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Initech

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Member since: Sat Apr 2, 2005, 03:11 PM
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Top 10 Conservative Idiots Minis #3: The Wizards Of Covfefe Edition


Top 10 Conservative Idiots Minis #3: The Wizards Of Covfefe Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Is there any advertisement on the radio that isn’t about cars? I swear to the highest of gods – every single ad on the radio is for car companies, or car insurance, or car parts, or oil changes, or car repairs, or accident attorneys, I could go on and on! I mean it’s crazy. And it’s all the same ads too. How many times do I need to hear about BMW making “the most innovative car in its’ class”? And it’s the 7 series – a car that very few of us could afford in the first place! And then after that – it’s one of my favorite punching bags – pay day loan vendors, who as John Oliver have pointed out – are some of the biggest vultures on the planet. They’re the Bain Capital of the poor people of America. Unless some of these car companies start sponsoring my show! Then by all means come in! Don’t be shy! Ah that’s enough of the intro. But first Stephen Colbert is back and he’s body slamming his arch enemies Gianforte style:



The Top 10 is still on hiatus this week, but you’re getting a taste, yes, a taste of what you can expect for the full edition when we return on June 7th. For this mini edition of the Top 10 we have just three items on it again. Last week we did a deep dive on Sean Hannity vs Seth Rich, and now he might be gone from Fox News because of it. But that’s not going to be the subject for this mini edition. The number one slot is going to be of course Donald Trump (1). So Trump last night put out a tweet that literally shut down the internet while people tried to figure out what it means. And there’s other madness that we’re going to tell you about. In the number 2 slot we’re going to play a new game called “Who’s The Snowflake”? Because there’s so much in the news of the snowflake, from Kathy Griffin’s stunt to the Alamo Drafthouse, white male SWJ snowflakes are losing their collective shit. So we’re going to see just who the real snowflakes are, Scooby Doo style! Ree hee hee hee! And in the number 3 slot, I’m normally a Ducks fan, but we have about the Nashville Predators and the incident with the catfish. I really think the NHL needs to do something about dead animals being thrown on the ice during games, but the sheer effort put in by this guy is pretty impressive. And the sheer stupidity from the Pittsburgh Police is also pretty impressive. So Pittsburgh Pengiuns – you just got catfished! Literally! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!


[font size="8"]Donald Trump Vs. Kathy Griffin[/font]


Donald Trump has had quite the eventful 48 hours since he got back from his World Deplorable Tour 2017 (by the way how great would it be if a band named their tour that?). first up, he had a tweet that literally shut down twitter with both liberals and conservatives trying to figure out – what the fuck did he mean by that? Let’s throw that tweet up there!



So what did he mean by that? Let’s explore further.

WASHINGTON — And on the 132nd day, just after midnight, President Donald Trump had at last delivered the nation to something approaching unity — in bewilderment, if nothing else.

The state of our union was … covfefe.

The trouble began, as it so often does, on Twitter, in the early minutes of Wednesday morning. Trump had something to say. Kind of.

"Despite the constant negative press covfefe," the tweet began, at 12:06 a.m., from @realDonaldTrump, the irrepressible internal monologue of his presidency.

And that was that.

A minute passed. Then another. Then five.

Surely he would delete the message.
http://www.tampabay.com/news/politics/national/social-media-rushes-to-define-trumps-covfefe-tweet/2325697




So yeah Trump has since deleted the Tweet, but I have to say this exchange between the Wizards of Convfefe wins the internet:




But before we get into Kathy Griffin yesterday, we have to talk about the Trump Loot Crate for a minute. Yes this is a real thing! In case you're not #MAGA'ing it enough, for the low price of $70 a month, you can have a giant box of bullshit mailed to you every month!

If there’s one thing the Trump administration is really good at, it’s plunging headfirst into self-parody. Sean Spicer hiding in the bushes, the racist travel ban being repeatedly shot down because of how many times Trump confirmed that it’s a racist travel ban, and Pope Francis’ utter disgust for Trump would all be very funny if the administration weren’t still so terrifying, but Trump and his team may have just come up with one of their most ridiculous stunts yet.

It’s called the Big League Box, because Trump can’t handle the fact that people think he says “bigly.” It’s basically a subscription service like Birchbox or Loot Crate, but with Trump garbage instead of beauty products and Funko Pop! figures. As reported by The Cut, the box will provide subscribers with “a handpicked bundle of exclusive and vintage OFFICIAL Donald J. Trump merchandise delivered to your door.” The use of “vintage” there seems to imply that these boxes will include a bunch of unsold Trump merchandise from the campaign, with his team presumably clearing out a warehouse somewhere to make room for the Trump 2020 merchandise he’s probably stocking up on already.
http://www.avclub.com/article/trump-fans-can-now-sign-big-league-subscription-bo-256062




I would have liked it better if they had called it the "Bigly Box". But then it got ugly when Kathy Griffin tweeted her latest photo shoot. I hate this story, I now hate Kathy Griffin, and I will say to her what I’ve said to literally every conservative since the election – fuck you! Yeah. You don’t go there, and I think this is one line both liberals and conservatives agree you don’t cross. But you know what? Trump isn’t going to need help dying, besides that he’s already dead on the inside. His maker is most likely going to be a heart attack, and you might want to get the Sad Hulk Music ready:



Honestly, after five months of this president, same.

The first five months of Donald Trump's presidency have been an absolute disaster for women, black people, brown people, gay people, trans people, people fleeing atrocities, people with depression, people with anxiety problems, people who enjoy nuanced discussions of politics, people who enjoy never even thinking about politics, people who have been to school, people who plan on going to school one day but haven't gotten around to it yet, people who hope the concept of "school" will continue to exist for the foreseeable future, and Sean Spicer.

And yet, despite the fact that this administration has sucked for pretty much everybody, it's possible that the person it has sucked most for is none other than Donald Trump himself. Okay, it's still been way worse for most of the people in the above groups, but that doesn't mean it hasn't been hard on Trump, a man who doesn't believe in exercise. In fact, if a new CNN report is to be believed (and it is, because it's a real news organization despite what both Donald Trump and Jeff Zucker say), Trump's hurricane of scandals has left him a broken man.
http://www.gq.com/story/donald-trump-weight-gain




Well, not to rub salt on the wound or anything but this is what Kathy Griffin did, and man the deplorables are fuming but they must have forgotten all the violent death threats they made to Obama over the years. To that I say, eat a steaming bag of shit! OK thanks for playing!

Kathy Griffin wants Donald Trump's head ... but she wants it bloody and detached from his body.

The comedian posed for the gory shot during a photo session with famed photog Tyler Shields, who's known for edgy, shocking pics. We got the pic before the release.

During the photo shoot, Kathy joked that she and Tyler would need to move to Mexico once the pics got released, for fear they'd be thrown in prison.

Trump's critics have skewered him for inciting violence with his speech. Did Kathy do the same?
http://www.tmz.com/2017/05/30/kathy-griffin-beheads-donald-trump-photo-tyler-shields/


WTF was she thinking? We won’t post that here because we don’t want to encourage this sort of thing, but it did lead to Kathy Griffin getting dumped from the company that makes Squatty Potty, and by the way what is the moral code for the people who manufacture the Squatty Potty?

