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Top 10 Idiots

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Member since: Wed May 30, 2018, 12:44 PM
Number of posts: 414

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This is the official DU account for the new format Top 10 Conservative Idiots separate from the host account Initech. The new format Top 10 will launch June 13th, 2018 and all posts related to the Top 10 (promos, etc) will be posted from this account only. If you wish to contact the Top 10 you may do so here: E-mail (all questions, concerns, suggestions, and hate mail welcome): Top10ConIdiots@gmail.com Follow the Top 10 on Twitter: @10Idiots A Facebook page will be created shortly. **This account will ONLY be used to post official Idiots editions, promos, and things related to the Top 10. No other posts will come from this account** Top 10 Wiki: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100211322508

Journal Archives

Top 10 Conservative Idiots Best Of #18: Viewer Mailbag #4 Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots Best Of #18: Viewer Mailbag #4 Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Oh… oh hello! I know, right? We’re here tidying up the set and getting things ready for season 11. The world is slowly reopening after the devastation caused by the COVID-19 pandemic. So we’re getting ready to go back out on the road. It’s exciting isn’t it? A little bit of bad news – our season premiere is getting pushed back to July 15th because of the July 4th holiday, but don’t fear! We will still be here! So last week we announced secured dates for our season 11 tour, and we’ll finish it in our Labor Day Best Of Edition. And before we get into this week, when we start building the Top 10 every week, some segments don't make it to the air date. Some get cut, some get scrapped altogether. And that's where this Best Of comes into play. We figured we'd show you some of the abandoned, bumped and unaired segments, and even some new ones made just for these Best Of editions in our long absence! But you know last week was Father’s Day, and I’m sure you had a good one or not. But there’s two drastically different father’s day announcements. You had President Biden’s which was sincere – “Happy Father’s Day to the fathers, stepfathers, grandfathers, and father figures who enrich our character, love us unconditionally, and give so much of themselves every day so we can live lives worthy of their dreams and sacrifices.”. That’s a Father’s Day Announcement. Then contrast it with failed blogger Donald Trump, who had this to say: “Happy Father’s Day to all, including the Radical Left, RINOs, and other Losers of the world!”. Yeah he’s still an asshole. Which is why he’s no longer the president. Loser president says what? OK enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to for our last of 3 Best Of Editions. But first John Oliver is back and he discusses the PACE program:

So in the first slot this week for our last of 3 Best Ofs, we also have some new and also unaired content for you to enjoy! In the number one slot, from Idiots #9-2, remember when Trump (1) tried to hold a sold out rally in the middle of a raging pandemic and how it backfired on him spectacularly? Yeah that was a thing that happened! In the second slot, going all the way back to Idiots #3-4, conservatives (2) often accuse Alt-right boogeyman George Soros of paying protestors, but would you be surprised when Alex Jones and Jack Posobiec got caught doing what they accuse others of? I know I am not! From the #3 slot, from Idiots #5-1, Trump (3) throws a temper tantrum over the Super Bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles taking part in anthem protests, and just disinvites them to the White House. What a colossal, giant baby. In the #4 slot this week, from Idiots #7-7, in one of the scarier and darker corners of the internet, we remember that time when 4chan (4) might have had a hand in the murder of a teenage influencer – then openly taunted and mocked her death. Some incredibly sick and twisted minds at 4chan, they are. In the number 5 slot, from Idiots #8-4, our weekly investigative piece, Top 10 Investigates (5), we remember that time Amazon CEO and future owner of Planet Earth, Jeff Bezos, claimed that he might have been hacked by the Saudis – or was he? In the #6 slot this week, we have an unaired Holy Shit (6) – so Lee Greenwood (yes, that Lee Greenwood) wrote his own version of the Bible that includes the entire US Constitution and the Bill Of Rights! Our resident pastor breaks down this insane abomination! In the #7 slot, we have an unaired Beating A Dead Horse from Idiots #10-14 – Lin Manuel Miranda is known for his ethnically diverse casts, so why is he getting so much shit for his new movie “In The Heights”? Same shit, different day! In the #8 slot this week we have a brand new Conspiracy Corner (8) – why is Texas governor Greg Abbott so hell bent on building a border wall when the rest of America thought it was a dumb idea? Come put on your tin foil hat and find out! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week we have a new People Are Dumb, because of course they are! Finally from Idiots #7-17, we revisit our segment from the campaign trail “Keeping Up With The Candidates” that takes a look at the bizarre feud between Hawaii’s Tulsi Gabbard and Hillary Clinton! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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From: Idiots #9-2

Jessica F. from Liberal, Kansas writes:

“Hey Top 10, how do I explain to my Trump loving friends that there’s no conspiracy as to how he lost the 2020 election?”

That’s a good question! And you can start by telling them the story of how holding a full capacity indoor rally when the entire world is shut down is a stupid-ass idea, and it made him look like an idiot!

Everyone knew that Trump holding an indoor event in the middle of the deadliest pandemic in 100 years was a colossally bad idea. And holding it in Tulsa, Oklahoma – the site of America’s worst race riot, on the day that slavery was ended – was also a bad idea. But allow me to engage in a bit of schadenfreude here. Because, nobody showed up! That’s right – absolutely nobody showed up to this rally. Don’t worry, we will get to that in a bit here. But he can make all the excuses all he wants, the fact of the matter is that COVID still reigns supreme, and until we start reeling in this monster, we can kiss large stadium gatherings like this goodbye. But that didn’t stop his most hardcore fans from showing up.

President Donald Trump is "furious" at the "underwhelming" crowd at his rally in Tulsa, Oklahoma, on Saturday evening, a major disappointment for what had been expected to be a raucous return to the campaign trail after three months off because of the coronavirus pandemic, according to multiple people close to the White House.

The president was fuming at his top political aides Saturday even before the rally began after his campaign revealed that six members of the advance team on the ground in Tulsa had tested positive for COVID-19, including Secret Service personnel, a person familiar with the discussions said.

Trump asked those around him why the information was exposed and expressed annoyance that the coverage ahead of his mega-rally was dominated by the revelation.

While the Trump re-election effort boasted that it would fill BOK Center, which seats more than 19,000 people, only 6,200 supporters ultimately occupied the general admission sections, the Tulsa fire marshal told NBC News.

Ooh boy this one hit Trump where it hurts! Yes, he’s about as mad as an angry, animated Lewis Black with flames shooting out of his head. Of course, anger is the only emotion that Trump knows. Does he know fear? No. Does he know compassion? No. Does he know disgust? No. Does he know Joy? Hell freaking no! Trump wouldn’t know joy if it bit him in his ass! So he’s hopping mad about what happened in Tulsa, and it was glorious. This might be my favorite thing about this whole rally. Can we throw that image up there?

May that image be forever known as the downfall of the Trump administration! And I love all of the Spinal Tap comparisons – Trump might be at that stage.

Plus, the history of Trump campaign managers has an eerie similarity to the history of Spinal Tap drummers. In the 2016 campaign, Lewandowski gave way to Paul Manafort (remember him!) who gave way to Kellyanne Conway. And throughout it all, there were whispers that Kushner or Ivanka (or both) were the real brains behind the operation. Or that Trump himself was effectively managing his own campaign, making all the important calls about what do say and do.

Parscale is, without question then, the most likely target of Trump's anger. But go back to Kaitlan's tweet -- this part in particular: "Anyone, including WH aides, could be fired depending on coverage."

The key -- and revealing -- bit there is "depending on coverage." Trump is seething, yes. But he's also watching cable TV. And taking calls. And making calls. And trying to suss out -- from all of that -- who the collective "they" are blaming for the Tulsa rally debacle. That, as much as his own sense, will determine who gets fired.

Because, again, Trump is all about perception: It's not about whose fault it really is that the crowd over the weekend didn't live up to the hype. (In truth, there's no way it's one person's fault.) It's about who the media, his friends and major party donors blame. That's the person Trump will blame.

Oh god that movie is a classic. I could totally see Trump going down that road. Maybe next he will open up for petting zoos and puppet shows. Assuming we have such activities in the near future. But you can bet there will be some firings and when that happens, get ready for the return of the Trumper Games! I mean this whole year just can’t get any weirder. And Trump’s gone through as many cabinet members as Spinal Tap has drummers. At Trump got him some ratings! Oh, those sweet, sweet ratings!

Now it’s apparent where many of President Donald Trump’s supporters who stayed away from Saturday’s campaign rally in Tulsa, Oklahoma, were instead: they were home watching it on television.

Fox News Channel, which aired Trump’s speech live, had the biggest Saturday night audience in the network’s 24-year history, the Nielsen company said. During Trump’s address at 9 p.m. on Saturday, Fox had 8.2 million people watching.

CNN and MSNBC aired only clips of Trump talking, yet each news network had about twice as many viewers as they normally get on Saturday nights. Collectively, the three networks had nearly 12 million viewers for its Trump coverage, Nielsen said.

For those in Oklahoma, the night’s biggest story was the arena’s empty seats.

In the absence of sports or first-run scripted series, news continues to be the dominant force in television viewing. Fox News Channel’s prime-time average of 3.68 million viewers for the week topped all broadcast and cable networks.

Yeah so there’s no sports, or recreation, or entertainment of any kind during this nightmare known as COVID-19. So Trump is the only game in town! He’s literally the kind of guy who would find a way to broadcast from the Springfield badlands while the entire world was held hostage by a nuclear bomb, and I wouldn’t put that past him. But that’s not stopping him from taking his show on the road!

President Donald Trump is scheduled to visit the Arizona-Mexico border, then hold a rally in Phoenix on Tuesday.

His visit to Arizona comes as the state is experiencing large increases in COVID-19 cases and hospitalizations.

The president recognized two of Arizona's most prominent Republican officials, Gov. Doug Ducey and U.S. Senator Martha McSally.

Ducey was greeted with some "boos" from the crowd.

But Trump complimented Ducey for the work he's done in Arizona and his win at the polls nearly two years ago.

The President said he asked Ducey how Trump was doing in the state, "He said you're doing really well and I said good because he knows better than anybody."

Trump asked the crowd to support McSally in November because she supports the border wall. Plus, Trump said, her opponent Mark Kelly "is very weak on China and other things."

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[font size="8"] Confederate States II: Electric Boogaloo Die Harder
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From: Idiots #3-14

Ian M. from Syracuse, New York writes:

“How long are we going to have to put up with the Alt Right? I mean didn’t they get caught paying people to protest at one point?”

Yup! And none other than the king of conspiracies himself was involved!

So while that gigantic pile of fail known as the Mother Of All Rallies was going on in Washington DC, let’s go west and show you what was happening in Virginia. Can we get a shot of that?

Now just remember kids, let this be a lesson – dress for the job you want, not the job you have! Thank you! Although what job does confederate flag spandex qualify you for? Not too many that I can think of off the top of my head! Well, maybe this one.

Richmond, Virginia is bracing for violence as neo-Confederates target the former capitol of the Confederacy less than one month after Heather Heyer was killed in what many are calling an act of domestic terrorism.

CSAII: The New Confederate States of America is planning an unpermitted “Heritage not Hate” rally to defend Richmond’s Robert E. Lee Monument following the deadly “Unite the Right” rally to defend Charlottesville’s Robert E. Lee statue.

“I hope nobody loses their lives tomorrow, on either side, I really do,” CSA II organizer and Three Percenter militia organizer Tara Brandau told WTVR. “That’s not why we are here.”

Yeah we’re going pessimistic here today at the Top 10. But what happened in Richmond exactly? Oh sure, if you saw Twitter and Facebook, all you would see is the usual bullshit about how George Soros is paying Antifa to silence conservatives. But they really just bring it on themselves. Case in point:

A pro-Confederate rally that put city officials and residents alike on edge in the aftermath of Charlottesville ended without major incident shortly after it began Saturday morning.

About seven people stood for an hour and a half holding Confederate flags and arguing with a crowd of counterprotesters that steadily climbed into the hundreds until police ushered the Confederates away.

“As the group (of counterprotesters) started getting bigger, we escorted them out a little earlier than planned,” said Richmond police spokeswoman Koury Wilson.

But the organizers’ departure from the rally site just west of the Lee statue on Monument Avenue was complicated by two flat tires they discovered when they arrived back at their truck two blocks away. A crowd of several dozen counterprotesters confronted and then chased them as they attempted to drive away in the disabled vehicle.

The group made it several blocks through the Fan District before stopping and waiting with police for a tow truck.

By the way, we really need to explore the confederacy in “How Is This Still A Thing” in a future top 10 because they really are convinced its’ still a thing.

RICHMOND, Va. -- Most of the pro-Confederate demonstrators who held a rally near the Robert E. Lee monument on Monument Avenue in Richmond Saturday morning ended their rally around 11 a.m. A Richmond Police officer on scene told WTVR reporter Brendan King that members of the CSA II: The New Confederate States of America, decided it was in their best interest to end the rally at that time.

The rally, anxiously anticipated all week by Richmond Police, and which led to the deployment of a vast array of city and state resources, got underway Saturday about 10 a.m. A large crowd of people who opposed the pro-Confederates gathered at the Maggie Walker statue on Broad Street in downtown Richmond at about 10 a.m. and marched to Monument Avenue. Upon their arrival, their group far outnumbered the pro-Confederates -- some of whom arrived in Virginia from out-of-state.

Oh and here’s the biggest fail – the group isn’t even from Virginia! I mean how did they even hear about this? Did they have a Google alert setup for “confederate statue removal”?

A small, Tennessee-based group is planning to hold a rally to show support for Confederate memorials on Monument Avenue in Richmond on Saturday morning. Counterprotests are planned. Police have uncovered no intelligence leading them to believe the event will draw the large and violent crowds seen in Charlottesville, but said they've nonetheless spent weeks preparing and are ready for the worst.

I like that one! And then while 7 arrests were made, they just packed up and left quietly with their tail between their legs.

6:20 p.m.: There were a total of seven arrests made during Saturday's pro-Confederate rally and counterprotests in Richmond.

Four of the arrests were for wearing a mask in public.

Caroline Hill, 24, of McLean; Thomas W. Rockett, 21, of Herndon; Corissa C. Duffey, 25, of Stockbridge, Ga.; and Ian M. Gerson, 32, of Brooklyn, N.Y. were charged with wearing a mask in public. It's against Virginia law for anyone over age 16 to wear a mask to conceal their identity.

Brittany D. Bush, 29, of Petersburg, was charged with disorderly conduct. She was arrested for allegedly threatening a bystander.

Jabari A. Robinson, 21, of Roanoke, was charged with possession of a firearm by a convicted felon.

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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From: Idiots #5-1

Gary G. from Brooklyn, New York writes:

“My husband and I are so excited we get to go to MLB games again! What’s the proper protocol for the national anthem these days? Are they still against that kneeling thing?”

Sadly yes. Also sadly, we may never hear the end of this crap.

So one more thing before we get into current events. We have to talk about what Trump was up to last week because, as I know they say in the south, he done fucked up. Maybe they don’t say that in the south, I don’t know. But seriously even the best comedy writers in the entire world couldn’t come up with the epic fails of the Trump administration and especially in the last week! The first is we got to talk about what happened when he disinvited the Eagles to the White House.

NFL owners were reportedly motivated by fear of incendiary comments from Donald Trump when devising the league’s new anthem policy. And that hand-wringing over Trump was further validated on Monday, when the President canceled the Eagles’ White House visit less than 24 hours before the scheduled ceremony to celebrate the Super Bowl LII champions. Clearly, the President is not done using the NFL and the anthem issue to serve his own political agenda.

Many Eagles players, including safety Malcolm Jenkins and defensive end Chris Long, said they wouldn’t be attending the White House because they don’t agree with Trump’s politics, not because the president insists that NFL players must stand for the anthem or “maybe they shouldn’t be in the country.” For the players, not attending Trump’s White House ceremony has never been about the anthem issue. It’s about disagreeing with Trump’s views on policing, criminal justice, and racial inequality.

