Breaking: Strange, Depressed Orange Man Spotted on Roof of WH

This is a developing story...

Reports are coming in about an orange hued man standing perilously close to the edge of the WH roof. The man is apparently repeating the same word over and over "MAGA", as he stares at the ground below. Police who have been called to the scene have sent in a professional psychologist to try and talk the man down, but so far it has not helped. The man is insisting he will only speak with Hannity from Fox News network. Police are afraid that the extra long tie the man is wearing will catch the wind that is beginning to pick up, and that he will be pulled over the edge. Several WH aides have tried luring the man off the roof with buckets of KFC, pizza from Pizza Hut, and charred steaks slathered in ketchup. So far, the only response has been a slight pause in the man's repetition of "MAGA" to say the words "Diet Coke". Evangelicals from across the country have showed up, promising to lay hands on the man's body should he decide to jump....

A woman has just emerged from the WH. It is unclear what she is saying. It appears she is speaking English but with a very heavy eastern European accent. It seems she is shouting insults at the man, encouraging him to jump. Yes, the woman is definitely trying to bully the man into jumping from the roof....

Firefighters have arrived on the scene. They seem to be wandering aimlessly. The fire chief is saying something about budget cuts and not being able to afford a safety net....


UPDATE AS OF 2PM TODAY!!!

Throughout the day yesterday a small crowd was gathered in front of the WH to watch the strange man on the roof. This afternoon, Hillary Clinton made an appearance and the crowd swelled to over 20,000. She autographed some copies of her new book and told everyone not to worry about the strange man on the roof: "This is just him being histrionic," she said. Hillary Clinton stayed for half an hour then left. The majority of the crowd dispersed soon afterward.

Why the Doom and Gloom Over Vacant "R" Seats?

Why is everyone assuming that these seats are going to be filled with people even more radically right leaning than before? Is there no possibility of a moderate filling Flake's seat? Rs must understand that dealing with the devil isn't getting them anywhere. They can read and understand the polls, and they know that the crazy right is not polling so well even within their party. The best way to save the party is to fill seats with moderates who have backbones and will stand up to Dotard. They have two options: Go further down that rabbit hole into oblivion, or regain control over their party to make it start working again.

I'm not a fan of the GOP, but at least I realize that what is good for them right now is good for us as well. Just imagine seats filled with Rs who want to take down Dotard! Just imagine true bipartisanship instead of obstructionism! Imagine if both parties wanted to get to the bottom of Russian collusion, save our electoral system, and save the country!

Call it a pipe dream if you must, but I'm banking on the majority of Rs to come to their senses.

Saddened and Humbled by a Student

I call her "Picnic" because she brings a monster sized backpack full of food with her to class and eats most (sometimes all) of that food at during class. I could be annoyed, but she is good student who has class until 9pm. The other day, she was telling me she was looking for another job. She has a full time job, but it does not pay enough. She works and takes a full load of classes. Who am I to question her eating during our class at 12:30pm? It's lunch time! Or maybe "picnic time".

Today Picnic came to class without any food. She said she only had $2 and wanted to know how much the cafeteria charged for fries. I asked her why she didn't just use a credit card. She didn't have one. Why didn't she have one? "They" wouldn't let her have one. This was beginning to get confusing for me. Why wouldn't "they" let her have one? Because she is DACA.

Uh oh! New revelation for me! Obviously this is a common problem because I did a quick Google search and found a lot of people asking about it. You can get a secured credit card if you put down some collateral. But, then again, Picnic doesn't make enough at her full time job, so that option is out.

Today, Picnic chewed gum and told me how "they" said that chewing gum will relieve hunger. It wasn't really working for her, though. That was seven hours ago, and as I write this she has another hour of classes to go. Before you ask, I would have given her some cash if I had any, but I rarely carry cash on me. Class was beginning, I have two classes back to back, and Picnic leaves in between (I never see her after the first class). Yes, I did think of how I could get some food for her.

I sincerely hope Picnic found something to eat. I'll have to ask her about it during our next class. And, you know, maybe I'll start carrying some cash with me! In the meantime, "they" had better get their act together because I'm tired of "them" picking on my students!

WH is now using fake Dotard?! WTF???

Take a look at this video allegedly of Dotard. It kind of looks like him, but there is definitely something off.