“We were shocked and disappointed to learn about the image Ms. Griffin shared today, it was deeply inappropriate and runs contrary to the core values our company stands for,” wrote CEO Bobby Edwards in a statement sent to Fox News. “In response, Squatty Potty has suspended its ad campaign featuring Ms. Griffin. We have acted swiftly and decisively to demonstrate our commitment to a culture of decency, civility, and tolerance.”
http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2017/05/31/squatty-potty-drops-kathy-griffin-after-photo-shoot-with-bloodied-trump-mask-secret-service-to-investigate-says-report.html


And her getting fired from CNN:

It's Kathy Griffin who's been cut off ... by CNN, because she was just fired by the network, which means she will not ring in 2018 with Anderson Cooper.

The network is reacting to the photo Kathy took, holding a bloody, beheaded image of Donald Trump. Her apology clearly wasn't enough for CNN.

As we reported, Anderson Cooper also lashed out at his former co-host and friend, saying, "For the record, I am appalled by the photo shoot Kathy Griffin took part in. It is clearly disgusting and completely inappropriate."
http://www.tmz.com/2017/05/31/kathy-griffin-fired-cnn-new-years-eve/




By the way, conservatives, we liberals don’t encourage this sort of thing either. So to that I say…




[font size="8"]Who’s The Snowflake?[/font]


So one of our favorite punching bags here at the Top 10 is the White Male Snowflake. You know conservatives love to call out liberals as “snowflakes” who need “safe spaces”. Well there’s no one who loves safe spaces than conservative white males. And these shining gems of humanity (sarcasm) have been complaining a hell of a lot about various things. Because, reasons. Everything from movie theaters to TV shows to advertisers has been under the scrutiny of the white male social justice warrior. Yes – one of our favorite punching bags here at the Top 10. So we’re going to debut a new game here called *cue reverb* “WHO’S THE SNOWFLAKE?????”. Behind door #1 – Star Trek! Did you know the inclusion of minorities of both race and gender is akin to white genocide? Neither did we!



So behind door number one, there’s the Alamo Drafthouse. By the way I suggest checking out their Facebook and Twitter feeds, they’re owning the trolls hard.

On Wednesday, Alamo Drafthouse Austin announced it would hold a women-only "Wonder Woman" screening when the movie debuts in June.

"Apologies, gentlemen, but we’re embracing our girl power and saying 'No Guys Allowed' for one special night at the Alamo Ritz," the movie theatre wrote. "And when we say 'Women (and People Who Identify As Women) Only,' we mean it. Everyone working at this screening — venue staff, projectionist, and culinary team — will be female."

Some people did not respond well to the announcement and perceived exclusion.

"Alamo Drafthouse, will there be a male only screening for Thor: Ragnarok or a special screening for IT that's only for those who identify as clowns?" one Facebook commenter wrote.

"We might actually have to steal that clown idea," the Alamo Drafthouse account responded. "Thanks Ryan!"

In fact, it seems that whoever is running the Austin Alamo Drafthouse Facebook account has a snappy response for critics across the board. Here's a sampling of how the theater is responding:

http://www.businessinsider.com/alamo-drafthouse-ladies-only-wonder-woman-screening-incites-backlash-2017-5




So who’s the snowflake in this case? Why it’s none other than the white male armchair commandos who railed on the Alamo Drafthouse. I may have to make a trip to see a movie at one sometime in the near future. Now behind door number two… Chuck Woolery. So I ask you again…



Chuck Woolery, the well-coiffed former Wheel of Fortune and Love Connection host, has recently complained that his right-wing views have prevented him from finding work in Hollywood. His foray, via Twitter, into the complex relationship between the European Jewish diaspora, German philosophy and the rise of socialism in 20th century Russia is unlikely to have Burbank's best producers rushing to their phones.

Woolery is no neophyte to the profitable business of attacking and riling liberals and Democrats, often with lines that could have been borrowed from Rush Limbaugh. For example, when telling FOXBusiness earlier in May that his politics stopped him getting work, he added his observation the “left is really operating on all German ideas instead of American ideas.” While this could be a reference to the moral philosophy of Enlightenment-era Immanuel Kant, it far more likely an allusion to Adolf Hitler.

Woolery has also made known his suspicion of Islam, tweeting last week in response to the suicide bombing in Manchester, England.

While he may no longer be a television mainstay, Woolery is the host of a short podcast, Blunt Force Truth, in which he uses his once-ubiquitous baritone to harangue the right’s favorite targets: “liberal nitwits,” “socialist” Europe and the Arab World. One recent segment, for example, involved a tortured joke about liberals and “rectal cranial infusion,” whatever that is. The New York Times, in a measured assessment, called him “a firebrand who takes particular delight in fricasseeing liberal celebrities.”

http://www.rawstory.com/2017/05/game-show-host-chuck-woolery-accused-of-anti-semitism-after-series-of-controversial-tweets/




Wait, wait – we’re taking political advice from the guy who hosted this show?



So who’s the snowflake? Why it’s Chuck Woolery! Now behind door number 3, who else is a huge snowflake who needs their safe space? Why it’s Sean Hannity who – not only won’t let the Seth Rich murder go after his network retracted the story – he’s still trying to push it! And this just… WTF.

"To counteract these fascistic tactics, #StoptheScalpings has decided to fight fire with fire," the Media Equalizer story says. "As long as Media Matters continues to attack conservatives, we will return them the same kindness."

"We begin with Rachel Maddow who has been the biggest purveyor of lies and propaganda in the media today. Like Media Matters, we will now inform the public and the advertisers about who they are financing," it continues.

"While we prefer not to be involved in this type of effort, we need to be on equal footing. We will continue to announce the advertisers that finance these efforts and support these hosts who allow lies and conspiracy theories to permeate the airwaves." The Media Equalizer article includes contact info for companies that advertise on Maddow's show.

Hannity earlier this month said he opposed boycott efforts when conservatives tried a similar pressure campaign on late-night host Stephen Colbert.
http://thehill.com/media/335610-hannity-shares-call-to-target-maddows-advertisers


Who’s the snowflake? Why it’s Sean Hannity! And that was it for this round of:




[font size="8"]Penguins Get Catfished[/font]


So we actually get to use the bear for this one, because really who else would do this to a catfish? Nashville Predators are the Trump fans of hockey. Prove me wrong, Predators fans! What it’s my show, if I want to talk trash about the hockey team that beat my hockey team, I’m allowed to do so, am I right? I mean what kind of country do we live in where that’s not a right? Oh yeah we live in Donald Trump’s America. So the Pittsburgh Penguins literally got catfished during game 1 of the Stanley Cup finals on Monday. Let’s roll the tape on it, and I’ll put a parental advisory warning on it in case you happen to be viewing if there’s any young children around.



Now let’s roll the tape:



Yeah and I and most of America and Canada were pretty disgusted by this. But the more you do a deep dive on this story, the weirder it gets. But first you might be asking “why?????”?.