Trump’s ego might have been bruised by the report that fewer than 10 Eagles players would be attending, so rather than host a sparsely attended ceremony he uninvited the whole organization. Quarterback Carson Wentz said recently that he would attend if the team as a whole decided they would go.

Wrong Eagles, Dude. But while Trump was frothing at the mouth batshit crazy over people not standing for the anthem, guess what? It turns out he was manipulated by… Fox News! Yup – you know their saying “We report, you decide!” should really be changed to “We report, HE decides!”.

Fox News apologized Tuesday after receiving a torrent of criticism over the network's use of photos of various players for the Philadelphia Eagles kneeling in prayer, creating the misleading impression that they were demonstrating during the national anthem.

The photos ran during a segment on Monday night, after President Trump announced that he had uninvited the reigning Super Bowl champions from a traditional visit to the White House.

As Fox News anchor Shannon Bream explained Trump's decision, which he attributed to the anthem protests that have roiled the league, photos of Eagles players kneeling in prayer were shown on screen.

But the real fail came when Trump decided to throw out the Eagles’ visit and replace it with a patriotic brew ha ha, and well, we got to show the clip because this is too fucking good.

Excuse me a minute… by the way I love that this guy remixed the clip with the theme song to Curb Your Enthusiasm:


I love that so much! But here’s the real fail behind all of this – Trump didn’t know the words to God Bless America! That’s right – Mr. “I’m Too Patriotic For My Shirt”…. So patriotic, yeah!! Forgot the fucking words to one of the most patriotic songs there is!

Taking on the NFL and football’s Super Bowl champs,U.S. President Donald Trump gave the boot to a White House ceremony for the Philadelphia Eagles on Tuesday and instead threw his own brief “Celebration of America” after it became clear most players weren’t going to show up.

Both sides traded hot accusations about who was to blame. Trump himself made headlines at the rally for apparently forgetting the words to "God Bless America." Video shows the president attempting to sing-along with a military band standing behind him.

Trump tried to turn the fracas into a referendum on patriotism and tie it to the dispute over players who have taken a knee during the national anthem to protest racism and police brutality. However, Eagles players never knelt during the “Star-Spangled Banner,” throughout the 2017 season and their march to the Super Bowl. Fox News, a known news source for Trump, was rebuked and apologized this week for showing images of Eagles players kneeling while praying on the field as evidence they protested the National Anthem.

Yeah you actually are completely wrong this time! I’m not really the most patriotic or religious guy known to man and I know the fucking words to that song! OK really I know the words enough that I can at least make it look like I’m lip syncing accurately! By the way if you’re wondering exactly how many Eagles players kneeled, here’s your answer.

Why did Trump cancel?

In a statement, Trump said that Eagles players "disagree with their President because he insists that they proudly stand for the National Anthem, hand on heart, in honor of the great men and women of our military and the people of our country."

Who from the Eagles kneeled last season?

No Eagles player kneeled during the national anthem in the regular season. Jenkins was among several players throughout the league who raised his fist during the anthem, and Long placed his hand on Jenkins' shoulder, until Week 13. At that point, a coalition of players led by Jenkins had agreed on the framework of an $89 million social justice platform with the league.

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[font size="8"]Scary 4Chan, Bianca’s Dead
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From: Idiots #7-7

Christina A. from Grosse Point, Michigan writes:

“My friend told me that Q Anon originated from that website 4chan. Didn’t they kill someone? I seem to remember that story!”

You’re absolutely right, Christina! There’s some sick, twisted, and depraved minds at work over at the depths of internet hell known as 4chan. Well… half right, I think the jury might still be out on this one!

Normally the Top 10 policy is that we don’t joke about things like murder or mass shootings or the situation going on at the border because it’s really too horrifying to make fun of. And this next story is about a murder. But when 4chan is involved… no really, fuck 4chan. And fuck 8chan too. And 16chan, and 32chan, and 64chan, and 128chan. Really, fuck all the Chans at this point. Except for our assistant producer Harold Chan, he can stay. Now the title of this entry comes from an old Psych episode called “Scary Sherry, Bianca’s Dead”. So for this piece, let’s call it “Scary 4chan, Bianca’s Dead”. And for this entry, we will channel our inner Shawn Spencer and Burton Guster. So before we dive into trashing this horrid excuse for an internet forum, what happened exactly?

A young woman active on social media was brutally murdered, with gruesome photos of her body posted to Instagram and other platforms.

Horrific images of 17-year-old Bianca Devins were posted on Instagram early Sunday, after she went to a concert in Queens with Brandon Andrew Clark.

Clark, 21, reportedly called police on himself, according to Lt. Bryan Coromato. When he was discovered in his car in Utica, Clark reportedly slit his own throat and posted pictures of his bleeding neck on Instagram as well.

Devins, who was a popular "egirl" on Tik Tok, was was found dead outside the SUV. Clark was rushed to the hospital, where he underwent surgery. The two reportedly met online, and had been seeing each other for about two months before the night of the concert, by Canadian musician Nicole Dollenganger.

Bianca's sister, Olivia Devins, later called Clark a "close family friend."

Yes, stay creepy 4chan! And really what an age we live in where evidence of a fucking murder can be posted online in messaging forums. And how is 4chan not being monitored by the FBI and CIA as being a terrorist group? Well, maybe terrorism is a harsh word to use for a group of incels who live in their mom’s basement and spend the whole day chain smoking and pooping their pants. I assume that’s what incels do all day. But what drove them to murder?

"Here comes Hell. It's redemption, right?"

Brandon Andrew Clark posed that question, taken from a rock song, to his Instagram followers in a temporary 24-hour story posted before dawn last Sunday.

The next image he shared was far more disturbing. A blurry photograph captioned "I'm sorry Bianca" appeared to show a woman's bloodied torso.

Before then his Instagram account, which we have chosen not to name, was mostly used to catalogue selfies and posts about music and art. Police believe the 21 year old had met Bianca through the platform two months earlier and their relationship had progressed in person since.

On Saturday, he drove Bianca to New York City from Utica, where she lived, to see Canadian singer Nicole Dollanganger perform. Police said they believed the pair had got into an argument on the way back, possibly about her kissing someone else, and he had fatally attacked her with a knife.

Police said the suspect shared an even more graphic photograph of Bianca's body on Discord - a popular messaging platform for gamers. This image showed the extent of injuries to Bianca's throat and made clear her wounds had been fatal.

Obviously. Look, passionate romance is nothing to joke about. And for an Incel who was lucky enough to score, that shit should be taken seriously! So what happens when a murder like this goes viral? And going viral is probably the worst thing you can say about someone’s murder. Oh pictures of her fatally stabbed body just.. went viral. Yeah that doesn’t sound good at all does it?

Like most mornings, Jared, who lives in a small town in southern Utah, logged in to Bianca’s group chat on Sunday to see what he’d missed overnight.

There, posted 15 minutes earlier, was a photo of Bianca’s body. From the gaze in her eyes and the extensive injuries, it was obvious she was dead.

The image, posted under a username associated with Clark, was accompanied by a message: “Sorry fuckers, you’re going to have to find someone else to orbit.”

On his own social media accounts, Clark was busy telling a story seemingly calculated for maximum exposure. He uploaded pictures of himself and Bianca’s body and declared his intention to kill himself. As police arrived to apprehend him on a secluded street in Utica, he continued to snap photos and post them online.

He even left a message at the scene, police said: The words “May you never forget me” were spray-painted on the pavement, an apparent reference to a manga about a toxic relationship that both he and Bianca liked.

Holy shit! I think we might have found the worst possible use for Instagram here. This is where toxic masculinity takes a very ugly turn. And toxic masculinity is ugly to begin with! Just adding the word “toxic” to anything makes it ugly. Like… toxic unicorns. Yes, the word “toxic” can make the most innocent things sound horrible. Like for instance I literally just turned something as innocent as a unicorn into something extremely horrifying and terrible. You can’t get that image out of your head now, can you? And here’s where social media gets really ugly.

After Bianca Devins’ brutal murder, incels and trolls gleefully circulated photos of her mutilated body across the internet. But within days, the #RIPBianca hashtag and her tagged Instagram photos were transformed into an endless stream of bubblegum pink, fluffy white kittens, candy hearts, and glittery pink clouds.

The dreamy imagery is coming from a vast community of “e-girls,” an online subculture influenced by video games, anime, and grunge that Devins had belonged to.

For these girls and young women, many of whom face harassment and threats on a regular basis, Devin’s brutal murder hit way too close to home.

“Finding out about Bianca was terrifying,” said Ashley Eldridge, a 19-year-old e-girl. “I worry about stuff like that happening all the time. I’m constantly scared that someone is going to recognize me in real life and follow me.”

The e-girl community was almost instantly privy to the incredible violence Devins suffered in the final moments of her life, sometime in the early hours of Sunday morning. Her killer stabbed her to death and then shared pictures of her dead body on social media, including her Discord server. Police suspect her boyfriend, a 22-year-old online influencer Brandon Clark who police say she’d met through Instagram about two months earlier.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Jeff Bezos Hacked
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From: [link:https://www.democraticunderground.com/100212925717]

Joel H. from Tuscon, Arizona writes:

“When Jeff Bezos and those other billionaires go into space, can we just leave them there?”

Well Joel, unofficially and off the record, let’s just say I’m for it. Especially after we had to report on this bullshit.

It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines! This is Top 10 Investigates!

The issue of cyber security is a very complex one. People day in and day out complain about, and are worried about their bank accounts and personal data being bought and sold under very shady circumstances. But this hack claim surrounds just one person. And that person just happens to be the wealthiest man in the world, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos. Even Jeff Bezos is not immune from hacking and phishing scams that have plagued the internet since its’ inception. But just how accurate are the claims that Bezos was hacked by Saudia Arabia via the What’s App application? So who is to blame in this situation?

WhatsApp disclosed 12 security vulnerabilities last year, according to the US National Vulnerabilities Database, sparking questions about the security of the app amid reports that Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos' phone was hacked by Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman.

The Guardian first reported last week that bin Salman had covertly stolen data from the Amazon CEO's phone after sending an unsolicited video that contained a malicious file in 2018.

The hack on Bezos' phone is believed to have happen after the two men exchanged friendly messages on WhatsApp on May 1, 2018, weeks after they had met at a dinner in Los Angeles while the prince was in the US on official business.

Bezos' team began investigating his phone in January 2019 after The National Enquirer published a story about him having an affair. After the accusation Bezos accused the tabloid's parent company, American Media Inc., of blackmailing him by threatening to publish his nude images.

The Saudi government has called the report "absurd" and called for an investigation into the claims.

Yes, there’s a chance Jeff Bezos could have been hacked, but then again he is Jeff Bezos. It’s not like you have to do a search on the black market internet to find out much information about him. Also, it’s the National Fucking Enquirer too, they don’t exactly have the highest journalistic integrity in the journalism industry. But then again, neither do we. But who is to blame for this? Do you blame the Saudis? Or is it the fault of the phone manufacturers?

On Friday, Facebook's vice president of global affairs and communications, Nick Clegg, said that the hacking of Jeff Bezos's phone wasn't the fault of WhatsApp, pointing instaed to the Apple iOS that powers the iPhone X Bezos was using. Or, at least, that's presumably what he was trying to say, though his answer when asked by the BBC was largely incomprehensible.

Clegg's explanation was that WhatsApp couldn't be at fault because its messages are end-to-end encrypted, meaning they can't be hacked. Rather, he argued, "It sounds like something on the, you know, what they call the operate, operated on the phone itself." To be clear, he didn't specifically mention Apple by name, however it had been previously known that Bezos was using an iPhone X at the time he was hacked.

"It can't have been anything on the, when the message was sent, in transit, because that's end-to-end encrypted on WhatsApp," Clegg said.

As a reminder, the allegation is that the Saudi Crown Prince, Mohammad bin Salman, sent a message to Amazon's CEO using WhatsApp. That message included a relatively small video file that contained malware that was used to access the contents on the iPhone.

Yes, you could have been hacked, or someone could have done a Google search. But how it happens and why it happens could apply to just about anybody. But could Saudi Prince Muhammed bin Salman been behind the hack? Yeah probably. But don’t go playing the blame game. Because that’s how they win, and they thrive off this sort of thing. Did Jeff Bezos get hacked or did he not get hacked?

UN human rights experts have demanded an immediate investigation into allegations Saudi Arabia's crown prince hacked Amazon boss Jeff Bezos's phone.

They said Mohammed bin Salman should also be investigated for "continuous, direct and personal efforts to target perceived opponents".

A message from a phone number used by the prince has been implicated in a breach of Mr Bezos's data.

The kingdom's US embassy has denied the "absurd" story.

But the independent UN experts - Agnes Callamard, special rapporteur on summary executions and extrajudicial killings, and David Kaye, special rapporteur on freedom of expression - said the crown prince's "possible involvement" had to be investigated.

Relations between Saudi Arabia and Mr Bezos - who also owns the Washington Post - worsened after Jamal Khashoggi, a prominent critic of the Saudi government and one of the newspaper's staff, was murdered in the Saudi consulate in Istanbul in 2018

That is a good question. But the question of whether or not Jeff Bezos’ phone was hacked is more of a discussion of power. And both of these men – Jeff Bezos and Muhammed bin Salmon have been in a competition for a quest for power and money for a very long time. Where does it end? That is a question for the ages. But who is more powerful? It might surprise you to learn that neither of them is.

The alleged Saudi hack of the Amazon founder, Washington Post owner, and world’s richest person Jeff Bezos offers plenty of insight into the nature of power in an era of headlong technological change. Above all, it confirms the insight that the more things change, the more they stay the same.

For those of you who have been on a desert island for the past couple of years, the whole story started back in 2019, when the National Enquirer released emails and photos exposing Bezos’s affair with a Los Angeles television personality. Bezos hinted that Saudi Arabia might have been involved, and he hired a cybersecurity firm to investigate. Last week, the firm released a report tracing the hack to malicious code contained in a WhatsApp message he had received from Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman, although it remains unclear if this is how the Enquirer obtained the embarrassing information.

If the Saudi government could hack the phone of someone who fully grasps the impact of technology and who has nearly limitless resources with which to protect himself, how can ordinary folks possibly protect themselves from similar intrusions? Only by remaining below the radar and off the grid, and even that approach may not be enough.

Given the heady mix of wealth, sex, celebrity, and politics involved, it’s hardly surprising this one incident has garnered so much attention. But does this event foretell a new global hierarchy, where hackers rule the world and traditional sources of power are increasingly irrelevant? I doubt it.

That’s it for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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Hey everyone! Here’s an unaired Holy Shit that got bumped from Idiots #10-14! Enjoy!

Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair congregation! You know many have tried to write and rewrite the Holy Bible over the years and there have been thousands of interpretations and meanings of it. Now those of you familiar with American history will recall that founding father Thomas Jefferson famously wrote his own version of the Bible and took all the BS out of it, and made it just about JAYSUS and called it “The Teachings Of Jesus Of Nazareth”. See, that’s the kind of interpretation of the Bible we here at the Holy Church Of The Top 10 can get behind! What we’re not OK with is supporters of the unholy, ungodly Dark One – a man who is so disgusting that his name shall not be spoken in my church – twisting their own dark, demented views into the Good Book! But while we’re all for freedom of speech, those like Lee Greenwood are taking a massive dump on everything that our founding fathers stood for!

Faith and patriotism have always been firmly intertwined for Lee Greenwood, so his newest project seems like a perfect fit for the veteran entertainer best known for his iconic anthem “God Bless the USA.” The God Bless the USA Bible will be released in September to commemorate the 20th anniversary of 9/11, and in addition to containing handwritten lyrics, the Bible will also include America’s “Founding Documents”—The Constitution, Bill of Rights, Declaration of Independence and the Pledge of Allegiance.

“It is a regular Bible. It will be leather bound, and it does say Holy Bible on the front,” Greenwood says, describing the new Bible during an interview at his lovely Franklin, TN home. “They are going to tie in ‘God Bless The USA’ and then it has a signature flag at the very bottom. They asked me on the inside cover if I’d write the lyrics for my song ‘God Bless the USA’ showing how faith and patriotism come together and so I did the chorus, ‘I’m proud to be an American, at least I know I’m free’ and so forth. The very back of the Bible, after the text is over, then we have the Declaration of Independence, the Bill of Rights, the Constitution and the Pledge of Allegiance.”

