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Initech's Journal
Initech's Journal
May 1, 2015

Stephen Hawking Gives Existential Advice To One Direction Fans

Even one of the most brilliant minds in the entire universe has a sense of humor.
May 1, 2015

Dumb Criminals: Florida (Obviously) Couple Caught With $300 Of Meat In Their Pants

*insert your own joke here*

A woman with a hankering for steaks and pork ribs traveled 26 miles to steal them from a Winn-Dixie in DeLand, Volusia County sheriff’s deputies said.

The trip didn’t go well for Doris Rowe, 48, of Mount Dora who dropped some pork ribs as she hit a store manager in the neck and escaped in a car waiting for her in the store’s parking lot, Volusia County sheriff’s deputies said.

Rowe and the driver of the getaway car, Kenneth Edwards, 54, who were caught Tuesday afternoon in a traffic stop made by DeLand police, were each charged with grand theft and robbery, court records show.

Rowe and Edwards were being held in the Volusia County Jail on Wednesday, each on $20,000 bail, records show.

After getting arrested, the duo gave investigators an idea how the meat heist developed, reports state.


April 29, 2015

Dumb Criminals: Florida (Obviously) Man Arrested Wearing "I Do Dumb Things" T-Shirt


Naples Police arrested a man responsible for vehicle burglaries near beach parking areas during the months of February and March.

Police investigated several vehicle burglaries that were reported at the beach parking areas located in the central portion of the city. During the investigation, police identified the suspect as David Durham, 40, of Naples.

On April 23rd, Durham was arrested and charged for three vehicle burglaries.

One burglary occurred on February 22 at the 1st Avenue North beach access. Durham was charged with burglary of a conveyance, grand theft and criminal mischief for the burglary.

The second burglary occurred on March 21 at the 6th Avenue North beach access. Durham was charged with burglary of a conveyance and criminal mischief for this burglary.


Can't blame a guy for honest advertising.
April 29, 2015

Dumb Criminals: Alaska Pizza Thieves Try To Sell Stolen Pies To Cops


Two Gambell men were arrested for burglary and theft Sunday when they stole 80 pizzas from a store and tried to sell them to the on-duty police, Alaska State Troopers wrote in a dispatch.

Troopers in Nome received reports of a burglary at the Gambell Native Store warehouse at around 10:00 a.m. Sunday in the village of Gambell.

Investigations revealed that 29-year-old John Koozaata and 21-year-old Lewis Oozeva of Gambell broke into to the warehouse early in the morning and stole five cases of frozen pizzas which amounted to 80 pizzas valued at about $1,100.

"Village police officers received their strongest investigative lead when Koozaata and Oozeva called the Gambell Police Department, attempting to sell the pizzas to the on-duty police officers," troopers wrote.


April 24, 2015

Dumb Criminals: California Man Breaks Into House, Instead Makes Tater Tots And Sleeps On Couch

A Placerville man was arrested in Petaluma Thursday afternoon after he broke into a house, had himself a snack of tater tots and set down on a sofa to take a nap, only to be discovered by the startled resident, police said.

Around 2 p.m., the homeowner was minding her own business in an upstairs bedroom on the 1600 block of Caulfield Lane. For one reason or another, she decided to venture to the first floor, where she found a man — later identified as 44-year-old James Adams — peacefully snoozing on the sofa.

Seeing as how the man was a stranger, the woman retreated in fright back to her bedroom, where she locked the door and called police.


April 23, 2015

Dumb Criminals: British Tourist Arrested After Urinating In Hotel Ice Machine


A man from England has been charged after he was accused of urinating in an ice machine at Hard Rock Hotel, according to the Orlando Police Department.

The incident happened around 12 a.m. Tuesday at the hotel at 5800 Universal Blvd.

A security officer told police that he was approached by a guest in the lobby who informed him there was a very intoxicated guest in the hotel. The security officer was taken by the guest to the intoxicated person, identified by police as Andrew Wood, 41.

The security officer approached Wood and saw him urinating in an ice machine, the arrest report said.

Police said the security officer attempted several times to get the guest to identify himself and tell him what room he was staying in.

The guest refused to identify himself and became very uncooperative and combative, and was becoming very loud and disturbing hotel guests, according to Orlando police. That is when the security officer called Orlando police.


April 19, 2015

Indiana Gov. Mike Pence Sees Sharp Drop In Approval Rating After Religious Freedom Law

April 16, 2015 Indiana Gov. Mike Pence spent the week telling reporters, "I think the difficult time that Indiana just passed through two weeks ago is behind us."

But a new poll released Thursday suggests the governor could have a tough time recovering from the controversy surrounding Indiana's "religious freedom" law.

The poll, from Howey Politics and conducted by a Republican-affiliated research firm, said that 46 percent of voters disapprove of Pence while 45 percent approve of him.

That approval rating is double digits below Pence's performance in other recent polls in the state. A January survey from Public Opinion Strategies conducted for Americans for Prosperity put Pence's approval at 66 percent, and a poll from February for the Indiana Association of Realtors had Pence at 62 percent.

Howey Politics editor Brian Howey described the hit to Pence's public profile as "significant, if not historic," adding: "In the 20 years that HPI has been publishing ... an Indiana governor has never experienced this kind of survey decline in this short time frame."


This law was an epic fail. Don't let the door hit you on the way out!
April 19, 2015

Dumb Criminals: Brooklyn Theif "Diaper Don" Caught After Scamming Stores For Thousands

Holy crap!

A 24-year-old Brooklyn man is accused of toddling off with thousands of dollars worth of diapers from area grocery stores, officials said Friday.

Kevin Hargrove was arrested for the dirty deeds at his Bushwick home Thursday, cops said.

He is accused of swapping the price codes on diapers inside Stop & Shop supermarkets on Long Island with tags from 99-cent items and then using the self-checkout.

He most often substituted the tag from a disposable pie plate, officials said.

“If I had to guess I’ve hit every Stop & Shop in New York, New Jersey and Connecticut,” an apparently unremorseful Hargrove told cops, according to court papers. “I’ve been doing this so long I can’t remember.”


First line of that article says it all!

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