The tradition takes inspiration from fans of the Detroit Red Wings, who have been throwing octopuses on the ice in the Motor City since the 1950s. The Red Wings’ tradition, colloquially known as the Legend of the Octopus, started in 1952 when a pair of brothers hurled an octopus on the ice during the team’s playoff run. The Wings went on to sweep the Maple Leafs and Canadiens to win the Stanley Cup, and fans have been doing it in support of them ever since.

When the Predators started playing in 1998, they obviously didn’t have any history like the Red Wings. Detroit was arguably the NHL’s premier franchise at the time, though, and with many people from the Midwest flocking to Nashville, it made the Wings a logical source of inspiration.

So someone decided in 2003 to toss a catfish on the ice, presumably thinking of the Red Wings, and even though the Predators didn’t go on to win the Stanley Cup that year, a tradition was born. Ever since, fans have kept doing it — even if it means tricking a local seafood seller and taping a gross, slimy 20-pound fish to your back in order to get past security. You might still get kicked out, though:
http://www.sbnation.com/2017/5/29/15710698/why-do-predators-fans-throw-catfish-2017-nhl-playoffs




Yeah seriously… WTF? Now you might think we’re done, but here’s where it gets weird. This guy not only admitted it, but he put a hell of a lot of effort into this thing.

A criminal complaint released Tuesday morning in the Pittsburgh catfish tossing gave a brief summary of how the crime was committed but it omitted all the best details.

Jacob Waddell, a 36-year-old Tennessee man, fessed up to the cops that he threw the dead fish but the police report didn’t give the whole complicated story. Waddell went on Nashville radio station 104.5 The Zone on Tuesday afternoon to lay it all out. What follows is a timeline of Waddell’s journey to the fish toss.

Waddell first needed to acquire the catfish. He said he purchased it back home not because Pittsburgh fishmongers were refusing to sell them to Tennesseans but because he thought it would be more fitting to throw a Nashville catfish.

This created a problem for Waddell: How is he supposed to transport a rotting fish 600 miles to Pittsburgh? The solution was to put it on ice in a cooler and drench it cologne and body spray.
https://www.si.com/nhl/2017/05/30/stanley-cup-penguins-predators-catfish-jacob-waddell




Wait wait wait… lets stop there! OK so this guy really thought this through. Which really begs the question “how much Axe Body Spray does it take to conceal the smell of a dead catfish”? I’m presuming a couple of bottles, because you also have to mask the smell of douchebag! Well, it gets weirder than that. Let’s continue.

The next issue was finding a way to sneak the fish into the arena. His initial plan, being from Tennessee, was to slip the fish down the leg of a cowboy boot.

“I tried putting it in my boot but the head was too damn big,” Waddell said. “No matter how much I ran it over with the truck, the head was too damn big.”

Oh yeah, sorry. I forgot to mention the part where he ran it over with his truck. In an attempt to make the fish a more manageable size, Waddell brought it over to his cousin Troy’s place. Troy filleted it and cut out half of the spine, which is why it looked so mangled on TV. Waddell also attempted to flatten the fish by running it over with his pickup truck, “so it’d fit down my crotch.”

When the boot scheme failed, Waddell decided to put the mutilated fish down the front of his pants.




WTF is wrong with this guy? This is the most Nashville story ever! I mean the sheer effort of this guy to sneak this catfish in, I have to say, is pretty damn impressive! Running over a catfish repeatedly and then stuffing it down your pants? That’s a “hold my beer and watch this” kind of psycho! Now here’s where it gets even weirder. So after the arrest here’s what the Pittsburgh Police had to say about it:

Jacob Waddell, a Nashville Predators fan who threw a catfish on the ice during Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Final between the Predators and Pittsburgh Penguins, has been charged with "disorderly conduct, disrupting a meeting and possessing instruments of a crime," according to CBS Pittsburgh.

According to TMZ Sports, Waddell could be facing six years in prison if convicted on all charges.

Waddell threw the catfish on the ice at the 16:40 mark of the second period, causing play to be stopped as the fish was removed from the ice. He was promptly kicked out of the PPG Paints Arena.
http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2712544-predators-fan-charged-after-throwing-catfish-on-ice-during-game-1-vs-penguins




First of all, PPG Paints Arena might be one of the worst stadium names in the country. It ranks right up there with the Mattress Firm Ampitheater, the Smoothie King Center, the KFC Yum! Center, and the Talking Stick Resort Arena. And guess what? We didn’t have to make any of those stadium names up – they’re all real! Thank you! But what constitutes as “disrupting a meeting”? Really? That’s the charge, Pittsburgh Police? But this isn’t the only weird thing being thrown on the ice.

While Penguins fans (so far) haven’t joined the trend of throwing anything weird on the ice (along with the Predators’ catfish and the Red Wings’ octopuses, other teams’ fans have thrown hamburgers and plastic rats), Pittsburgh fans have done at least one weird thing.

Last year, some fans got hold of an eight-foot replica of a hammerhead shark and strung it up from a crane before the team went on to win the Stanley Cup finals over the San Jose Sharks.

Trying for their second Stanley Cup win in a row, the Penguins again host the Predators for Game 2 on Wednesday night. Expect more catfish.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/early-lead/wp/2017/05/30/hailed-as-a-hero-in-nashville-predators-fans-catfish-toss-has-him-facing-charges-in-pittsburgh/?utm_term=.104900e24a83


OK seriously NHL stop it, just stop it.



Top 10 Conservative Idiots returns June 7th! See you then!

WaPo: The GOP Inherits What Trump Has Wrought

The darker forces that propelled President Trump’s rise are beginning to frame and define the rest of the Republican Party.

When GOP House candidate Greg Gianforte assaulted a reporter who had attempted to ask him a question Wednesday night in Montana, many saw not an isolated outburst by an individual, but the obvious, violent result of Trump’s charge that journalists are “the enemy of the people.” Nonetheless, Gianforte won Thursday’s special election to fill a safe Republican seat.

“Respectfully, I’d submit that the president has unearthed some demons,” Rep. Mark Sanford (R-S.C.) said. “I’ve talked to a number of people about it back home. They say, ‘Well, look, if the president can say whatever, why can’t I say whatever?’ He’s given them license.”

Trump — and specifically, his character and his conduct — now thoroughly dominate the national political conversation.
Traditional policy arguments over whether entitlement programs should be overhauled, or taxes cut, are regularly upstaged by a new burst of pyrotechnics.

The dynamic is shaping the contours of this year’s smattering of special congressional elections and contests for governor, as well as the jockeying ahead of the 2018 midterm elections.

“It’s an entirely different atmosphere,” Michael Steele, a former Republican National Committee chairman, said. “The president isn’t ideological and ideology is no longer the anchor. So when reporters put microphones in candidates’ faces, they’re asking about the president, tweets, character, your moral outlook and not about a particular policy.”
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/analysis-the-gop-inherits-what-trump-has-wrought/ar-BBBy9Iw?li=BBmkt5R&ocid=spartandhp


It's as if we live in a world where the Dark Side has taken over.