Greenwood is pleased that the Bible will include documents that are so important to our nation’s heritage. “More than anything, it reflects on how we got started as a country, so when people are unfamiliar with those documents, they can at least briefly read through them and understand how this country was thinking when we formed the United States of America, the first 13 colonies, and eventually every state and how we got to where we are today,” he says. “This is a democracy. We can change who runs the country. We can amend the Constitution. We can change anything that pleases the population as we continue to grow as long as we stay together and stay free.”

Nah, instead they’d rather worship mindless symbols and golden calfs. I mean this is the group that literally created a golden statue of their false idol! So now is this a good thing or a bad thing you might ask? Well… we’re indifferent. In fact we’re not touching that one with a 10 foot pole. What we will do instead is mock the ever-loving absurdity of this piece. I mean seriously, Thomas Jefferson and George Washington would be turning over in their graves if they saw this!

Zondervan said that it would not print a Bible subtitled "God Bless the USA," after critics accused the Bible of promoting Christian nationalism and blurs the barriers between the secular and sacred. The person behind the project, however, said the project won't stop despite the backlash.

The special edition Bible is an Elite Source Pro project. Christian singer Lee Greenwood's chart-topping song "God Bless America," reportedly inspired the said new edition and contains copies not only of the text of the Scripture, but the U.S. Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence, the Pledge of Allegiance, and the lyrics of Greenwood's song as well. Its promotional site boasts that it's "ideal for taking to the church, a study in the Bible, for working, traveling, etc" and is the "ultimate American Bible."

There were, however, more than 900 signatures on a petition asking Zondervan not to publish it, reports Christian Headlines.

The "God Bless the USA" Bible was described as a "toxic mix" by the petition that "will exacerbate the challenges to American evangelicalism, adding fuel to the Christian nationalism and anti-Muslim sentiments found in many segments of the evangelical church."

Now why is this controversial you might ask? Well the answer to that is simple – any time you mix politics and religion together you get controversy. Wait, that’s what we do here! But alas, we are just a mere church performing at a comedy show. But when you mix toxic politics with toxic religion, expect nothing good to come of it! In fact many are saying this Bible will promote Christian nationalism and white supremacy. But wait – isn’t that what most megachurches do anyways?

The “God Bless the USA Bible” is expected to go on sale in September, in time to commemorate the 20th anniversary of the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, according to a Nashville-based marketer who will distribute the book.

It has already prompted cries of blasphemy and concerns that the book will promote Christian nationalism, the idea that America is and should remain a Christian nation.

The Bible will also include lyrics from singer Lee Greenwood’s hit song “God Bless the USA,” which topped pop charts after Sept. 11, 2001. Using the historic King James Version, the “God Bless the USA Bible” has about 600 preorders for $49.99 and will ship in September, said Hugh Kirkpatrick, who said he wanted to inspire unity in the country.

People in 30 of the 50 states have preordered the Bible, with higher concentration of preorders coming from Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Florida and Texas, said Kirkpatrick, who leads a Nashville company called Elite Source Pro and is in the process of choosing a printer. Kirkpatrick said the Bible is not a response to any movement in particular, including nationwide debates over how the country should talk about its historical founding, such as former president Donald Trump’s panning of the New York Times’ “1619 Project” and an academic movement known as critical race theory.

Oh now people, stop your rabbling! And again, we’re not here to judge, we’re only here to mock! So why are people actually flocking to the Lee Greenwood Bible? Well, because hardcore Christians also love American symbols. And there’s nothing more symbolic than a Bible with the title of “God Bless The USA”. As George Carlin would say – “I consider these things to be symbols, and I leave that to the symbol minded!”.

“What we’re trying to do is show children who aren’t being taught about these things, how these things came together,” Kirkpatrick said. “At the bottom line, it was just to let future generations know how this thing called America started it. Why did they lean on? What influence did they have at that time?”

The Bible and government documents have often been weaponized in important debates over America’s history, said Anthea Butler, a professor at the University of Pennsylvania with a new book called “White Evangelical Racism.”

“Even if he didn’t mean it to be, this is one more flashpoint for trying to deal with the contentious points in America’s history,” Butler said.

Putting the Bible and the Constitution together in a book can present the texts as if they are both inspired by God, Butler said.

“You put a document made for a nation up against what many people believe are the words of God and say those things are equal,” Butler said. “Are you telling us these documents are equal? They’re not even meant to be compared. For many Christians, it would be offensive.”

No, sir, that is not how any of this works! In fact you have it all wrong, and our founding fathers would have hated every second of it! And by the way if you’re going to plunk down $39.99 for the Lee Greenwood Bible, why not plunk down $25 for a copy of our Good Book? It’s available in the merchandise booth and has a much better message, we feel! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: The People Vs In The Heights
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Hey everyone! Here’s an unaired Beating A Dead Horse that got bumped from Idiots #10-15! Enjoy!

Look, we get that people are starting to fight back against “woke” culture because it’s turning completely ridiculous. The latest bout of batshit insanity comes courtesy of the new Lin Manuel Miranda flick “In The Heights”. Now why do you have to come after my boy Lin like that? He only created one of the greatest musicals of the 21st century Hamilton – which featured one of the most diverse casts in Broadway history. But In The Heights? Not so much! Here’s the thing – we’re not here to mock anyone’s race, gender, or social status. We’re all inclusive here. And I get that we’ve all been holed up the last year because of COVID. But if you’re at the point where you’re literally pigeonholing cast members and roles because they’re not diverse enough for you- it is time to put down the bong and back away from the computer, and go outside and get some fresh air, OK?

Every year, Hollywood inevitably comes under criticism for its lack of racial diversity. But another lesser-known yet still pervasive problem also resurfaces: the lack of diversity in skin tone.

It happened again with In the Heights, a big-budget film based on the musical created by Lin-Manuel Miranda, which was called out this week for its dearth of dark-skinned, black Latinos in leading roles.

Colourism – or discrimination against darker-skinned people within their same ethnic group – lurks deep among pretty much all communities with varying levels of melanin. But it doesn't get talked about, and that could be a setback for the racial justice efforts that intensified after the police killing of George Floyd last year.

Avoiding the conversation will hinder the battle for racial justice because the two are “fully and inextricably linked”, said Ellis P Monk, Jr, a sociology professor at Harvard University who has been researching colourism for years.

So now this is a thing! Seriously this is movie is about a guy in New York City who owns a bodega and wants to escape his monotonous life. You can’t get much more diverse than New York City – a land where you can see beautiful people and batshit crazy people on every corner. So why are people mad at Lin Manuel over this? The best way I can describe this situation is that I call it a “clusterfuck”. Kind of like buying tickets for a John Legend concert, then finding out what his wife did on Twitter several years ago – that’s the appropriate amount of shock for this.

Even in 2021, when “diversity” and “inclusion” are entertainment industry buzzwords, a film with a mostly Latino cast is rare. Although Latinos are 18% of the U.S. population, a study last year by the University of Southern California (USC) found that Latinos made up only 4.9% of speaking roles in top Hollywood films. This disparity is especially glaring considering that, pre-pandemic, Latinos led other ethnic groups in movie-going.

When U.S. audiences do see Latinos portrayed on film, generally they are presented as being in crisis. An earlier University of Southern California study noted that Latinos in movies are often depicted as living in poverty or as criminals. No surprise there; everyone has seen movies with Latino characters trying to cross the border or fleeing from drug cartels. Though most U.S. Latinos (67%) are native-born, on film Latinos seem to be routinely presented as immigrants.

By contrast, “In The Heights” offers a vibrant depiction of the joys and struggles of Latino lives. While it takes place in a predominantly Latino neighborhood, its central conflicts are nonetheless universal. One young character stresses about college, meanwhile her neighbors worry about gentrification. Several characters run their own businesses. “In The Heights” portrays people dealing with love and loss, financial worries and family issues – in short, people with three-dimensional lives.

Now look before anyone accuses us of being racist, I just want to point out that we’re not here to debate that. In fact we regularly play a game here called “Is It Racist” and I almost thought about playing this as an “Is It Racist” segment. But here’s the thing, my friends – no matter how diverse you think a movie’s casting is, well, it ain’t diverse enough. To quote the late great Mitch Hedburg – “You can’t please everyone all the time, and last night, all those people were at my show”.

We are thrilled to bring you the Changemakers Issue, honoring the annual Juneteenth holiday and celebrating diverse voices who have a significant impact on the culture through their art, storytelling and activism.

Our cover subject, 23-year-old singer H.E.R., enlists her incredible talents to call out inequality and the need to fight for justice. Her Grammy-winning political anthem, “I Can’t Breathe,” became a signature song for the Black Lives Matter movement in response to the murder of George Floyd. H.E.R. then took home an Oscar for best song for “Fight for You” from the film “Judas and the Black Messiah,” about the assassination of Black Panther Fred Hampton by the FBI and Chicago police.

You also must read about social impact activist Opal Lee, 94, known as the “Grandmother of Juneteenth,” who each year on June 19 makes a two-and-a-half- mile pilgrimage to commemorate the date in 1865 that marked the end of slavery in America.

Look people, we get that diversity is needed, OK? You don’t have to convince us that here. But is there such a thing as being too diverse? Well… eh, I’m not touching that one with a 10 foot pole. Now here’s a plot twist. You know what movie is getting celebrated for its’ diversity? F9: The Fast Saga! That’s right – the franchise where you go to watch car chases with half-naked women and things getting blown up while Vin Diesel claims the cast that remains at the end of the movie “family” now has a more diverse cast than a Lin Manuel Miranda musical. Yes, folks! This is where we are at in 2021!

Over the weekend, comic book writer Gail Simone shared an interesting anecdote on Twitter about Hollywood, the industry’s growing need for inclusion, and the Fast and Furious movies.

“I had a very powerful Hollywood insider say that the success of the Fast and Furious franchise had a bigger effect on movie casts getting diversified than ‘all the social media complaints combined,’” Simone wrote. “This happened. If he was being hyperbolic I don’t know. But even if it’s just a commonly held belief at the top levels, it’s interesting to consider. It punches [holes] in the beliefs of both conservative and liberal commentators.”

Indeed, it is very interesting to consider, particularly on the social media platform which has become famous for dictating the direction of “discourse” around popular media on any given day. It also brings sharp attention to the unique vitality of the Fast and Furious franchise.

As a series sometimes written off as the silly blockbuster franchise where Dwayne Johnson once threw a torpedo into a submarine, the “Fast Saga” is actually the rare thing in Hollywood: an original property. Not based on a comic book, 1990s animated film, or space opera from 50 years ago, Fast and Furious made the unlikely journey from a B-action movie with a budget of $38 million to a billion-dollar franchise where new installments cost upwards of $250 million. And it built that popularity with a diverse cast from at least the second film—where Tyrese Gibson and Ludacris joined the first movie’s Paul Walker—creating a more inclusive identity for audiences a decade before Marvel Studios’ Phase Two remained still mostly dominated by white talent in front of and behind the camera.

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Hey everyone! Here’s a brand new edition of Conspiracy Corner that we shot just for this Best Of Edition to bring you some new content in our long absence! Enjoy!

Welcome back to our segment that attempts to explain the unexplainable, Conspiracy Corner! We are of course coming to you live from our underground bunker deep in the alkalai flats of the New Mexico badlands – undisclosed location of course! Before you can enter my underground lair, let us first adjust our tin foil hats for maximum government interference. Now this week, of course you know that the former guy was not elected in 2020, shocker I know. But when the former guy left office, so did his dreams of building a wall on the Mexican border. Now, most of us, even conservative republicans, have moved on from this idea. But not in Texas, oh no. In Texas, they are determined to build a wall whether the people of Texas want one or not. Hell, just like buying a new car, they’ve already got the down payment for it!

Sign up for The Brief, our daily newsletter that keeps readers up to speed on the most essential Texas news.

Gov. Greg Abbott on Wednesday announced some new details of his plan for Texas to build its own border wall, starting with the hiring process for a program manager and providing $250 million in state funds as a "down payment."

"Texas will build a border wall in our state to help secure our border," Abbott said.

The governor did not specify how long the wall would be, where it would be built or the total cost of the project, saying that those decisions will need to be determined by a program manager. On Wednesday, Abbott directed the Texas Facilities Commission to hire a program manager to begin that work.

A commitment to building a wall along the entire U.S.-Mexico border was a hallmark of former President Donald Trump’s time in office. His administration built about 450 miles of barrier, mostly in Arizona, according to The Washington Post. But Trump, who is touring the border with Abbott later this month, also met fierce resistance from private property owners unwilling to allow the federal government to build on their land.

Now that’s what they think the walls are going to do. But make no mistake – this wall isn’t about the people of Texas or the United States. It’s about boosting Gov. Abbott’s presidential hopefuls among the MAGA crowd in 2024, which he already lost to Florida’s Ron DeSantis. But now that he’s got the down payment, how’s he gonna secure the monthly payments? Well the same way they tried to before – with a Kickstarter campaign! I swear, I got to find some way to make money off these idiots.

Texas Gov. Greg Abbott (R) gave more details Wednesday about the wall he wants the state to build along the Mexico border to slow and entrap immigrants. He did not say where the wall will be built or how much it will cost, but he and other Republican officials tapped state funds for a $250 million "down payment" to hire a project manager who will make those decisions. The wall will cost "far more than $250 million," Abbott conceded. He also pledged to build more jails along the Mexico border to house immigrants he said Texas will arrest.

The Supreme Court ruled 5-3 in 2012 that states can't enforce immigration law, but Abbott told the conservative podcast Ruthless on Tuesday that state police will arrest immigrants for other violations. The wall "sets up a crime," he explained. "Anybody coming across the border who in any way tries to damage that fence, they are guilty of two crimes," vandalism and trespassing, both of which are treated as higher-level offenses under an emergency declaration Abbott issued earlier in June. "We will be putting these people in jail for a long time," he said.

Abbott may also be counting on a more conservative Supreme Court overturning its 2012 precedent, the Houston Chronicle reports.

President Biden, who halted his predecessor's federal wall construction, recently returned more than $2 billion the Trump administration siphoned from the Pentagon for the project. The Homeland Security Department also said it's reviewing border land the Trump administration confiscated through eminent domain over the past year and "will work to return the land to its prior owners," when appropriate.

I don’t think it fits right enough. So you might be wondering – who the hell is going to allow their property to be ravaged by this border wall? And let’s not forget that the poorly planned one that Trump started was already destroying landscapes across the US – Mexican border. Well let’s turn to this one rancher in the border town of Roma, Texas. He loves the idea of the wall so much that he’s allowing it to be built on his land. Now this is what will lower your property values by 75%, take note of that!

One landowner on the border said that human and drug trafficking activity has increased in recent months and believes that a state-funded border wall is a good idea.

Richard Guerra owns 5,000 acres of land in Roma, Texas, and herds cattle at his ranch, La Anacua Ranch Inc. He told KVEO that on Wednesday the Department of Homeland Security and Border Patrol briefed him on some possible new changes.

“They were briefing us on some of the ideas that the governor has that they want to implement,” said Guerra. “They’re starting to maybe form committees to look into various aspects to what it’s going to take to do to build the wall or acquire the land.”

Guerra said that he was included in the meeting because he owns land in Starr County, but there are no official plans yet.

“A lot of that has legal ramifications for them and that hasn’t been worked out—as far as I know—that hasn’t been worked out,” said Guerra.

Now you might be wondering – is this even legal? Well here’s where the situation gets tricky and where it could present a legal challenge. And it’s also where the story dives head first into conspiracy territory, and that’s where we come in! Also raises the question of who’s going to pay for it? Well it’s not Mexico, it’s going to be Texas. And Abbott’s most fervent supporters don’t seem to care. By the way, doesn’t Texas have a crippling power issue to deal with before they build a symbol of unnecessary conservative arrogance? And by the way, they literally proved on Jan. 6th that walls don’t work.

