruiting violations?
While Pitino very much left the door open for retirement or simply a departure from Louisville, he made it clear that he isn't necessarily leaning in that direction:
"I think anything's possible. I doubt it. I don't think it's probable. I just was blindsided, disgusted and saddened by this whole thing. ... I thought we'd be playing for the national title and going to the Final Four this year, and it was a shock that it was taken away."

So the question remains – did he know or did he not know about the campus recruiting violations ahead of time? Well the reason why they self imposed a ban lies in the hands of a guy named Chuck Smrt:

The fourth man at the table with these most influential U of L figures was compliance consultant Chuck Smrt, who was hired in September to conduct an internal inquiry into the claims made in Katina Powell's book and guide the school through the NCAA investigation process.
Who is Chuck Smrt?
"What a guy like Chuck Smrt brings to the table is he knows the dance," said Dave Ridpath, a sports administration professor at Ohio University and an expert on NCAA compliance who has come to know Smrt professionally. "He knows how to protect the institution."

Sure! The guy who spells his name “Smart” without an “a” sounds like a trustworthy fellow! I know what you’re thinking right?

But here’s where it gets really weird. And I mean really weird. As if it wasn’t weird enough already:
Louisville coach Rick Pitino gave his departing transfers some championship-quality bling and a video tribute featuring "One Shining Moment."
Pitino had promised a surprise to honor their contributions in a season that won't include the NCAA tournament appearance they had hoped for. Surviving some tense final moments in Tuesday night's 56-53 victory over Georgia Tech helped make that postgame ceremony especially celebratory for the 11th-ranked Cardinals.
Chinanu Onuaku made two free throws with 30.9 seconds remaining, and Damion Lee added two more with 10.7 left to end the game -- and the home portion of his one-year Cardinals stint -- on a high note.

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s it! Amid one of the most jaw dropping, shockingly stupid sports scandals in recent memory, starring someone who’s not named Ryan Braun (oh stop booing, Brewers fans!), Rick Pitino makes it all better for his departing seniors by giving them championship rings and a fake championship ceremony! There is nothing, I mean nothing can put into words this epic fail of a scandal. I mean they didn’t even play one fucking game in the March Madness tournament, and decided to reward themselves. So with that in mind, I’m going do something unprecedented for our audience here tonight. I’m giving you all… fake championship rings. When people ask you what you did to earn this ring – tell them it doesn’t matter! Use Louisville’s excuse!

That’s right! You get a ring! And you get a ring! And you get a ring! And you get one, and you get one, and you get one! Everybody gets a ring!! And here, I’ll even give you your own net to cut down! Sponsored by Werner Ladders!

By the way yes I’m aware of the irony that photo is from Louisville’s championship run in 2013. I’ll even throw in that bullshit One Shining Moment song:

Just remember – it doesn’t matter what you did to earn this championship, all that matters is that you’re a self imposed champion, and nobody can ever take that away from you!

See you next week!

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