White Male Snowflake SJWs Losing Their Minds Over Alamo Drafthouse's Promotion For Wonder Woman

On Wednesday, Alamo Drafthouse Austin announced it would hold a women-only "Wonder Woman" screening when the movie debuts in June.

"Apologies, gentlemen, but we’re embracing our girl power and saying 'No Guys Allowed' for one special night at the Alamo Ritz," the movie theatre wrote. "And when we say 'Women (and People Who Identify As Women) Only,' we mean it. Everyone working at this screening — venue staff, projectionist, and culinary team — will be female."

Some people did not respond well to the announcement and perceived exclusion.

"Alamo Drafthouse, will there be a male only screening for Thor: Ragnarok or a special screening for IT that's only for those who identify as clowns?" one Facebook commenter wrote.

"We might actually have to steal that clown idea," the Alamo Drafthouse account responded. "Thanks Ryan!"

In fact, it seems that whoever is running the Austin Alamo Drafthouse Facebook account has a snappy response for critics across the board. Here's a sampling of how the theater is responding:

http://www.businessinsider.com/alamo-drafthouse-ladies-only-wonder-woman-screening-incites-backlash-2017-5


So who are the snowflakes again? If you're freaking the fuck out over this - you *ARE* the very definition of a snowflake! Thanks for playing!

Oh and Alamo Drafthouse is owning these trolls hard. I love this chain!




Alex Jones Says Jerome Corsi Had Dinner With Pence A Few Nights Ago

ALEX JONES (HOST): Dr. [Jerome] Corsi’s our guest right now. The main reason I got him on this morning is we were approached by folks at the White House at the inauguration saying, “Hey, who’s your White House correspondent going to be?” And they already thought I had a D.C. office, and I’m like, “No, we got to get a D.C. office. I don’t know if I’m going to do it.” The media took that and ran and said, “Oh, Jones says he’s getting them but he doesn’t have them.” You’ve got to have an office, you’ve got to have a driver's license there. Well we got a weekly pass. Corsi’s had stuff like this before, he’s got congressional passes, he’s covered the campaigns, he’s been one of the top political pundits in the country, everybody knows that. And so he got around to getting it. All hell broke loose. Some publications tried to imply we were lying and he wasn’t even there. The truth is most days there’s not even a reason to be there because the president’s gone right now anyways. So this is Corsi that broke three months ago they’re stealing the Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac money. [Treasury Secretary Steven] Mnuchin confirmed that three weeks ago and we got credit. Most of the meetings don’t happen at briefings, they happen at dinners, like he was at one with the vice president a few nights ago. Oop, maybe I’m not supposed to say that.

https://www.mediamatters.org/video/2017/05/23/alex-jones-says-infowars-reporter-jerome-corsi-was-dinner-vice-president-few-nights-ago/216620




It's official: We live in the Matrix.

Top 10 Conservative Idiots Minis #2: The Ballad Of Seth Rich Edition


Top 10 Conservative Idiots Minis #2: The Ballad Of Seth Rich Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Please stop asking for a quote on my auto insurance because we both know that ain’t happening! You didn’t really think I was going to leave you hanging for two weeks, did you? Because what kind of host would that make me? Not a very good one if you ask me! So I’m a Ducks fan. Yeah I’m extremely bitter about the ugly loss in Nashville , and we can’t excuse the Nashville fans for murdering ducks and throwing them on the ice. We wouldn’t murder whatever their mascot is and throw it on the ice, would we? No, so stop doing it. It’s not funny. But we also can’t excuse Nick Ritchie going full Inglorious Basterds, either. And if there’s one thing you don’t do – it’s that you don’t go full Inglorious Basterds. That was just wrong. Anyway I’m done with the Predators, Ottawa or Pittsburgh in 4. Enough of the intro, we’re trying to make this one short. But first we have to play the video of John Oliver covering “Stupid Watergate”.



So you know we live in an era where’s there’s just constant fuck ups coming from every single angle of the Trump administration. And we can’t let this go for too long without making fun it. And it’s been a while since we’ve done a mini edition. And really where can you go after doing a 15 round Stupidest State contest with Texas winning it all? It will be hard to top that, but we shall try. But this has just four entries on it, and we will try to keep it short. And by the way – we’re coming back bigger than ever with a new format on June 3rd! New look, same Top 10 taste! So in the number one slot, we have got to talk about Trump’s (1) trip to Saudi Arabia, which was as you can imagine, a total clusterfuck. In the number 2 slot, we’re going to talk about Donald Trump Supporters (2) because, well, they crazy, and there’s a ton of them this week including the guy who got kicked off a United Airlines flight for wearing a MAGA hat, while fundamentalists offer bizarre reasons why The Donald is tanking. In the number 3 slot is Sean Hannity (3) and we have to talk about his cluster fuck involving Seth Rich who was the victim of a horrific murder. Well if you pay attention to Fox News at all, it was a liberal conspiracy! Except it wasn’t. At number 4, since we like to end on the lighter side, we got to talk about the hack of the latest movie in the Pirates Of The Caribbean series! Yes, a movie about pirates got hijacked by actual pirates! That’s so meta! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!


[font size="8"]Mr. Trump Goes To Saudi Arabia[/font]


Hey everybody! This Tuesday, May 23rd, is World Turtle Day! I wonder how Senate Majority Leader and guy who kind of looks like a cartoon turtle Mitch McConnell feels about that?



Excuse me a minute. So If you’re keeping score at home, at this point in Obama’s first 120 days, he traveled to Ottawa, Canada, London, France, Germany, the Czech Republic, Turkey, Iraq, Mexico, and Trinidad and Tobago. That’s a lot of trips! Which you can all find here. Now contras t that with Trump – who in the first 120 days in his administration has traveled to Mar-A-Lago, Mar-A-Lago, Mar-A-Lago, Mar-A-Lago, Mar-A-Lago, Mar-A-Lago, and just to change things up, a Trump brand golf course in New Jersey. But this week – he made his international debut by going to Saudi Arabia – you know – the country that made religious hatred and beheadings fashionable again – and he did this:

President Trump on Saturday called his first day in Saudi Arabia “tremendous," touting the $110 billion defense deal he signed with Saudi Arabia that day.

In his first remarks to the press after an unusually quiet day spent in the Saudi Arabian royal court, Trump heralded the defense deal he had just signed with Saudi King Salman. “Hundreds of billions of dollars of investments into the United States and jobs, jobs, jobs,” he said, according to a White House press pool report. "That was a tremendous day. Tremendous investments in the United States.”

The White House said the deal will create defense jobs while also reaffirming America's commitment to Saudi Arabia. It will increase Saudi Arabia's defense capabilities, bolstering equipment and services in the face of extreme terrorist groups and Iran, an official said.

"I can't imagine another business day that's been as good for the United States and the Kingdom," Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross told Bloomberg on Saturday.