Gov. Greg Abbott’s announcement Thursday that Texas would build a border wall to stem the flow of migrants through its southern border has sparked denunciations, confusion and threats of legal action.

“States don’t have authority over immigration and our borders, that’s a federal authority,” said Domingo Garcia, national president of the League of United Latin American Citizens. “It’s not constitutional and we’re planning to challenge it in court once we see the final order.”

At a self-styled border summit in Del Rio, Abbott announced that he would unveil plans next week for the state to begin building a border wall but gave no additional details on where it would be built or how the state would pay for it.

Former President Donald Trump ran on the promise of building a wall along the U.S.-Mexico border. The Trump administration completed 458 miles of the border wall, according to U.S. Customs and Border Protection statistics from this year, including in parts of Texas, but the federal government faced multiple lawsuits over its construction.

Trump also promised that Mexico would pay for the wall. Instead, American taxpayers paid for the $15 billion project, which included repairing existing border walls and new construction. Still, Trump supporters have continued to call for its construction.

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Jackson L. from Tallahassee, Florida writes:

“Hey Top 10, I’m a democrat in the Florida panhandle. I know you guys love to pick on Florida a lot, but why?”

We don’t hate Florida, we love Florida! It’s easy to make fun of because there’s just so many batshit crazy people in this state. In fact, we tour Florida regularly and are looking forward to coming back later this year! That said, here’s a new edition of People Are Dumb with lots of the crazy Florida goodness that you all know and love!

Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people, and people are dumb. I want to start with the Korean boy band BTS. These guys are going to take over the freaking world. They already own our social media feeds, now they’re coming for our fast food. But no matter how much you may claim to love this band, everyone can agree that this is ridiculous, right? And what happened? Someone paid $100,000 for a chicken nugget. I will repeat that: someone paid $100,000 for a chicken nugget, because it looks like a video game character, but is made even more expensive because it also kind of looks like a member of the boy band BTS. But really would you expect nothing less from the batshit crazy world that we live in? I know I for one wouldn’t pay that kind of money for a chicken nugget. That’s just pure insanity.

A lone chicken nugget shaped like a character from the game “Among Us” that came in a limited-edition McDonald’s meal has reached eBay infamy after it sold for nearly $99,997.

In the early hours of Friday morning, the unassuming nugget was officially sold on eBay following a wild bidding war. After it was originally listed on May 28 for only 99 cents, a bidder upped the ante two days later— for reasons unknown — by offering a whopping $14,969.69. Did that bidder have information about this little nug that we don’t? Is that very specific number code for something?

Regardless of any possible chicken nugget intel, the processed piece of meat’s rags-to-riches tale is undoubtedly due to its shape. The nugget resembles a crewmate from the video game “Among Us,” which surged in popularity in September 2020 and may have been the product of our shared boredom during this once-in-a-lifetime pandemic. With two legs and a round top, it’s hard not to recognize the distinct figure.

The video game has followed the nugget bidding saga closely and at one point asked McDonald’s to send one over.

That is a good question, sir! Next up – we go to this story out of Texas. And look people, remember the movie Freaky Friday where a mom and a daughter switched bodies and personalities? Well this is one case where this didn’t really work out well. And oh wait – this almost never works, and Freaky Friday was just a movie. But this is just plain stupid on multiple levels.

Deputies with the El Paso County Sheriff’s Office arrested Casey Garcia, 30, of San Elizario, after the woman was accused by the local school district of trespassing on school grounds posing as a student.

The San Elizario Independent School district notified the sheriff’s office about the incident on June 1.

Deputies were also alerted to several social media posts circulating online which allegedly documented the incident.

One of the videos is titled, “Going to school as my 13yr old daughter (Middle School edition).”

Read the rest at: https://www.kwtx.com/2021/06/04/texas-mother-charged-after-sneaking-into-school-pretending-be-daughter/

Next up – of course we have to go to the Sunshine State, the great State of Florida, or as Homer Simpson famously referred to it as “America’s Wang”. Of course we love Florida here, we kid we kid! And we have to go to the town of Naples for this one. And here’s the thing people – don’t drink and drive under any circumstances! Doesn’t matter what kind of vehicle you are riding, but don’t do it! and yes, you can get DUI on a boat!

A Florida man was arrested Tuesday after a boat crashed into the Gordon River Bridge around 9 p.m. in Naples.

Joseph Turner, 35, is facing a misdemeanor charge of disorderly intoxication after police said he jumped from the boat onto the bridge after he was repeatedly told not to, according to the Naples Police Department.

The boat, named ‘Double Sunshine,’ had gotten trapped against the bridge near the 1200 block of 5th Avenue S because of a strong tide, investigators said.

People on the boat were jumping from the boat’s top deck onto the bridge, the boat’s captain told police. ..............(more)


Next up – you know the old saying don’t bring a gun to a knife fight. Well in this case, don’t bring a scooter to a Lamborghini fight. Yes, you know Lamborghini – the makers of exotic sports cars that you will never be able to afford as long as you live. I mean come on, I host this show and I will never be able to afford one! But if your $300,000 sports car is stolen, maybe don’t chase it with a scooter. Though to be fair, that could be done in LA traffic. Maybe not so much in Florida!

Andre Kalinine said he was sitting on his porch in Miami Beach when the teen ran to him and admitted stealing the vehicle.

“He said, ‘I stole a Lamborghini just now,’” Kalinine told WSVN. “‘I don’t have a license. I can’t drive.’ I didn’t know if he had a weapon. I wasn’t sure how crazy he was. I was trying to talk and calm him down. He asked me for advice. He’s like, ‘I’m 14. I don’t know what to do.’ ‘(I said) you’re better off turning yourself in. They’re going to go much, much easier on you.’”

Moments after Kalinine spoke to the teenager, police officers arrived to take him into custody.

“An officer on the other side of the fence had a gun pointing at both of us,” Kalinine told the television station.

Sander eventually drove his Lamborghini home.



Finally this week – you know I love a good fast food rage story. I collect them and trade them with my friends, like baseball cards. And this is a good one. Come on, give me a story where a woman calls 911 because McDonalds ran out of Big Macs, and I’m a happy guy! Well this is a good one. I love a good bagel, especially one loaded with cream cheese, and maybe some smoked salmon on top. But you know what I’ve never done? Pulled a gun on someone because they forgot my cream cheese! Where’s Walter Sobchak when you need him?

Police say an angry Florida man pulled a gun on a drive-thru worker because they forget the cream cheese with his bagel. The employee just happened to be the daughter of the Miami Gardens police chief.

Police say the man became angry at a Starbucks drive-thru when they messed up his order earlier this week.

According to an arrest report, he returned to the window, screaming at the employee and pulled out a gun.

The employee says the man shouted threats but did not point the gun at her.

The suspect is charged with aggravated assault with a firearm. He was being held on a $10,000 bond.

That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Keeping Up With The Candidates Ep. 12: Beto’s Gun Policy
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From: Idiots #7-17

Megan F. from Gary, Indiana writes:

“Hey Top 10, is there any chance that the 2022 midterms are going to be as batshit crazy as the 2020 election?”

Good question Megan! The answer to that is: we don’t know. We’re sure that the Former Guy will have his slimy mitts in some elections and some Q Anon people might get elected. But as long as there’s candidates like Tulsi Gabbard at the helm, our jobs are secure!

Welcome back to our guide to the mother of all elections to end elections until the remainder of time in 2020, Keeping Up With The Candidates. Last week we discussed the breaking news about how Tulsi Gabbard might be being groomed as a Russian agent. Or a republican one. Or she might tell both to fuck off and go third party. Yeah that would be the absolute worst response to that. Kind of like getting into a car accident and telling your insurance company you did it for the LULZ. Yeah that never works. OK enough of that. We have to talk about America’s 800 pound gorilla in the room and that’s guns. What are we going to do about America’s gun violence epidemic? There’s only one man out of the 24 who has the balls to take on the NRA, and that’s Texas’ Beto O’Rourke. He has a very controversial plan to end gun violence, but what is it? We will take a look and see!

Beto O'Rourke dismissed criticisms of his sweeping gun control proposal, telling CBS News in an interview Thursday night that he expects gun owners will go along with his plan to institute a "mandatory buyback" of high-powered rifles.

"If we're able to pass mandatory buybacks and I'm able to sign that into law, then I fully expect our fellow Americans to turn in their AR-15s and their AK-47s," the former Texas congressman said.

O'Rourke's "mandatory buyback" plan, which would force gun owners to surrender high-powered rifles like the AR-15 and the AK-47, has been criticized as impractical by other candidates in the race. South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg, for example, has said that O'Rourke's plan amounts to "confiscation."

Buttigieg and O'Rourke sparred over their gun views at the most recent Democratic debate earlier this month. Buttigieg, who backs more traditional gun control measures like universal background checks, dismissed O'Rourke's idea as a "purity test" and a "shiny object." In a jab back at Buttigieg, O'Rourke said that Democrats should not base their opinions on polling and what consultants say.

Seriously, good luck with that! I am definitely not poo pooing the idea, but have you seen the comments posted on gun threads, Beto? The most hardcore gun nutters definitely aren’t putting down their weapons that easily. Yeah I know it’s a comments section – the bathroom stall wall of the internet, and by the way – let us know what you think in the comments! Stay on target, stay on target! But what is specifically involved in this thing?

Former Rep. Beto O'Rourke struggled to explain on Wednesday how he would make people who wish to do harm with an assault-style weapon to comply with his proposed mandatory gun buyback, a plan that divided Democrats at Tuesday's primary debate hosted by CNN and The New York Times.

O'Rourke's plan includes a ban on assault-style weapons and for the federal government to buy back firearms, including AK-47s and AR-15s, for a "fair price" -- or otherwise face a fine.

Pressed by CNN's Alisyn Camerota Wednesday on how he planned to get assault-style weapons from people who would be reluctant to hand them over, O'Rourke, a former US representative from Texas, insisted that Americans would abide by the law.

"It's pretty simple. As with any law in this country, we would expect our fellow Americans to follow the law," O'Rourke said on CNN's "New Day."

Yeah I think Stewie is the perfect example of someone who should not be allowed to own a gun because you know he won’t use it for good! But a mandatory program Beto? You are really going there? I’m not saying no one should have guns and I’m not touching that one with a 10 foot pole. But here’s the problem with a mandatory gun buy back program: the keyword “mandatory”. Yeah some gun nutters, that’s exactly what they want, and they’re not going down without a fight!

If Tuesday night’s Democratic presidential debate decided anything, it was that Texas dodged a bullet — literally — when it failed to elect Beto O’Rourke to the U.S. Senate last year.

Ever since August’s devastating mass shooting at an El Paso Walmart, the former congressman has made promoting comprehensive gun control his raison d’etre.

That isn’t surprising or even problematic, really. Progressive Democrats have long capitalized on national tragedies in their effort to promote gun restrictions, even as there is no clear evidence that mass shootings are on the rise.

And, in fairness, the horrific nature of the El Paso shooting probably warranted a strong response from its former representative in Congress. Even some prominent conservatives have made the case for gun reforms in its wake, advocating policy proposals such as red-flag laws. Other Republicans have indicated an openness to strengthening background checks.

But O’Rourke has gone much further in his gun control advocacy, declaring on the debate stage in Houston last month, “Hell yes, we’re going to take your AR-15, your AK-47. We’re not going to allow it to be used against our fellow Americans anymore.”

Yeah really, while you’re concerned about vaping, there’s plenty of people who are armed to the teeth that will kill you before inhaling a lifetime of electronic smoke will do! This is why Beto’s gun buyback policy is a good idea in theory but would have a near impossible time working in real life. By the way if you want to see how an actual gun buyback program, here’s how Japan handled the situation. And you know what? Japan has the lowest number of shootings in the entire world!

Gun control discussions crop up every time there is an attention-grabbing shooting in the US. On Wednesday, a 19-year-old allegedly shot dozens of his former classmates at a Florida high school, leaving 17 of them dead.

One of the biggest questions: How does the US prevent this from happening over and over again?

Although the US has no exact counterpart elsewhere in the world, some countries have taken steps that can provide a window into what successful gun control looks like. Japan, a country of 127 million people and yearly gun deaths rarely totaling more than 10, is one such country.

"Ever since guns entered the country, Japan has always had strict gun laws," Iain Overton, executive director of Action on Armed Violence, a British advocacy group, told the BBC. "They are the first nation to impose gun laws in the whole world, and I think it laid down a bedrock saying that guns really don't play a part in civilian society."

[font size="4"]Next Week:[/font]

Next week we’re going to check in with the Bernie Sanders camp and find out what his latest chances of winning the election are after his recent health crisis!

See everyone on July 15th for the start of season 11!


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Posted by Top 10 Idiots | Thu Jun 24, 2021, 05:23 PM (0 replies)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots Best Of #16: The End Of An Error Best Of Edition

Top 10 Conservative Idiots Best Of #16: The End Of An Error Best Of Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Oh… hello! I didn’t see you come in! We just finished one hell of a season. Even though it was a bit short and had a lot of twists and turns that we were not expecting – particularly the Capitol Riot. Also, we said goodbye to our home at the legendary Flappers Comedy Club in downtown Burbank that’s been amazing to us in the last year and a half, especially during the COVID pandemic. But we’re jumping right into the next season – season 11! And this time after 18 months the Idiots are going back out on the road! That’s right – unlike Marjorie Greene and Matt Gaetz’ White Supremacist rallies, this is one tour you will actually want to attend! Plus after nearly 18 months of being shuttered, we are extremely proud to announce the long awaited return of… wait for it… the WHEEL OF CORRUPTION!!! Yes, the wheel is being dragged out of its’ storage locker next to the Arc Of The Covenant. And we will also be starting to have live musical acts again! Having the Foo Fighters on in the season finale was awesome wasn’t it? Well expect more of that in 2021 and even in 2022! OK enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to, but first one of our favorite John Oliver segments where he steamrolls Tucker Carlson and his white supremacist beliefs:

In the number one slot, from Idiots #10-5, we mourn the death of the original conservative idiot himself, the king of the deplorables, Rush Limbaugh (1)! And yes, his legacy was already tarnished to begin with, so don’t bother pointing that out! Taking the second slot this week, from Idiots #10-3, we play a game of Where In The World Is Kyle Rittenhouse (2) after the Kenosha protest shooter went missing and defied the judges’ orders. Taking the #3 slot this week from Idiots #10-1 is Former Guy Donald Trump (3) and we pay tribute to the end of his administration by remembering some of his dumbest moments, and there’s way too many of those to count! Taking the #4 slot this week, from Idiots #10-7, we bring back one of our favorite games on the show – Is It Racist?, because our old buddy Papa John Schnatter (4) has an absolutely bizarre claim about his use of the forbidden “N” word! In the number 5 slot this week, from Idiots #10-10, is our weekly investigative piece Top 10 Investigates (5) and we take a look at a seriously bizarre screwup thanks to the Trump administration – how did a small mom and pop pizza joint in Verona, Italy wind up on an international sanctions list? We still don’t know, but we can’t wait for the movie starring Seth Rogen! In the number 6 slot this week, from Idiots #10-11, our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6), our resident pastor has been watching a lot of the Jim Bakker Show and the batshit crazy guests he’s had on recently, and we go through the best (and worst) of them! Taking the #7 slot this week from Idiots #10-12, our segment “Beating A Dead Horse” takes a look at an absolutely bizarre op ed that appeared in the Orlando Sentinel – is Disney World becoming more “woke” or are you becoming more racist? I think it’s more the latter than the former. Taking the #8 slot this week, from Idiots #10-7, we profile Infowars correspondent and scam journalist Andy Ngo (8) in a new edition of This Fucking Guy. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this, from Idiots #10-6 this week is “I Need A Drink”. And this week what happened when podcaster and former radio host Jensen Karp found a pair of shrimp tails in his Cinnamon Toast Crunch? Absolute chaos, that’s what! Finally this week, Idiots #10-6, it’s time for my personal favorite Idiots of the year – it’s that time when we announce Stupidest State with our Selection Sunday special! We have all the states, stats, odds, and info you need to fill out your bracket! Plus we’ll also have our post season live performance by our good friends, the almighty Foo Fighters! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Rush Limbaugh
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From: Idiots #10-5

So as we were finalizing last week??s edition, just as we were getting ready to go on, we got word that Rush Limbaugh, the original conservative idiot has died. Now rather than title this week’s edition something snarky, we decided instead to simply name it after the book that put Al Franken on the political radar: Rush Limbaugh Is A Big Fat Idiot. And boy was he. You know what folks? Death isn’t always sad. Rush Limbaugh was a garbage human being. He was a serial womanizer, liar, bully, and an abusive jerk who enabled the serial liars, bullies, and abusive jerks of the world. His divisive rhetoric gave us the most divisive president in American history. If you’re a garbage person in life, that doesn’t excuse your behavior in death. You can’t all of a sudden flip a switch and think he’s the greatest person on earth. Ask Michael Jackson how well that went. What? Too soon? You know the irony of this? He succumbed to the very disease he once called a hoax and literally blew smoke in the faces of its’ victims.