DUers with bumper stickers, resist t-shirts, pussy hats, etc

Have you faced any confrontations from displaying your anti-Dotard items? Have you or your property suffered any damage from confrontation?

Back in the W days, I had several bumper stickers on my truck. One day, I found that someone had come along and ripped off the bumper stickers and piled gravel on my hood. It was enough to make me think twice about putting bumper stickers on my truck back then, and I can't imagine what the response might be with anti-Dotard items displayed publicly today.

Dotard at it again with the anti-kneeling crap

Help Wanted: Trained Handler

Help wanted: trained handler for one rare Orange Russian Shit Gibbon.

Job Description:

One lucky applicant will be selected to keep Dotard, our Orange Russian Shit Gibbon, under control. He is getting older now and is suffering from dementia. The person selected to be his handler will need to keep his feces throwing and rampant tweeting in check. He is a silly boy and likes to stick his feet in his mouth, so you will need to be on the lookout for tell tale signs he might be getting ready to do just that. You will need to placate him with his favorite toys (Fifi his plush stuffed cat and Binky the file of all his positive reviews) while keeping him far removed from the myriad dangers found in his enclosure (red phone, stapler, pointy stick with flag attached). You must have a strong stomach to be able to deal with cleaning up after one of his feces throwing tantrums. You must be strong willed to correct his behavior and get him to go to bed on time. This is a 24/7 job. You will be on call at all hours of the day and night. Compensation will not be nearly adequate. You must really, really want to do this job for the sake of your country.

Interested applicants should email a resume and cover letter to:
Rex Tillerson
oilyboy@usa.gov

Let Me Tell You About The Rifle I Need to Purchase

What is the reasoning behind the need for an assault rifle to hunt with? How can people selling these things rationalize setting up a buyer with equipment that could take out a small town?

1.It needs to be semi-automatic that is easily convertible to full automatic. Ah, you can just throw in a bump fire stock.
Reasoning: Animals just don't want to die after being hit by only a few rounds. I need to put at least twenty rounds into an animal.

2.It needs to be powerful enough to carry at least four hundred yards while maintaining decent accuracy.
Reasoning: Look, I'm sitting in my blind with my beer, all comfy. I don't want to come out and actually have to move in closer to the animals I want to murder.

3.It needs to come with a clip that holds at least fifty rounds, and I need to buy at least ten clips to go with it.
Reasoning: See number two. I'm comfy in here, dammit!

4.It needs to come with a suppressor.
Reasoning: I'm enjoying the nice quiet of the outdoors, and I don't want to disturb the other animals that I don't want to murder (for the moment).

5.I'm going to need at least 1,000 rounds of ammo to go with that order.
Reasoning: I'm a really bad shot and need a hell of a lot of ammo in order to bring down one animal.

6. You know what, let me buy a dozen of those rifles.
Reasoning:

My Student Showed Me How Pervasive and Powerful the Anti-HRC Campaign Was

Twice a month now, a group of people are coming into my college to register students to vote. I saw them today and decided to ask my students if they were registered. This led them into to a discussion of who voted last year. One student is a Hispanic woman (born here and a citizen but identifies heavily with and has spent a lot of time in Mexico). She told me she hadn't voted because both candidates were bad and she didn't want either for president.

I got a little upset. No, I didn't say anything negative to the student. But it made me realize how insidious the Dotard campaign really was. My student is 20, Hispanic, female. Those are three good reasons for her voting for Hillary. The only reason possible for her not casting her vote for Hillary was the negativity, the lies, and the suppression by manipulation that occurred.

Look, this is not the first time one of my students has expressed this sentiment. It's just that this time around, my student had every reason imaginable to vote for HRC or, at least, against Dotard. So how do we get these young people to vote? How can we fight against the disinformation campaign? It's not legal for me to take my students aside and tell the how to vote even though I certainly feel like it. So who is in a position of authority and trust who can legally talk to these people? I mean, my God, today's revelation was a major nail in the coffin of hope.

KISS Gets Fans to Recite Pledge of Allegiance

The can go to hell. They always sucked, and now they suck even harder.

http://www.billboard.com/articles/columns/rock/7981907/kiss-concert-pledge-of-allegiance-watch