Read more: http://thehill.com/business-a-lobbying/334380-trump-heralds-tremendous-investments-in-us-by-saudi-arabia




Yes, we literally just gave one of the most hostile countries in the Middle East $110 BILLION, yes BILLION with a B, in free weapons and armory! Which country will they invade? Any takers? Will it be Yemen? Or Yemen’s less successful brother Oman? Or it will be Saudi Arabia’s Mexico – UAE? Or will it be Qatar – which in Devin Townsend’s concept album Ziltoid The Omniscient was the centerpiece for the end of the world? Or will it be Syria? Anyone? But here’s the crazy thing about this whole trip. Guess who went with him? Why it’s none other than Toby “Put A Boot Up Their Ass, It’s The American Way” Keith! And if you can guess the all-male concert was a total snoozefest, you are correct! Because no women are allowed out in public in Saudi Arabia!

Donald Trump may not have delivered on all of those manufacturing jobs he promised, but he won’t be arriving at his first overseas visit empty-handed. Instead, our president will show off one of our last remaining American exports: country singers with two first names. When you think great American pop country singers, you probably think Kenny Chesney or Keith Urban. About ten names further down on that list you’ll find Luke Bryan, a man who is occasionally confused with a lesser country act by the name of Toby Keith. And it is Toby Keith—a man who is not, and will never be, Luke Bryan—who will be performing in Saudi Arabia during Trump’s upcoming presidential visit.

Unlike the majority of Toby Keith concerts, which take place at county fairs or un-bookable inaugurations, this performance will occur in the Saudi capital of Riyadh. The historic nature of the event—the kingdom has only recently begun to support a select roster of entertainment events and concerts—only makes the sub-par talent more disappointing. It’s depressing enough if a Toby Keith concert is the most fun thing you have planned all weekend—imagine if it’s the most exciting event you’ll be attending all year. According to Saudi entertainment website Lammt, which is promoting the show, the concert will require a formal dress code and will be free of charge. Imagine flying 6,000 miles to Saudi Arabia to play a free concert. Imagine that you live in an ultraconservative society where live shows are few and far between, but you still aren’t willing to pay actual money to see Toby Keith.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2017/05/18/toby-keith-to-subject-saudi-arabia-to-an-all-male-welcome-trump-concert


By the way there is tape of this:



Wow, what a diverse crowd! And Toby Keith didn’t get to play any of his staples, like “Courtesy Of The Red White And Blue”, or any of his songs about drinking like “Whiskey Girl”, or “Beer For My Horses”, or “Beers Ago”, or “Red Solo Cup”, or “I Love This Bar”, or “Drinks After Work” because alcohol is forbidden in Muslim society! Which I’m sure killed him inside. But Trump did do a drive by in a golf cart, because, why not?

President Donald Trump’s visit to Saudi Arabia took on a decidedly American flavor on Saturday as he rolled through the National Museum in Riyadh in a luxury golf cart with his wife, Melania, and King Salman past a jumbo television screen showing country singer Toby Keith’s concert.

The president’s daughter, Ivanka Trump, and his son-in-law Jared Kushner followed in another golf cart, according to a report by The Hill.

All night, the museum live-streamed Keith’s high-profile concert in Riyadh, open only to men, in which he performed alongside a lute player, Bloomberg reported.

Keith performed during Trump’s inauguration festivities earlier this year. Riyadh seemed a less obvious venue, considering that some of his best known hits are about drinking or celebrating the U.S. military. His song “Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue” glorifies the U.S. “war on terror” begun after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks.

Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/entertainment/article151819972.html#storylink=cpy




By my favorite thing about this trip – what was Trump doing with the Arab sheiks and that orb? Can we show that?



In reality, Trump had touched the globe as part of an inauguration ceremony for the Global Center for Combatting Extremist Ideology in Ridyah, Saudi Arabia on Sunday. Together, the three leaders placed their hands on the globe to start a film about the center.

The newly-opened center has a large TV wall displaying ongoing extremist activity and aims to come together to stop the spread of violent extremism, the Saudi Gazette reports. It will be used to monitor potential threats of terrorism and, through the help of experts, reveal and confront extremist speech.

Saudi Arabia's Foreign Minister Adel Al-Jubeir said his country wants the US to know that they are "not an enemy" and are committed in the fights against extremist groups like Daesh, also known as the Islamic State.

“We are the second army after the US military in the international coalition against terrorism," Al-Jubeir said. "The efforts will be an effective partnership between the Islamic world and the West in general to combat terrorism."
http://www.businessinsider.com/trump-orb-globe-saudi-arabia-what-was-it-2017-5


Are we sure that’s an orb and not a fidget spinner? Is this Crazy Donnie’s Fancy Fidget Spinners Emporium? Looking for Fidget Spinners? Come to Crazy Donnie’s today! We have all kinds of crazy fidget spinners including this one from Cartier:



What are they doing? Are they summoning the Power Rangers? Trump Rangers!!! GO!!! But I saw some great Photoshops over this, like this one:



And this one:



But then I love that the Church Of Satan had to clarify that what happened on Saturday was *NOT*, and I repeat, *WAS NOT* a Satanic Ritual:

https://twitter.com/ChurchofSatan/status/866453928535236608




[font size="8"]Racists In The News[/font]




Remember when that was a scandal? Oh those were the days! And you know after the terrible concert attack in Manchester yesterday, I almost considered not doing this this week, but hardcore conservative conspiracy theorists like Alex Jones – a poster boy for Rageaholics Anonymous, said this in light of the terror attacks:

Jones: Victims are “the same people -- god love them -- on average who are promoting open borders, bringing Islamists in”

ALEX JONES: Trump didn’t just sign a deal for $350 billion over the next decade, the first tranche $105 billion to be paid out in the next year by Saudi Arabia and United States in an arms deal. He transferred to them linkage into a threat fusion center, the biggest in the world that’s been publicly shown. They won’t show the NSA and FBI threat fusion centers, they won’t show the CIA ones either, but they showed this giant center and I covered it earlier tonight, it’s on Infowars.com. So they’re transferred the weapons, they’re transferred the technology, they’re transferred access into the surveillance grid. And less than 24 hours after President Trump finishes that speech, a big bomb goes off at a pop star’s rock concert bombing a bunch of liberal trendies. The same people -- god love them -- on average who are promoting open borders, bringing Islamists in.

Read more: https://www.mediamatters.org/blog/2017/05/23/alex-jones-criticizes-liberal-trendies-who-were-victims-manchester-terror-attack/216603




Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Fuck you Alex. Oh, that felt good. Yeah, fuck you Alex. And fuck you people who still listen to this crap! Seriously, what are we supposed to do? Not have any fun? Just sit and go to work and church? Hell no. That sounds like hell. Never mind that we *LITERALLY ARMED ISIS*, the conservatives would rather just blame liberals like the heartless assholes that they are. But oh if you think Alex Jones’ comments are horrible, it gets worse! Never mind that we just armed the Saudis, and ISIS was getting their weapons and armory from Saudi Arabia (but don’t tell that to the Trumppers, they’ll dismiss it as fake news!), I give you Theodore Shoebat:


Extremist anti-LGBTQ activist Theodore Shoebat posted a video on his website reacting to the terrorist attack at an Ariana Grande concert in Manchester, England last night in which 22 people were killed. Shoebat, who was featured in a radically anti-gay documentary in 2015 along with various Religious Right activists and Republican elected officials, declared that he has no sympathy for those who were killed or injured because they are all “sodomites-lovers” and “sluts.”