Rush Limbaugh, the relentlessly provocative voice of conservative America who dominated talk radio for more than three decades with shooting-gallery attacks on liberals, Democrats, feminists, environmentalists and other moving targets, died on Wednesday. He was 70.

His wife, Kathryn, announced the death at the beginning of Mr. Limbaugh’s radio show.

“I know that I am most certainly not the Limbaugh that you tuned in to listen to today,” she said before adding that Mr. Limbaugh had died of lung cancer that morning.

He had announced on his show last February that he had advanced lung cancer. A day later, President Donald J. Trump awarded him the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation’s highest civilian honor, during the State of the Union address.

Read more: https://www.nytimes.com/2021/02/17/business/media/rush-limbaugh-dead.html

Yeah that guy is pretty much Rush Limbaugh in a nutshell. And in death he’s not done with his work of dividing America. We’re more divided than ever. If you want to know just how divisive Limpballs was, then I will be posting some of his greatest hits here. Yeah if you have any barf bags you might want to get them out now, because it’s going to get pretty dark pretty quick. And there’s plenty more where this came from.

Most recently, he falsely and repeatedly said on his show the day after the 2021 inauguration that President Joe Biden did not win the election — this after a pro-Trump mob stormed the U.S. Capitol and left five people dead weeks prior. Democrats, Limbaugh falsely said, "know that this is something that's been arranged rather than legitimately sought and won."

As his loyal fans, who call themselves "Dittoheads," mourn the death of the radio giant, read on to revisit some of Limbaugh's most controversial quotes.

He began airing “Barack, the Magic Negro,” a racist parody song about then-Sen. Barack Obama’s popularity with many white voters, in 2007.

In John K. Wilson's book, The Most Dangerous Man in America: Rush Limbaugh's Assault on Reason, the host was quoted as saying this homophobic statement: "When a gay person turns his back on you, it is anything but an insult; it's an invitation."

In his "Undeniable Truths," written as part of an article for the Sacramento Union in 1988, Limbaugh wrote, "Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women access to the mainstream of society."

On The Rush Limbaugh Show in 2004, he said, "I think it's time to get rid of this whole National Basketball Association. Call it the TBA, the Thug Basketball Association, and stop calling them teams. Call 'em gangs."

As a young broadcaster in the 1970s, Limbaugh once told a Black caller: “Take that bone out of your nose and call me back,” according to Fair.

Oh and let’s not forget his casual dips into hardcore racism. That isn’t being forgotten either, especially as the racists and gun nuts merged into one psychopathic entity, much like a really fucked up ending to Terminator 2. And let’s not forget what he said about Michael J. Fox either. A man who was the lead in one of my personal favorite movies of all time, Back To The Future. We’re not letting him get away with that one either.

When actor Michael J. Fox, suffering from Parkinson’s disease, appeared in a Democratic campaign commercial, Limbaugh mocked his tremors. When a Washington advocate for the homeless killed himself, he cracked jokes. As the AIDS epidemic raged in the 1980s, he made the dying a punchline. He called 12-year-old Chelsea Clinton a dog.

He suggested that the Democrats’ stand on reproductive rights would have led to the abortion of Jesus Christ. When a woman accused Duke University lacrosse players of rape, he derided her as a “ho,” and when a Georgetown University law student supported expanded contraceptive coverage, he dismissed her as a “slut.” When Barack Obama was elected president in 2008, Limbaugh said flatly: “I hope he fails.”

He was frequently accused of bigotry and blatant racism but could often enunciate the Republican platform better and more entertainingly than any party leader, becoming a GOP kingmaker.

Trump, like a long line of conservative politicians before him, heaped praise on Limbaugh, and during last year’s State of the Union speech, awarded him the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation’s highest civilian honor. On Wednesday, Trump lauded Limbaugh on Fox News as “a legend” who “was fighting till the very end."

Oh man if we had an audience right now you can bet they would be booing as loudly as possible. That is fucked up! It is so fucked up! And if you want to know what he really thinks about people who have had crippling cancer, well, let’s just say that he got what was coming to him. In fact I’m reminded of George Carlin’s bit about cigars. Think about this as you see what he said about gay men suffering from AIDS, one of the worst possible ways to go. Yes, Rush Limbaugh, may you rot in peace.

Many high-profile people on Twitter have been commenting to say that Limbaugh once had a segment on his show, The Rush Limbaugh Show, called "AIDS Update" that mocked the deaths of gay people.

For example, columnist Jessica Valenti went viral with her tweet that claimed: "Rush Limbaugh had a segment called 'AIDS update' set to music where he mocked dying gay people so I don't really want hear about 'speaking ill of the dead' today."

Another viral tweet came from Paul Elliott Johnson, an assistant professor at the University of Pittsburgh, who tweeted: "Rush Limbaugh had a regular radio segment where he would read off the names of gay people who died of AIDS and celebrate it and play horns and bells and stuff."

British political commentator Ash Sarkar tweeted: "In the 1980s, Rush Limbaugh hosted a regular radio segment called 'AIDS Update', where he celebrated and mocked the deaths of gay and bisexual men. May the hatred he spread in life be buried with him."


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[font size="8"]Kyle Rittenhouse
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From: Idiots #10-3

I’ve seriously tried to put a moratorium on talking about this douchebag. I don’t want any part of making him famous because he’s basically George Zimmerman, version 2.0. Yes, you remember that fuck face who became an Alt Right celebrity after murdering an unarmed teenager in a dark alleyway. Well, the next evolution of George Zimmerman is Kyle Rittenhouse. You remember him as the teenager who borrowed an AR-15 and drove across state lines to murder two protestors who were protesting the murder of George Floyd in Wisconsin. And this would be a perfect use of the “How it started / how’s it going” meme. Because it started off well. About as well as it could have for a wannabe teenage mass murderer. And then things went horribly, horribly south as you could predict.

John M. Pierce, a California lawyer who has employed war-like rhetoric in his advocacy and fundraising for Kyle Rittenhouse -- the 17-year-old accused of killing two men and wounding another during a night of unrest in Kenosha, Wisconsin -- filed a motion to withdraw from Rittenhouse's criminal case, just hours after prosecutors alleged in a court filing Thursday that Pierce's reported financial problems raised ethical concerns and a potential conflict of interest.

"So that it does not take Kyle's supporters by surprise, effective immediately I am taking over all civil matters for Kyle including his future defamation claims," Pierce wrote on Twitter Thursday afternoon. "I will also be orchestrating all fundraising for defense costs. The terrific Mark Richards [a local criminal defense attorney] will proceed in Wisconsin."

Kenosha County prosecutor Thomas Binger on Thursday morning took the highly unusual step of advocating against Pierce's request for admission to the criminal case, a procedural measure required of out-of-state lawyers that would typically be granted without objection.

But Binger filled six and a half pages with unsparing criticism of Pierce, citing numerous public statements by Pierce that Binger claimed could "materially prejudic[e]" the case, along with reports of the collapse of Pierce's law firm earlier this year "under a cloud of debt," and several lawsuits alleging Pierce defaulted on hundreds of thousands of dollars in business and personal loans.

Yeah and Kyle Rittenhouse is sort of a racist and a murderer. Now here’s the fun part because you can pretty much see where this is going. And it’s not going what one would call “particularly well”. And by the way, did you know that the Proud Boys have a theme song? Yes they do, and I curse them for making me look this up, but it was a rejected song from Disney’s Aladdin called “Proud Of Our Boy”, and Gavin McInnes adopted that as the official group song. So yeah that and also white power.

During Kyle Rittenhouse’s recent visit to a Racine County tavern, he drank beer, flashed white power signs while posing for photos, and was serenaded with the Proud Boys anthem, according to documents filed by prosecutors Wednesday.

Shortly after he formally entered a not guilty plea at his arraignment on Jan. 5, Rittenhouse spent about two hours at Pudgy’s Pub with his mother and several other people. A photo of Rittenhouse in the bar, wearing a T-shirt that said “Free as [expletive],” was widely shared on social media last week, outraging some in the community. Mount Pleasant Police visited the bar after a complaint, obtaining security video that confirmed Rittenhouse had been in the bar.

Police found Rittenhouse did not violate the conditions of his $2 million bond — state law allows people who are underage to drink if accompanied by a parent or guardian. But they did forward the video on to prosecutors.

Kenosha County prosecutors are now seeking to modify Rittenhouse’s bond, asking the court to order that Rittenhouse should not possess or consume alcohol, that he be restricted from associating with known militia members or known members of white power or white supremacist organizations, and that he be prohibited from publicly displaying symbols and gestures associated with violent white supremacist groups.

Yeah but that doesn’t really apply here. But let’s check in now with how is it going? Well, he’s gone AWOL after being serenaded at a bar with singing racists who flash white power signs. Yeah this dude is 18 and in the last year, during a raging pandemic, he’s had more adventures than I have. But seriously, this is kind of turning into a really, really fucked up version of Smokey & The Bandit.

Since his release from jail, Kyle Rittenhouse has flaunted his freedom. Last month, ABC affiliate WISN12 reported that Rittenhouse was seen at a bar wearing a shirt that read “Free As Fuck.” He allegedly flashed a white power hand signs, took photos with fans, and sang Proud Boy anthems.

Now, the Illinois teen charged with shooting three protesters in Kenosha, Wisconsin last year seems to be MIA. According to NBC affiliate TMJ4 in Milwaukee, an investigation conducted by the Kenosha Police Department determined that Rittenhouse hasn’t lived at the address listed to the court for over a month.

Prosecutors argue that Rittenhouse violated his bond because he failed to update his address with 48 hours of his move, and that the Court is therefore unable to properly monitor Rittenhouse’s whereabouts. They’re also urging the Court to issue a warrant for his arrest and increase his bond by $200,000 so that he can take this whole you-allegedly-murdered-people-and-might-spend-the-rest-of-your-life-in-jail thing a little more seriously.

Rittenhouse has been out of jail since posting $2 million bond with money raised by supporters. These supporters flocked to him after he was rendered into a right-wing boy wonder for playing wannabe minute man during a protest responding to the police shooting of Jacob Blake, a Black man, in Kenosha back in August. Rittenhouse claimed he was in Kenosha to protect businesses from rioters. He allegedly shot three people, killing two, before fleeing the scene and running home to Antioch, Illinois, just across the state border. He was arrested the next day and charged with first-degree intentional homicide, first-degree reckless homicide, attempted first-degree intentional homicide, and two counts of first-degree recklessly endangering safety. Rittenhouse pled not guilty.

Shit, if I were Kyle Rittenhouse’s attorney I’d be drunk too. Oh no wait, I would actually pray to be fired because there’s nothing you can do to defend this douchebag. I mean this case is so toxic that it’s almost impossible to begin to find any moral ground. And it’s a perfect example of what happens when you make terrible people famous. That’s exactly what the Trump administration has done – they make terrible people famous. Trump attracts sick and depraved minds, and Kyle Rittenhouse is no exception, no wonder he’s loved by racists everywhere.

An 18-year-old from Illinois who’s accused of killing two people and wounding a third during a police brutality protest in Wisconsin last summer fired a California attorney who had been soliciting money for his case.

John Pierce, a Los Angeles lawyer, had been at the forefront of Kyle Rittenhouse’s defense, helping raise money from conservatives to post Rittenhouse’s $2 million bail in November. He also hired attorney Mark Richards to handle proceedings in Wisconsin.

Rittenhouse, who is white and was 17 at the time, is accused of shooting three people in Kenosha in August as hundreds were protesting the police shooting of Jacob Blake, a Black man. Rittenhouse, who had come to Kenosha from his home in nearby Antioch, Illinois, has argued they attacked him and he fired in self-defense.

Pierce removed himself from Rittenhouse’s criminal case in December after prosecutors alleged he has “significant financial difficulties” and shouldn’t be allowed to raise money for Rittenhouse. He remained Rittenhouse’s attorney on civil matters

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[font size="8"]The Capitol Riot: The Suspects
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From: Top 10 #10-1

The Capitol Riot is still huge news and why not? The last time someone tried something that batshit insane was 150 years ago! And due to the sheer amount of people who were at this thing, not only is it going to provide good fodder for us for the next two years, but we may never know the real extent of everything that happened there. But one thing is for certain – the people who infiltrated the Capitol Building are some of the dumbest motherfuckers alive! So much that we’re dedicating this week’s People Are Dumb to just that! But one thing is for certain is that these are some of the stupidest criminals alive. You don’t break into a government building and take a selfie to upload to Instagram! I mean they have things like location and IP trackers. So if you do this, that will make it that much easier for the Feds to find you. Like this for instance!

Texas resident Garret Miller, who posted a picture of himself participating in the January riot at the U.S. Capitol on social media, was arrested by authorities on Friday.

Lawmakers were forced to shelter in place during the riot which interrupted the Congressional confirmation of President Joe Biden's victory in the Electoral College. Five individuals died in connection with the riot which was carried out by supporters of then-President Donald Trump. Many members of the mob broadcast their activities on social media, including Miller.

According to an affidavit from the Federal Bureau of Investigation, Miller posted a 14-second-long video taken inside the Capitol Rotunda that showed rioters waving flags. Miller captioned the video, "From inside congress."

Miller also posted a selfie of himself inside the Rotunda to his Facebook page.
"After MILLER posted the selfie above showing him inside the U.S. Capitol building, an individual on Facebook commented, 'bro you got in?! Nice!,' to which MILLER replied, 'just wanted to incriminate myself a little lol,'" the affidavit read.

Here’s the thing guys – not only are you making the Feds’ job that much easier, you’re also making my job that much easier! Hell I am writing this entry in 10 freaking minutes! The more we find out about what went on during the January 6th riot, the more we find out how fucking stupid and crazy the Trump fans really are. Really – if you play stupid games, you’re going to win stupid prizes. Like a trip to jail or COVID-19. Yeah there’s still that happening too!

The Texas-based real estate agent who traveled to the January 6 Capitol riots in a private plane was kicked off PayPal Thursday evening after attempting to solicit donations for business losses.

Jenna Ryan, who was arrested last week, asked her Twitter followers for help Thursday afternoon, sharing a link to a PayPal account where supporters could offer a donation. In a tweet, Ryan said, "I am accepting donations to pay legal fees and losses due to my arrest and charges by the FBI" and later claimed she had raised $1,000.

By Thursday evening, PayPal had closed the account, according to Kim Eichorn, a PayPal spokesperson.

"PayPal has a policy to allow fundraising for legal defense purposes," Eichorn said in an email to CBS News. "PayPal thoroughly reviews accounts, and if we learn that funds are used for anything other than legal defense, the account will be subject to immediate closure. We can confirm that the account in question has been closed."