“I really have no sympathy for these people,” he said. “The people who died, the people who were injured, the people who were scared out of their minds, who ran away , I really don’t care. The types of people who go to these concerts are the same types of people who are responsible for the degeneracy that you see in society.”

“They go to these concerts dressed up as whores, dressed up as sluts, they’re pro-sodomite, they’re pro-divorce, they’re pro-infidelity,” Shoebat said. “They want evil, they want decay, they want sodomy, they want Sodom and Gomorrah.”

Shoebat then showed photos of “some sodomite lover” who was injured in the bombing as he declared that Ariana Grande “is a nasty, evil woman.”

http://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/theodore-shoebat-victims-of-manchester-bombing-were-pro-sodomite-sluts-and-whores/




Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! By the way, where have I heard the term “nasty woman” before?



Yeah that’s right. What heartless assholes. Both of them. Speaking of heartless assholes, Christian fundamentalists are offering some various and quite fucked up views of why Donald Trump is tanking. Behind door #1 – it’s end times fundamentalist nut job and Doomsday Prepper lifestyle salesman Jim Bakker:

1. Jim Bakker, televangelist

In an interview with Steve Strang of Charisma News on Thursday, Bakker warned of an assassination attempt against Trump, given that “the apocalypse has already begun.”

“There’s going to be an attempt on our president’s life very soon,” he stated. “The world is marching in the streets against our president, and it is a war.”

“This is the first horse of the apocalypse,” Bakker promised. “The apocalypse has already begun.”

According to Bakker, Trump’s opposition is “the spirit of the Antichrist,” fighting back against God’s miracle: the election of Trump. The strongest indicator of end times for Bakker was the cancellation of ABC’s “Last Man Standing” last week. The show starred Tim Allen, an anomalyous Trump supporter in Hollywood. Conservatives have blamed Allen’s political leanings for the show’s cancellation, despite offering no evidence to support their claims.
http://www.rawstory.com/2017/05/right-wing-christians-have-some-insane-theories-about-why-the-trump-presidency-is-imploding/




Yeah thanks for playing Jim! We have some lovely parting gifts of fear and paranoia for you at the door! Now what’s behind door #2? Why it’s Mississippi pastor Rick Joyner! Tell me discount Jurassic Park founder John Hammond, what say you about this crisis?

2. Rick Joyner, founder MorningStar Ministries

After the Comey memo news broke earlier this week, the Jackson, Mississippi-based pastor took to Facebook to weigh in.

“I think Trump is going to fight,” he predicted. “He’s fighting his own party as much as the other party, he’s fighting in every direction, he’s a fighter, he was made for that… wait and see if he doesn’t prevail.”

Joyner has long attributed Trump’s win to a higher power.

“I believe we have someone even bigger who is setting things up in our country, that it is God himself responding to the prayers of his people, and Trump is being used in an incredible way,” he added.




Dude… how is Trump being used in an “incredible way”? Besides arming the terrorists and making an ass of himself in Isreal? I mean we don’t even have to point out the irony here. First he touches an orb, now he’s touching a wall.



Which may or may not have caused a giant sink hole to open up at his Mar-A-Lago home away from home:

A large sinkhole has formed in front of Mar-a-Lago, the Palm Beach estate belonging to President Trump.

Town officials posted a run-of-the-mill advisory about the sinkhole Monday morning:

"A 4' x 4' sinkhole has formed on Southern Boulevard directly in front of Mar-a-Lago," the traffic alert read. "It appears to be in the vicinity of the newly installed water main. West Palm Beach Utilities distribution crews have secured the area and will most likely need to do some exploratory excavation today."

But where utility workers saw a repair project, the Internet saw a giant opening — for metaphors.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2017/05/22/sinkhole-forms-in-front-of-mar-a-lago-metaphors-pour-in/?utm_term=.44ae558f6a95




So is that the miracle Jesus had in mind that preacher #2 predicted? Is this how you “drain the swamp”? Well, most of Florida is technically swamp land. Just saying. But getting back to our main story of Trump supporters what’s behind door #3?

3. Lance Wallnau, motivational speaker

Wallnau, author of God’s Chaos Candidate: Donald J. Trump and the American Unraveling, believes that women marchers are witches and late-night talk show hosts their “evangelists.”

“It doesn’t matter how good Trump is doing in his first 100 days,” he lamented last week, having dubbed the ongoing Russia investigation “the stupidest, most hilarious thing.”

Wallnau’s solution to the resistance? A mass mobilization of Trump voters.




That is one of the most insane theories I’ve ever seen. That would be like getting in a fender bender and then causing more fender benders to justify the fender bender you were just in. but logic escapes the Trump supporters. Like this guy who was on a flight on – you guessed it – United Airlines! MAGA!!!!

A United Airlines flight from Shanghai to Newark, New Jersey, made an unscheduled stop at San Francisco International Airport on Sunday due to an unruly passenger, authorities said.

United said the man tried to take another passenger’s seat while boarding in Shanghai. He allegedly refused to move and grew increasingly disruptive.

All passengers had to de-plane at SFO while local law enforcement dealt with the matter.

The man was removed from the plane at SFO before the flight continued on its way to the East Coast. Passengers were delayed more than three hours on the already lengthy flight.
http://www.nbcbayarea.com/news/local/United-Flight-Makes-Unscheduled-Stop-at-SFO-Due-Unruly-Passenger-423551703.html





[font size="8"]Sean Hannity[/font]


We were originally going to make this mini edition 3 entries, but the Sean Hannity / Seth Rich clusterfuck is too crazy and stupid to ignore, so we had to make room for it. We need to get a folk musician here to tell The Ballad Of Seth Rich. And Sean Hannity. I mean just… wow. This what we in the business of armchair journalism like to call “going for broke”. Or when you’re in a gigantic hole, as Sean Hannity currently is, you’re supposed to stop digging. Hannity’s hole is currently half way to earth’s core. He may reach China at this point. We have to talk about the horrifying murder of Seth Rich for a minute. You know he was a DNC employee who was murdered outside his home in Washington DC. But if you’ve seen the Sean Hannity show lately, you know Fox News is trying to push an epic clusterfuck of a conspiracy theory surrounding his death.

A controversial Fox News report about the death of a Democratic National Committee employee last summer — a story that had fueled a conspiracy theory that rocketed across right-wing media, but reportedly embarrassed some of the network’s staffers — was retracted by the network Tuesday afternoon.

The report attempted to tie the death of data analyst Seth Rich — who was shot in what Washington police believe was a botched robbery attempt — to the leak of DNC emails to WikiLeaks, which began publishing them two weeks later. The implication, spelled out most directly by former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, was that Rich had provided the emails and was assassinated in retaliation or as part of a coverup. The theory was taken up by right-wing sites like Breitbart and Infowars, and pushed by Fox’s Sean Hannity both on the air and on Twitter.

Hannity continued to push the story on Twitter even as Fox News was publishing its retraction.

“On May 16, a story was posted on the Fox News website on the investigation into the 2016 murder of DNC Staffer Seth Rich,” read the statement. “The article was not initially subjected to the high degree of editorial scrutiny we require for all our reporting. Upon appropriate review, the article was found not to meet those standards and has since been removed.”

https://www.yahoo.com/news/fox-news-retracts-seth-rich-conspiracy-story-hannity-vows-press-201903262.html




How fucking stupid does this story have to get for it to be retracted by Fox News? I mean this is the network that for 15 years has peddled a war against department stores, conservatives and liberals. Which we covered in Idiots #2-4 in "How Is This Still A Thing". And yes Hannity does fail in his attempt to go full Alex Jones on this story. And I mean even the employees at Fox News are disgusted at Hannity’s attempt at trying to bust open a conspiracy theory of “epic?” proportions.

http://money.cnn.com/2017/05/22/media/fox-news-staffers-seth-rich-dnc-sean-hannity/

Fox News staffers expressed frustration on Monday that on-air personalities at their network like prime time host Sean Hannity are continuing to peddle a conspiracy theory about the murder of Democratic National Committee staffer Seth Rich.

"I'm disgusted by it," one Fox News employee told CNN.

The theory resurfaced with a vengeance last week, in part due to an incorrect Fox News story the outlet has yet to retract.* Hannity, along with the hosts of "Fox & Friends," have used their large platforms to push the discredited theory, much to the dismay of the journalists who work at the network. Hannity, who stresses he's not a journalist, posted a flurry of tweets pushing the theory over the weekend. Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, a Fox News contributor who did not respond to requests for comment, floated the theory on the network Sunday.

"It is disappointing because it drags the rest of us down," said a senior Fox News employee, who asked how Fox News leadership could continue to allow Hannity to spread an unproven theory on the network.




And then Fox News detracted the whole story after it was proven to be, oh yeah, a giant steaming load of 100% grade A bullshit:

Fox News said it had retracted a story about the murder of Seth Rich, a former Democratic National Committee staffer who was killed in Washington, D.C. last July and which has provided fodder for Sean Hannity, the network’s longest-serving primetime host. Hannity has in recent days promoted a debunked theory that Rich was killed in exchange for providing internal documents to Wikileaks, prompting statements of outrage from his family.

“On May 16, a story was posted on the Fox News website on the investigation into the 2016 murder of DNC Staffer Seth Rich. The article was not initially subjected to the high degree of editorial scrutiny we require for all our reporting. Upon appropriate review, the article was found not to meet those standards and has since been removed,” the network said in a posting online Tuesday. “We will continue to investigate this story and will provide updates as warranted. ”

Read more: https://www.yahoo.com/tv/fox-news-retracts-debunked-story-murdered-dnc-staffer-184125665.html




But Sean Hannity won’t let it go! He claims to have a “bombshell”. This is why Fake News (*Trump voice*) is such a concern, and Fox News is a huge peddler of fake news bullshit. Maybe even more so than Outbrain, RevContent, and Taboola. But he won’t let it go, and now he’s playing the victim as if he’s the one who didn’t hawk his own bullshit story. And you know his source? None other than king douchebag of the internet – Kim Dotcom!

Kim Dotcom, a New Zealand-based hacker, told Fox anchor Sean Hannity he had evidence to support the Seth Rich conspiracy — and then reportedly tried to hack into Rich’s email.

An in-depth Washington Post story by Dave Weigel, who has been tirelessly documenting the conspiracy that slain DNC staffer Seth Rich was killed because of his contacts with Wikileaks, reports that Rich’s Gmail account, now managed by his father, this week received an email from Mega.com, the website founded by Dotcom:

According to experts and Rich’s family, the emailed invitation from welcome@mega.nz appeared to be an attempt to gain access to Rich’s email. Joel Rich, who maintains his late son’s Gmail account, did not click the link. Meanwhile, Dotcom was promising on Twitter to prove that the younger Rich had been in contact with WikiLeaks — and Fox News host Sean Hannity was telling his 2.37 million Twitter followers to be ready for a revelation.
http://www.mediaite.com/online/kim-dotcom-tried-to-hack-into-seth-richs-email-after-claiming-to-have-evidence-of-conspiracy/




And if this whole thing wasn’t more deserving of a Facepalm, guess what? Hannity not only isn’t letting it go, Fox News retracted the story themselves as bullshit (and how often does that happen?), he says “I RETRACTED NOTHING!!!!!”. Like that’s somehow supposed to make it all OK? For those keeping score at home, it’s liberals – 1, Fox News – 0, and Sean Hannity is somewhere between zero and negative infinity.


Fox News’s Sean Hannity ripped his critics and the mainstream media on his nationally syndicated radio program Tuesday, saying, “I am not Fox.com or FoxNews.com, I retracted nothing.”

His reaction came hours after Fox News retracted a story regarding the 2016 killing of Democratic National Committee staffer Seth Rich after massive outcry over sharing conspiracy theories about the 2016 shooting death.

Right-wing news outlets have sought to link — without evidence — the 27-year-old’s death to Democrat Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign and the WikiLeaks release of hacked emails from her campaign and the DNC.

"For those accusing me of pushing a conspiracy theory, you are the biggest phony hypocrites in the entire world," Hannity said Tuesday.
http://thehill.com/homenews/media/334825-hannity-on-seth-rich-coverage-i-retracted-nothing





[font size="8"]Pirates Of Pirates Of The Carribbean: Hackers Troll No Tales[/font]


Can we get some music for this one?



Yeah! So Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales hits theaters this weekend – May 26th, 2017. But did you know that there’s been a battle between Disney and hackers over the movie’s release? Yes it’s quite literally Pirates Of Pirates Of The Caribbean. Subtitle: Hackers Trolll No Tales. And the story and the battle between Disney and the hackers is quite insane. Here’s more.

UPDATED with comments from former hacker: Disney’s upcoming Johnny Depp film Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales has been pilfered by ransom hackers seeking payment from the studio. The hackers have demanded an enormous amount of money be paid in Bitcoin. Disney is currently working with the FBI and will not pay.

Although Disney CEO Bob Iger did not reveal which movie the ransom hackers claim to have, he did reveal to ABC employees during a town hall meeting in New York on Monday that the incident had occurred, according to a report. The hackers said they would release bits of the film — in increments — if their demands weren’t met. Deadline learned that it was, indeed, Jerry Bruckheimer’s fifth in the Pirates franchise, which is scheduled for release May 26.

Disney would not comment, but insiders said that the company refuse to pay. This follows the same issue Netflix faced when a ransom hacker spilled out 10 episodes of the next season of Orange Is The New Black when Netflix also refused to ante up.

Hector Monsegur, Director of Security Assessments for Rhino Security Labs and a regular expert on the Science Channel series Outlaw Tech, was a former computer hacker who was arrested and then became an FBI informant. He told Deadline that “attribution is probably the hardest thing the FBI is dealing with here.”