Ryan acknowledged that her account was closed Thursday evening in a now-deleted tweet: "Shucky darn I can't do business with PayPal anymore. What am I gonna do with myself? I think I will survive. Seems like some people want to cancel me because I'm trying to get donations from PayPal. Big Woop."

Aw… shucky darn, you’re going to go to jail! Hope you like prison food! I mean really, who the fuck talks like that? Let alone someone who has access to private jets? But you might be thinking “Gee, there’s got to be an explanation for such stupidity! Well guess what? I got news for you: there isn’t. You know how we’re always asking for “pics or it didn’t happen?”. Yeah the same applies here. But when you post selfies with location and IP tracking, you’re gonna get caught.

As she approached the U.S. Capitol doors, Jenna Ryan lined up her face in the frame of a Facebook Live video. “Y’all know who to hire for your Realtor. Jenna Ryan for your Realtor,” she said to the camera.

University of Kentucky student Gracyn Courtright posted a photo of herself on Instagram from outside the Capitol doors, arms lifted in celebration. “Can’t wait to tell my grandkids I was here!” the caption read.

In posts on Instagram and Facebook, Edward “Jake” Lang shared his confrontation with police officers at the Capitol. Using a finger-pointing emoji toward the front of the crowd, Lang wrote, “This is me.”

All three publicly documented their roles in the mob attack Jan. 6 on the U.S. Capitol that left five dead and sent lawmakers fleeing for safety, and all three saw that documentation used against them in charges filed by the Department of Justice.

They are hardly anomalies. Of the 119 people facing federal charges in connection to the riot as of Thursday afternoon, at least 71 cases involve photos, posts or footage from social media. At least 47 people saw screenshots of their own selfies, livestreams, videos or posts in their charges, according to a USA TODAY analysis of the federal charging documents.

Yeah really! There aren’t enough facepalms for this. But again we say – play stupid games and win stupid prizes! Before you think about uploading that selfie of you posing in front of Nancy Pelosi’s office, you might want to think about the consequences of your actions. I mean come on, it got the alt right personality known as Baked Alaska caught. And really who names themselves after a desert from the 1950s? These idiots.

Far-right media personality Tim Gionet, who calls himself “Baked Alaska,” has been arrested by the FBI for his involvement in the riot at the U.S. Capitol, a law enforcement official told The Associated Press.

Gionet was arrested by federal agents in Houston on Saturday, according to the official, who was not authorized to discuss the matter before the public release of a criminal complaint and spoke on condition of anonymity.

Thousands of supporters of President Donald Trump stormed the Capitol on Jan. 6 as Congress was meeting to vote to affirm President-elect Joe Biden’s electoral win. Five people died in the mayhem.

Gionet faces charges of violent and disorderly conduct on Capitol grounds and knowingly entering a restricted building without law

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[font size="8"]Is It Racist?
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From: Idiots #10-7

Hey everyone it’s time to play the hot new game that’s sweeping the nation!

And we always say that if you have to ask, it’s probably racist! And there’s plenty of it this week. I want to start with racist pizza. Note: do not call your new band “Racist Pizza”. But I’m of course talking about our old buddy John Schnatter. You know him best as the founder of Papa John’s Pizza. A company that has seen its’ brand turned from the preferred pizza of frat boy stoners everywhere to the preferred pizza of racist frat boys everywhere (see: Top 10 #3-21 ). Yes, Papa John’s may be the official pizza of the Alt Right, but that hasn’t stopped Papa John himself from being as batshit crazy as ever. He may have had a change of heart on the subject, but he’s really telling the wrong people that he’s had a change of heart on the subject.

John Schnatter, the founder and former chief executive of Papa John’s pizza, has been trying “to get rid of this N-word in my vocabulary” ever since he lost his role as the public face of the company for using it – more than two years ago.

Schnatter resigned as Papa John’s chairman in July 2018, after an explosive report by Forbes detailed a conference call in which he “used the N-word” and “reflected on his early life in Indiana, where, he said, people used to drag African Americans from trucks until they died”.

Earlier this month, Schnatter told far-right TV network OAN he was the victim of a targeted coup perpetrated by a left-leaning sports and entertainment entrepreneur, business rivals and board members looking to profit from his demise.

“I used to lay in bed just goin’, ‘How did they do this?’” he said. “And we’ve had three goals for the last 20 months: to get rid of this N-word in my vocabulary and dictionary and everything else, because it’s just not true; figure out how they did this; and get on with my life.”

He also suggested that the Papa John’s board took advantage of his problems, even though he said they knew he wasn’t a racist.

“All the stars were aligned perfectly with one motive,” he said. “And that is to get rid of me.”


How about this - you want to prove you're not a racist? Maybe don't go on OAN to tell people that you're not a racist! OAN: It's like what Fox News would be if it were run by your racist uncle! So yeah is it racist? Of course it fucking is! You might as well have a Confederate flag backdrop while telling OAN that you’ve been trying to stop using the N word! Next up – racist talk shows! Look, I will admit that I am a huge Ozzy Osbourne fan and I love Black Sabbath. But Sharon Osbourne has always been despicable – so the question is, IS IT RACIST??

CBS says its daytime show “The Talk” will stay on hiatus for another week after a discussion about racism involving co-host Sharon Osbourne went off the rails last week.

The network said in a statement that it is committed to “a process where all voices are heard, claims are investigated and appropriate action is taken where necessary.”

Osbourne reacted angrily last week during a discussion about British television personality Piers Morgan, who she describes as a friend. Morgan left the “Good Morning Britain” show after he said he didn’t believe Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex, when she said in an interview that she had considered suicide when unhappy with her life in Britain’s royal family.

A fellow host, Sheryl Underwood, said to Osbourne on the show last Wednesday, “what would you say to people who may feel that, while you’re standing by your friend, it appears that you gave validation or safe haven to something that he has uttered that is racist, even if you don’t agree?” Underwood, like Markle, is Black.

Well my fair virtual audience, I have to say… IS IT RACIST? And well yeah I think this one could easily qualify as racist, especially under my parameters! Next up – racist music! And while in this weird socially distant world in which we’re currently living, concerts are few and far between. But while conservatives are still railing on “cancel culture”, whatever that is, if you don’t want be canceled, maybe don’t put yourself in that position!

Flaw vocalist Chris Volz called out the sound engineers at a concert over the weekend while using the "N-word" and has since gone on to defend what he perceives as his right to do so in a social media post.

Metal Sucks posted video of the incident, which occurred this past Friday (March 12) at the WC Social Club in West Chicago, Illinois. In the video, it appears as though Volz is being yelled at from the audience before pointing out, "There's three of you N***As sitting right there. I'd like one of you to come up here. You're all white, so that's not racist."

During his onstage temper tantrum he went on to add, “One of you guys need to come up here. I want one of you to come up here and hear these center wedges before we finish, just so you know what I actually went through tonight and how badass it is that I actually had no wedges."

In response to their reluctance to join Volz onstage, he added, “Hey! I’m not fuckin’ around! One of you motherfuckers comes up onstage and listens to these wedges before we finish, otherwise you’re all getting rolled.”

Read More: Flaw Frontman Uses the 'N-Word' at Concert | https://loudwire.com/flaw-frontman-cancel-culture-criticism-using-n-word-concert/?utm_source=tsmclip&utm_medium=referral

Here’s the thing – maybe don’t use the N word, threaten to fight an audience member, then blame it on cancel culture. That’s entirely on you! You’re a racist! We don’t even have to guess at that one! Finally this week – racist reality shows! I’m of course talking about The Bachelor – which is inexplicably still on the air after what seems like 10,000,000 seasons. And when you’re on the air that long, and it’s unscripted, you’re probably going to say or do something that one might consider to be well, racist.

It’s impossible to watch the latest episode of "The Bachelor" without thinking about the explosion inside the franchise this past week.

Chris Harrison, the host of the franchise since its 2002 debut, announced Saturday he would be "stepping aside" from the show "for a period of time" and won't appear in Matt James' "After the Final Rose" special in March, following backlash for defending current front-runner Rachael Kirkconnell, who apologized last week for "offensive and racist" actions.

A deluge of prominent former franchise stars and contestants have since spoken out, pushing for Harrison's resignation, applauding Rachel Lindsay – the franchise's first Black star, who was interviewing Harrison when he made the comments – and calling for those who work on and watch the show to take greater action to fight racism.

All this offscreen controversy makes for a strange viewing experience, particularly in a later scene in which singer Aloe Blacc, an outspoken social justice activist, performs a private show for Kirkconnell and James.

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[font size="8"]Top 10 Investigates: Small Pizza Joint, Big Sanctions
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From: [link: [https://www.democraticunderground.com/100215316380 | Idiots #10-10]

It's another Clip Without Context!

Yeah no, Gordon, that was the last guy's agenda, and I'm pretty sure he was on Satan's payroll. Satan's Payroll - great band, by the way. Saw them at the Troubadour last year. It's time for Top 10 Investigates!

It’s time to investigate beyond the headlines. This is Top 10 Investigates!

Now that it’s been 3 months removed from the end of the Donald J. Trump administration, we’re learning just how much damage this administration did in just four short years. They’ve broken the system beyond repair, and that’s precisely what they set out to do. One of the things this administration broke was our many international relations, which are going to take a long time to repair. And this is one of those things we can’t wait for the movie of this story. Because it’s certifiably insane and we can’t help but wonder what actually happened? Well if you do some investigating you’ll find it’s a variable clusterfuck of events that led to this. What happened was that Trump mistook a small Italian pizza joint in Verona, Italy for an international oil conglomerate.

There are bad Mondays, there are really bad Mondays, and then there's the Monday that Alessandro Bazzoni had earlier this year. The 45-year-old, who owns a restaurant and pizzeria in Verona, Italy, got a call from his banker who told him that there were "more than a few problems" with his three accounts.

According to La Repubblica, Bazzoni abandoned the risotto he'd been preparing, and went immediately to the bank, Banca Popolare dell'Emilia Romagna, where he learned that all of his accounts had been blocked by the U.S. government. "I asked them if they were making fun of me but nobody laughed," he said. "And in fact there was really nothing to laugh about."

Apparently on the last day of Donald Trump's presidency, the U.S. Treasury put sanctions on three individuals and more than a dozen businesses that had "ties to a network attempting to evade United States sanctions on Venezuela's oil sector," and that were connected to Petróleos de Venezuela (PdVSA), the Venezuelan state-owned oil and natural gas company.

"Bazzoni [...] is a core facilitator of the network, connecting Elemento and Swissoil with PdVSA and Saab. Bazzoni, an Italian citizen, has been instrumental in coordinating the purchase and sale of Venezuelan-origin crude oil from PdVSA," the Treasury wrote. "Bazzoni was designated today for operating in the oil sector of the Venezuelan economy and because he has materially assisted, sponsored, or provided financial, material, or technological support for, or goods or services to or in support of, PdVSA."

Except that it wasn’t Trump’s first day, it was his last. And he was determined to make Venezuela public enemy number 1, apparently because he didn’t have much else to do. But anyway with 7 billion people in the world it’s pretty easy to see that someone could have the same name as a reclusive oil billionaire who dominates industry trade. Even someone like the owner of a small mom and pop pizza restaurant, but at least get the name right before you phone it in.

The Trump administration accidentally slapped sanctions on an Italian restaurant and a graphic design studio before the former president left office, The Guardian reported.

On former President Donald Trump's last day of office, he ordered that sanctions be imposed on a network of Venezuelan oil firms and individuals associated with the state oil company — Petroleos de Venezuela (PDVSA).

This was part of a long-term economic embargo on Venezuela, intended to put an end to President Nicolas Maduro's regime.

However, an unfortunate mistake meant that two Italian business owners, who shared the same name as a man involved in the Venezuelan oil trade, had their businesses targeted in the crackdown.

So there’s so much more to this story. Apparently the US – Venezuela sanctions had a specific target: Venezuela’s prime minister Nicolas Maduro – who we’re pretty sure is one evil dude, and there may have been good intentions of hitting him with sanctions. Though our current leader at the time really wasn’t much better. But they could have at least done the research before hitting a mom and pop pizza owner with sanctions.

In 2019, Trump’s government imposed sanctions on Venezuela’s state oil company, Petroleos de Venezuela (PDVSA), in an attempt to force the resignation of president Nicolás Maduro, who the US accused of corruption, human rights violations and rigging his 2018 re-election. On his last day in office, Trump sanctioned a network of oil firms and individuals tied to PDVSA.

Bazzoni, the restaurant owner, discovered his company’s name – AMG SAS Di Alessandro Bazzoni & C – was on the blacklist during a visit to his bank on 19 January, the day before Trump left office and the new US president, Joe Biden, was sworn in.

“When I heard that my current accounts had been blocked, I thought it was a joke,” Bazzoni told Corriere della Sera. “These are already difficult times for us restaurant owners, the last thing I needed was to have my accounts blocked.”

Bazzoni told the newspaper he solved the problem himself, “by entering my data on a special digital platform of the US government”. He added: “While I was at it I managed to get a visa until 2023.”

So there are two men named Alessandro Bazzoni – one an Italian pizza restaurant owner, and the other an international oil billionaire -were both put on an international sanctions list, and the restaurant owner found out about it the hard way. But in terms of everything the Trump administration has done, this will forever be remembered as one of the biggest blunders in his administration, and it’s completely full of huge blunders. The biggest blunders ever. Big, huge blunders.

The Trump administration, known specifically for its competence, accidentally imposed sanctions on a graphic design studio and an Italian pizzeria before the neon orange creature, Trump himself, left office. Business Insider has the scoop on one of his last, if not final, fuckups in office.

On his last day in office, Trump ordered that sanctions be slapped onto a network of Venezuelan oil firms and individuals associated with a state-owned company known as Petroleos de Venezuela. One of the individuals named is the sanction is named Alessandro Bazzoni, and you can probably guess where this is headed.

Alessandro Bazzoni, who owns SeriGraphicLab in Sardinia, Italy, told The Guardian that he had been blacklisted by the US Department of the Treasury, although he declined to comment further. And the same thing happened to a pizzeria owner, again named Alessandro Bazzoni, in the Italian city of Verona.

Pizzeria Bazzoni (not graphic designer Bazzoni) told his local newspaper, Corriere della Sera, “When I heard that my current accounts had been blocked, I thought it was a joke.” But nobody was joshin’ Bazzoni, because it was the real deal. “These are already difficult times for us restaurant owners,” he said. “The last thing I needed was to have my accounts blocked.” While he hasn’t received an apology, his name has been removed from the sanctions list.


That’s it this week for Top 10 Investigates. Good day.

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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From: Idiots #10-11

Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the virtual pew and pass the VENMO collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:

My fair virtual congregation! You know we cannot take vacations right now, so I have been hulled up in my cathedral dormitory. What have I been doing with this free time you might ask? Well I have been watching some of the crazy shit that has been going on with our brothers and sisters on the right, because they have been upping the conspiracy theories and it’s getting nuttier and nuttier. My favorite example of pure, unfiltered crazy has been appearing on the Jim Bakker show. They have had some absolute doozies in the last few weeks. And that’s not something that the good LAWRD JAYSUS would want now is it? There is some seriously next level crazy going on in some of these talk shows, but none and I repeat none are more crazy than what Jim Bakker has been peddling. I guess those end times gallon buckets of industrial grade mac and cheese aren’t going to sell themselves now, are they? But like I said this is some next level crazy here.

For years, right-wing pastor Jim Bakker has been using his daily television program to terrify his audience into believing that the End Times are upon us, often for the apparent purpose of selling them products designed to help them survive the apocalypse.

Bakker kicked things up a notch on Tuesday’s program, which featured right-wing conspiracy theorist Steve Quayle warning about aliens, demons, trans-dimensional beings, and “diseases that are designed to initiate cannibalism in human beings” and turn them into literal zombies.

The conspiracy theories promoted by Quayle were so pervasive and convoluted that it was difficult to understand exactly what he was even saying, but he seemed to be suggesting that nasal tests for COVID-19 were part of a nefarious plan to obtain DNA samples to be used in the creation of targeted biological weapons that will unleash a disease to turn everyone it does not kill into flesh-eating zombies.