Because the FBI has to track attacks backwards, “It’s nearly impossible because you have various hackers from pretty much anywhere. Also, they are aware of techniques to track them down. So you could have an Egyptian hacker who uses Russian software so it looks like it’s Russian but is actually from Egypt.”
http://deadline.com/2017/05/pirates-of-the-caribbean-dead-men-tell-no-tales-hackers-ransom-1202094203/




You know what this is like? This is like that movie cliché where they go to the president or the head of the CIA or FBI and they say “WE DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS!!!”. But in fact as the hackers are quickly learning, unlike the ransom demands of terrorists, piracy does not pay. In fact, it probably never will!

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, due out on 26 May, was only 10 days from release when hackers stole a copy from a post-production company in LA.

They demanded a ransom, believed to be $80,000 (£61,700) – peanuts for a franchise that has pulled in $3bn globally. They threatened that, if the ransom wasn’t paid, they would release the film to torrent sites in chunks, carved up like shark bait.

So far, the film world has reacted with a shrug that suggests the digital pirates have scuppered the wrong vessel. It’s a sign that times have moved on. In 2011, BitTorrent accounted for 23% of US broadband traffic. Now, it is 5%. The equilibrium has shifted. There will always be a minority who see torrenting as their birthright; most, though, have moved on to Netflix and the like. Why deal with popups from adult websites and eyeless malware beasties if you can get thousands of films a month in a safe space for less than the cost of lunch?
Guardian Today: the headlines, the analysis, the debate - sent direct to you
Read more

Family-friendly features are less affected anyway. The Brad Pitt war film Fury was a smash hit on the torrent sites when it was leaked in 2014, yet the remake of Annie, which came from the same cache of films pilfered in the Sony hack, got a fifth of Fury’s downloads. Anything that targets men aged 15-25 still has a life in the torrentlands – other demographics have grown up and moved on.
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/shortcuts/2017/may/17/message-to-pirates-of-the-caribbean-hackers-piracy-no-longer-pays




So how do you troll the trolls in this case? Well Disney had the best response to this madness, and I think the democrats could take a page when debating with trolls, right wing nut jobs, and your racist uncles everywhere:

When Netflix was hit with a similar threat from a hacker, who goes by the name thedarkoverlord, the company issued a statement confirming it was adamant it wasn’t going to give in to their demands. Like Disney, the company said it was going to work with federal investigators, but made no attempt to try and stop the leak beyond that.

“We are aware of the situation,” a statement from Netflix read. “A production vendor used by several major TV studios had its security compromised and the appropriate law enforcement authorities are involved.”

The almost public-facing, laissez-faire attitude Iger and Netflix CEO Reed Hastings have toward the hacks is notable for a couple of reasons. One, people have to assume that things are not as calm behind closed doors. Pirates of the Caribbean and Orange is the New Black are two massive properties for the companies. Disney is going to want to make as much money at the box office as possible, while Netflix isn’t going to want to have to compete with The Pirate Bay for viewers. Secondly, and perhaps most important, both Hastings and Iger have come out in the past against piracy and have commented on how it’s the most destructive force facing their industry.
https://www.polygon.com/2017/5/16/15648504/disney-pirates-caribbean-hack-netflix-orange-new-black




Top 10 Conservative Idiots returns June 7th! See you then!

John Oliver On Trump: Literally The Worst Decision On Everything

John Oliver focused on the past seven days in Trump’s administration on Sunday night, referring to them as “absolutely insane”.

The Last Week Tonight host has repeatedly referred to the situation as Stupid Watergate, “a scandal with all the potential ramifications of Watergate but where everyone involved is stupid and bad at everything”.

He spoke about reports that the president allegedly shared classified intelligence with Russian officials in the White House. “That is the kind of information you shouldn’t even share with your closest friends, which of course in Trump’s case would be the caddy he calls Steve even though his name is Doug, a bucket of KFC chicken, and the ghost of Roger Ailes,” he said.

More has also emerged surrounding former national security adviser Michael Flynn, who apparently told Trump he was already under investigation when he was hired. “Literally every decision in the Trump administration is the worst possible one,” Oliver said.

https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2017/may/22/john-oliver-donald-trump-white-house-scandals




John Oliver Does A John Oliver Story In 3 Minutes



John Oliver: Stupid Watergate



John Oliver does it again!

Wife of Soundgarden's Cornell calls suicide 'inexplicable'

Musician Chris Cornell of the band Soundgarden arrives on the red carpet for the film ''Machine Gun Preacher'' during the 36th Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) September 11, 2011. REUTERS/Mark Blinch

The wife of Soundgarden frontman Chris Cornell said on Friday that she did not believe the singer meant to kill himself, suggesting anxiety drugs he was taking might have played a role in his death.

Cornell, 52, was found dead in the bathroom of his Detroit hotel on Wednesday night after the grunge band had played a concert in the city. The Wayne County Medical Examiner initially ruled the cause of death to be suicide by hanging.

"What happened is inexplicable, and I am hopeful that further medical reports will provide additional details," Vicky Cornell said in a statement. "I know that he loved our children, and he would not hurt them by intentionally taking his own life."

Cornell said the singer, a recovering addict, was taking the prescription drug Ativan, which treats anxiety and insomnia. One of the listed side effects is that it may increase depression and cause impaired judgment.

Kirk Pasich, a lawyer for the family, said they were disturbed at the inference that Cornell "knowingly and intentionally took his life" before the results of toxicology tests were known.

"The family believes that if Chris took his life, he did not know what he was doing, and that drugs or other substances may have affected his actions," Pasich said.

Ativan maker Pfizer Inc (PFE.N) had no immediate comment.

Cornell had spoken openly of his drug and alcohol addiction in the past, as well as periods of depression and agoraphobia.
http://www.reuters.com/article/us-people-chris-cornell-idUSKCN18F1QI


If this is true, we need to start holding these fucking drug companies accountable. These drugs are dangerous. And there's no one to hold them accountable.

Toby Keith Follows Trump, Will Perform In Saudi Arabia

DUBAI, United Arab Emirates — American country singer Toby Keith, known for songs such as “Whiskey Girl” and “Beer For My Horses,” is scheduled to perform in the Saudi capital, Riyadh, this weekend in an event that coincides with President Donald Trump’s first overseas visit.

Saudi entertainment website Lammt, which is advertising the event, says Saturday’s free concert is open to men only. It will also feature an Arabian lute player.

Saudi Arabia adheres to an ultraconservative interpretation of Islamic law. Alcohol is banned and unrelated men and women are segregated in public.

The kingdom has recently loosened the reins on entertainment, including allowing musical concerts that had been banned for the past two decades.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/entertainment/music/trump-visit-draws-country-singer-toby-keith-to-saudi-arabia/2017/05/18/b9f97d84-3bc6-11e7-a59b-26e0451a96fd_story.html?utm_term=.8820707ef859


I'm sure all his songs about hard drinking and partying will go over great with the Muslim crowd!
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