“Zombies that are on the Earth are a disease like any other disease that affects people, and they become like zombies. Is that right?” Bakker asked.

I’m pretty sure that’s actual footage of the last episode now, isn’t it? Now if zombies weren’t enough to scare you into buying his end times products, maybe alien viruses will do the trick? And I’m of course not referring to the virus we’re currently dealing with. But yeah as far as crazy goes, this I think breaks the crazy scale. And GAWD commanded that we not deal with certifiably crazy people such as this for they are wicked and insane!

While televangelist Jim Bakker’s daily television program has always been a repository for misinformation, baseless conspiracy theories, and End Times fearmongering, his show has gotten decidedly stranger in recent days.

Earlier this week, Bakker interviewed right-wing conspiracy theorist Steve Quayle, who spent two programs warning about aliens, demons, trans-dimensional beings, and “diseases that are designed to initiate cannibalism in human beings” and turn them into literal zombies. On the heels of those programs, Bakker interviewed End Times conspiracy theorist Tom Horn, who warned that an asteroid will strike the Earth in 2029, unleashing an alien virus that will give rise to the Antichrist.

On Thursday’s program, Horn discussed his recent book, “The Wormwood Prophecy,” which claims that the government is covering up the fact that an asteroid known as Apophis will strike the Earth in 2029. While scientists say that Apophis will simply pass by our planet in 2029, Horn insists that it will actually strike the Earth and fulfill the prophecy in Revelation 8: “The third angel sounded his trumpet, and a great star, blazing like a torch, fell from the sky on a third of the rivers and on the springs of water— the name of the star is Wormwood. A third of the waters turned bitter, and many people died from the waters that had become bitter.”

“I believe Apophis is the asteroid that is talked about in the book of Revelation, chapter eight,” Horn said. “It is what is called ‘Wormwood’ in the Bible.”

And I think these are all things that make people crazy right now! And come on, do we really need crazy theories about voter ID? I mean these theories that are peddled on this show are just getting crazier and weirder. During my week off, I was obsessed with watching the insanity that is the Jim Bakker Show, my fair virtual congregation! How does this guy still have an audience? There will always be crazies out there, but it seems they are getting even crazier!

Religious-right activist Alveda King appeared on “The Jim Bakker Show” Monday where she claimed that not requiring voters to show ID before casting their ballots is both “identity theft” and an effort to erase the identities of Black Americans.

“It’s just so hypocritical to say to a person, ‘It is Jim Crow to require that you have an ID when you go to vote,'” King said. “That’s called identity fraud, identity theft. When you say to me as an African American, ‘You do not need an ID, your identity does not matter, who cares who you are, just show up and vote,’ you are taking away my identity.”

‘During the days of Jim Crow,” she continued, “we knew it was important to be identified as equal citizens of the United States of America. So any law that says, ‘Oh, you don’t need a voter ID. Who needs an ID?’ Well, I have an identity. I know who I am in Christ Jesus. So it’s a double standard. … When you go to vote, nobody cares whether or not you are an equal citizen of the United States of America? That is identity theft. When you tell me, ‘Your ID is not important when you vote,’ you are telling me that my identity as a citizen of these United States is not relevant, it is not important.”

No it’s just the sound of people being out of their minds ridiculous. You know what else is driving people crazy? The previous guy! Yes, I refer to a man so awful, foul, repugnant and repulsive that his name dare not be spoken in my church! Even if we are broadcasting to you on Zoom! That’s right – the unholy, ungodly Dark One is rearing his ugly head again! So in context, Christians don’t riot! Although do I really need to point out in the Bible the times that they did? Yes everybody let’s riot! Whew, I really got to block this channel from my TV.

On Tuesday’s episode of his “The Jim Bakker Show” television program, End Times pastor Jim Bakker and his guest, End Times author Jonathan Cahn, insisted that Christians had nothing to do with the Jan. 6 insurrection in Washington, D.C., when supporters of then-President Donald Trump stormed the U.S. Capitol in an effort to prevent Congress from certifying the election for Joe Biden.

Bakker and Cahn insisted that even though Christians played no role in the chaos at the Capitol, left-wing activists are nonetheless trying to use the event to justify shutting down churches and persecuting believers.

“I still don’t understand all of that,” Bakker said. “Christians don’t burn buildings down. Christians don’t riot. They just don’t. I’m talking about born-again Christians, biblical Christians.”

That is an interesting statement coming from Bakker, considering that just three months before the election, Bakker himself warned that if Trump lost the election, Christians would start a revolution.

“We’ve got a few more days to stand up,” Bakker said in August 2020. “It’s going to be too late after the election, I believe. I think if we elect the wrong people—and you see how wrong it’s been—we’re gonna have a revolution. The church people are going to march in the streets.”

Whew, there we go folks! I think I’ve reached that stage of quarantine where boredom is taking me strange places! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Woke Disneyland
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From: Idiots #10-12

I think this question needs to be asked. Is Disneyland getting more “Woke”, or are you getting more racist? Here’s the thing – we all know that Disneyland is becoming more socially relevant. Or as the kids and your creepy conservative uncle refer to it as “being woke”. But if you even broach the subject of Disneyland finally making light of past dealings as “being woke” then it’s not them, it’s you! And if you’re even going so far to complain that it’s ruining the experience, then guess what? You’re a racist! That’s what one Disney fan is claiming in Orlando. But the one thing is that this guy got what was coming to him. And all it really takes is a quick Google search to realize that people who are doing the complaining about Disneyland being “Woke” are part of the problem. But again if you have to ask, it’s not us, it’s you, and we’re laughing at you.

Jonathan VanBoskerck is not exactly a household name, but on Friday he very quickly, became the most famous Disney Adult in America after a bizarre opinion piece decrying “woke” culture was published in an Orlando newspaper.

The photo, with the man in a Hawaiian-adjacent Disney shirt with Disney trinkets in the background, was enough to grab the attention of plenty of people online. But the column was much more bizarre: the Las Vegas native described his family’s yearly trips to the Florida theme park were being ruined by a “woke scalpel” that was removing parts of his favorite rides and ruining the experience because of cancel culture.

It’s reminiscent of the man who recently went viral for getting arrested at Disney for not adhering to the park’s safety standards amid the still-ongoing coronavirus pandemic. But that reminder of the real world is not the issue for Van Boskerck, it’s that sometimes people who dress up as anthropomorphic dogs and Disney princesses have tattoos and haircuts that were not animated in the 1960s:

That may seem like a silly thing to get upset about, but it’s really the “woke scalpel” that Disney has taken to its rides and attractions in recent years that’s made him most upset. Essentially, VanBoskerck is really missing all the horny and racist stuff. He complains that Disney is updating its Jungle Cruise ride to take out harmful stereotypes of indigenous people, and lamented the missing scenes, like a guy being boiled alive, from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride they’ve removed over the years:

No shit! Pirates Of The Caribbean getting less rapey? The Log Jammin’ ride removing references to Song Of The South? Yeah those are good things! Let me point something out for you keyboard warriors who are complaining about “woke” culture: things are changing and you’re getting left out! If you don’t want to live in the real world where actions have consequences? Stay at home and watch Fox News in the dark, that’s your only option left!

Like many of the world’s theme parks, Disney World does not look like it did when it first launched; it’s been renovated and brought in new elements to older rides (such as the addition of Frozen to Epcot’s World Showcase). But some of the more recent additions and rule changes—which are at the center of a widely derided op-ed—are being ripped a new one online.

On Friday, the Orlando Sentinel published an op-ed titled “I Love Disney World, but wokeness is ruining the experience.” It’s by Jonathan VanBoskerck, a man from North Las Vegas who describes himself as “a Christian and a conservative Republican.” He’s been a lifelong Disney fan—he takes his family to the park every year—but he’s now reconsidering making the pilgrimage because he feels that Disney is abandoning the immersive and magical experience that comes with a trip to Disney World.

“Disney World is going to lose us as customers if it continues down this path,” VanBoskerck wrote. “I do not want to have Disney World taken away from us because Disney cares more about politics than happy guests.”

VanBoskerck’s argument is flawed, includes racist language while arguing that a racist depiction in a ride is in fact not racist, and perhaps most noticeably, ignores the fact that wanting to pretend something isn’t political is, in fact, a political argument. It doesn’t relay what changes were made to the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, which includes both sensitivity changes (it no longer has pirates chasing after women) and more cultural ones (the ride now includes Pirates of the Caribbean’s Jack Sparrow).

So less racist people going to Disneyland? That’s a good thing. Look, Disneyland is a 15 mile drive from my house but I will never understand the annual pass people. However, one thing I do understand is racists, at least I like to think I do! And less of them at Disneyland? That means that demand will decrease which means ticket prices will decrease! Yay, economics 101! And I love that Trump fans think that they have any sort of impact on the market. I will tell you as someone who has been monitoring boycotts the last 5 years: you don’t.

A “Christian and conservative Republican” Disney fan says changes to Splash Mountain, Jungle Cruise and Pirates of the Caribbean rides make him feel “excluded”

A self-described “Christian and conservative Republican” Disney fan was roasted on social media for arguing in a Friday op-ed for the Orlando Sentinel that changes to Disney World’s Splash Mountain, Jungle Cruise and Pirates of the Caribbean rides were ruining his experience at the theme park for the sake of “political correctness.”

In his piece, Jonathan VanBoskerck said Disney was taking the “woke scalpel” to Jungle Cruise by removing Trader Sam, an animatronic salesman who appears at the end of the ride to exchange human heads and plays into racist stereotypes of Indigenous peoples. But VanBoskerck said Trader Sam was a “funny and silly caricature” and “no more based in racism than every Disney caricature of an out-of-touch white American dad.”

“The next time I ride Jungle Cruise I will not be thinking about the gloriously entertaining puns of the skippers, I will be thinking about Disney’s political agenda,” VanBoskerck wrote. “That’s a mood killer.”

Yeah of course it’s a mood killer! Look dude, here’s the thing – and we cannot say this enough on this program – if you have to ask it’s probably racist. But what we also cannot stress enough – if someone is considered to be “woke” as you guys put it, that means that they are simply fighting back against the bullshit! It’s about time things start changing for the better, especially after how volatile the events of last year were! If you’re complaining that “wokeness” is “ruining your mood” then guess what? You’re part of the problem! But at least Walt Disney would have the right idea if he were alive today.

Walt Disney once said, “Progress is impossible without change,” and as the mastermind behind perhaps one of the most successful corporations in the world, The Walt Disney Co., Walt was onto something.

Relevance and value are almost always based in the relatability people have to the work and productivity of an entity. And if an entity is not changing with the times, it becomes a barrier to progress and change.

In a recent op-ed to the Orlando Sentinel (”I love Disney World, but wokeness is ruining the experience,” online April 23), Jonathan VanBoskerck, a self-proclaimed Disney World enthusiast and Christian conservative, asserted that recent changes in Disney policies ruined his experience.

VanBoskerck’s describes changes to employee dress code and certain rides throughout the theme park as wokeness that spoil the immersive and magical Disney experience and drifting from the original values of Walt Disney. I beg to differ.

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink: Cinnamon Toast Shrimp
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From: Idiots #10-9

Hey everyone! I don’t know about you but I could really use a drink!

So of course you know that the idea behind this segment is that we have some drinks and talk about anything in the news as long as it doesn’t relate to politics. Well last week there was a bizarre and quite frankly one of the weirdest stories I’ve heard in a while. And it’s one that hits very shockingly close to home! Tell me virtual bartender, what goes well with a story about Cinnamon Toast Crunch? Cinnamon Toast Beer? What is it? What the fuck is a “chunky IPA”? No thanks, I will take my usual Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. Here’s what happened – podcaster Jensen Karp – who’s already a minor celebrity here in Los Angeles as part of a former morning radio show that used to air every day until the whole show was fired over the phone at the start of COVID, found shrimp in the box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch that he bought at Costco. Here’s how that went down:

Writer and podcast host Jensen Karp is trying to get some answers after an unexpected surprise he had while trying to eat a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

He tweeted a photo of his bowl of cereal and wrote, “Ummmm @CTCSquares – why are there shrimp tails in my cereal? (This is not a bit).”

The cereal brand responded and wrote, “We’re sorry to see what you found! We would like to report this to our quality team and replace the box. Can you please send us a DM to collect more details? Thanks!”

CTC later sent another tweet denying that the shrimp tails were in the cereal.

They wrote, “After further investigation with our team that closely examined the image, it appears to be an accumulation of the cinnamon sugar that sometimes can occur when ingredients aren’t thoroughly blended. We assure you that there’s no possibility of cross contamination with shrimp.”

Somehow I don’t think that’s enough! Man, I miss my audience! But anyways, so Mr. Karp found a pair of shrimp tails and some other unexpected prizes in his box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. What makes this even weirder is that General Mills’ corporate PR department offered a completely batshit crazy and totally expected response to the fiasco. And when I say “totally expected”, I mean the exact kind of bullshit PR move you would expect. And this thing then went viral. And I do mean completely viral.

If you’re a devoted fan of Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal and don’t plan to stop any time soon, you should probably turn away now.

It may already be too late for comedian and writer Jensen Karp, who says he found a slew of unappetizing surprises in his breakfast cereal Monday morning.

A spokesperson responded, asking Karp to put the shrimp tails in a pre-paid envelope and send it to them so they can have it checked out.

Karp acquiesced, on one condition. “I’m going to keep one of the two (shrimp tails),” he wrote, “because your last response publicly was super weird and since you’ll be receiving a shrimp tail, I’ll keep one so you don’t try to say it’s sugar and make me look insane?”

It’s unclear what the company had to say to that. In another screenshot posted by Karp, they tried to offer him some vouchers to compensate for the “unpleasant experience” but he refused.

“No,” he wrote. “You just told me it wasn’t shrimp tails.”

Yeah that’s of course the solution is to live under the sea! And this inspired everything from people making their own Cinnamon Toast Shrimp to finding actual Cinnamon Toast Shrimp on the menus at restaurants. But here’s where it gets weird – as more places started picking up the story, the darker it, Mr. Karp is married to Danielle Fischel, who played the character of Topanga on Boy Meets World. But apparently being famous also has an ugly side and especially one that nobody expected from this. And it looks like anyone could have this happen to them if that’s where it goes.

As the post circulated internationally, Karp enjoyed a shining moment of Twitter fame, and granted interviews to media outlets including TMZ and the New York Times. “I’m the new Gorilla Glue Girl, aren’t I?” he wondered — perhaps wistfully? — in a tweet. But all the notoriety also raised suspicions among certain of Karp’s acquaintances, a number of whom suggest he may be an unreliable narrator.

Multiple women identifying themselves as his ex-romantic partners began sharing their own, remarkably similar, impressions of him. They said that Karp was manipulative, controlling, cruel, and that dating him had adversely impacted their mental health. (Karp did not respond to a request for comment from the Cut.) Former co-workers came forward, too — including writer, comedian, and actor Brittani Nichols, who wrote a lengthy thread alleging that leadership at Karp’s rap-battle competition show, Drop the Mic, had to be “talked into hiring a person of color,” among other things, and that he was a terrible employer in general.

There have also been allusions to theft of intellectual property from other podcasters, references to alleged “gaslighting,” and assertions that Karp generally just lies a lot. On the other hand, there have also been defenses of Karp’s character — for example, from Linkin Park guy Mike Shinoda, who called him an “all-around good dude” and praised his talents in comedy and podcasting.

But alas there is a lesson to be learned from all of this. Think of it like the famous Simpsons episode where Homer gets accused of sexual harassment and the more people picked up on the story, the crazier it got. But we can all learn from this and if you want a story to go viral, make sure that you don’t have any demons in your closet before you start turning on the thing that could potentially make you famous, because it could come back to bite you in the ass!

Disgusting. That's what everyone thought when they first heard about the saga of the cinnamon-and-sugar encrusted shrimp tail found in a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
The gross object was tweeted by Los Angeles-based writer Jensen Karp, who said he found pieces of a crustacean in his cereal earlier this week. His thousands of followers responded — and so did Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

The back-and-forth quickly devolved into chaos. The cereal brand owned by General Mills responded via Twitter to Karp, saying that the shrimp-tail-like objects weren't seafood, but an "accumulation of the cinnamon sugar that sometimes can occur when ingredients aren't thoroughly blended." It added: "We assure you that there's no possibility of cross contamination with shrimp."

Admittedly, it's a silly story. But for Tom Meyvis, a professor of marketing and consumer behavior at New York University's Stern School of Business, there's a lesson to be learned here.

Meyvis said the discovery is gross — and that's "very dangerous for food brands." However, how Cinnamon Toast Crunch responded was even worse, he said.

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[font size="8"]Stupidest State 2021 Selection Sunday
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From: [link https://www.democraticunderground.com/100215182336 | Idiots #10-6]

16 states will enter, and only one state will become the new Top 10 Conservative Idiots Stupidest State!

Welcome welcome welcome! We are back for an unprecedented 5th year in a row! Last year our season nearly got canceled because of the COVID-19 pandemic. But now this year we’re in a place to better manage the tournament. Because the circumstances have changed, normally we would go to venues all over the country. But because we’re being advised against that, we’re consolidating everything into a bubble in Phoenix this year! Why Arizona? Because they’re one of the few places that is still allowing live crowds! That said, let’s do this thing!

[font size="6"]Statement From The Commissioner [/font]

Welcome, welcome, welcome!!! As the official commissioner of the NFFSA, it is my honor and privilege to welcome this year’s squad to the tournament! Last year we faced an extraordinary challenge and circumstance, and I want to thank the teams, their staff, and the NFFSA staff for their unrelenting support in carrying out this year’s games. Also, congratulations again to last year’s winner Florida, I hope that they are still enjoying that victory. This year we’ve got some red hot newcomers and some conference changes! Who will come out on top this year? Only time will tell! But our COVID bubble in Phoenix will make things extra exciting. Now to explain the rules, just like last year, this year will feature two matchups in round 1, then one matchup in round 2, then the Final Four, then the NFFSA championship! For Selection Sunday, we will also be providing you with the states, stats, odds, and info that you can use to fill out your brackets! Also new this year – follow the Top 10 Twitter feed for some Bracketology style info on your states! Now let’s do this thing!

[font size="6"]The Batshit Conference [/font]

The Batshit Conference is the oldest and most distinctive conference in the entire NFFSA with 22 states stretching over a good majority of the country. Diversity is the strength to this division, as is complete and utter batshit craziness. These people are not only crazy, they elect crazy. Batshit Conference winners often assert a distinct method of being unable to tell fiction from reality, and the farther out your conspiracy theories are, the better. It’s not enough that they believe in Bigfoot, aliens, and the Loch Ness Monster, these people believe in Pizzagate, Q Anon, and everything else that makes crazy go even crazier! The Batshit Conference: Still Crazy Since 1859!

1. Georgia: Now you might be thinking “Hey wait a minute, Georgia became a blue state in 2020!”. We are here to tell you you’re wrong! You can take Georgia out of the red, but you can’t take the red out of Georgia! This is the state that gave us batshit Q Anon congress critter Marjorie Taylor Greene, and is toughening laws to make it easier for conservatives to vote and harder for everyone who doesn’t have an R next to their name!
Smoking Gun: Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Batshit) became the quickest congress woman stripped from committees because of her beliefs in far right racist conspiracy theories!
Odds: 2:1 Georgia didn’t make the #1 seed for any reason, they had a strong regular season and are looking to win this whole thing!

2. Kentucky: One of the perennial favorites of the tournament has yet to win a title, but that doesn’t mean that they couldn’t win it all this year! The state that has given us our favorite punching bag, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell also gave us Rand Paul! They are currently fighting a recall against governor Andy Beshear, which, as far as we know, has nothing to do with COVID.
Smoking Gun: Like the rest of us, Kentucky is sick of lockdowns and restrictions, but they’re actually considering limiting the governor’s powers on imposing more!
Odds: 5:1 Kentucky had a strong showing in the regular season, but a series of injuries have threatened to derail one of the best franchises in the league. They could go far, or not.

3. South Dakota: A newcomer to the tournament, the Mount Rushmore State had a strong showing last year, hosting a super spreader motorcycle rally at Sturgis in the middle of the worst pandemic in the last 100 years. On top that, governor Kristi Noem is taking one of the most lax approaches to the entire pandemic with an “anything goes” policy. South Dakota has an entire state population less than that of the city of Miami, but they have plenty of representation in Congress with some crazy representatives and senators!
Smoking Gun: At the height of the MAGA movement, the Trump administration met with South Dakota officials to add Trump’s bust to the historic monument.
Odds: 7:1 We were shocked by this team’s strong showing in the regular season. They could pull off some major upsets if capable.

4. Michigan: Now wait, you might be thinking that Michigan is a blue state! Well, you’re wrong – they’re mostly blue, but they have a dark red underbelly. The Wolverine State had a strong showing in the regular season with some stunning upsets and some of the craziest news in the entire country – most of which spawned the alt right protest movement called “The Boogaloo Bois” and Governor Whitmer becoming the target of hardcore Trump fans.
Smoking Gun: Last August, there was a bizarre plot to kidnap governor Whitman, which involved a bunch of alt right terrorists and a PT Cruiser. Yeah that happened!
Odds: 10:1 They are a long shot to win but could pull off some massive upsets if true.

[font size="6"]The Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference [/font]

Excessive greed is the name of the game in the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference. It’s not enough that you have one yacht, your entire family has their own fleet of yachts! Yacht rock is for chumps. You can afford to have the real Pablo Cruise play your next boat party! And who needs frequent flyer miles? You've got your own fleet of private jets and selecting the right one for the occasion is a first world problem known only to you and your other billionaire buddies! And millionaires, really, who needs them at all? These people are billionaires and trillionaires! Well maybe not trillionaires, but these people have more money than you’ll ever see in a lifetime. While you’re drudging through an Amazon warehouse that’s visible from space on your third shift, your boss just bought the next 5 Amazon warehouses and will soon employ half the state! You will bow down to your corporate masters and like it, you worthless peasants! The Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference: Your misery is our pleasure since 1952!

1. Kansas The perennial favorites of the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference have been going strong in the last 5 years. Fraud and billionaire insanity is rampant in Kansas. Kansas is the home to Koch Industries, which recently saw the death of one of the Kochs, and that’s concrete proof that you can’t take it with you! But in addition to the greed, Kansas is rife with insanity and one of the first states to completely lift restrictions all in the name of money!
Smoking Gun: Kansas shut down their unemployment system to deal with rampant, incriminating fraud in the offices!
Odds: 5:1 Kansas is usually the perennial favorite to win this conference, but they had a lot of injuries in the regular season. Expect if they win for them to go far.

2. Wyoming Wyoming is a newcomer to the Fiscal Irresponsibility Conference, but they have had some strong showings this year. In fact so much that your favorite celebrities and business tycoons are leaving Silicon Valley and Hollywood for Jackson Hole. The fresh air, low population, and lack of regulations means you can own plenty of land and not be bothered by the neighbors! It does a mind and wallet good!
Smoking Gun: The state is so broke because of the lack of taxes that they’re considering a whopping $100 million cut to education. That’s gonna leave a mark!
Odds 7:1 : Clear underdogs in the tournament, they could turn out to be a Cinderella story if they beat the reigning champs.

3. Nevada: The casino and gambling industry took a nose dive when COVID-19 hit as the once bustling Vegas strip became a virtual ghost town almost literally overnight. While many of Vegas’ most prominent institutions, like MGM and Caesar’s, are now finding new homes online, Vegas is looking to rebuild their tourism industry. As long as you don’t count the socially distanced homeless people sleeping in the casino parking lots.
Smoking Gun: The cancellation of Reno’s famed Burning Man festival cost the state a whopping $3 billion in much needed tourist revenue.
Odds: 7:1 The Silver State has a lot of competition in this category but they got hot at the right time so expect them to go far.

4. Iowa: The Hawkeye State makes its’ long awaited return to the conference championships and they’re out looking for revenge! There’s lots of farmland in Iowa and with it comes excessive greed and hardcore racism! Yes, the state that gave us Charles Grassley and Steve King has reelected these old racist coots for who knows how many terms they’ve served? And on the home front things look scarier and more dire than ever, and it really shows.
Smoking Gun: In a half assed attempt to reopen the state to revive the economy, Gov. Reynolds did not consult experts prior to lifting restrictions!
Odds: 7:1 – very evenly matched in this conference, they are looking to make a big splash in this year’s tournament!

[font size="6"]The Gun Nut Conference [/font]

If you’ve got an itchy trigger finger, a bullet-proof vest, and a massive safe full of the latest in fully automatic and semi-automatic protection, then this is the conference for you! You carry your guns in your belt, your sleeve, and your ankle holster, because you never know when you can't be too quick on the quick draw! It’s the conference where the debate between concealed carry and open carry is considered a contact sport! The cops will pull you over and ask for your driver’s license and your NRA membership. Waiting periods are for chumps! You want your guns and you want them now, and it doesn’t matter who you have to stomp on! Why not take your gun to Chili’s? You’re a raging maniac and you’ve deserved that write. There’s no amount of firepower that will satisfy you, you want all the guns and all the ammo! The Gun Nut Conference: Shooting first and asking questions later since 1896!

1. Florida: What is there to say about the Sunshine State that hasn’t already been said? The state once referred to as “America’s Wang” by Homer Simpson, is the home to Miami, which is where Trump lives now, and Orlando, which recently hosted CPAC. Florida loves them some guns, they have one of the highest capita of gun owners in the country, and they’re not afraid to use them! And in Florida you’re allowed to carry your guns everywhere.
Smoking Gun: Florida is proposing a law that would allow open carry of guns in churches! What could go wrong there?
Odds: 2:1 Last year’s champions are going to give any competitors a run for their money – provided that Florida Man doesn’t screw up first!

2. Texas: Our 2019 reigning champion loves them some guns and they are looking to make a comeback after getting trounced by last year’s reigning champion Florida. They say everything’s bigger in Texas – the guns, the spectacles, the COVID cases, and even the people! But big guns aren’t the only thing Texas has going for it! In fact they also harbor some old timey apocalyptic end of the world fantasy religion! Carrying out the apocalypse and doing it large, that’s the Texas way!
Smoking Gun: Texas’ complete lack of environmental restrictions meant the state suffered one of its’ worst climate change disasters in history!
Odds: 2:1 The odds on favorite to win this year’s conference and even the odds on favorite to win the Layover League, expect them to go far!

3. Idaho The Gem State switched back to the Gun Nut Conference after bowing out early last year, but they’re not giving up! Last year their gun credentials are strong! Idaho bought more guns than anyone else in the entire country, and this is during a raging pandemic! And rural Idaho (read every city in the state not named Boise) is packing some serious heat, and is a hotbed for NRA membership and you can bet that your neighbors are carrying!
Smoking Gun: After a record year of school-related shootings, Iowa is looking to pass a law aimed at allowing people to carry guns in school, what could go wrong there?
Odds: 7-1 Iowa had a strong showing at the beginning of the season but then injuries plagued their team. But they are looking to rebuild and go far.

4.Oregon The Badger State is looking to lick its’ chops after getting a serious beat down last year and they’re not going out quietly. Oregon may be the home to liberal utopia Portland, but Portland has become the battleground city for weekly cage matches between the Proud Boys and Antifa. Outside of Portland isn’t much better – the firearm rules all and it’s inspired some people to do some extremely crazy things, like take over bird sanctuaries. Oregon packs some serious heat and they’re not afraid to use it either!
Smoking Gun: Oregon’s GOP proposed a controversial law that would allow individual jurisdictions to decide open carry laws. What could go wrong there?
Odds: 9-1 A very long shot, they’ve got some strong competition ahead. But if they stay healthy they could shock the pundits.

[font size="6"]The Family Values Conference [/font]

All things are about Jesus in the Family Values Conference! The Bible Belt is proudly worn on your waist, sleeve, and magic underwear in this conference, where something is put in the holy water and it’s not the hand of God, either! Who needs the government when your parish is your governor? The lord of all things holy watches over each and every resident in these states, and going to church is the only form of entertainment most have! While you’re out committing those sins, you godless heathen, your electors are looking to strip away your rights and give them to the church, making the church the most powerful entity out there. It’s the states where the Red Hot Chili Peppers are replaced with Hillsong United on the radio and there’s more Chik-Fil-A locations than there are Starbucks. If you’re counting down the days until the rapture and wondering which prayer to say before breakfast, then the Family Values Conference is for you! The Family Values Conference: Proudly converting the non-believers since 1896!

1. Indiana The Sooner State got bumped up to the #1 seed this year after an abysmal showing last year. The state that gave us our now former Vice President, Mike Pence, also gave us Trump Supreme Court justice Amy Comey Barrett! And what’s fueling Indiana’s rise to the top? A super-secret underground Catholic Cult called People Of Praise that originated in South Bend at Notre Dame and came into the spotlight during the nomination!
Smoking Gun: People Of Praise has earned comparisons to an obscure Nazi cult from the 1940s, that can’t be good, right?
Odds: 2 – 1 They owned the regular season this year and impressed the judges enough to get bumped to the #1 seed! Expect them to go very far.

2. Ohio: The Buckeye State has some of the largest and oldest congregations in the entire United States of America. The home to The Ohio State University (don’t forget the “the”, damn it) and Jim Jordan is also the home to some old school fire and brimstone religion. The state is also home to some of the strictest abortion laws in the entire country! And they are going to be a force to be reckoned with in this conference!
Smoking Gun: Ohio’s controversial heartbeat law echoes the one recently passed in South Carolina that could deal a serious blow to women’s rights.
Odds: 5:1 They had a strong showing in the regular season but got hammered by injuries, playing #1 seed won’t help them but they could score a major upset if healthy enough.

3. Mississippi: The Magnolia State has a small but very loyal fanbase that keeps them coming back for more. The state has elected some absolutely crazy leaders in the last 20 years and is currently led by Tate Reeves, a man who is an old school fire and brimstone religious man who believes that Biden’s policy regarding trans people is a “social experiment”. Mississippi has also proposed numerous religious liberty cases, cementing their Bible belt beliefs!
Smoking Gun: Thanks to Mississippi’s religious nuts, they only have one abortion clinic in the entire state – which did not receive any medication in the last year thanks to a SCOTUS ruling.
Odds: 7:1 They are a long shot to win but could shock the conference if they pull off an upset against a 1 or 2 seed.

4. Arkansas Arkansas was one of the original winners of this conference. While they sat out last year due to injuries, they are coming back strong this year! The Natural State is a religious conservative playground with many small towns and many large churches! They’re also home to former governor Mike Huckabee. Arkansas also has one of the highest divorce rates in the entire country. The religious nuts in the state also oppose hate crimes bills and embraces old school LGBT restrictions!
Smoking Gun: Arkansas is planning a bill that would allow medical providers to discriminate based on religious reasons!
Odds: 7:1 They had a rocky regular season but could pull off an upset or two if healthy enough.

[font size="4"]The Schedule: [/font]

We’re doing things a bit differently this year because of COVID travel restrictions but here we go!

[font size="4"]The Bracket: [/font]

Here's the brackets! Fill them out and post your predictions!

[font size="4"]Next Week: [/font]

We are taking a week off but to kick things off starting on 3/18 it’s a battle of the Batshit as #3 South Dakota takes on #4 Michigan, while over in the Family Values conference, #1 Ohio takes on #2 Indiana in a rivalry showdown!

[font size="4"]And Now This [/font]

Folks, before we get out of here, we have our first live performance of 2021! I’m extremely honored to welcome one of my all time favorite bands, their new album is called “Medicine At Midnight”. Playing their song “No Son Of Mine”, give it up for the one, the only, Foo Fighters!

See you next week!


Host: Initech
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded At: Observatory OC, Santa Ana, CA
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